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Parental Pressure To Give - Family - Nairaland

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Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 6:24am On Sep 27, 2016
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Omoabejide(f): 6:31am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?
But they are your parent, they need more from you. you have to try all your best to take care of them now that they are still alive. Remember all the sacrifice they made before you become a man. God bless you richly bro
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Florblu(f): 6:46am On Sep 27, 2016
If you can complain about giving your parent money,what if the request is coming from your girlfriend/wife?
If you don't believe in the practice of giving your parent money then who do you believe in giving your money to?
Some people can be so *lips sealed *Anyways! may I never have a son like you.

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 6:49am On Sep 27, 2016
Omoabejide:

But they are your parent, they need more from you. you have to try all your best to take care of them now that they are still alive. Remember all the sacrifice they made before you become a man. God bless you richly bro
You honestly don't understand my parents.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 6:50am On Sep 27, 2016
Florblu:
If you can complain about giving your parent money,what if the request is coming from your girlfriend/wife?
If you don't believe in the practice of giving your parent money then who do you believe in giving your money to?
Some people can be so *lips sealed *Anyways! may I never have a son like you.
Thank you all the same.

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 7:05am On Sep 27, 2016
Are you living with them


If no, then just pay the money like salaries. You get? You can make it the beginning of the month, the middle or the end of the month. Just make sure they receive from you.


The economy is hard oo.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 7:13am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?
you can't make them understand undecided....give if you want to give, if you don't want to give don't give. Is it by force? After all it's your money and you have more responsibilities to take care of smiley
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by PresVA: 8:03am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?
@bolded, really?
Parents raise their kids hoping they take care of them at old age and here you're thinking they deserve nothing?
If you don't give your parents, who are you going to give if I may ask?
If you don't take care of them now, is it when they're gone?
Will you also tell your kids same?


Or maybe i don't understand you; What are the "ridiculous demands" they make if you don't mind??

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Acheron: 8:18am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?
Are you for real?

After what your parents did to give you education, you find the thought of giving them money repugnant? Many a times your parents wished to go on vacation, buy a new car, invest in properties but they couldn't because they'd rather spend the money on you. Sometimes, your parents would love to buy new clothes, a fancy shoe, eat shawarma but they'd rather drink garri just so you can eat healthy, wear new uniforms and buy new school bags just like your mates and yet you don't believe in giving them money?

Do you know how huge your parents dream was and how you made them drop all these dreams just so you can fulfil your own dreams? Now you're living the dream and you think their demand is too much. Smh

Chei, it's because of kids like you my dad used to say "I'm not waiting on any child to take care of me in old age. If you do, fine, if you don't, fine. What I will eat in old age, I'm working on it".

Na your life sha but know this, whatever you do to your parents, brother Karma dey one side dey look you.

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 8:37am On Sep 27, 2016
Iamhatey:
Are you living with them


If no, then just pay the money like salaries. You get? You can make it the beginning of the month, the middle or the end of the month. Just make sure they receive from you.


The economy is hard oo.
No, I'm not living with them. I do the salary thing, but some other demands come in between every now and then. Evidently, the salary thing simply isn't working.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Okijajuju1(m): 8:43am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?


You can't give what you don't have. #Period.

If your income is 30,000 Naira a month and your parents are demanding 30,000 Naira every month, you can't afford that.

Ideally, parents should never be in a position to be collecting money from their kids if they made proper plans for their old age life, but that not withstanding, give your parents what you can afford, explain things to them to manage as even you are struggling under your own personal financial burden. Promise them that as things get better, you would increase what you send back to them.

Thats all.

The gods are wise..

4 Likes

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 9:00am On Sep 27, 2016
kiss
Okijajuju1:



You can't give what you don't have. #Period.

If your income is 30,000 Naira a month and your parents are demanding 30,000 Naira every month, you can't afford that.

Ideally, parents should never be in a position to be collecting money from their kids if they made proper plans for their old age life, but that not withstanding, give your parents what you can afford, explain things to them to manage as even you are struggling under your own personal financial burden. Promise them that as things get better, you would increase what you send back to them.

Thats all.

The gods are wise..
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by doveda: 9:05am On Sep 27, 2016
He didn't ask them to put their dreams on hold. They were the one who decided to have kids!!!....duhundecided

However I disagree with him on not giving to parents. He should give when he can afford it and not ruin him financially. I don't think there is any kids out there who will fold his hands s while his parents beg to eat or live comfortably when he can afford to give them a better life.

