Amelian:





Yes! Protect her. Some men are demons in human skin looking for young girls future to ruin at a tender age..Smhh.
Men are so selfish!
Thinking of their d..cks alone.
my daughter wil not be given out for marriage until her 4th year in university. she wil never be a liability,at all!
my cousin married at d age of 19years,she was in 200level, her suitor came wit sweet mouth and innocent face.his family is good but this man is so wicked. he promised she wil complete her studies and she is very brilliant in schl. after marriage he made her drop out, he then became abusive as she always complains abt completing her schl. one day, she came home cryin that shes fedup after 4yrs of marriage. wat made our family put our foot down and accept they go on separation was when

You are psychologically disturbed.

Just because you have a bad experience does not mean you should infect other happy people with your own personal misfortune.

Finally, I can see that you hate men so much, just remember that your father is also a man and that makes him selfish and all he thinks about is his dí*ck alone.

i don't see anything wrong with a girl getting married @ 20 so long she's independent. but in this case, I won't advice her to get married at that age, reason being that she's yet to gain admission and If anything goes wrong in the marriage it would b difficult for her to pick up her life, besides she'll bcome a liability to the man. The man should wait for her to get her degree and have a stable income before she gets married, if he can't wait he should go. The man shouldn't b allowed to pay for the girl's education at all, because in future he will say 'I mad u who u are today, if not for me u are nobody' .

Mosesbutez:
For a 20 years old girl to get married, is it right? .......... According the her parents, the guy came when she who just 18 years and still in secondary school but was rejected by the parents bcoz she was underaged and still in ss3 .

Then after 2 years the guy came back again and still begs the parents to marry her but she had wrote jamb this year and is still waiting for the screening and admission to commence. The only reason that guy wanted to get married to the girl is because he said that he like natural fair skin ladies, intelligent and from the same village ( home town ). He had promised her that he would take care of her education when married to her . From the parents view, the guy is from a very good home.

They asks my opinion on the matter and what I thought is that the girl has not matured enough. I hadn't reply to the parents so I seek to get information first before replying. .

The girl in question is my little sister. .. Please I need advice from married or someone that has an experience of it. .. Please

I wud have advice u but I m single n requested advice from d married. But let me over look that. Well d best age for a girl to get married is 20, 25 is medium while 30 is d highest. But y 20 might not work is that at 20 a girl might not be mature enough n when she grow up she might see her decision wrong. But there is only 1 reason or criteria. If d girl is living with her mom n Dad allow her d relationship wud grow strong but if she is living with d 2 parent please don't allow that until d girl is grown enough to make decision. Also find out if d family of those guy is in support of his decision.

jokerphilics:
Those that have built a successful career, are they married now?

Yessss

NOTHING WRONG AT ALL. BUT LET THAT GIRL BE MENTALLY AND NATURALLY MATURED HAVING UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT. YOU AS HER SISTER, SPELL OUT TO THAT MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION WITH NO SEX TIME TABLE NOR DENIERS.

Amelian:





Yes! Protect her. Some men are demons in human skin looking for young girls future to ruin at a tender age..Smhh.
Men are so selfish!
Thinking of their d..cks alone.
my daughter wil not be given out for marriage until her 4th year in university. she wil never be a liability,at all!
my cousin married at d age of 19years,she was in 200level, her suitor came wit sweet mouth and innocent face.his family is good but this man is so wicked. he promised she wil complete her studies and she is very brilliant in schl. after marriage he made her drop out, he then became abusive as she always complains abt completing her schl. one day, she came home cryin that shes fedup after 4yrs of marriage. wat made our family put our foot down and accept they go on separation was when

And you have generalized. Everybody is not like that man.

Moreover, are you saying that girls who didn't go to the university cannot get married?

What nonsense!

CaroLyner:
Yessss

BIG LIE
Nobody marries anybody simply because she has a career.

stuffs4me:


You are psychologically disturbed.

Just because you have a bad experience does not mean you should infect other happy people with your own personal misfortune.

