Lexusgs430:


The true meaning of cleave, was stated in the bible (if you're a Christian)........

Are you 29 years old?

lord help me!!!!! another brainwashed christian.... abeg go meet pastor for advice!!! just be careful when pastor is giving madam marraige counseling

aventura:
Something tells me that Tonyebarcanista is the op's husband.

HahHahaa

Iffa hear

zimdante:


Chaaaai see wisdom and experience , you will live long, 89% of women don't like their In-laws to visit or live with them but this one enter one chance because her husband is a real man.
Once again I greet you.

I Greet you specially boss

DenreleDave:



All what u said was gud except for some that was absolutely trash

U said they pretend to love him bcox of his finance.. U dissapointed me for saying that.. The man has been with his sisters longer than his wife.. Do u know the struggles they have been through together and you think the wife can just cut the man off his sisters... Pls next time reason perfectly.. U reasoned well but not perfect... The days of nothing, now that he has, u want his wife to cut them off... Unfair

I can not make perfect statement because I am not perfect, but all I know is that, anyone that hates your wife, hates your kids and you inclusive.

TonyeBarcanista:

Guy, don't be quick to take position because you are yet to get the fact. Do you think her in-laws are all foolish just like that to be making life uncomfortable for her without she doing anything? Do you think her husband is foolish to be telling her to make peace with his sisters? Guy, women are fond of owning the man in full without any "in-laws" coming. They love separating their husbands from their (husbands) families. They always want the man to support them at all times during any conflict with their in-laws (sisters and mother).

So, her husband telling her to settle her differences with his family is highly appropriate. As long as his in-laws aren't evil, any conflict must be resolved in its merit without any bias


Are you married? Do you have loving family?

Thank you for this.
I was fed up with how some guys are insulting the husband on this thread without truly getting the basics.
What they won't understand is that the OP won't say some of her negative attitudes which may have led to this quagmire in her marriage.
Ladies understand their tricks and that's why the sisters may have decoded her own tricks.

She (OP) may not a bad lady for me, but I think she should find a way to settle with her sisters in law.

TonyeBarcanista is a smart man for his analysis.
May you live long, Mr Tonye.

The other thing I forgot to say is the OP must also ask herself if she is the one unknowingly instigating a battle of control over her husband.

ALL women are manipulative!!!! plus wife plus mother plus sister. Sometimes they dont even know they are doing it, it's a basic survival instinct programmed into their DNA. Everywoman want secuirty fior her and her children, anyone that threatens to take it away and the mind automatically shifts into self preservation mode.

You are married ro a man with excess family load,he is not ready to break away from the claw...You have to fight some dirty one before your hubby
can realized he was not old or matured or be a man with but or be in charge..

jakandeola:
dont mistake my word pls. is dis attitude DAT cause problem in a family. so bossy.we know it is ur own but dont put it DAT way please.ur hubby can still sell his house or do wat he want wit it without ur permission. DAT house belong to ur baby more Dan u

Abeg bros no vex o but can a wife build a house without her husband's permission? I'm trying to understand something. Thanks in advance.

isthatso:



you are a very stubborn person o, i'm sorry for your wife!!!

Did you not see the part where i said do not marry a mummy boy or a son from a single mother?

If however you then find yourself in such a situation and the man is a good man, then you have to manage the situation with sense.

Like i said you are clearly not a married man...nobody win with such my way or the highway postures and only a man lacking in experience will say what you said.

And by the way every relationship involves some level of control and manipulation. If you think it's about love, stop working and see if you have a wife in a year or 2.

Goes to show, you don't understand the true rudiments of marriage......

I have been out of work for over 2 years, and my wife never complained. All bills remained paid, she would even paid money into my account, without asking her......

And when it was time for acrobatics in the oza room, she never complained......

So you see, when you have the ability to compromise and understanding, your watchword........

You would enjoy your wife......... Give and take...... A man that wants peace in his home, actively seeks for a peaceful relationship with his wife. .......

My cousin's wife wouldn't tolerate this one bit. She would deal with them one after the other until they all get frustrated and leave

I feel your pain tho everyone has a story to tell sha

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

Superbly dissected and dissolved without fear or favour.
This is what many modern young wives do.
They come with intent to isolate hubby from his relatives with excuses of interference.
They forget that hubby didn't come alone to marry her from her parents on the day of the marriage.
Many modern marriages won't last as long as our young wives want to practice Western style of "me and my husband" alone.

Fountainofyouth:


Did you not see where she said she tried making peace with them by giving gifts etc? She tried everything she could to be the better person but they gave her cold shoulder, just because he's the only son and the most successful, did you not see that? Don't you think they envy the fact that she the wife is benefiting from the riches? If she is alienating the husband from them, will the husband join in the cold shoulder and with holding sex like a child? Doesn't that show immaturity in his part?

You see one thing with some so called men here, in their quest to sound unbiased and intelligent, they just couldn't help the fact that supporting the man is their sole aim, regardless of what is glaring, then if they can't avoid blaming the man, the come up with their famous words "we don't know the fact or the whole story" SMH!!!

You dont buy love.. She tried to buy there heart with gifts

Submission and diplomacy
Let us always try to accommodate and let some things slide for our peace of mind

Lexusgs430:



Goes to show, you don't understand the true rudiments of marriage......

I have been out of work for over 2 years, and my wife never complained. All bills remained paid, she would even paid money into my account, without asking her......

And when it was time for acrobatics in the oza room, she never complained......

