thorpido:
She wants to go and open a bank account this morning.A nairalander wants to help her.
I said she could.I don't think anything is wrong with that abi?

Dr Thorpido how bad are her pregnancy symptoms pls?
Is she eating and drinking enough?

tearoses:


Dr Thorpido how bad are her pregnancy symptoms pls?
Is she eating and drinking enough?

Not so bad.She eats.

Jaygrl:
Sorry dear

Thanks swthy... don't worry very soon MS will go away. I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months.

tearoses:


How are you all dear?

Fine thank you

despite the hardship in Nigeria, there are still good people willing to help a total stranger. May God bless you all in abundance.

Onegai:
This is a 26 year old mum who entered MMIA 2 and passed through Immigration, boarded a plane and went to SA to school o. Why is someone escorting her to the bank to give them a passport, 2 passport photos, a photocopy of NEPA bill and fill out the form? Is that hard?

I've been following your comments since day 1 of this thread and i know a few people have misconstrued in the past but frankly,i have never for once doubted your ability.You are neither wicked nor ruthless, it's just that you tend to see beyond what a usual compassionate helper would see.I like the way you've been handling her,I believe she would change for better but i presume her to be someone who can only learn in a hard way, please keep it up.

thorpido:
She wants to go and open a bank account this morning.A nairalander wants to help her.
I said she could.I don't think anything is wrong with that abi?

Why does she want to open a bank account now ? Should that be a priority now? And who is the NLDER and why does s/he want to help a grown ass woman to open an account

How far have we gone with reconciliation with the mother? Any word from the baby daddy? When is she resuming work in her mom's shop?

I think there are more important issues than opening a bank account, for now. what does she urgently need a bank account for ?So nlders can send funds to her directly, Is she ready for that now?

Just saying. . .

tearoses:

New Year? It cant be that long surely Will chat you offline

Lol. OK. Lost contacts. Pardon me.
I'll be waiting...

ifyalways:

Why does she want to open a bank account now ? Should that be a priority now? And who is the NLDER and why does s/he want to help a grown ass woman to open an account

How far have we gone with reconciliation with the mother? Any word from the baby daddy? When is she resuming work in her mom's shop?

I think there are more important issues than opening a bank account, for now. what does she urgently need a bank account for ?So nlders can send funds to her directly, Is she ready for that now?

Just saying. . .

She told me someone offered to open an account for her.When I asked why she couldn't do it herself,she said she doesn't have a utility bill(her mum won't give her any).
I didn't get the nairalander's name on phone because the line wasn't clear.Anyway,I told her opening a bank account was not an emergency.

The reconciliation with the mom is still ongoing.She told me the mother spoke with the baby daddy but his response has not been encouraging.He is yet to show up at their house.
She says she can't go with her mum to the shop today due to nausea and vomiting.

an apology may be forthcoming so I will modify this post. But I hope we are all in a better understanding of our girl.

We can still help her, we can still do this but be clear eyed. Everyone helping her, you need to be on the same page. Because your well-meaning actions may undermine the final solution: a confident moji26 standing on her feet, being awesome. There needs to be someone in charge, Thorpido you are our oga here. Everyone, please submit suggestions and help to him, Jaybee3, please help with finances: organising any donations. But no access to it until she's ready.

Don't take it personally, don't get mad, keep your eyes focused on the final solution, don't be carried away by how awesome and helpful you think you are being, don't indulge the bad behaviour, don't help her do things she must do for herself, don't believe the first words because people don't change overnight and only give trust when trust has been earned.

That is all.

Caveatemptor, I'm sure you've shrugged it off by now, bah Good man.

thorpido:
She told me someone offered to open an account for her.When I asked why she couldn't do it herself,she said she doesn't have a utility bill(her mum won't give her any).
I didn't get the nairalander's name on phone because the line wasn't clear.Anyway,I told her opening a bank account was not an emergency.

The reconciliation with the mom is still ongoing.She told me the mother spoke with the baby daddy but his response has not been encouraging.He is yet to show up at their house.
She says she can't go with her mum to the shop today due to nausea and vomiting.