Parents should also learn to invest in their future. It does any mean that their kids would be ungrateful but it would reduce the emotional and financial pressure from their kids and also save them from a lot of worries.


Acheron:

Are you for real?

After what your parents did to give you education, you find the thought of giving them money repugnant? Many a times your parents wished to go on vacation, buy a new car, invest in properties but they couldn't because they'd rather spend the money on you. Sometimes, your parents would love to buy new clothes, a fancy shoe, eat shawarma but they'd rather drink garri just so you can eat healthy, wear new uniforms and buy new school bags just like your mates and yet you don't believe in giving them money?

Do you know how huge your parents dream was and how you made them drop all these dreams just so you can fulfil your own dreams? Now you're living the dream and you think their demand is too much. Smh

Chei, it's because of kids like you my dad used to say "I'm not waiting on any child to take care of me in old age. If you do, fine, if you don't, fine. What I will eat in old age, I'm working on it".

Na your life sha but know this, whatever you do to your parents, brother Karma dey one side dey look you.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by doveda: 9:08am On Sep 27, 2016
Give them what you can afford. Don't let their demands put your life on hold. Parents will always demand, learn to endure it and be considerate about their demands.

bicmitchum:

You honestly don't understand my parents.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 9:16am On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:

No, I'm not living with them. I do the salary thing, but some other demands come in between every now and then. Evidently, the salary thing simply isn't working.
ohps

They are your parents, time to make them understand some things.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 9:23am On Sep 27, 2016
doveda:
He didn't ask them to put their dreams on hold. They were the one who decided to have kids!!!....duhundecided


I was going to say this, but stopped at the risk of appearing rude. Thanks for saying it for me.
And yes, I do give them. But it'd have been better if they made better decisions during their boom days when they had some money.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by doveda: 9:28am On Sep 27, 2016
Well they didn't, it is going to be one of their mistakes you must learn from. You are stuck, do your best and don't judge them.


bicmitchum:

I was going to say this, but stopped at the risk of appearing rude. Thanks for saying it for me.
And yes, I do give them. But it'd have been better if they made better decisions during their boom days when they had some money.
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Richy4(m): 10:31am On Sep 27, 2016
The statement u made about your believe made me doubt if u actually give to your parent as u claimed...

Dear you were born in a wrong country. next time insist that your maker send u to US, UK or Canada... where the kids dump their parents at old folk homes..

Africans and some Asians countries do take care of their parents at old age...They took care of u when u were young no complain, no questions asked on why they should do that....I am just wondering why u were asking....
Re: Parental Pressure To Give by eyinjuege: 12:09pm On Sep 27, 2016
My dear, you cannot comman keel ya self.

You cannot do more than your power.

Make sure you buy foodstuff every month for them, and give them some money to hold depending on what you can afford.

Do they expect you to go and steal to meet their demands?

Let's not deceive ourselves, everyone should plan for their retirement, and not rely on their children, because reality is the children may grow up and not be that financially buoyant.
You also have your own life to plan, and you need money to do that.
I'm sure you intend to also raise your own family.

Just make sure they have food, and somewhere they live. I'd you can't afford any additional thing, then so be it. I also hope you have siblings that can contribute because it eases the burden on only one person.

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by Nobody: 12:38pm On Sep 27, 2016
@bicmitchum

You don't bring such question here.You handle it personally .

But

Everyone seems to hate you ..One even said not to have a kid like U.

Over 30 people comment on this thread..repelling you..

Am sure 70% of people commenting don/t give per month as you do to there parent .

It very rare to see a child who remembers his parent at this economy recession talkless of everymonth.

But look at them castigating you.

Few years ago.I bought a house over 50M for my parent and annual rental of 2.5M ...Not withstanding other expenses they jokingly bring to you.

This didnt stop or lower there request at all.

My advice to you.Try your best for them.But remember if you get broke they will switch to the next child and all you will have to say are just STORIES of how u were helping in the past.

Many people learnt this the hard way.

1 Like

Re: Parental Pressure To Give by shams040(m): 1:53pm On Sep 27, 2016
bicmitchum:
I work and usually I give to my parents. Even though I'm not the type that believes parents should even be collecting anything from their children at all, I try my best to do my part.
But it's getting increasingly difficult lately and really tearing into me. Expenses are mounting, but my parents are still insisting on ridiculous demands. Each time I try to let them understand, they take it that I am not compassionate enough. How can I make them understand that they need to demand less?

U must b stupid and crazy, who brot u to Dis lyf?, who sent u to skl? If ur parent cnt demand den who will.

I putty ur old age. Law of kama wld soon come. Oloshi

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