So you see, when you have the ability to compromise and understanding, your watchword........

You would enjoy your wife......... Give and take...... A man that wants peace in his home, actively seeks for a peaceful relationship with his wife. .......

fantasist!! the more you post the more you expose yourself.

Hi, if you don't mind we can communicate via email.... I had a similar experience

isthatso:


fantasist!! the more you post the more you expose yourself.

When you get married and have a few kids..... Relate on how you are managing your home.....

But I hope you don't enter your marriage, with a rigid mindset..........

isthatso:
The other thing I forgot to say is the OP must also ask herself if she is the one unknowingly instigating a battle of control over her husband.

ALL women are manipulative!!!! plus wife plus mother plus sister. Sometimes they dont even know they are doing it, it's a basic survival instinct programmed into their DNA. Everywoman want secuirty fior her and her children, anyone that threatens to take it away and the mind automatically shifts into self preservation mode.

She'll not say anything about her attitude to them oh!

Marriage is WORK.....more work than ur day job.
Women are their worst enemy. If the hubby had a brother he wouldnt be involved in this rivalry.
If the hubby's parents were alive, the situation would have been different
The wife is a human being, just like all the rest of u. She deserves to enjoy her marriage
SILs have always been a threat to their brothers marriages while protecting their own.
Ur hubby should take charge of the situation, for this discuss with him with a view to finding a lasting solution. In such solution u, ur hubby and the kids come first.

Am saying all these based on experience. I was in a similar situation in the 1st 4-5 years of my marriage until i drew the line and my marriage is now 19yrs by the grace of God without interference from SILs. Most of those SILs are selfish in the name of loving their brothers. I deal with my Sisters, they shall be eternally mine so i help, assist as i can. But my wife is my wife....y'all stay away from her. My wife did not exchange ring with the family...na me she exchange ring with afteralls.

Marriage is work.....and like all 21st century work.....it requires training and re-training. All those 19th century style of marrying husband family no dey work again o, unduly exposing ur wife and children to some sisters wey get their own family.......all those SILs will not accept what they are dishing out....

Talk with ur husband, both of una reason the matter well well. Nobody is more interested in u than u!

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kingkakaone:

Thank you for this.
I was fed up with how some guys are insulting the husband on this thread without truly getting the basics.
What they won't understand is that the OP won't say some of her negative attitudes which may have led to this quagmire in her marriage.
Ladies understand their tricks and that's why the sisters may have decoded her own tricks.

She (OP) may not a bad lady for me, but I think she should find a way to settle with her sisters in law.

TonyeBarcanista is a smart man for his analysis.
May you live long, Mr Tonye.

Gbam!

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

I just like the way u analysed the whole story, no sugar coating..... A married woman with clean/clear mind will always b in unison with her in-laws. Some women always have a way of preparing stories if things don't work in their way/plan.

Lexusgs430:



When you get married and have a few kids..... Relate on how you are managing your home.....

But I hope you don't enter your marriage, with a rigid mindset..........

you say you are married for 29 years that makes you at least 49. No 49 year old man married with children and real life issuues will use Lexusgs430 as his moniker, that is an adolescent mind still obsessed with Toys!!

Madam You Case I Have Seen Before... This Exact Thing Happened To Someone Else, after Taking Too Many Rubbish She Filed For Divorce the Husband Was Forced To Push Sister Away because It All Became Clear

isthatso:


you say you are married for 29 years that makes you at least 49. No 49 year old man married with children and real life issuues will use Lexusgs430 as his moniker, that is an adolescent mind still obsessed with Toys!!

The year I entered secondary school, I bet you never smelt earth.........

IamPlato:
Madam You Case I Have Seen Before... This Exact Thing Happened To Someone Else, after Taking Too Many Rubbish She Filed For Divorce the Husband Was Forced To Push Sister Away because It All Became Clear

A person with sense.........

MEGA4BILLION:
Your husband is still immature to be the man of the family. The problem isn't you but your husband, he is not incharge of his family. For a better advice, can you highlight some of these problems between you and your sisters-in-laws.

Always listen to other side before you conclude. Family matters are convoluted.

kingkakaone:

Thank you for this.
I was fed up with how some guys are insulting the husband on this thread without truly getting the basics.
What they won't understand is that the OP won't say some of her negative attitudes which may have led to this quagmire in her marriage.
Ladies understand their tricks and that's why the sisters may have decoded her own tricks.

She (OP) may not a bad lady for me, but I think she should find a way to settle with her sisters in law.

TonyeBarcanista is a smart man for his analysis.
May you live long, Mr Tonye.

Amen and you too

Amanee:
How have you been dealing with it for the past ten years?


Continue in the same way

How has this helped? She said she is fed up. it wasnt getting easy, rather getting worse. and u see no issue with it? wow

Lexusgs430:



The year I entered secondary school, I bet you never smelt earth.........

your responses are juvenile

isthatso:


you say you are married for 29 years that makes you at least 49. No 49 year old man married with children and real life issuues will use Lexusgs430 as his moniker, that is an adolescent mind still obsessed with Toys!!

I have more gadgets than an average 25 year old....... Are you saying, older folks should avoid technological toys......

You lie...... We the older generation, shall never be left behind..........

A decade of tolerance. If this is the honest truth from you.
You need space to reflect because he may never change.
You may give in to depression.
Ask yourself can I continue with this?
If I can what are the measures to adapt for me to remain sane in this marriage.