Finally, I can see that you hate men so much, just remember that your father is also a man and that makes him selfish and all he thinks about is his dí*ck alone.

wat a myopic thinking. psychologicaly disturb indeed..smhh. definitely in yur dreams. if u like conclude, i hate men, i dont fcking care. am in a good place, so think watever u like..and also my cousin misfortune is not my misfortune. i hope simple english is not so hard 4 u 2understand

hisMrs:
i don't see anything wrong with a girl getting married @ 20 so long she's independent. but in this case, I won't advice her to get married at that age, reason being that she's yet to gain admission and If anything goes wrong in the marriage it would b difficult for her to pick up her life, besides she'll bcome a liability to the man. The man should wait for her to get her degree and have a stable income before she gets married, if he can't wait he should go. The man shouldn't b allowed to pay for the girl's education at all, because in future he will say 'I mad u who u are today, if not for me u are nobody' .

I beg to differ ma! You see, it is the duty of the parent to groom their daughter for marriage before she turns 18 years.

Also, degree is not a guarantee of success neither is it a yard stick to measure maturity. I have ladies in my M. Sc class who lack the cognitive ability to profer solutions to problems. Some of them lack the sought-after qualities in woman.

Maturity does not come with age but with acceptance of responsibilities. I've seen 18-year old girl who is more mature than another 38-year old girl.

Onyiridike:


And you have generalized. Everybody is not like that man.

Moreover, are you saying that girls who didn't go to the university cannot get married?

What nonsense!

wats this one saying??
is it so hard to read and understand?
no need wasting my time on u..*sighs *

Amelian:



wat a myopic thinking. psychologicaly disturb indeed..smhh. definitely in yur dreams. if u like conclude, i hate men, i dont fcking care. am in a good place, so think watever u like..and also my cousin misfortune is not my misfortune. i hope simple english is not so hard 4 u 2understand

Like I said before, your problem is personal. Just because you hate men does not mean other healthy and happy ladies should hate men. Your problem is your problem, don't use it to disturb the life of another happy lady that wants to get married to her suitor.

Bishops10:

my Younger sis,19 years now got married on 13th march this year.Dad called me 4 days ago she put to bed.....She's in her 300 level now


It's not about age but personality

lol.she gave birth. so? anybody can give birth. she married that man because she was pregnant. stop supporting rubbish.

My own opinion... 1. being light skinned is a very lame excuse in this present world esp. when ure trying to plead to marry a 20 yr old, there v to be something aside being light skinned.
2. Exposure is a very important factor, she hasnt gained admission yet... if he really has good intentions e can at least wait till she gains admission or probably when shez in 200l( this case is very common in universities) i bet she needs that university experience as it is very important.
3.+ d girl in question might not really know what she wants... 'All that glitters is not gold' she might be blinded or enticed by d guys personality. tho if u v to get married at 20 ur spouse to b must be very mature to balance the equation.
4. The guy has waited 2 yrs... if e really have her best interest at heart e should wait at least a yr more.

stuffs4me:


Like I said before, your problem is personal. Just because you hate men does not mean other healthy and happy ladies should hate men. Your problem is your problem, don't use it to disturb the life of another happy lady that wants to get married to her suitor.

if u like keep ranting like a mad dog.. its yur choice..

Mosesbutez:
We are capable of seeing her through her university in terms of finance even her older sister is in 300l in university but her own case is really different... My uncle, some of our relatives and some of my mum"s friends the guy begged for them to convince my mother to release the girl for him had came and advice my parents to allow the guy to marry her... That it might be God's doing.

I had really made up my mind to find a way to oppose the marriage but from some comments I saw here, I rethink and thought maybe that's how God wants it for her bcoz the guy came and when insulted and chased away but he still came back for her again , that alone puts double thought in my mind, if it was the first time for the guy to propose to her I will never and ever accept that, I don't know her future .

And what if she went to university then and she was get carried away by university guys and become deceived or become pregnant out of over enjoyment of her university previledges but God forbid!! Then we might regret ever never given the guy his chance to marry her

Besides I had asked her private if she loves the guys and she said that ever since the guys normally visit her in the shop and chatting with her on whatsapp , she has been developing love for the guy gradually.... So I had leave the matter in God's hand. ...

