.

ok

Look, why can't u ladies for once throw away you ego and admit a fact in your entire life

You better put ur pride aside and ask for forgiveness,tell him u hv forgiven him too. If he allowed u give him a hand job then he is also into u,tell him how u truly feel n what u really want in clear terms before he moves out of ur house n life. He might still leave(u can add while he is packing dat u wud b waiting for him)but believe me he wud think abt it n d rest is in his hands.

avril9:
You better put ur pride aside and ask for forgiveness,tell him u hv forgiven him too. If he allowed u give him a hand job then he is also into u,tell him how u truly feel n what u really want in clear terms before he moves out of ur house n life. He might still leave(u can add while he is packing dat u wud b waiting for him)but believe me he wud think abt it n d rest is in his hands.

He forced it on me.
I can never tell him the true state of how I feel cos he would laugh at me.
I have also asked for forgiveness but the things that happened yesterday felt like we had crossed the rubicon.
I am just too ashamed to face him

Ask him for forgiveness for being harsh and then move on with your life. lgnore him completely in future and be polite when you meet in the same social gathering. Is hard but Time will tell...

macarena:
He forced it on me.
I can never tell him the true state of how I feel cos he would laugh at me.
I have also asked for forgiveness but the things that happened yesterday felt like we had crossed the rubicon.
I am just too ashamed to face him

y wud he laugh at u? You both need time to calm down(maybe apart) to truly forgiving n letting go of d hurtful moment before u can move on wit or without each oda. But come if u really want to hv something to do wit him den tell him even if he laughs at u,no go dey inside river make soap enter ur eye o.

hmmmm.....
Paging tearoses, efemena xy, cococandy, yetseyi, tv01, crackhaus, onegai and the rest of the gurus.


@op, your matter pass me. Maybe these guys wud help u.

You move on by taking your mind off him and the 'friendship' and by focusing on different things, people, your life, your future, your dreams.

Distraction is the key. It's hard at the beginnig but it gets easier gradually.

U ve 2 work on urself dear, with dat attitude u ve a long way 2 go. I can b troublesome tho, but nt to d extent of insulting and fighting.... I wont date u if am dat guy, Men like girls dat give dem rest of mind, unless dey just want to ve u 4 fun.

D best thing is 2 move on as u said, hang around with ur friends, gist ,laugh... and focus more on ur studies. It won't b easy tho, but with time....

Pls try and work on dat attitude

We all make mistakes.Learn from this as you move on. No point going back to re-experience him.

Change the house you once shared with him and get serious and busy with your studies and re-build your relationship with your maker.

Take to a sport you love and burn yourself out of too much energies. Hang out in fellowships and spiritually charged programmes so you interact with the right people.

Love every aspect of yourself and make gradual changes where necessary.

Wondering y a fight wud lead to a hand jobweird! Now here's the thing... U like him bt can't tell him and he may not even like u cos maybe he likes another gal and now u guys have fought.

U need to work on urself and how u let a guy know u like him without being embarrassed. Apologize if u feel u were wrong bt if he was wrong also demand for an apology also or just be d bigger person and let it slide.

You too seem to be too used to each other hence the lack of respect, you do need to give one another ample space and let things take their natural cause.what would be will be and what will never be will never be o.your troutlet is one of those things he will never be able to keep with even though he seem to love you too.settle the matter with him , be mature and apologize were necessary then be nice and mature friends.He truly has grown into you believe me,but you guys ain't. Mature to Co habit .una never reach that level yet. You both must give one another space o.the fornication Don do for now. Face your books and bury your self in it full time .with time , you all will know wethe it is love or luster! !

macarena:
We had been very close friends for over 4yrs. Even though we had our fights and quarrels, we always resolved our differences.
Fastforward to the beginning of this year, when we resumed a new semester in school. He had problems with where he was staying and moved in with me. We never discussed it, he just brought his bags and that was that.
We still had fights and quarrels complete with name-calling but we always made up. We were not dating, we were just friends.
I got jealous when he began getting really close to another girl and looked for every opportunity to lash out at him, disguising the reason I was doing so. That only pushed him further away. At a point he told me he didnt want to be friends, as is customary, I pleaded for another chance but I guess he had made up his mind this time.
Yesternight, we had the worst fight ever! I will admit I started it cos I was tired of him ignoring me.
We insulted each other's parents and said mean things to ourselves. At a point he tore my wrapper and panties, did everything to me apart from putting it in. He even forced me to give him a handjob, he's quite big and easily overpowered me.
I had to leave the house and go somewhere cos I am so ashamed of myself, we both run in the same circles and I don't know how I will ever face him.
I feel so useless, just like a piece of meat.
And the annoying thing is that I love him even though I will take that secret to the grave.
Please how do I move on?
He's an extrovert and can be the life of a gathering while Im the opposite.
How do I avoid him and not pretend it hurts that we are no longer close?
He will be moving out soon and has told me my presence won't be needed in his house. And its all my fault! My troublesome character drove him away.
To the mature people in the house, pls help!