She has to convince her mom she's truly changed before she can give her the utility bill.
I frankly do not understand the rush to open a bank account

Rehabilitation first. If anyone wants to urgently give her funds, Tehn is there and can keep the money till a later time when it can be handed over to her. What says Moji won't abuse her mom, leave the house once she gets access to some money now? Are we out to help her for real or we just want to sugar coat things then leave her in worse condition?

Has Moji told us the day she intends to start going to he mom's shop to help or when she's resuming the beauty school and ante natal?

Lol @ Ritualist.

Moji girl na character.

ifyalways:


She has to convince her mom she's truly changed before she can give her the utility bill.
I frankly do not understand the rush to open a bank account

Rehabilitation first. If anyone wants to urgently give her funds, Tehn is there and can keep the money till a later time when it can be handed over to her. What says Moji won't abuse her mom, leave the house once she gets access to some money now? Are we out to help her for real or we just want to sugar coat things then leave her in worse condition?

Has Moji told us the day she intends to start going to he mom's shop to help or when she's resuming the beauty school and ante natal?

Once antenatal is done, let's ask on Pregnancy thread for Igando mums who will be willing to check that she shows up for it at GH. Next week, she needs to make a decision about either beauty school or mum's shop because she should start paying her mum for food and rent (something like N10,000 once or twice a month). So she must earn something. A lot of women are throwing up in danfos on their way to work, why not join them?

Jesus.... ritualist I give up

Onegai:


Once antenatal is done, let's ask on Pregnancy thread for Igando mums who will be willing to check that she shows up for it at GH. Next week, she needs to make a decision about either beauty school or mum's shop because she should start paying her mum for food and rent (something like N10,000 once or twice a month). So she must earn something. A lot of women are throwing up in danfos on their way to work, why not join them?

Thorpido, when can she register and start ante natal?

Moji, why are you silent here? When can you start ante natal s?

Moji26, please decide if you wish to apologise or not, to Caveatemptor. Remember rule no.1: Don't apologise if you don't mean it. You can say the words when you do.

How far with the bank? Do you know what documents you need now?

Where did you stop with beauty school? Because you have to go back.

Where is the nearest SLOT to you? Please go and find out how much it will cost for your tablet and powerbank to sell off. They will cheat you (whatever the price they mention, add N3k to it and bargain), but you will have some money to open the bank account.

The

princessKF:
Jesus.... ritualist I give up

this our Moji baby is really entertaining.
I just burst into serious laughter when I read that. Funny girl!

ifyalways:

Thorpido, when can she register and start ante natal?

Moji, why are you silent here? When can you start ante natal s?

She can register for ante-natal next week.She's 3mths gone already according to her.
I also believe she should be able to get out of the house next week and start something.

Antenatal should come first or at the very least a check-up by an obstetrician.
She needs to be checked out medically that she and baby are fit
When she has been given a clean bill of health then she can go and do all the things that she needs to do be it completing beauty school or doing hair etc.

In the meantime there is nothing stopping her from going to help in her mums shop.
I’m sure she can take breaks if she needs be & her mum won’t watch her faint before she tells her to sit down if she needs to.
She is in good hands
But she has to make an effort first and it shows that she is willing to get up and do something and the first action in being responsible.

Moji I want tomorrow to be different from today.

I know how hard nausea and vomiting can be & how shitt it makes you feel, but lying down and doing nothing makes it worse
When you get up and move around, it takes your mind off things and it gives you energy too.
Get an early night and your clothes ready. You need to accompany mama to the shop tomorrow.
Even if you only manage half a day at first, you have done something, and on the road to making something out of your life & will improve with time.
Put your mind to it and you will see that you can achieve it.

thorpido:
She can register for ante-natal next week.She's 3mths gone already according to her.
I also believe she should be able to get out of the house next week and start something.

