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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. (1241 Views)
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A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Bookiemart01(f): 6:07pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
INTERNAL HOME MEMO FROM: FATHER TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES CC: MOTHER DATE: September 05, 2016 SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations Have been revised as below and under no* *circumstance is any violation going *to be accepted*. 1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from *myself upon submission of written request*. 2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be *discussed*! 3. Such food items as *rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk* are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to *me in triplicate*, with three days notice, giving justification backed by a *qualified dietician* report as supportive documentation. 4. Bathing in the morning is limited to *5 litres* of water per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are *medical reasons*. 5. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. *All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster* I shall make available shortly. 6. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. *Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.* 7. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House. 8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall immediately have to seek *temporary employment* somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s). 9. All *visitors* intending to spend a *night/week or more* shall apply in triplicate and give *two months notice*, with an endorsement from their *village Head or Church Priest*, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their *homes*. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival. THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!! Signed: DAD Chairman of Home Affairs Cc lalasticlala Infinitikoncept Ladyf Dagr8 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Davash222(m): 6:11pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Dad, we need to talk ASAP!! ![]() |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by moyakz(m): 6:17pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
what a father! |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by moyakz(m): 6:17pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
what a nigerian-father! |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Bookiemart01(f): 6:30pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by osesology(m): 6:32pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Lol! Economic recession is biting real hard.
I hope the rules are applicable to all...including himself. |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by moyakz(m): 6:37pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Bookiemart01:Hope the recession didnot reach ur side o? |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Bookiemart01(f): 6:52pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by agarawu23(m): 6:58pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
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Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by ladyF(f): 7:29pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them. This part got me rotfl! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Bookiemart01(f): 7:34pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by agarawu23(m): 7:38pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Bookiemart01:if you break the man rule, you go chop koboko ![]()
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Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Bookiemart01(f): 9:54pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
1 Like |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by moyakz(m): 10:12pm On Sep 04, 2016 |
Bookiemart01:lol.the surest thing now is to hold God tight o. |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by Noloss(f): 3:09am On Sep 05, 2016 |
My. God see us through dis hard times. Times r hard indeed. |
Re: A Father's Letter To His Family In A Recession. by IBEJULEKKILANDS(m): 6:38pm On Sep 05, 2016 |
lmao |
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