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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by aisammy4: 9:07am On Oct 07, 2016 |
The reality is that both of you have communication issues. She has ego and you have pride. I would say is that "you should also stop haboring things in your mind for your wife". You should be able to manage your "emotion" (anger) and stop pouring out on your wife. I will recommend you take her out and spoil her alittle. You guys should go for a date. It can be a weekend date "very perfect time". Moving away from your comfort zone to a new environment; during this time, you can have a heart-to-heart talk. Trash issues out during this period and never ever let a third party come in between you. However, what your wife told you after threaten not to eat her food is true. That thing you are running from may be what you can meet in front. So trash you issues out. These are marriage tiff and you can always sort things out. Goodluck 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by fortunechy(m): 9:14am On Oct 07, 2016 |
In marriage,especially wit gal of recent time u cant see 90percent wt u expected or want frm a lady,infact urs is nt a big deal to compare wit the one am hearin everyday as a marriage councilor. wt i will advice u to do is to ve a hrt to hrt talk wit her,then if she's persist involve third party one frm her side n vice versa. This platform isnt the appropriate place to solve it cuz u will get insulted,biase advice n jaguda anwsers. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Ivanlxi(m): 9:21am On Oct 07, 2016 |
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by vicbummadu(m): 9:29am On Oct 07, 2016 |
kaboninc: MY BEST OPINION ON THIS MATTER SO FAR! How can we adopt our imperfections with zero efforts to learn and improve in areas of "disaster" in our lives? Everyone in life has one thing or the other they need to adjust to, to strive towards a place/personality called "better". You strive for excellence in your career, worship, physical looks and all...why not in your character? there is no excuse for this please, not even the education, healthy career or exposure we make so much about. Even God demands remorse and repentance when we go astray, why should a mortal NEVER feel such a burden no matter the gravity of what they have committed? IT IS UTTERLY WRONG and is not justifiable by any "word acrobatics". Just show genuine remorse of wrong, however poorly transmitted, the offended will catch the message. why would it hurt? I am in no position to advise on a marriage I am not privy to, nor do I value cyberspace as the rightful place to seek such advise. I have expunged the matter of apology and commented on same as a separate matter, applicable to everyone irrespective of tribe, religion, status, sex and any other classifications. I believe the world would be better if we said "I'm sorry" and "thank you" more, and mean it from our hearts. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Afribiz(f): 9:31am On Oct 07, 2016 |
samuelUMOH: 1 million likes for this post 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 9:41am On Oct 07, 2016 |
Tedassie:He doesn't want the best for his wife, he wants the best for himself. He want her to live like him not minding that she is a full fledged adult that has her own opinion. You want food to be cooked the way you want it not minding her own preferences. He is selfish and can't compromise. And a fuc.king nag too. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 9:44am On Oct 07, 2016 |
deltateam:Will it be wrong for him to cookit and show her how it is done instead of salivating and comparing her with his neighbour? What a childish behavior. Sometimes people lose it. We are talking about a young family...a wife... a husband....is this even an issue.? |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 9:45am On Oct 07, 2016 |
blazer234:You didn't bother to read the rest of his updates, did you? You are on the wrong here. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 9:47am On Oct 07, 2016 |
[quote author=metallisc post=49983120][/quote]You should learn how to read I details and check for updates before sounding like an I'd.iot. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 9:48am On Oct 07, 2016 |
forexbinary:If I am we would've been separated the first month. What an overbearing louse of a man. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by omonnakoda: 10:00am On Oct 07, 2016 |
Generally when you have conflict with other people the best place to look for a solution is yourself. Start by changing yourself and see how easy that is before trying to change another person. OP you seem to be an obsessional individual, i.e one of those individuals who have a need to control your environment and if unable to do so you feel anxious.Examine yourself. The underlying premise of everything you have written is that YOU ARE RIGHT and SHE IS WRONG. This is 2016. If you want a long marriage you will need a new set of skills.Shouting and claiming head of the house will get you nowhere these days. You can try a more aggressive approach and see where that will end The marriage institution is changing these days and that is why many end up in divorce. Men traditionally have dominated their wives but increasingly women are going to school and earning as much or more than men. It is money that makes women humble This means that the role of a man as "head" of the house is undermined.There is no two ways about that. You have to be more mature and tolerant to manage today's women otherwise avoid marriage. To my mind it seems you are quite petty to the extent of saying a particular food item should not be in the house because of YOUR needs. Even if your will prevails how will she feel? Most likely resentful. There is a Japanese saying; If you want me to obey you you must first obey me. Women may be submissive if the financial power is in your favour but as the marriage gets older and you have children and she feels stronger they will change then what? You marry another? They are all the same. Many women refuse to be controlled even in major things not to talk about Maggi things.It is your responsibility to think of a win win solution. You need to be clear what you want in your marriage a partnership or a boss/skivvy relationship. You need to be clear if your wife is signed up to that and if you are not on the same page then you have a major problem. Do you have any idea what kind of relationship her parents had? Sometimes a sense of humour helps to ease tension and solve many problems. The only way you can be a lord and master these days is with MONEY and even that is not real. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by 123papas(m): 10:14am On Oct 07, 2016 |
the love is gone, you just have to manage her or win back her love which is almost impossible. My advice, as a good man is just carry your cross and pray. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by realnate: 10:47am On Oct 07, 2016 |
cococandy:On point!!! Well said. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by humblemikel(f): 11:07am On Oct 07, 2016 |
FOR WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO NAIRALANDER PUT ASUNDER, HUSBAND LOVE UR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH, WIFE RESPECT AND ADORE UR HUSBAND FOR THIS IS RIGHT AND JUST, LET THERE BE PEACE IN THE HEART OF MEN
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by kayol2012: 11:10am On Oct 07, 2016 |
