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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent (26274 Views)
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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by possibilita(m): 7:19pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Creamish:is that y he wants to campaign and make those single mothers also single grannies n hence single great grannies. |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by abimic(m): 7:21pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
cindyrocks:Don't be too sure of Annie's, only the end justifies the means, though I'm not ready to enter into a circled discussion where conclusion isn't in sight but the op has a point, though can't be the yardstick for all raised by single mothers. Davido's mother is late, from my perception of him, he looks arrogant and rude. Well, I know of a lady in her late twenties where i stay here who still lives with her single hardworking, dedicated mother, her mother no doubt is a quintessential for many women out there but I feared she would end up her mother's way. Her mother is a divorcee though. So we can't totally rule out op's vantage point, though not a basis. |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by apache77(m): 7:23pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: spot on. i married my ex wife only 3yrs ago.last month we were divorced, in court! why? i still dont knw. i dated her for 7yrs married her for 2, seprated for one. she decided to end the marriage for very flimsy reasons..which to this day, i dnt knw. shes 29,her dad died when she was 9,and her mother raised her alone for the next 17yrs before i married her. the mother disnt raise a finger to discourage her daughter from ending the marriage, seemed to even to support her. e when i was trying to resolve the matter sometime last year so it doewnt get to divorce..she famously told me: i shd loom at her very well, shes not one of those girls desperate to remain in a mans house. i guessed she had grown up seeing her mother riase her alone 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:23pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Demigods666:See the name sef? 666! Hmmm. Hope you aren't the devil himself? ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by mikool007(m): 7:23pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Pls listen to yourselves, do u tink pple choose hw many parents raise dem and evn so you mean we should totally condemn all of dem? For writing this type of article, it means you hv sm serious issues ur self and other pple should stay clear frm you....be wise;you can advice nt condemn 4 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:31pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by enny4real23(m): 7:33pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: dude whats all these nonsense about the mother 'taking the easy way out' that's a very narrow minded point of view, you are making assumptions that when a marriage fails, its usually because the wife refuse to make it work, you know a marriage is between two people right? the husband also need to put an effort into it. also, your point of view about never marrying a girl from a broken home is foolish at best, don't you think that that girl would have learned one or two things from her parents failed marriage? that's very immature. moreso, are you saying women should stay in their marriages no matter how miserable they are in the marriage? I'm very sure you are not a psychologist so don't make ridiculous speculations here. I also think you are psychologically unstable for having this kind of old world way of thinking ...... .no offense intended. 9 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:37pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
African perception*, ![]() 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:44pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Aderola15: Thanks for the compliment. ![]() However, I'd still say it's a risky proposition. The truth is people raised in single parent homes tend to subconsciously model their lives in relation to their upbringing. Many of the problems they face in their own marriages are directly connected to their upbringing. Many are too independent of their spouses or too dependent on them, the former usually to protect themselves from being a victim of the "crime" their custodial parent suffered, the latter usually to feel the void left by the absentee parent. The key is that they have the required appreciation for the marriage institution and actually learn what it takes to me a marriage work. Not everyone will marry someone they are compatible with, therefore, one would have to take the difficult path in understanding their partner and communicating with their partner that they are also understood by them. In such situations, someone who grew up without either or both parents might very well not be inclined to tough it out, choosing divorce, the easier, more familiar path. So, if Grandma teaches her grandchild how to make and keep a home or this person gets to learn themselves, then there is more than hope, otherwise it could very well be more of the same. Nobody is saying children from such situations are bad people, they just don't want their kids mixed up with someone who could be bad for them. Sorry, it's too long. ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Koolking(m): 7:46pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
SamOgasco: Which God intervene...? Must every issue be religionised? I weep for your warped mentality. Your subjective judgement though...it's understandable. So, you still accept the flawed notion that women who are raised by both parents are angels and marriage-able, while single-parent brought up and of course orphans are the devils not to be associated with? In fact, I got no words for you. Believe on, it's your choice. Unfortunately for me, am not the type to be shaped by individual and group opinions. I make and choose my own believes. 4 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 7:47pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
prettyzee11: 1 Like
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Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by eyinjuege: 7:51pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Abeg, what of men raised by single mothers? Are they also not marriageable? 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by eyinjuege: 7:58pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: Nothing emotional about all she's written. More like a more balanced stand.. Pls what are your submissions on the questions she asked? 5 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Dfinex(f): 7:59pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
twinklestar: I dey tey u ee. ....see finishing, lolsss. |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by NobleG1(m): 8:01pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: It seems your uncle is an illiterate or completely nuts! His reasons are totally absurd and illogical! His mentality is horrible. What your dumb uncle is saying is that every woman behaves and does exactly what their mother did in life, which is totally false. Haven't he seen a man or woman who came from a very good home, whose parents are still together but he or she turns out to be terrible? There are people who come from bad families but they turn out to be great people! There are orphans who are great people today. Being a single mother is not a crime. That a mother is single doesn't necessarily mean it was her fault her relationship didn't last. What would your uncle say about a woman who was raised by a single father? What would he say about a woman who was raised by her mother and step-father? Take him to see a psychiatric. And please, send him the url of this thread to read. 7 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Creamish(f): 8:11pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: I don't need to tell u about the real life experience I have of a single mother who raised her kids right. My ish wit u is ur need to write off the good ones just cos of the few bad ones. 3 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Creamish(f): 8:13pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
