Timbuktou:


So, a headbutt or drop kick once every few years is cool?

No. Not cool at all

missjo:

Any kind of abuse physical or otherwise should be a ground for divorce if we are been fair.

joseph1832:
Consistent abuse you say? Wow!

Yes consistent. A one off slap can be forgiven but when I see he's hell bent on being a beast, I will find the door myself.

soonest:

No. Not cool at all

Yes consistent. A one off slap can be forgiven but when I see he's hell bent on being a beast, I will find the door myself.

A one off slap is usually the preamble needed in letting you know you're dealing with a beast.

joseph1832:
A one off slap is usually the preamble needed in letting you know you're dealing with a beast.

False and unrealistic.
Anyone can be provoked to the wall to give a one off slap. This holds true for the male or female species. A persistent repitition indicates abuse.

RiloKiley:


False and unrealistic.
Anyone can be provoked to the wall to give a one off slap. This holds true for the male or female species. A persistent repitition indicates abuse.

Abuse is often times misinterpreted when it happens once.

Any man who raise his hands to slap a woman have the potential to beat her up. Just like being provoked doesn't give any man the reason to slap a woman, especially if they're married. There are other options...

joseph1832:
Abuse is often times misinterpreted when it happens once.

Any man who raise his hands to slap a woman have the potential to beat her up. Just like being provoked doesn't give any man the reason to slap a woman, especially if they're married. There are other options...

Whether married or not, there are always other options to violence. But these situations occur at a time of great anger and irrationality, especially when the man has been provoked and pushed to the wall.


All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked.

The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned.

The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives.

RiloKiley:


Whether married or not, there are always other options to violence. But these situations occur at a time of great anger and irrationality, especially when the man has been provoked and pushed to the wall.

Yes I agree there are options to violence, one of them is walking away.

All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked.

Wrong! Not all men have the potential to beat up a woman, don't forget there are some women who can beat up some men. For example, put mynd44 along side Cynthia RothRock and tell me if she wouldn't kick his ass back to back.

The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned.

No doubt, but what happens when the women continues quarrelling or she grabs hold of the man's shirt or even return the slap back?

The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives.

Agreed.

missjo:
You quote the Bible a lot for someone who likes to bully, insult, and talk down on women,is this the Christian way?

Love the bible me. Untrammelled - and often unpalatable - truth . And please, I'm an equal opportunity bully, insulter and talk down-oner" .

Can't rightly tell if you are after a discussion, fight or just looking to score cheap points. Any which way, I can't say I really give a toss, you haven't shown you possess the heft.


TV

RiloKiley:


Whether married or not, there are always other options to violence. But these situations occur at a time of great anger and irrationality, especially when the man has been provoked and pushed to the wall.


All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked.

The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned.

The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives.

Some much needed nuance to this discussion. But I doubt it will be appreciated. The feminist hordes and their ideologically transgenderd enablers are after divorce at will.

No-fault divorce is already here legally, they are just trying to force the message home socially, and ensure it's embedded into all belief systems. Like abortion really.

Abortion was in case of rape or threat to the mothers life. These two reasons account for an almost negligible number of abortions, and the real push is for abortion on demand - at any point and for any reason.

Here they cite cases of serious physical abuse or death as examples, then make abuse itself the justifier, abuse without any real or objective definition - i.e. based on what the woman feels.

Soon, if you can't afford a walk in wardrobe full of designer bags for your wife, abuse will be cited and divorce justified . Poor men, you are on your own .


TV

TV01:

Because;
1. Physical abuse could be mild
2. it could be a one-off, situationally driven event
3. It could be dealt with effectively - healing and reconciliation should always be the first recourse
4. It's not given as grounds for divorce
5. There are no grounds for divorce in a consummated marriage

Further, even if you separate (you cannot remarry) unless your spouse dies - I am not counselling murder 0! - even if you call that separation "divorce". That's Christianity - I didn't write the rules


TV

what of domestic abuse? and if someone doesn't have money to file for a divorce, what is her Fate or another option?

Sparklequeen:
what of domestic abuse? and if someone doesn't have money to file for a divorce, what is her Fate or another option?

If abuse - as opposed to low level conflict - occurs in a marriage, spouses should seek immediate resolution. Even low level conflict should not be a feature of a healthy marriage, let alone a christian one. Love & submission. How hard is that ?

If abuse is escalating or serious, endangered party should seek to remove themselves from the situation, seek the right help, and if necessary remain separated for their well-being, until such time as the situation is resolved.

Divorce does not save one from abuse, it can take years to process a divorce. Lots of domestic, indeed more domestic abuse occurs between "unmarried couples". Domestic abuse is not an inherent feature of marriage.

If after all efforts a resolution to effect reconciliation cannot be found, you can remain separated, but you cannot remarry. Christian marriage is until death do part. Any subsequent "union" whilst the spouse is still alive is adultery.

