Urgent Advice - Family (7) - Nairaland
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How Do I Recover My Money From My Uncle? Urgent Advice Needed Please. / Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. / Urgent Advice Needed: Should I Wait For Her? (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Urgent Advice by raumdeuter: 4:47pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Deafndumb: Let your parent handle it like elders |
| Re: Urgent Advice by raumdeuter: 4:48pm On Apr 01, 2016 |
Deafndumb: They should have taught their daughter to close her leg as well. Did you force Pregnancy on her? |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 11:54am On Apr 02, 2016 |
raumdeuter: They are really trying but her family is crazy |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:32pm On Apr 10, 2016 |
My gf is now living with me, mind you she's pregnant. My parent had a discussion with her parents about the possibility of the child not being mine. I don't know what their reactions would be. I sincerely wished my parents didnt go there at all. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:33pm On Apr 10, 2016 |
Won't the minor's parent view it that I'm trying to deny my involvement because of my gf? |
| Re: Urgent Advice by mizquote(f): 11:24am On Apr 12, 2016 |
I think this story is false |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 3:05pm On Apr 12, 2016 |
mizquote: Do I need to send u my address before u believe. I update when there is a new twist in the issue. After all I'm not a blogger trying to gain traffic. I'm just confused, an unbiased view will help me a lot. As most views and advice I get from friends might be slightly towards my advantage, that's why I need anonymous and independent views |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Anugod(f): 7:58am On Apr 20, 2016 |
Deafndumb how far na? How are your baby mamas doing? What's new? |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 6:05am On May 10, 2016 |
@Deafndumb Just wanna ask u.Did anyone come up or did u hear new story about the young girl which u felt a different way right now and you which u never took the step of accepting to be responsible for her preg at that period? because am sure new stories would come up and u might regret accepting the preg at first...let me know ur Opinion . |
| Re: Urgent Advice by capnies: 9:15am On May 10, 2016 |
u can do he DNA test now it is easier though more expensive all we need is a sample from the foetus. take her to the nearest teaching hospital. but don't disclose your intentions goodluck |
| Re: Urgent Advice by capnies: 9:25am On May 10, 2016 |
you can perform the DNA test now don't wait just walk into any teaching hospital near u keep your mouth shot goodluck |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:41pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Anugod: Thanks a lot, the baby mamas r doing great. Health wise I thank God. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:48pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Tritri: Yeah, a lot had happened, I have not been online because reality (expenses) had set in. I have to put all my time into making some extra cash The minors parent wants to kill me with request, though I told them I can't afford it, her mum especially, really wants me to foot all the bills but I refuse some on the grounds that the child is possibly not mine, which in turn results to heated arguments before cooling things off. My regret for now is telling the minors parent of my gf's state(being pregnant), it really messed up things, My gf's parents r really pushing for marriage, but I dont want to have that yet because I feel it will only aggravate issues. I didnt disclose to my gf's parent of the other potential child because I learnt it was a bad idea from the first I disclosed to. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:52pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
capnies: I didn't know about the teaching hospital dna stuff before now, I would have done that secretly but right now things are really complicated as my access to the girl had been drastically reduced because I tried to clarify the issue of other potential fathers coupled with my other baby mamas issue |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:06pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
The major challenge right now is when ever I visit the minor, her mum keeps asking me questions which would prompt me to remind her that the child is possibly not mine. This creates issues a lot. Even when I try to avoid the question, she will pester until I respond. She curses me a lot, despite me trying to support her child Tru. I thought it would be easy to care for a couple of month but its very difficult. I wish I could just ignore the girl along side her family, my conscience won't just let me rest. Even when I am conscious of the fact that the child may not be mine, I feel it's just a consequence for bedding her that I have to pay even if after everything and the child isn't mine. At least I would sleep peacefully knowing that I have done everything I could for her. On more than two occasions I have been walked out of their house Right now should I continue visiting her or I should just ignore her? And should I proceed with my marriage rites with my gf or not? 1 Like |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 7:30pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
@Deafndumb good to hear ur doing fine.First of all. going there all alone isn't even fair.U should av gone with an elder. and it seems ur financially buoyant , Cox if u dont av d cash am sure u wouldn't mention ur conscience . Finally concentrate on ur GF and at list try to build a family now and that minor will treat u diffrently and u can focus on ur future which is mostly important..But if u decide to play along with both it might distract u from been focus and also any cash u make for 1-3yrs might be spent on taken care of each of them.If i were U and i av a job.I would get married to my GF. then my wife and kid will be my priority ,I might even take d child from the minor and train them and av peace for life.That better dan...abuse from minor..next day requesting for money...then GF same again...then ur life becomes nuisance # No savings. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 8:21pm On Jun 16, 2016 |
Tritri: Thanks a lot man. It's not easy o, I have to pend m gf's expenditure sometimes to cater for the minors, although the minors parents also have been taking care of their daughter |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 10:36am On Aug 23, 2016 |
@Deafndumb whatsup Baby dan born ? Once the baby is born let me knw, i've few advice to give you on this. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:35pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Thanks a lot for your advice and contributions so far. It has really helped The situation of things now is that the minor had put to bed. The mother and child are doing fine, she put to bed in mid July. Thankful to God, it was a safe and quick delivery, no complications. We returned home from the clinic with smiles, everyone was happy, different reasons though, as I was obviously grateful to God for making the delivery safe and not because I had become a father as I wasn't sure he is mine. Little did I know I wouldn't get my answers immediately. I had thought immediately the baby arrives, I would have my answer. I was disappointed to see just an innocent, handsome looking baby boy, he looked perfectly like a baby. Please note: I had never seen the other potential father physically. Just a brief peep at his profile pix on what's app. (on the minor's phone I had to christen the boy as I was the only one to do so, the other potential father didn't show up. The ceremony was brief and tensed as both families were not cool with each other, no physical issues, but the emotional and verbal trauma was just too terrible. I was surprised when I the pastor christening the boy removed some of the names I had intended to give the boy, the pastor though a stranger to my family and but known to the minor's family decided to remove some names. The ceremony had to take place at the minor's place because my family wanted to play safe. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:36pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Now to the main reason I remembered to come visit this thread |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:19pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