There is nothing wrong with a 20 year old female getting married. What is important is the level of understanding she has of what is involved in marriage. Is your sister mentally and physically ready for marriage? Also this man and your sister have not dated in order to know each other well. Compatibility is very important. Lets say your sister wants a career or wants to become somebody in life, is he the type that will support her? will he help her to fulfill her dreams just as omotola's husband is doing? Remember, we are in an era where women are meant to have a purpose in life and contribute financially and meaningfully. Life isnt just about getting married and being a baby factory. There is going to be a time your sister will reason like this which is why marriage is not to be rushed. what you thought was good for you when you were 20 will not be what you will like at 25.

Your sister developing likeness for this man is not a strong reason for her to say yes to him. How can you ask her if she loves the man when they have not gotten to know each other well? Allow these two to court themselves properly like a normal man and woman relationship should be. Your sister needs to know this man veeeerrrrry well before deciding to take such a big step as marriage. A red flag in this man is that he has A flimsy reason for wanting to marry your sister. It does not speak well of his intentions. In fact i wouldnt want to give out my daughter to a man who wants her just for her skin color. He just wants a young trophy wife. it shows he doesnt even know her enough to want to marry her. The way he is going about begging people to force that girl to marry him is suspicious. Even men who are goldiggers or abusive or with questionable characters do that so that is not a new thing my dear. Any man can beg. That proves nothing. Where is he rushing to? Why is he in a hurry?
Horrible stories are everywhere of certain advanced men who like to prey on young girls and then destroy their future. There is a reason why such men go for very young girls that are not exposed. When domestic violence is involved, the girls are helpless because their husbands refused to complete their education and no income of their own to survive. Then divorce happens and they are back to square one, All the good years they would have used to have a better future were wasted on a horrible marriage.

If you dnt want these for your sister, please dnt rush her like this kpa kpa kpa into marriage with that man. Let her get to know this man veerrrrry well. Insist that this man wait until he has proven to be a good choice for her. Even when she has gotten into school, let him continue to wait while they keep dating. You and your people dnt know this man yet. Marriage no be beans. Nobody should force that girl to marry that man.
I am using almighty God to beg you oooooooo.

You've said it all.

Sophyrocks:

There is nothing wrong with a 20 year old female getting married. What is important is the level of understanding she has of what is involved in marriage. Is your sister mentally and physically ready for marriage? Also this man and your sister have not dated in order to know each other well. Compatibility is very important. Lets say your sister wants a career or wants to become somebody in life, is he the type that will support her? will he help her to fulfill her dreams just as omotola's husband is doing? Remember, we are in an era where women are meant to have a purpose in life and contribute financially and meaningfully. Life isnt just about getting married and being a baby factory. There is going to be a time your sister will reason like this which is why marriage is not to be rushed. what you thought was good for you when you were 20 will not be what you will like at 25.

Your sister developing likeness for this man is not a strong reason for her to say yes to him. How can you ask her if she loves the man when they have not gotten to know each other well? Allow these two to court themselves properly like a normal man and woman relationship should be. Your sister needs to know this man veeeerrrrry well before deciding to take such a big step as marriage. A red flag in this man is that he has A flimsy reason for wanting to marry your sister. It does not speak well of his intentions. In fact i wouldnt want to give out my daughter to a man who wants her just for her skin color. He just wants a young trophy wife. it shows he doesnt even know her enough to want to marry her. The way he is going about begging people to force that girl to marry him is suspicious. Even men who are goldiggers or abusive or with questionable characters do that so that is not a new thing my dear. Any man can beg. That proves nothing. Where is he rushing to? Why is he in a hurry?
Horrible stories are everywhere of certain advanced men who like to prey on young girls and then destroy their future. There is a reason why such men go for very young girls that are not exposed. When domestic violence is involved, the girls are helpless because their husbands refused to complete their education and no income of their own to survive. Then divorce happens and they are back to square one, All the good years they would have used to have a better future were wasted on a horrible marriage.

If you dnt want these for your sister, please dnt rush her like this kpa kpa kpa into marriage with that man. Let her get to know this man veerrrrry well. Insist that this man wait until he has proven to be a good choice for her. Even when she has gotten into school, let him continue to wait while they keep dating. You and your people dnt know this man yet. Marriage no be beans. Nobody should force that girl to marry that man.
I am using almighty God to beg you oooooooo.