I know huh? Shine eye, look well, choose wisely and enter the institution with the requisite sobriety. Christianity is not for flakes, marriage is not for the faint-hearted.


TV

TV01:

Some much needed nuance to this discussion. But I doubt it will be appreciated. The feminist hordes and their ideologically transgenderd enablers are after divorce at will.

No-fault divorce is already here legally, they are just trying to force the message home socially, and ensure it's embedded into all belief systems. Like abortion really.

Abortion was in case of rape or threat to the mothers life. These two reasons account for an almost negligible number of abortions, and the real push is for abortion on demand - at any point and for any reason.

Here they cite cases of serious physical abuse or death as examples, then make abuse itself the justifier, abuse without any real or objective definition - i.e. based on what the woman feels.

Soon, if you can't afford a walk in wardrobe full of designer bags for your wife, abuse will be cited and divorce justified . Poor men, you are on your own .


TV

Is this topic about feminism? Are those wanting out because of spousal abuse also feminist.
@ the bolded, ain't you trying to be smart? You know the abuse being discussed in this thread is physical abuse so I don't get where this is coming from. Except you are unto something else.

soonest:


Is this topic about feminism? Are those wanting out because of spousal abuse also feminist.
@ the bolded, ain't you trying to be smart? You know the abuse being discussed in this thread is physical abuse so I don't get where this is coming from. Except you are unto something else.

There is no scientific proof of what's written in your profile picture anywhere. It's just pure fallacy and I'm sure you know it.

It's funny though.

TV01:

Love the bible me. Untrammelled - and often unpalatable - truth . And please, I'm an equal opportunity bully, insulter and talk down-oner" .

Can't rightly tell if you are after a discussion, fight or just looking to score cheap points. Any which way, I can't say I really give a toss, you haven't shown you possess the heft.


TV

It was a simple question,but now that I see you going on the defensive and finding a way to still talk down on me before getting to type 50 complete words, is just sad to be honest.

Again I ask,is this the Christian way?

soonest:
Is this topic about feminism? Are those wanting out because of spousal abuse also feminist.

If I wish to introduce feminism, I am free to do so. Likewise, you are free to ignore or refute . Having said that, nowadays, whether you accept it or not, the feminist narrative is one that usually colours discussions of this nature. I actually made that point, likening it to how the right to abortion willfully murder ones unborn child is presented. Is that clear? It's about the narrative, not any individual.

soonest:
@ the bolded, ain't you trying to be smart? You know the abuse being discussed in this thread is physical abuse so I don't get where this is coming from. Except you are unto something else.

Me, trying to be smart . Fightin' talk - Me likey .

Physical abuse? Nope, the OP started by mentioning abuse - without any qualification - and cited it as a reason for divorce. He went further to categorise 4 - also alluding to a number of other - types of abuse. Next time please come along with your reading glasses and comprehension smarts .


TV

missjo:
It was a simple question,but now that I see you going on the defensive and finding a way to still talk down on me before getting to type 50 complete words, is just sad to be honest.

Again I ask,is this the Christian way?

There is simply no pleasing some people is there?? . I answered you in a way that fully met the expectations you set out; bullying, insulting and down talking - and you still aren't happy .

You opened by making unfounded and unsubstantiated allegations against me and then claim I went on the defensive . You are? Like I said, you don't have the heft.

What makes you think you have the right to pose questions or demand answers of me. If you aren't a Christian what's it to you? If you are, you should know. Orishi rishi up in here presenting an ersatz spirituality. If you have nothing cogent to say, here's a spade, feel free to disappear up your own fundament .

I continue to deliver


TV

Acheron:

There is no scientific proof of what's written in your profile picture anywhere. It's just pure fallacy and I'm sure you know it.

It's funny though.

Lolz. You should try though.

TV01:

There is simply no pleasing some people is there?? . I answered you in a way that fully met the expectations you set out; bullying, insulting and down talking - and you still aren't happy .

You opened by making unfounded and unsubstantiated allegations against me and then claim I went on the defensive . You are? Like I said, you don't have the heft.

What makes you think you have the right to pose questions or demand answers of me. If you aren't a Christian what's it to you? If you are, you should know. Orishi rishi up in here presenting an ersatz spirituality. If you have nothing cogent to say, feel free to disappear up your own fundament .

I continue to deliver


TV

Have a lovely week

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,he must hammer a nail into the back of the wall.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the wall.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the wall.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his
temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the wall.
He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the wall.
The wall will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
Once you hurt your loved ones It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there.


A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

RiloKiley:

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.
His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper,he must hammer a nail into the back of the wall.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the wall.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.
He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the wall.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his
temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the wall.
He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the wall.
The wall will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.
Once you hurt your loved ones It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there.


A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

The moral of the story is beautiful and very true but how did the boy get the nails out if it was so hard to hammer them in?