That's good
Thank you

Caveatemptor was in a hurry,probably to go to work and Moji started having ideas because he said he couldn't wait.She should apologise to him.
Caveatemptor,pls forgive.Her mind right now is full of many things.

I will follow up with the mom over the weekend still work on the relationship between mom and daughter.It's the key to getting every other thing to move forward.

Moji Go to Stanbic IBTC at Igando they will assist you in opening of the account it. Please try as much as you can to make your mum happy.


Tearoses I have replied your message.

thorpido:
Caveatemptor was in a hurry,probably to go to work and Moji started having ideas because he said he couldn't wait.She should apologise to him.
Caveatemptor,pls forgive.Her mind right now is full of many things.

She should go herself like what Onegai said she should go to the bank and open it on her own. their is Stanbic and First Bank at Igando opening of account shouldnt be that difficult.

Funjosh:






She should go herself like what Onegai said she should go to the bank and open it on her own. their is Stanbic and First Bank at Igando opening of account shouldnt be that difficult.

She doesn't have a utility bill.Her mom has all the documents.

thorpido:
She doesn't have a utility bill.Her mom has all the documents.

Then she waits until she can show some great behaviour to Mum. But let her go and find out the process herself. Do you have an idea how far GH Igando is from her, is it bus or keke or trekking distance?

Please did you speak to her mum about paying bills? Is it something her mum is willing to enforce? Because if Moji26 can, it will really convince her mum that it is a fresh, responsible start.

Onegai:


Then she waits until she can show some great behaviour to Mum. But let her go and find out the process herself. Do you have an idea how far GH Igando is from her, is it bus or keke or trekking distance?

Please did you speak to her mum about paying bills? Is it something her mum is willing to enforce? Because if Moji26 can, it will really convince her mum that it is a fresh, responsible start.

GH Igando is not far from her place.She takes a bike to the expressroad and joins a bus(N50) to GH Igando.
The mum was suggesting she goes with her to her shop but she was saying something about finishing her training.That has to be decided first.

thorpido:
She doesn't have a utility bill.Her mom has all the documents.

I’m sure that when she starts to show responsibility and starts to behave herself and her mum sees the changes, her mum will support her in anything that needs doing including providing the documents for opening an account.

When she goes to the shop and assists her mum her mum will be happy to give her some money or even give her a wage (I don’t know what type of shop it is) and her mum will help her in getting her life on track.

What has happened has happened & it’s time to move on. Her mother is her mother and when she sees that Moji is doing what she is supposed to do, then she will support her

Moji has to be ready and genuinely reach out her hands first to her mum for her mum to help her.

thorpido:
GH Igando is not far from her place.She takes a bike to the expressroad and joins a bus(N50) to GH Igando.
The mum was suggesting she goes with her to her shop but she was saying something about finishing her training.That has to be decided first.

What type of shop does mum have?

thorpido:
GH Igando is not far from her place.She takes a bike to the expressroad and joins a bus(N50) to GH Igando.
The mum was suggesting she goes with her to her shop but she was saying something about finishing her training.That has to be decided first.

She should follow her Mum to the shop for the main time, then later she start her training.

Why is Moji afraid to go to the shop? She's still thinking about what people will say? People that are going about their life, with most of them without assurance of how they will eat tomorrow. Moji, you are a mother now. People will always talk. You made mistakes and you must face your life instead of running away. I still insist she should go to the shop with her mother first. Pending when donations come in and she must do a damn good job at her mother's shop. I personally do not think a bank account is a priority right now. She must even finish training first before any real money enter's her account. All payments should come from Tehn for now

Onegai:

Then she waits until she can show some great behaviour to Mum. But let her go and find out the process herself. Do you have an idea how far GH Igando is from her, is it bus or keke or trekking distance?
Please did you speak to her mum about paying bills? Is it something her mum is willing to enforce? Because if Moji26 can, it will really convince her mum that it is a fresh, responsible start.

The first and most serious sign of change is for her to follow her mother to the shop. That pride and arrogance needs to go. And she can only show real change when she humbles herself and learns under her mother's guidance