It's not all your fault. What kind of guy forces you to give him a handjob because of a quarrel? Don't take responsibility for his bad behavior. He seems a user to me cause he knows you like him is why he moved into your house he took advantage of your obvious feelings for him even though you think you've hidden it well.

The person you need to forgive here is yourself for treating you so badly. Don't be his friends he is not a good friend. Forgive yourself, don't beat yourself up be kind and gentle with you and you'll move on quicker than you expect.

I don't even know what I'm reading on this thread.
He tore your clothes and underwear and then forced you to give him a handjob? Although one can't really tell how a forced handjob goes but You mean he sexually assaulted you?

it may be hard to forget the good times you guys had but in summary what you described sounds like it was a toxic friendship. Nobody can really tell you how to move on. Only time will take care of that.

cococandy:
I don't even know what I'm reading on this thread.
He tore your clothes and underwear and then forced you to give him a handjob? Although one can't really tell how a forced handjob goes but You mean he sexually assaulted you?

it may be hard to forget the good times you guys had but in summary what you described sounds like it was a toxic friendship. Nobody can really tell you how to move on. Only time will take care of that.

andromida:

It's not all your fault. What kind of guy forces you to give him a handjob because of a quarrel? Don't take responsibility for his bad behavior. He seems a user to me cause he knows you like him is why he moved into your house he took advantage of your obvious feelings for him even though you think you've hidden it well.
The person you need to forgive here is yourself for treating you so badly. Don't be his friends he is not a good friend. Forgive yourself, don't beat yourself up be kind and gentle with you and you'll move on quicker than you expect.

Macarena follow these.

gidjah:
You too seem to be too used to each other hence the lack of respect, you do need to give one another ample space and let things take their natural cause.what would be will be and what will never be will never be o.your troutlet is one of those things he will never be able to keep with even though he seem to love you too.settle the matter with him , be mature and apologize were necessary then be nice and mature friends.He truly has grown into you believe me,but you guys ain't. Mature to Co habit .una never reach that level yet. You both must give one another space o.the fornication Don do for now. Face your books and bury your self in it full time .with time , you all will know wethe it is love or luster! !

There was never any fornication.

cococandy:
I don't even know what I'm reading on this thread.
He tore your clothes and underwear and then forced you to give him a handjob? Although one can't really tell how a forced handjob goes but You mean he sexually assaulted you?

He's 6'2 and I am 5'2 with a petite frame. He sat on me, held my hand between his legs, pulled his boxers, poured cream on his male organ and made me stroke it.
He made attempts to put it in my mouth when I refused doing it.

Someone packed into your house without your consent?

Because of whatever you call it, he forced you to sexually pleasure him? You need to know what sexual abuse means.

Lady, you sure need to work on your self esteem.

No matter the level of quarrel, I don't think a good friend will embarrass you by tearing your clothes. Shows the content of his character and you are losing sleep over such a person.

It amazes me how some ladies think. Some things should naturally bring hatred to your heart, this action is one of them. Heck, I can't for the life of me condone such a person.

Except you guys have been having consensual sexual relationship without attachments and you can't let go. Even at that, his actions is below par.

How do you move on, you just have to move on by loving yourself and working on your self esteem.

See, your unreasonable closeness to him may have sent away responsible guys who will treat you right. I can't phantom someone asking you out when he knows you cohabit with another guy.

macarena:
There was never any fornication.He's 6'2 and I am 5'2 with a petite frame. He sat on me, held my hand between his legs, pulled his boxers, poured cream on his male organ and made me stroke it.
He made attempts to put it in my mouth when I refused doing it.

Just seeing this... If our police are reasonable, this is pure sexual abuse. He deserves to be behind bars.


In addition to my earlier rant, you need to work on your character and attractions. How on earth will friends be fighting every time. What kind of friendship have you been keeping for four years that you guys are yet to understand each other.

Being friend with you doesn't mean he should ask you out. If you have feelings find a way to express it than transferring aggression. This is how young single female lecturers victimise boys in the universities.

You obviously have need of serious work on you.

Next time someone forces his John Thomas on you, bite it extremely hard till you cut it into two like meat, afterwards, report him for sexual abuse.

You said you love someone who takes pleasure in disrespecting you and sexually abusing you. This your love, na die o. Instead of you to get him arrested for sexual assault, you're here asking how you can move on.



Warn him strictly and move on with your life, you're not losing anything, instead, you're gaining so much by moving far away from him.



Good luck.