Thosinhaknow:
me learning too

THE ISSUE OF RAPE, WITHIN THE CONFINES OF MARRIAGE (how wives are being raped by husbands)

Rape occurs when sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity is forced upon an individual without his/her consent. In marriage however, it is a form of domestic violence and sexual abuse, wherein sex is forced on one spouse by the other. As strange as it sounds, rape also occurs in marriage. Any sexual activity not consented by both parties, is rape. The prominent kind of rape in marriage however is wife rape.


Rape generally is perceived not to be present in marriage, being that a woman is supposed to consensually engage in sex with her husband, making rape unnecessary. This is why despite the fact that rape in marriage has become quite rampant, it is given little or no attention from Human right activists', Criminal Justice System and even the society at large. Infact, wife rape remains one of the prevalent, yet under-reported crimes in Nigeria.


Two of the best studies so far which have investigated the general existence of wife rape in representative samples of women ( Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990) have found that between 10-14% of women who have ever been married have been raped at least once by their partner.


For the purpose of this article, we shall examine some of the intriguing issues and questions surrounding wife rape which include : Reasons men rape their wives, Why Victims refuse to report such incidents, The characteristics of wife rapists, The effects of wife rape on the victim( physically and psychologically) & on the home; and finally, What to do in case you experience such.


WHY DO MEN RAPE THEIR WIVES?

This is one of the nagging questions concerning wife rape which has been given several conflicting answers. However some of the prominent reasons given for wife rape include: To see more, visit:
HOW WIFE’S ARE BEING RAPED BY HUSBANDS. http://www.familyflex.net/2016/09/how-wifes-are-being-raped-by-husbands.html

rosalieene:
Its up to the girl
Besides 90% of guys that promise to send the girls they intend to marry to school don't. Most times, its the ladies that try as much as possible to train herself even in pregnancy.
Tell the guy to wait till she gets admission... That's if your sister really wants to settle with him. marriage is a life time contract and not what someone should rush into.

I am really worried they will eventually hand th girl over to that guy because he wants to "train" he in school.

Like WTF? If a family is well to do, I don see how he would have the audacity and temerity as his USP.

If I were the parents, that alone is an insult!

I wish I could have my way to see the parents and advice them well. If anything happens to her in that marriage, she will never forgive her parents and brother.

CaroLyner:
Yessss

How many?
Use d celeb as example, how many is married. The way dem dey luk for husband ehn u go dey surprised but they are no showing it physically.

blesoh:

I got Married three month to my 20th birthday, 6yrs down the line we are still much in love, if your sister is matured why not? Remember ladies marry at 39 still divorce the next month, if she understands her man and the man understand her too then they are good to go. My 2cent.

Most reasonable comment since ....

Weldone dear

ireneidiva:

lol.she gave birth. so? anybody can give birth. she married that man because she was pregnant. stop supporting rubbish.

And stop talking rubbish......don't say what you don't know
we've known the guy for close to two years now.

Bishops10:

And stop talking rubbish......don't say what you don't know
we've known the guy for close to two years now.

you married your pregnant 19 year old sister off period. That is not an achievement. i wonder whi asked you how long you knew him.

Bishops10:

And stop talking rubbish......don't say what you don't know
we've known the guy for close to two years now.

you married your pregnant 19 year old sister off period. That is not an achievement. i wonder who asked you how long you knew him.

Mosesbutez:
We are capable of seeing her through her university in terms of finance even her older sister is in 300l in university but her own case is really different... My uncle, some of our relatives and some of my mum"s friends the guy begged for them to convince my mother to release the girl for him had came and advice my parents to allow the guy to marry her... That it might be God's doing.

I had really made up my mind to find a way to oppose the marriage but from some comments I saw here, I rethink and thought maybe that's how God wants it for her bcoz the guy came and when insulted and chased away but he still came back for her again , that alone puts double thought in my mind, if it was the first time for the guy to propose to her I will never and ever accept that, I don't know her future .

And what if she went to university then and she was get carried away by university guys and become deceived or become pregnant out of over enjoyment of her university previledges but God forbid!! Then we might regret ever never given the guy his chance to marry her

Besides I had asked her private if she loves the guys and she said that ever since the guys normally visit her in the shop and chatting with her on whatsapp , she has been developing love for the guy gradually.... So I had leave the matter in God's hand. ...