You guys have a nascent and lovely home. Marriage is not about who is right or wrong but concerted efforts put into it by the two parties to make it work. I believe she would change cos all responsible people all do. Dont nag or make big issue out of it but constantly make her see reasons why she needs to stop. There is a way you tell people to go to hell and the person will be looking towards the journey. Constantly remind when both of you are in the best moods. Good luck bro |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by kbright14: 11:18am On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel:Did you even read the post before you comment? |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Estonto(f): 11:22am On Oct 07, 2016 |
nnamdiosu:I admire your wisdom sir/ma. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by sweetcocoa(f): 11:34am On Oct 07, 2016 |
Marriage, na wa o. Imagine say I marry tomorrow and he says "don't cook with okpei" ha! Oga ekwekwa omume? 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by omonnakoda: 11:35am On Oct 07, 2016 |
nnamdiosu:This idea of obedience is a funny one. Not everyone subscribes to that these days and many consider it old school. What exactly is obedience? Does man obey God ? Do children obey their parents . The answer is somewhere between sometimes and Never. No human is completely obedient to another even if they wish to The issue these days is before people marry they do not clarify and negotiate but rather go in with blind assumptions. Obviously from your perspective women should obey husbands. There is nothing wrong with that if you marry a woman that shares that perspective but it would be very foolish to enter a marriage with that assumption without clarification on both sides. Even if the woman agrees to obey she may change and often they do. These days we see more and more Okonjo-Iwealas and other female achievers and the idea of telling such women not to keep Maggi in the house is an absurd one. If you want an obedient wife you must have a lot of money and marry a woman who is totally dependent on you? Many women don't even cook for their husbands then what? I wonder what you would say to Nigerian couple living abroad. Women only obey fully when you are paying her bills fully Let us not talk about what we wish for but what is the reality up and down Nigeria whether in Face me I face you,flats or Ikoyi. That model of marriage you are talking about is not reality 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Chiderad(m): 11:38am On Oct 07, 2016 |
How old is your wife? Is she 26? If then, be prayerful. At that age, they tend to act funny. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 11:44am On Oct 07, 2016 |
kbright14:Try to read well beyond the first post. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by nnamdiosu(m): 12:08pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by metallisc(m): 12:13pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel: oh.. quite unlike you, i don't have a comprehension/understanding problem. I have looked through and seen i'm not the only one trying to guide you back to the essence of the OP's issue (seeing that one flew over the cuckoo's nest ). I know you want to contribute to the topic in an intelligent manner, but unfortunately for you, you can't give what you don't have in the first place. try having an open mind towards issues and life for better understanding- you come off as a spiteful wan.ker full of resentment... i only pity the male that will get entangled with you - if you haven't snared one into your trap that is...
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 12:19pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Maximus85:I don't mind getting your proposed solution. As for the bolded. This is a faceless forum & no one knows us. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by application(f): 12:39pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
My dear, i have read through you write up and most of the responses given. I am a married woman and i must say at first i almost believed that i was reading from my husband because our issues are similar. Very little and minute issues lead to serious arguments and i was always the one feeling hurt and everything he did was always wrong and i would complain and nag at everything. So, just like you i thought my husband was not good enough for me as i always thought i was always right although we love ourselves. My dear, i enjoy my home now and the man i always thought was a mistake is the best thing to happen to me because of this 'one thing'. Before now, we would keep everything to ourselves and im one of those people who would tell you no third party! Then i got fed up one day and went straight to my aunt who was frank with me and after analyzing my complaint, she told me frankly how wrong i have been and that if i push him i will be the one to loose out. Bottom-line is this; Learn to trust your spouse Love your spouse unconditionally Never expect too much from your spouse As a woman, be submissive (not the mumu type but with respect) Learn to enjoy your home and be happy always Make efforts to focus on the positives of your spouse and not the negatives. Make out time to relax, play together and go out. These were my aunt's words and i hope its helps. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by joe4christ(m): 1:57pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel: A feminist on da loose, I can't imagine you and your egocentric and self - worshiping personality happily settling down with a man for a decade. I only hope you find reasons to change... |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 2:25pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
joe4christ:I have been in the institution for close to one and half decades. Get in first before dishing out your "marital advice" |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Princewell2012(m): 2:27pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
ItsQuinn: @op. First and formost you have accepted you nag. which I don't agree with you. Hmmm dictionary may have different meaning to different words it now depend on what you actually wanted. for my wife to tell me am nagging is a complete insult on my personality and shouldn't be accepted. The problem we were having today in our marriages is because we are copping the europeans system otherwise a man suppose to be the head of the family. Eg. There re people who don't like salt in their meals either on doctors advice or personal issue best known to them. Ok wait a minute does she want to kill? if she trully loves you why is she disobeying you on that area. Honestly am angry here. Listen man it is time for you to get to work and stop campaining to her. you have done that when you re still dating each others. but now you should talk to her man to man. that's what mariage relationship entails. I have married for ten years or thereabout I think am talking from experience. you re having two major issue here. 1: Disobedient. 2: She don't like appologising. Hmmm that's a serious case if you ask me. These are my own litle sugestions. 1 Talk to her about it and let her know how you feels about. 2 if there still no changes do have your own pot. Do you understand me? 3 if after this dia still no changes. 4 Stop eating her food. Case closed. Do this and come and thank me latter. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 2:28pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
metallisc:I don't get you at all. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by metallisc(m): 3:04pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by blazer234: 3:16pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel: Yes, Madame Michael, the Archangel! |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 3:23pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Thanks martyns303: |
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