Adedayobusayo12:
Single ladies, shine your eyes before you marry. Some men are not worth it. A man will leave his family and cleave to his wife. They are one! If I like I will carry my child and give my parents to look after if that's what will give me peace of mind. A husband that cannot mediate between his siblings and wife and also draw a line so as each will not cross is a fool. Get a job and do what you enjoy. Let the fool marry his sisters. One idiot will come and stay in my house for five years, come dey spoil my name again, Ogun go kiiii am. I have a brother and I will never go and intimidate his wife or pokenose in his marriage. When you marry into a lowlife family where they all depend on kobo from the man, this is the results. Poor and aggressive siblings.

Chi59:

Taking my husband's siblings as mine is one thing, knowing that both my siblings and his are secondary to the family (me, him and our kids) is another. Don't argue with me.

TonyeBarcanista:

You want him to stand up to his sisters and at same time expect amicable solution? Jesus!

And yes, the husband has a loving family that is as important as life itself. The wife has to blend by making peace with her husband's siblings. There is no ambiguity here!

I am saying this because I have loving family, I will never separate from my family because I married someone. She should be seeking true reconciliation with her SILs instead of seeking her husband "support".

Pussywar:

Imagine thinking "feminist" or "lesbian" is an insult. Pure mumu.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

TonyeBarcanista:

The only way a woman can win my heart fully to hers is by showing love to my blood. There is no way a woman can love and respect you without showing same to your family

Funkybabee:
You will continue in other to have peace in your home.


Maybe you are not accommodating, try to be jovial.. It's only peace that can solve this, if you turn ur hubby against them, the outcome might not be good

innobarca:

You took your child to your mother? Why?
I thought you were married then so how will your own mother dictate what happens in your home.
In my place, it is a disrespect to the husband's family.
Your problem started from there.

They don't like your mom, Why? Because she make decisions in your home? If your mom is running your home then it's never good.

It is very difficult for all your husband family to hate you, there should be 1 person that loves you.

Your husband know you very well, he loves you,He love his sisters too.

Your husband loves your mom and your family, I am sure of that bc you did not say otherwise.
So pls don't make him hate his own sisters.

I remembered many years ago when my sister brought her child home bc of some issues in her marriage, my parents told her to take the child to the husband's family.

She did and they told her to stay with them for few days, within that few days the husband people made peace between her and the husband.

Most times the problem starts little by little.

Make peace with his sisters, let your husband see it by himself.
Then he will know you have done your part.

There is no problem in your marriage.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

.

Pussywar:

Is like you where there, you're living in the house. Oh wait, you're the houseboy so you know the real story, ba? How did you come to this conclusion? 89% of men are dimwitted hating ass toxic lizards

Fountainofyouth:



Jakande you are joining a crackhead to insult me? Me? If you know who I am, you won't do that at all, and if you know the genesis of me and that guy, you wouldn't say all you're saying.

TonyeBarcanista:

You want him to stand up to his sisters and at same time expect amicable solution? Jesus!

And yes, the husband has a loving family that is as important as life itself. The wife has to blend by making peace with her husband's siblings. There is no ambiguity here!

I am saying this because I have loving family, I will never separate from my family because I married someone. She should be seeking true reconciliation with her SILs instead of seeking her husband "support".

Nat404:
Okay but this is just an African mentality, a European woman takes her husband's siblings as hers. Whereas in Nigeria, it's a different ball game in the sense that when a man brings a woman home as his wife, the wife tends to drive away her husband's siblings.

ZIMDRILL:


which post did you read?

you are replying to your own version of the story

1 her own mum came to look after the child and that move the sisters took it as "her own mum has influence in her daughter's marriage"

2 so since that incident they have never liked her mum t

ZIMDRILL:


you are wrong dear you are watching to many movies

these things happen in every society in life be it africans, europeans asians etc

example look at the media how they paint MEGHAN Prince Harry's wife they say the royals dont like her because they think she has made HARRY change


look at AMIR KHAN the boxer, how his family dont like his wife

Nat404:
Do you know as Nigerians we don't love one another?

Nat404:
Now, let me tell you, you see, those siblings you don't have much respect for, are the ones who gave your husband the green light to marry you.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

Nat404:
Blood is thicker than water. The man's blood sisters and brothers are also important.

crackhaus:

I'm not blaming her entirely, never did.
In my experience, I have come to learn that anytime two women are fighting, be rest assured that NONE of them is innocent.

TonyeBarcanista:

You want him to stand up to his sisters and at same time expect amicable solution? Jesus!

And yes, the husband has a loving family that is as important as life itself. The wife has to blend by making peace with her husband's siblings. There is no ambiguity here!

I am saying this because I have loving family, I will never separate from my family because I married someone. She should be seeking true reconciliation with her SILs instead of seeking her husband "support".

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, it seems you are the husband. Just don't deny
Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

ZIMDRILL:


which post did you read?

you are replying to your own version of the story

1 her own mum came to look after the child and that move the sisters took it as "her own mum has influence in her daughter's marriage"

2 so since that incident they have never liked her mum

3 Love for your sister/s and wife are totally different things, they cant be grouped into the same basket