EngrWanted:
With the torrent of support advices I received in the last thread, I am compelled to put up this one and sincerely need your contributions to take the best decision.
I dated a lady for three years while she was in the medical school in a private University and at the time I was taking care of her tuition and other sundry elements not forgetting we were live in lovers during school recession and when she finally graduated. I've even visited her parents for a light introduction on her insistence cos according to her 2 other gentlemen living in US and UK are equally coming for her hand in marriage.
I discovered that her mother is favourably disposed to the American guy because he's a referral from his younger brother who also live in USA. But the lady in question loves me and didn't want to yield to her parents advice particularly her mother who I believe is doing so for material benefits.
The problem is we fixed a date to carry out a light traditional ceremony where both families were fully present including her kinsmen, call it a mini traditional marriage and when the ceremony was coming to an end, my woman dad stood up and start giving me "conditions" in the presence of everyone. The conditions includes :
1. I'll allow their daughter continue her education in USA which expenses will be sponsored by her uncle staying in Lagos.
2. They'll never attend any marriage ceremony held in any church except Catholic Church
3. I must never lay hand on my wife.
After he made the pronunciation, the most elder man in their family stood up and reprimand him. Caution him and indeed it was really a warning as the old man told him he cannot decide for another man how to run his family.
After the episode I decided to put further marriage arrangements on hold and months past I asked her to look for another man. The fact is I am not comfortable marrying into her family again but this girl has been calling giving unending excuses for her parent.
Should I continue facing front or I should give the marriage a shot?
Thanks

EfemenaXY:
I honestly don't get what the issue is.



Your lady / fiancée is a medical graduate and it's only normal that she'll want to further her studies in her field, albeit in the U.S.A. Her uncle will be footing the bill so that eases the pressure off you. So what's your problem with that? Pride? Can you afford to shoulder that responsibility 100% or is it that you don't want her to further her studies at all, because what? You're insecure? Is that what the real issue is? If it is, then I'm sorry, you're what we call a dream killer husband.

Re: wedding in the Catholic Church, her parents do have a point. One of the seven sacraments undertaken by Catholics is a promise and comittment to wed in the Catholic Church and bring up their kids as Catholics. Additionally, for a marriage between a catholic and non-catholic to take place in the Catholic Church, you the non-Catholic will be expected to 'convert'. i.e get baptised, receive holy communion, and be confirmed in the Catholic Church.

You may not like this, and you certainly don't have to do any of these, but that's just the way it is. If you love her enough, it's a sacrifice you'll just have to make unless of course she's open to switching over, and from what you've written, that seems unlikely given her family background of staunch Catholics. But either way, it's a good thing you bring this up now and thrash out your differences because this issue will certainly rear it's head again when you start having kids, and decisions will have to be made on where they'll worship. So it's better you have those uncomfortable discussions now, rather than later.

Re: your third point, is that an issue with you?

Really?

EfemenaXY:
I honestly don't get what the issue is.

Your lady / fiancée is a medical graduate and it's only normal that she'll want to further her studies in her field, albeit in the U.S.A. Her uncle will be footing the bill so that eases the pressure off you. So what's your problem with that? Pride? Can you afford to shoulder that responsibility 100% or is it that you don't want her to further her studies at all, because what? You're insecure? Is that what the real issue is? If it is, then I'm sorry, you're what we call a dream killer husband.

Re: wedding in the Catholic Church, her parents do have a point. One of the seven sacraments undertaken by Catholics is a promise and comittment to wed in the Catholic Church and bring up their kids as Catholics. Additionally, for a marriage between a catholic and non-catholic to take place in the Catholic Church, you the non-Catholic will be expected to 'convert'. i.e get baptised, receive holy communion, and be confirmed in the Catholic Church.

You may not like this, and you certainly don't have to do any of these, but that's just the way it is. If you love her enough, it's a sacrifice you'll just have to make unless of course she's open to switching over, and from what you've written, that seems unlikely given her family background of staunch Catholics. But either way, it's a good thing you bring this up now and thrash out your differences because this issue will certainly rear it's head again when you start having kids, and decisions will have to be made on where they'll worship. So it's better you have those uncomfortable discussions now, rather than later.

Re: your third point, is that an issue with you?

Really?

thorpido:
There's no issue here oga.
You knew she's a catholic from the beginning.Catholics prefer to wed in their churches and you need to go through the marriage requiremens too in the church.You should have been prepared for that.
I don't see any issue with an uncle sponsoring your fiance's education after marriage as long as he's not a sugar daddy.
The issue of not laying your hands on her should not even be a point.

Go ahead as long as you are sure of your fiancee's love and commitment.

joseph1832:
If you don't see any issue in an uncle sponsoring a man's wife in her education, then you shouldn't see any issue if that uncle start fucking_ her.

TheArchangel:
Nnaaa eh Your mind is warped. The uncle is now a sugar daddy ba, wtf??

joseph1832:
Ya ne, You lack the ability to think critically, I hope you know "uncle" doesn't necessarily mean, uncle sometimes?

TheArchangel:
You do also lack critical thinking abilities. Uncle means uncle unless otherwise stated.

joseph1832:
This is why you lack depth and critical thinking ability. Believing there's always one side of a coin.

TheArchangel:
What are we even discussing here cos I fail to understand your disses.

joseph1832:
If you don't see any issue in an uncle sponsoring a man's wife in her education, then you shouldn't see any issue if that uncle start fucking_ her.

Cutehector:
Total bullshitt. Pls she should find another catholic to get married.



Engrwanted pls look for another girl to marry. Her family cannot come and dictate to you. As if her mum's parents dictated to her father on how to marry her mum.
Bia, what's the issue here now the man didn't say anything wrong. The only ish was how he addressed his son in-law.
Don't beat my daughter-------- that's not a crime biko.

The wedding should take place in Catholic church---------- wedding takes place in bride's church nah.

Uncle sponsoring her education------ if he's not okay with that, he should pay himself Or she shouldn't further her education nii

joseph1832:
Shouldn't you have thought of that before you show you're a slave to your emotion?

thorpido:
How many uncles sleep with their nieces guy?

TheArchangel:
you must be in your andropause or something

joseph1832:
You'd be amazed.

Like you're in menopause, right?

Marvellous.

TheArchangel:
yeah right?
Awesome

joseph1832:

TheArchangel: