newsphase:
Am so sorry to ask but please tell me


How old are you?

lytech1:
Going against ur mum wish might be dangerous coz she knows more than you think you know..
Further more,tribe or no tribe issue might not be the main reason she is kicking against the relationship..
There might be something hidden she didn't want to reveal to you about the lady (that's the power of age and experience).


Following her wish might inturn hurt you in the end....

Advice: play along with the relationship behind the scene and let's God will prevail.

sinaj:
This is 2016 nt 90s.

It's not right to avoid a person because of his/her tribe as if she chose that tribe wen she was created


Ask ur mom why she doesn't like the tribe, if she has no reason, go ahead nd follow ur heart.

You might not love another the way u love her.

Your mum might evn get along with her later on when she see her good side.

panthera4:
28

newsphase:


But, forgive me you talk like a mama's boy, or a spoiled child who doesn't have a stand..

You even said she warned your girl to stop seeing you... meaning that you are still living with your parents? I was watching an episode of tinsel today when the mother wanted her son to go for a conference and he refused.. she ordered him to, but he refused according to the fact that he is a man and has his own say, then the mother let him be...

So have you made your own say known to your mum... also check out the girl it may be more than just her tribe, as mothers are kind of very perceptive

Treasuredlove:
All because of her tribe? Not a good enough reason. You love your mom but you cannot marry her and she isn't going to be the one to deal with the person you marry everyday. Tell her to give you a better reason for saying no

Spicylate:
Honestly I'm in this situation too. Their only reason is his tribe. That don't even want to know who he is or what he does. They were even like if they hadn't renewed my rent, they would have sent me to my home town.
I'm still going to bring up the topic when we all arrive the villa cosI have embraced the life. It won't be easy but I'm ready and we are going to the whole ironing. There must be a conclusion. I'm praying on it too. Also cos I believe it's important to have my parents blessings.
I think you need to take a time off, settle down and think. If it's settled that you can embrace such race, have a number 2 meeting. I pray you get favoured.

panthera4:

My dear I pray about this every second!
I have told my girl to be strong
I just believe that things will turn around for our favor

Sexxkillz:
One thing you should know is, if you allow your mom choose who you marry (whether from your tribe or another) you are finished as a man and will always run to her for everything. She'll cause problems for your wife. She'll cause problems between you and your wife. If an ant bites you, your wife caused it. Your wife's food will be too salty to her. Your wife's food will be too peppery to her. Your wife will also lose respect for you, even though she never says it to your face.

You cannot marry your mom. One day, your mom will die and leave this world(everyone will, my mom too). When she's gone, you'll now be left with the consequences of allowing her make a decision for you. It could be that you my never love the girl she forced you to marry, and you'll forever regret allowing your mom to come in between you and your happiness.

In as much as I love my mom and respect her, I'll never ever allow her make such a decision for me. That she gave birth to me doesn't mean I'll please her, and displease myself.

You have to put your foot down and make a decision. Never ever make a decision that'll leave you unhappy till the day you die. . . Your life, your choices.

Spicylate:
let God's will be done.

lytech1:
Going against ur mum wish might be dangerous coz she knows more than you think you know..
Further more,tribe or no tribe issue might not be the main reason she is kicking against the relationship..
There might be something hidden she didn't want to reveal to you about the lady (that's the power of age and experience).


Following her wish might inturn hurt you in the end....

Advice: play along with the relationship behind the scene and let's God will prevail.

CrazyQuinn:
because his mum experienced something in the past doesn't mean it's going to happen to her son too. Most parents, especially African parents always put the fears they have of their past on their children's life, which will make the children miss a wonderful opportunity that will affect their children positively. Op, you need to tell your mum that she shouldn't let the fears of her past to interfere with your life or the choices you make.

panthera4:

Strong words I must say

Kobicove:
There are so many more issues to deal with when you marry someone from a different tribe...

You must be ready to deal with these additional issues if you want to proceed with this relationship, do you really want to complicate things for yourself?

What an adult can see while sitting down a child will not see even if he climbs the tallest tree

Trust me, your mother wants what's best for you


I am NOT a tribalist but I would not advise a person to marry from a tribe that is very dissimilar from one's one if it can be avoided!!!

CrazyQuinn:
because his mum experienced something in the past doesn't mean it's going to happen to her son too. Most parents, especially African parents always put the fears they have of their past on their children's life, which will make the children miss a wonderful opportunity that will affect their children positively. Op, you need to tell your mum that she shouldn't let the fears of her past to interfere with your life or the choices you make.

Illuminatus:
Have a talk with your mother and calmly ask her why she doesn't want you to marry your girlfriend. Listen to her. See if the reason is valid. If after that you're still convinced that you will marry her, tell your mother so firmly without making it seem like you're defying her or arguing. Make her see that you are happy with this girl and whoever or what she may be, she is the one you have chosen.

Whatever happens, dont let your mother decide who you marry or not. You are the one getting married, not her.

Sexxkillz:
One thing you should know is, if you allow your mom choose who you marry (whether from your tribe or another) you are finished as a man and will always run to her for everything. She'll cause problems for your wife. She'll cause problems between you and your wife. If an ant bites you, your wife caused it. Your wife's food will be too salty to her. Your wife's food will be too peppery to her. Your wife will also lose respect for you, even though she never says it to your face.

You cannot marry your mom. One day, your mom will die and leave this world(everyone will, my mom too). When she's gone, you'll now be left with the consequences of allowing her make a decision for you. It could be that you may never love the girl she forced you to marry, and you'll forever regret allowing your mom to come in between you and your happiness.

In as much as I love my mom and respect her, I'll never ever allow her make such a decision for me. That she gave birth to me doesn't mean I'll please her, and displease myself.

You have to put your foot down and make a decision. Never ever make a decision that'll leave you unhappy till the day you die. . . Your life, your choices.

lytech1:

What a boy climb a tree to see,his father will see that even while lying down.
It takes only a thief to know the footpath of a fellow thief..
Its not about what happened to the mother in the past but what she is seeing in the lady presently.

Sometimes we are lost thinking we are in love...

Never trade your parent blessing for love

rosalieene:
Sometimes I don't blame parents for refusing to give their children's hand in marriage to a particular tribe. Just last week, I lost a neighbor. She got married to a calabar man last year. before their wedding, her family and friends kicked against it but she insisted and was saying that its her life. Immediately after the wedding, she took in and that was when trouble started. The man's family were angry as he doesn't send the quota of his salary he sends to them. They told the lady they will deal with her as they felt she was the cause. When she took in, she was sick all through. God been merciful she gave birth. After delivery, she ran mad, if the madness go another form of sickness would come.
they took her to different prayer houses.. Everyone was happy that she recovered. They were meant to go for Thanksgiving service last Sunday as all her siblings came due to her recovery, in the midnight of Saturday that week, she gave up.
In essence, I ain't saying calabar or any tribe is bad but its important to make inquiries about the family of the person you are getting married to, to prevent stories that touches.