Ia that the only thing you picked out of y advice dear sis,please go on with your life , move on keep been the friends you use to be but draw the line , show him you still care and check him out once in a while.As I said initially, you both like one another but the heat you both brewe'd needs be purchased out for now.If your relationship will go on to the next levels believe it ,it will work out its self one way or the other but you must play your part mature too.for now good grades , get closer to your creator and be good .your staying together as man and woman signifies fornication sister .but all d same I can't judge you,I did worst things (though no Co habitation sha )

macarena:
There was never any fornication.He's 6'2 and I am 5'2 with a petite frame. He sat on me, held my hand between his legs, pulled his boxers, poured cream on his male organ and made me stroke it.
He made attempts to put it in my mouth when I refused doing it.

What a toxic relationship and I am happy that its over

I think the problem started by you liking the boy but he didn't like you enough to have a relationship with. It happens in life to both sexes; no big deal about that

However what you need to do is to learn to move on when this happens, and not just stay there with the hope that he will one day reconsider you. If he wanted you, he would have made that clear from the onset, so in future if this happens please move on.

Your hanging in there and hoping is what caused your anger & you misbehaving when you saw him seeing other girls

Meanwhile This guy is a potential rapist and I don't know what you want to be doing with a guy like this
Of all the guys out there who treat women with respect and honour, its this one that you like. WHY?
What if he raped you?
What if he got you pregnant or gave you a STD during the rape?

Lady, you need to work on your self esteem and decide what you will accept and not accept from anyone otherwise you may end up getting into an abusive relationship.

Even now you are worried about what he will say when infact he is the one who sexually abused you, so he should be the one hanging his head in shame.

In saner climes, he will be behind bars by now.

Throw his things out and tell him never to come back
and you too stay away from him.

macarena:
There was never any fornication.He's 6'2 and I am 5'2 with a petite frame. He sat on me, held my hand between his legs, pulled his boxers, poured cream on his male organ and made me stroke it.
He made attempts to put it in my mouth when I refused doing it.

sorry you had to go through that. He's not a nice person and was never your friend. Friends don't sexually abuse each other. People that do that use it as tool for subjugation and intimidation. It doesn't come from a place of sexual attraction. Rather it comes from a place of darkness in that person.

As someone said up there. You also need to work on yourself I.e self esteem and communication skills.

Move on honey. You'll be alright.

I'd have said report him but I don't know if you can handle the 'he said she said' that will ensure during the investigation. As it will basically be your word against his. Wish you the best

donbenedict:
Look, why can't u ladies for once throw away you ego and admit a fact in your entire life

For where! They'd rather die!

At a point he tore my wrapper and panties, did everything to me apart from putting it in. He even forced me to give him a handjob, he's quite big and easily overpowered me.

Like i said before, everything about men is sex. This is thier basest instinct. Even those forming 'sapiosexual' (silliest word ever) It is the beginning and ending of every man's misunderstanding. The sooner ladies get to realise this, the better.

Cc bukatyne. As per that your thread.

macarena:
He forced it on me.
I can never tell him the true state of how I feel cos he would laugh at me.
I have also asked for forgiveness but the things that happened yesterday felt like we had crossed the rubicon.
I am just too ashamed to face him

What is the reason for your shame exactly? Are you ashamed cos he sexually assaulted you or cos of your feelings for him?

P. S why do you guys fight all the time? Is there a particular disagreement that keeps coming up or is it the little things?

5minsmadness:

Like i said before, everything about men is sex. This is thier basest instinct. Even those forming 'sapiosexual' (silliest word ever) It is the beginning and ending of every man's misunderstanding. The sooner ladies get to realise this, the better.

Cc bukatyne. As per that your thread.

Hmmmmmm
So you are saying that men have no self control when it comes to sex
You mean our daughters and sisters are not safe round a man
So we should be wary of male teachers, male doctors, being stopped by a male policemen on a dark night.....cos all he is thinking about will be sex
Oga 5minsmadness please give men some credit
You are making them sound like depraved animals

the irony is, there would be one guy out there dying for this pretty macarena women and choices sha

Mindfulness:
You move on by taking your mind off him and the 'friendship' and by focusing on different things, people, your life, your future, your dreams.

Distraction is the key. It's hard at the beginnig but it gets easier gradually.

I wonder what your blood pressure is in real life.

I'm not sure you read her post. If you did, then you have to agree that this is a tasteless comment. What are you really saying? That men can't help but assault people sexually because everything about you is sex?
In another context maybe one can try to see your point. But In this context where sexual assault is indicated, I don't know what meaning you expect readers to draw from this.

pls clarify.

5minsmadness:

Like i said before, everything about men is sex. This is thier basest instinct. Even those forming 'sapiosexual' (silliest word ever) It is the beginning and ending of every man's misunderstanding. The sooner ladies get to realise this, the better.

Cc bukatyne. As per that your thread.