Mindfulness:


The moral of the story is beautiful and very true but how did the boy get the nails out if it was so hard to hammer them in?

Maybe he used nail remover, a certain tool used by carpenters.

Mindfulness:


The moral of the story is beautiful and very true but how did the boy get the nails out if it was so hard to hammer them in?

The reverse side of a hammer has a claw for pulling out nails.

Mindfulness:


Fixed.

The church means the people called out from this world system and washed by the blood of the lamb.

thesicilian:


Marital infidelity is sexual immorality/unfaithfulness in marriage. And I think its the only ground for divorce recognized by Jesus Christ while he was physically on earth.

But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless
she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit
adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced
woman also commits adultery.
- Matthew 5:32 (New Living Translation)

If that is the case those who want to divorce would just go and commit sexual immorality and then use that as grounds for divorce, no?

TV01:


This may appear to be the case at first glance, but look at parallel scriptures;

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

If these verses in Mark & Luke are to be believed - and they are - divorcing a woman and remarrying makes one an adulterer. Along with the divorced spouse if they should marry another.

Luke and Mark seemingly contradict Matthew 5:32 & 19:9, or at least says that even if you divorce your wife for infidelity, you cannot remarry, and neither can she. So again;

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 1:18-19 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

The seeming exception in Matthew was due to what we see in chapter 1. Joseph was espoused (betrothed to Mary), it was not a consummated marriage, even though he was called her husband - "before they came together" - it's why paternity was not in question - for ordinary Joe anyway .

He was putting away a fiancee, not a wife. Both parts of the transaction were considered binding, but voiding could occur at the betrothal stage (prior to consummation) if "fornication", note it was not "adultery", was proven. They were considered husband and wife at both stages.

In todays terms we say better a broken engagement. There was no concept of dating or loosely engaged. Biblically, after consummation, marriage is until death do part - hence this saying by the disciples;

Matthew 19:10 - His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

That's bible, it can be hard,, so take it or leave it. But please stop trying to interject worldly morés to make it more palatable to those who cannot receive it .


TV
^{...Olaadegbu, please stop prating about divorce for abuse - it's not there.}

Only true Christians can lay claim to the verses you posted there not abusers.

Juzzybabe:


My point of view, (either men or women) you can easily live with verbal abuse and get over emotional abuse but one might not Survive physical abuse. People who manages physical abuse in marriages/relationships just to break the record, always leave us with their tale to serve as a lesson while they are either gone,or damaged beyond repairs.

Emotional abuse can render the victim as an emotional wreck which is even worse.

Timbuktou:


So, what you're saying is emotional abuse causes or leaves no harm on the victim? It's just water off a duck's back. Got it.

RiloKiley:


He's a very confused fellow.

Do you think so?

missjo:


Hello,if you read the entire chapter of Mathew 5 you will understand that almost everyone of us will go to hell one way or the other.
There are no TRUE Christians anymore as far as am concerned and if there are,its too few.

May God help us.

missjo:


You quote the Bible a lot for someone who likes to bully, insult, and talk down on women,is this the Christian way?

You just nailed it. TV qualifies as a domestic abuser using the bible as a cover.

RiloKiley:


In your child-like fantasy, couples will never argue nor fight. The day they do they are no longer in love. Childish thinking.
We are all imperfect human beings and times will come when we can't stand one another. It is at times like that that a mature love will take you through the rough patches.

Love does not love because the other loves back. Love loves unconditionally
I won't be surprised if u don't understand this.

The Bible commands husbands to love their wives. If you love your wife you will not raise up your hand to hurt her.

raumdeuter:


OP

When your wife is a bad cook that is also some form of abuse
When your husband snores that is also one form of abuse
When your wife spends lavishly that is one for of abuse
When your husband doesnt make enough money that is also some form of abuse
When sexx with your wife/husband is no longer good or frequent, that is also abuse
When they partner press toothpaste from the middle thats also an abusive behavior

All these and more are grounds for divorce

How do all those points listed above count for abuse?

RiloKiley:


Whether married or not, there are always other options to violence. But these situations occur at a time of great anger and irrationality, especially when the man has been provoked and pushed to the wall.


All men have the potential to beat up a woman. Self control is key. However we are human and self control cannot be maintained 100% of the time especially if the man is being continually provoked.

The one-off slapper is usually stunned when he does it. The one off slap usually ends the quarrel with both partners being shocked and surprised at the same time. It happens and is usually unplanned.

The chronic abuser however would have been rendering slaps even in the pre-marriage era. It is part of his/her repertoire and such people usually defend their slaps as a means to an end. They give out their fists generously. These are the husband/wife beaters. These are the ones whose spouses are at risk of losing thier lives.

If prospective partners begin to render slaps to once in a while before they get married then I suggest the victim at this juncture to take to their heels without looking back.