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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? (26310 Views)
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Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by soonest(f): 4:42pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
Timbuktou:No. Not cool at all missjo: joseph1832:Yes consistent. A one off slap can be forgiven but when I see he's hell bent on being a beast, I will find the door myself. |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by joseph1832(m): 4:44pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
soonest:A one off slap is usually the preamble needed in letting you know you're dealing with a beast. |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by RiloKiley: 6:04pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
joseph1832: False and unrealistic. Anyone can be provoked to the wall to give a one off slap. This holds true for the male or female species. A persistent repitition indicates abuse. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by joseph1832(m): 6:29pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
RiloKiley:Abuse is often times misinterpreted when it happens once. Any man who raise his hands to slap a woman have the potential to beat her up. Just like being provoked doesn't give any man the reason to slap a woman, especially if they're married. There are other options... |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by RiloKiley: 7:05pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
joseph1832: Whether married or not, there are always other options to violence. But these situations occur at a time of great anger and irrationality, especially when the man has been provoked and pushed to the wall. All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked. The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned. The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by joseph1832(m): 10:37pm On Sep 30, 2016 |
RiloKiley:Yes I agree there are options to violence, one of them is walking away. All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked.Wrong! Not all men have the potential to beat up a woman, don't forget there are some women who can beat up some men. For example, put mynd44 along side Cynthia RothRock and tell me if she wouldn't kick his ass back to back. ![]() The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned.No doubt, but what happens when the women continues quarrelling or she grabs hold of the man's shirt or even return the slap back? The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives.Agreed. |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 5:54pm On Oct 01, 2016 |
missjo:Love the bible me. Untrammelled - and often unpalatable - truth ![]() ![]() Can't rightly tell if you are after a discussion, fight or just looking to score cheap points. Any which way, I can't say I really give a toss, you haven't shown you possess the heft. TV |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 6:08pm On Oct 01, 2016 |
RiloKiley:Some much needed nuance to this discussion. But I doubt it will be appreciated. The feminist hordes and their ideologically transgenderd enablers are after divorce at will. No-fault divorce is already here legally, they are just trying to force the message home socially, and ensure it's embedded into all belief systems. Like abortion really. Abortion was in case of rape or threat to the mothers life. These two reasons account for an almost negligible number of abortions, and the real push is for abortion on demand - at any point and for any reason. Here they cite cases of serious physical abuse or death as examples, then make abuse itself the justifier, abuse without any real or objective definition - i.e. based on what the woman feels. Soon, if you can't afford a walk in wardrobe full of designer bags for your wife, abuse will be cited and divorce justified ![]() ![]() TV 1 Like |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Sparklequeen(f): 8:50pm On Oct 01, 2016 |
TV01: what of domestic abuse? and if someone doesn't have money to file for a divorce, what is her Fate or another option? |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 9:48pm On Oct 01, 2016 |
Sparklequeen:If abuse - as opposed to low level conflict - occurs in a marriage, spouses should seek immediate resolution. Even low level conflict should not be a feature of a healthy marriage, let alone a christian one. Love & submission. How hard is that ![]() If abuse is escalating or serious, endangered party should seek to remove themselves from the situation, seek the right help, and if necessary remain separated for their well-being, until such time as the situation is resolved. Divorce does not save one from abuse, it can take years to process a divorce. Lots of domestic, indeed more domestic abuse occurs between "unmarried couples". Domestic abuse is not an inherent feature of marriage. If after all efforts a resolution to effect reconciliation cannot be found, you can remain separated, but you cannot remarry. Christian marriage is until death do part. Any subsequent "union" whilst the spouse is still alive is adultery. I know huh? Shine eye, look well, choose wisely and enter the institution with the requisite sobriety. Christianity is not for flakes, marriage is not for the faint-hearted. ![]() TV 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by soonest(f): 1:54pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
TV01: Is this topic about feminism? Are those wanting out because of spousal abuse also feminist. @ the bolded, ain't you trying to be smart? You know the abuse being discussed in this thread is physical abuse so I don't get where this is coming from. Except you are unto something else. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Acheron: 3:23pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
soonest:There is no scientific proof of what's written in your profile picture anywhere. It's just pure fallacy and I'm sure you know it. It's funny though. |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by missjo(f): 5:47pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
TV01:It was a simple question,but now that I see you going on the defensive and finding a way to still talk down on me before getting to type 50 complete words, is just sad to be honest. Again I ask,is this the Christian way? 1 Like |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 8:38pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
soonest:If I wish to introduce feminism, I am free to do so. Likewise, you are free to ignore or refute ![]() soonest:Me, trying to be smart ![]() ![]() Physical abuse? Nope, the OP started by mentioning abuse - without any qualification - and cited it as a reason for divorce. He went further to categorise 4 - also alluding to a number of other - types of abuse. Next time please come along with your reading glasses and comprehension smarts ![]() TV 1 Like |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by TV01(m): 8:54pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
missjo:There is simply no pleasing some people is there?? ![]() ![]() ![]() You opened by making unfounded and unsubstantiated allegations against me and then claim I went on the defensive ![]() What makes you think you have the right to pose questions or demand answers of me. If you aren't a Christian what's it to you? If you are, you should know. Orishi rishi up in here presenting an ersatz spirituality. If you have nothing cogent to say, here's a spade, feel free to disappear up your own fundament ![]() I continue to deliver ![]() TV 3 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by soonest(f): 10:19pm On Oct 02, 2016 |
Acheron: Lolz. You should try though. ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by missjo(f): 12:41pm On Oct 03, 2016 |
TV01:Have a lovely week |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by RiloKiley: 7:57pm On Oct 03, 2016 |
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. (Most importantly the last sentence) There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,he must hammer a nail into the back of the wall. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the wall. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the wall. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the wall. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the wall. The wall will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. Once you hurt your loved ones It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 8:02pm On Oct 03, 2016 |
RiloKiley: The moral of the story is beautiful and very true but how did the boy get the nails out if it was so hard to hammer them in? |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by Acheron: 8:14pm On Oct 03, 2016 |
Mindfulness:Maybe he used nail remover, a certain tool used by carpenters. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by RiloKiley: 9:22pm On Oct 03, 2016 |
Mindfulness: The reverse side of a hammer has a claw for pulling out nails. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:31pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
Mindfulness: The church means the people called out from this world system and washed by the blood of the lamb. ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:35pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
thesicilian: If that is the case those who want to divorce would just go and commit sexual immorality and then use that as grounds for divorce, no? ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:36pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
TV01: Only true Christians can lay claim to the verses you posted there not abusers. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:39pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
Juzzybabe: Emotional abuse can render the victim as an emotional wreck which is even worse. ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:40pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
Timbuktou: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:42pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:43pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
missjo: May God help us. ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:44pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
missjo: You just nailed it. TV qualifies as a domestic abuser using the bible as a cover. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:46pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
RiloKiley: The Bible commands husbands to love their wives. If you love your wife you will not raise up your hand to hurt her. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:47pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
raumdeuter: How do all those points listed above count for abuse? ![]() |
Re: Is Abuse An Acceptable Reason For Divorce? by OLAADEGBU(m): 10:49pm On Oct 04, 2016 |
RiloKiley: If prospective partners begin to render slaps to once in a while before they get married then I suggest the victim at this juncture to take to their heels without looking back. ![]() |
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