NobleG1: I just tire o.. He has refused to see the other side of the coin.. 3 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by khristal87(m): 8:19pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
niggi4life:U said 90% like let m guess,,,,,,, na wao bros, u ve seen alot |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Creamish(f): 8:22pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
CuteMorriz: ....Seems u have selective understanding. Of course there are those who the parents try to raise right but end up wayward..it exists in all families..whether single parents or both parents. There are also daughters who grow up respectful under the tutelage of her single mom or dad or both parents. Why are u hellbent on pinning it on single moms alone? Nwayz... U can stay away from them. It does not guarantee u a long lasting marriage as it is not d sole determinant of a healthy marriage. Whatever rocks ur boat. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Shym3xx: 8:32pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Let me quickly add a disclaimer to my posts. ![]() I only posted in support of children who were raised by single parents cos I've got loads of them as friends and acquaintances. And I don't see anything wrong with them. However, I'm not in support of the lifestyle that got them there. A lot of chics out there these days are just making babies like dogs and they make terrible choices in partners. And you've got a lot of crazy women who chased their partners away. So, I do not support these psychos. I can't really say anything about single dads cos I don't think I've ever met anyone raised by a single dad (I'm sure they're out there). And I believe that's only possible if the mum is either dead or unfit physically to raise kids. Ditto mums who became single parents by virtue of their partners' death, or absentee dead beat dads. If you're a LovePeddler and by virtue of slanging ya pum everywhere, you became a single mum - or you're a psycho who keeps getting pregnant for all kinds of men, while chasing them away. Fix up. ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 8:35pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
All of you asking "what about boys raised by single mothers?" Well, just take a look at the prison population or the literal horde of agberos in Lagos and the south west. ![]() How come there aren't such corresponding number of petty, low life criminals in the south East? Because marriages in the SE last longer on the average. The break down of the family unit is a problem on society. I know the ladies are all emotional because of the one-sided nature of the title but, it is what it is. Shalom. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Mafio: 8:47pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
That's why is always good to let ur childrens father be in contact with them. No matter what happen . op I have seen a situation guys raise by single mum turn up worse. They married, have kids that they will not even care about. All they sing is "my mother raise me and my siblings alone so u can also raise ur children alone, my mum do it so can u. They so on having kids all over.. |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by aylagos(m): 8:57pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
This is so so true you will understand the op only if you hav experienced such lady. My girl is just like that she is quick to judge me in every situations and has this mentality that all men are bad and she will not take nonsense from anyone that will be her husband am even worry |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by SirVintageCock: 9:03pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Timbuktou:I'd say the literal hordes of the agberos is due to the polygamous marriages being practiced in the southwest. Families are not that close knitted compared to what is obtainable in monogamous union as fathers tends to have divided attention in discharging their fatherly roles amidst the chaos and throes of polygamy especially if there is no love lost between the parents. Single parenthood is the resultant effects of men and women's actions and inactions and it is quite disheartening that the op had to portray the main victims in this case the children in a bad taste on a situation they had no control over 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 9:08pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Shym3xx: I hope you do realize that it takes two make a baby. Also a woman can get pregnant the first time, so your premise that some of the single mothers are "love peddlers" is totally wrong. If that is the case what would you call the men? 2 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 9:09pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
aylagos: Since you are worried please call off the relationship and stop wasting her time. You are blocking her from meeting her rightful partner. 4 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 9:12pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
razortruth: What did your brother do? When a woman has had enough, no amount of begging will make her change her mind. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by aylagos(m): 9:20pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Nancy2016:u don't have clue |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by 247Potential: 9:20pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
Okay Boss.. I keyed into your reasoning ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nancy2016: 9:24pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
EmpresFIDEL: majority of girls raised by both parents are even more wayward: This is not true. While I don't agree with the OP, I think this statement is totally false. Families where there are both parents tend to have a higher income than single-parent families. Therefore, the children tend to have a greater allowance and thus lesser need to sell their bodies. Also there is a likelihood that discipline will be tighter due to both parents sharing responsibilities. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Nobody: 9:37pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
SirVintageCock: Polygamous homes, single parents homes(especially single mother homes) have the distinct feature of a usually absentee father, hence, children are left worse off. Not to say all single parent or polygamous homes are guilty for suppplying society with deviants, but they do supply the most and disproportionately too. Prostitutes and criminals are more likely to come from such arrangements where there is no strong father figure. 70℅ of prison inmates in Nigeria are products of fatherlessness. Feel free to look it up. Having said that, victims of these situations do not have any right to demand that others overlook what could be considered possible effects of their flawed upbringing. People have the right to consider if the person they want to "live the rest of their life with" will go the whole way or drop out like mummy or daddy did, or that the causes for the split of their parents will not rear their heads up in their own marriage. I, for one, would strongly counsel my children to stay away from such people. If they are adamant, they must make sure there are no lingering after effects or carried over sleeper bombs (hopefully). You can't come and tell me a couple of years later that, you were wrong. Nobody wants their children to choose a damaged spouse or see their children go through a divorce. 2 Likes |
Re: Why You Shouldn't Marry A Lady Raised By A Single Parent by Mhizzibah(f): 9:45pm On Sep 26, 2016 |
PaperLace: you're so on point ma'am. |
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