After one of my visits this week, on Wednesday to be precise as I do visit at least 4 times weekly, something funny and confusing happened. I had recently left her place after we had discussed about how to get her back on track with her life, I just received some set of messages on whatsapp. She was like she had a confession to make regard the paternity of the boy, plus I would get mad at her, that I will forever hate her. Immediately I saw the messages, I picked up my phone to ask what she was trying to say, but she went offline immediately. I swiftly dialed her number, as my head was hot and my heart was racing really fast, the phone began to ring, she didn't answer her call. I tried the number the second time within split seconds after the first try, but to my surprise her phone was switched off. Pissed and confused I left where I was hurriedly, dashing to her house, after some minutes I was about 400 meters away from her house. Unfortunately, I couldn't continue my journey to her house because I was having mixed feelings, confused, angered, anxious, I then decided to turn back, headed for home immediately. 1 Like |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:19pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Seconds after I arrived home, I picked up my phone, rang her elder brother, asked of his current location, he answered; bros I dey house. I replied immediately, tell your sister make she enter whatsapp sharparly. After some minutes, staring at the most recent series of messages I had sent to her, expecting the second mark and then the change in color of the marks, I picked up my phone the second time, this time around I had lost a part of my patience, couldn't mask the anger in my voice, hooked up her brother and was like shey you never give her my message ni. The brother replied saying she talk say her mb (data bandwidth) don finish. I immediately dropped the call. Confused, I never knew human brain could be faster that the fastest computer, I processed all series of events with the last 11 months, my ALU (arithmetic logic unit) became overloaded, data began to overflow and I began to get series of errors, from syntax error etc. I couldn't make a decision, as I wanted peace at all cost. I didn't want to act immaturely. I chatted with her brother for a while then logged off. Immediately I logged off, her mum Called me about 5times, I didn't pick up, later the girl started calling. I refused to answer as I was like confused. I don't want to say the wrong things cos my head was still spinning, that I had been foolish. I kept blaming myself for being weak, for letting myself get used, so I decided not to talk to anyone until my head settled 1 Like |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:31pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Some minutes after the calls stopped, my whatsapp began buzzing again. I kept reading the messages, she was like it was a joke, she was teasing me. I sincerely became happy. I felt relieved. I think I had began to like the boy. Yet again another thought of the other potential father struck through my mind. I bacame unhappy again plus confused. I decided not to reply her messages because I had sent two messages I was already in feeling regret about. We later chatted when I my head became cool, she said it was a joke and that she was sorry. I was like it was an expensive one as you know what was on ground before I told her I needed to clear doubt about the boy and told her I must perform my family rites on the boy. I told her that if I am not the biological father of the boy and the rites are done, it's results would be devastating. She was reluctant to accept and gave me an infinite time as to when we would do it. |
| Re: Urgent Advice by TV01(m): 7:38pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
@anxious"n"confused Have a DNA test performed as soon as is feasibly possible. The longer this uncertainty persists the more damaging the fallout will be if the child is not yours. You don't appear to be able to handle this in the calm manner that is required. Involve the right elders in your family. Anything else at this point is just story. Everything is up in the air until you know for sure either way. DNA test now! TV 3 Likes |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:45pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
On getting to her house today, her mother challenged me as to why I hadn't visited for some days, I told her what daughter texted me. To my surprise she started to justify her daughter's action. I told her that her daughter made an expensive joke and that there is no problem but all I need to do is clear the doubts. I then told her (the minor's mum) about the family rites. Just like I had anticipated, she refused vehemently. In short, she started playing the victim. Turned the issue into a hot argument and eventually blamed me for impregnating two women. The girl's father was at home today when the issue began, he was later invited to the discuss. Initially he chastised his daughter for such an expensive joke and issued a Stern warning to his daughter never to joke with that issue. Suddenly he changed his opinion after his wife told him that the girl said so because I wasnt catering for her needs fully. Finally she told me never to come visit again in the presence of the husband and the husband didn't alter a word. Here I am at home confused on what to do |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:48pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
TV01: Thanks alot I'll go inquire about the cost of the DNA testing. Or do u have an idea |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Ishilove: 8:06pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Deafndumb, your story is plenty. Perform a. DNA test in a clinic where the officials can't be compromised and move on with your life. 2 Likes |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 10:00pm On Sep 03, 2016 |
Deafndumb:Your next comment/update on this thread should be the result of the DNA. Any other thing will just be a waste of Seun's nairaland data bandwidth . 3 Likes |
| Re: Urgent Advice by kaziblake(f): 3:12am On Sep 04, 2016 |
@Deafanddumb na wa o...what of your other pregnant girlfriend? |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:15am On Sep 04, 2016 |
Ishilove: I sincerely don't know any. I'll appreciate suggestions |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:17am On Sep 04, 2016 |
VikingsOO7: Thanks. I hope to raise the amount soon, though I have no idea yet, I just heard people say it's quite expensive |
| Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:18am On Sep 04, 2016 |
kaziblake: She is still pregnant 1 Like 1 Share |
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