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What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 10:04am On Sep 02, 2016 |
Am newly separated from my husband. Ran with 2 kids for my life, sanity and my soul.. my husband was very abusive but he was a wonderful father. My 4 year old daughters birthday is today and her birthday wish is "mum can I see my Daddy, I miss him so much and I don't want to forget him" I tried to reach her father severally to talk his daughter he is not interested. He wants me to come back immediately and has refused to acknowledge his abusive ways and the need to treat me right. |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 10:09am On Sep 02, 2016 |
Calmly talk to your daughter, tell her that daddy is really busy making her future bright and that very soon, she will meet him and there will be a bigger birthday party for the whole family. Then pray towards that. Exercise faith. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 10:12am On Sep 02, 2016 |
Juz tell ur daughter tat her father is busy and working in another place that he can't come home to celebrate with her... But never promise anything to ur children tat u know it will be very difficult to happen... 7 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by generalbush(m): 10:20am On Sep 02, 2016 |
Eeeya... I really feel for you... 3 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Flexherbal(m): 10:24am On Sep 02, 2016 |
Is there nobody in the family that can handle this issue well? |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Dyt(f): 10:29am On Sep 02, 2016 |
The bond must have been so wonderful but thank God she's still a kid Tell her daddy is busy Take her out Thank goodness its weekend Now they need you to spend time with them How's your work schedule like? What can you do to make them remember him less, ofcus they will always ask of daddy Be creative in attending to their needs I wish you all the best in this journey In all I applaud your courage Its better to leave when you can 5 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by thorpido(m): 12:02pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
You've done what's best at the moment.Leave a place of abuse. Tell your daughter her dad is busy.Try to take her out if time permits so she has some fun. I hope you work and have a source of income.I also hope your place of abode presently is alright.Don't be anxious and don't be in a hurry to change anything.If your hubby makes moves to reconcile,take your time. 11 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by basingstoke: 1:25pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Being a victim of abuse is a mistake, but staying and remaining abused is a choice. You should be happy that you can at least tell her something by yourself. Please do not let it get to a stage where it will be complete stranger trying to explain to her. Do not get me wrong, I am a man. not a woman. Men are equally abused by their wives as well, for the men, the issues are more complex, people expect you to 'man-up', but at times... 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by HMZi: 1:49pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Be straight with ur daughter but do it gently....children are lot stronger than we usually think...shower her adequately with love..she'll need male influences in her life,so get ur bro's to b around......small small e go beta 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Pidggin(f): 2:00pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Tell her he loves her and he would have been there if he could but he can't because he is busy. Never talk bad about her dad to her but gradually let her know you and him have to live apart for some time. You might need to have a routine where he can see them at regular times a week. 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:23pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Flexherbal:Every one tried. He is punishing my children becos of me..he wans us to suffer and run back to him. |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:25pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Pidggin:Unfortunately my kids father is punishing my children because of me .I tell her every day Dad loves her and am sure he is missing her too. If only she understands and stop disturbing me |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:28pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
HMZi: Thanks for your advice. I know she needs a male figure. No one around for now ,I pray she gets use to it fast |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:30pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
basingstoke:Leaving was the hardest decision I ever took...I hav no regrets..I only pray things get better. Sometimes I get frustrated 3 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:35pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Thank you. I cant give them all they are use getting from Dad but am giving my best. All I can offer Dyt: |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Jay542(m): 2:42pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
TrapQueen77:He can't also speak to her on the phone? |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:46pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Jay542: Tat maga father refused to talk ooo... Read the thread again.. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 2:50pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Jay542:I sent him a message the last time that his daughter wans to speak to him. He totally ignored me |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Jay542(m): 2:50pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
All these advice 'daddy is busy', Years go pass she'll still keep asking and daddy will still keep being busy. Just talk to her dad that you'll tell her the truth if he doesn't speak to her on the phone to wish her a blissful birthday and if he doesn't just be straight the kid. Children are smarter than the way we expect. 9 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Jay542(m): 2:54pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
TrapQueen77:It's not really bou the maga father. It's bou the pikin. If she keeps lieing, I wonder how long she'll have to keep lieing about the busy father. |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Jay542(m): 2:56pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
kokoprincess: Jay542: |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 3:26pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
kokoprincess: As you have said he is a wonderful father, there is some hope There is usually a tight bond between father and daughter Things are most probably very hot now and he is trying to manipulate you into going back to him With time, he will realise that you are not coming back until you are 100% sure that he has changed. And even if he does change, make sure its permanent and nit just because he wants you back. If he as good a father as you say, then very soon he will start missing his children and will find ways of seeing them All I beg you is that when he does come back to his senses and he wants to start seeing his kids please let him and neither of you must use the kids as pawns. I pray for strength for you and I pray for wisdom for you on how to deal with the children. It is well my sista Happy Birthday to the little one God bless her. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 3:45pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
Jay542: Ofcurz she can't lie to her children for the rest of their lives.. She waits til they can understand the situation... 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by thorpido(m): 4:46pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
kokoprincess:God will give you the strength,be strong.With time it gets easier. Are you staying alone with the kids now or you are with a friend or family member? |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by thorpido(m): 4:50pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
TrapQueen77:Exactly.After a while,she will start to understand that daddy might not be coming back soon and the mother can start to break it down in bits to her. 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by cococandy(f): 4:55pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
If he was really a good a father like you say, he won't hurt his kids to manipulate you into coming back to him knowing that he's most likely going to continue the abuse. What kind of good father doesn't care that his kid misses him and ignores when you try to reach out so that he can even just say hello? Spending money on children is not all there is to being a good parent. Respecting the other parent in their life (not abusing them) and being there emotionally for the kid/s is even more important than dumping money on them. 6 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 11:09pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
cococandy:am still in shock he is treating his daughter he claims to love so much this way all because he wants to me hurt me. He is a hard hearted man |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 11:10pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
thorpido:Yeah..am alone with the kids |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 11:12pm On Sep 02, 2016 |
tearoses:Thank you Dear. God bless you too |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 12:05am On Sep 03, 2016 |
Don't use general terms.... Be specific.... Does he hit you? Anyway, if you are through with the marriage, you should come to an arrangement as to how to share custody since its you he's abusing not the kids.... You don't use your kids as collateral.... 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by cococandy(f): 12:54am On Sep 03, 2016 |
kokoprincess:live and love your daughter. You guys will make it through this rough patch. I don't know him but an abusive partner can also be mean to his/her kids so it's not that shocking. What irks me in all this is that after abandoning his responsibilities and the kid grows up, he might come crawling out of wherever to claim a stake in the kid's life. |
Re: What Should I Tell My 4 Year Old About Her Father by Nobody: 6:19am On Sep 03, 2016 |
njokusboy:Thank you...The last thing I am going to do is deprive him from being a father to his kids except he Is being abusive or my kids safety is threatened. When your dealing with sick partner (narcissism) and he turns it against you. It's hard. From Emotional abuse to verbal abuse to physical abuse. It kept progressing, I was leaving in total fear. |
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