Marriage isn't entirely about love. She is learning to love him means she didn't initially, his constant visits and chats are enough to make her develop love plus sweet talks and gifts. Her answer shows she is immature. Pls let her wait a little more, his presence is choking her to accept. Let her gain admission first, at least for the first two years to makeup her mind. That guy is pressurizing her to accept his proposal.

cococandy:
You've said it all.

Thanks dear. How you doing?

ubiR:
Marriage isn't entirely about love. She is learning to love him means she didn't initially, his constant visits and chats are enough to make her develop love plus sweet talks and gifts. Her answer shows she is immature. Pls let her wait a little more, his presence is choking her to accept. Let her gain admission first, at least for the first two years to makeup her mind. That guy is pressurizing her to accept his proposal.

Exactly! What kind of man goes about trying to win all her family's favor without necessarily getting to know the girl well to see if she will even be a good wife to him? what sort of desperation is that? The way he is going about it is fishy. I dnt think he is mentally balanced. This is how abusive men start. The man is the type that is forceful in his demands which makes me think he could be abusive. That girl has to be careful. There are women who can testify that such men were this all over them in the begining but after marriage they turned out to be something else.

Mosesbutez:
We are capable of seeing her through her university in terms of finance even her older sister is in 300l in university but her own case is really different... My uncle, some of our relatives and some of my mum"s friends the guy begged for them to convince my mother to release the girl for him had came and advice my parents to allow the guy to marry her... That it might be God's doing.

I had really made up my mind to find a way to oppose the marriage but from some comments I saw here, I rethink and thought maybe that's how God wants it for her bcoz the guy came and when insulted and chased away but he still came back for her again , that alone puts double thought in my mind, if it was the first time for the guy to propose to her I will never and ever accept that, I don't know her future .

And what if she went to university then and she was get carried away by university guys and become deceived or become pregnant out of over enjoyment of her university previledges but God forbid!! Then we might regret ever never given the guy his chance to marry her

Besides I had asked her private if she loves the guys and she said that ever since the guys normally visit her in the shop and chatting with her on whatsapp , she has been developing love for the guy gradually.... So I had leave the matter in God's hand. ...

l




The op himself do not want his sister to further her education, what a pity
Cos he feels she might get impregnanted by boys...
Op if your sister is given the right training and she won't end up getting pregnant in school by a random guy. But if cutting off her education is what everyone in the family is contemplating on, feeling it's the best choice for her? Then go ahead ... No need seeking advice from us again.. But remember if it backfires , and d man shows his true colors afterwards, your sister will never forgive everyone in her family for leading her astray..

Sophyrocks:

Thanks dear. How you doing?

I'm good. Thanks:

.

Onyiridike:


I beg to differ ma! You see, it is the duty of the parent to groom their daughter for marriage before she turns 18 years.

Also, degree is not a guarantee of success neither is it a yard stick to measure maturity. I have ladies in my M. Sc class who lack the cognitive ability to profer solutions to problems. Some of them lack the sought-after qualities in woman.

Maturity does not come with age but with acceptance of responsibilities. I've seen 18-year old girl who is more mature than another 38-year old girl.

You probably did not get me right. like i earlier said that i do not see anything wrong with getting married at the age of 20. i have friends who got married earlier than that. i never said education is a base for success or age is a measure of maturity NO!!! What i am saying is that, with the present mindset that Nigerian men have, it is better to secure their child's future the best way they can and education is one of that.

not every woman can manage education and marriage especially when kids are involved. I would only say she's young and she should be given opportunity to explore life, except the marriage is of her free will

Mosesbutez:
For a 20 years old girl to get married, is it right? .......... According the her parents, the guy came when she who just 18 years and still in secondary school but was rejected by the parents bcoz she was underaged and still in ss3 .

Then after 2 years the guy came back again and still begs the parents to marry her but she had wrote jamb this year and is still waiting for the screening and admission to commence. The only reason that guy wanted to get married to the girl is because he said that he like natural fair skin ladies, intelligent and from the same village ( home town ). He had promised her that he would take care of her education when married to her . From the parents view, the guy is from a very good home.

They asks my opinion on the matter and what I thought is that the girl has not matured enough. I hadn't reply to the parents so I seek to get information first before replying. .

The girl in question is my little sister. .. Please I need advice from married or someone that has an experience of it. .. Please

Did your sister finally get married to the guy ?