Onegai:
Caveatemptor no need to explain. You meant well, it is not your fault. She has even apologised. Just let it go. Please don't get angry. You will laugh about it by this evening.

What happened with Caveat and the op?

@Onegai...all they are trying to say is strike a balance! All these rules and orders you are throwing around sounds like you are trying to discipline a 10 year old.
This is an adult, a woman...
If you want to help, do so but with regard to the person's dignity.
The other time, you ordered that she must start calling you 'Aunty' cos she is Yoruba and you are 8 years older than her!
Cos you wanna help?
Common...na by force?! Respect is earned sometimes you know. Esp when the person is not your daughter, sister or relative.
Things are not done that way pls. The girl kukuma dey call you 'my dear' on WhatsApp.

Sorry if I sound hard on you. Would have said this to any other person doing same.
Tone down!

Ishilove:

What happened with Caveat and the op?

gbeborun

Caveatemptor:
Good day,
I am the Nairalander that promised to help Moji open an account. Although a few people have questioned my motive and intentions for doing this,I must state with all honesty that my reasons for wanting to help Moji out of the quagmire she found herself in stems purely for the children she is bringing into the world without any consideration for how she will feed/cloth/take care of them.
My interaction with Moji has been through the phone and through Whatsapp. On Whatsapp she came across as a very articulate young lady but across the phone vocally she comes across as some one who does not listen to contrary opinion and some one who is obstinate and not ready to listen to a contrary opinion except her own. She would talk on end and it was very difficult to get a word in,when she was in full flow.
When I started communication with Moji.I told her I wanted to open an account for her so she could pay for her antenatal process and any sundry expenses. I requested she open an account at any bank but she told me she had no idea of how to go about the process.
I explained she needed a utility bill. A couple of passport photographs or an international passport.
She claimed she had an international passport but appeared lost about the process. I asked where she lived and she told me Obadore off Igando. I asked if I could visit the house and that she should give me directions to the house. I actually wanted to meet her mother in order to get her perspective on issues,however Moji suggested we meet at Igando bus stop. If you know Igando very well you know it is a mad house. A bedlam of chaotic traffic of cars,okada,Maruwa and trailers. I therefore suggested I wait for Moji inside the NNPC petrol station at Igando,from where we could proceed to First Bank Igando.

I had to lol at the bolded.It's my experience too.It's hard catching her words on phone especially when she's gingered.

Caveatemptor,I hope you didn't take it personal.Please still offer any help you plan when there's a need for it.

thorpido:
She can register for ante-natal next week.She's 3mths gone already according to her.
I also believe she should be able to get out of the house next week and start something.

Ok, good.
So our action plan for next week are :
Register for ante natals
Start working at mama's shop.
Still try to reach the baby daddy.

Sounds like a good one. Welldone. I'll contact you regarding the ante natal registration fees.

Onegai:


Once antenatal is done, let's ask on Pregnancy thread for Igando mums who will be willing to check that she shows up for it at GH. Next week, she needs to make a decision about either beauty school or mum's shop because she should start paying her mum for food and rent (something like N10,000 once or twice a month). So she must earn something. A lot of women are throwing up in danfos on their way to work, why not join them?

I'm not familiar with the Pregnancy thread so you can help us handle that please. I think she's starting work in her mom's shop next week

Thanks.

missjo:

Stating the obvious, how can I be the only one who sees those lines for what they come off as even if from a good place?

Pampering and indifferencehas enabled a series of bad decisions which we see now

That pattern of potential bad decision seems to still be playing itself with a reluctance to reconcile with her mom n work

However it's still an opinion and we are entitled to each of ours

We will log out n move on with her lives
The question is will she be better off

ifyalways:


Ok, good.
So our action plan for next week are :
Register for ante natals
Start working at mama's shop.
Still try to reach the baby daddy.

Sounds like a good one. Welldone. I'll contact you regarding the ante natal registration fees.

Yes,this is what we want to do.
Alright@bolded.

r231:


gbeborun

It's called 'enquiry'

Not really commented on this thread as I didn't want to just repeat all that everyone else has said over and over again.. I hope and pray she is able to get her life in order and reconciling with her mum while showing a will to change for the better is the way out.

Moji26, I want to just touch on the issue of not wanting to go to the shop because 'people will see you' my dear there is dignity in labour. My mum worked in a government parastatal while we were growing up doing well , going on official trips abroad, official and personal driver etc. There was a time both parents had their own drivers and we were driven chauffeur driven to school. Now I am not try to brag here just sharing a personal experience to make you see that life is not a bed of roses and we sometimes have to face life squarely despite what we think we should have. My mum then left her job and decided to go it on her own , at this time she had 3 shops one on the mainland, two on the island( one in balogun and one in apongbon). She was into wholesale importation of gift items and shoes and bags. The first set of problems was when there was a dodgy clearing agent which meant some of her consignments went into demurrage and at the end of the day the cost of clearing those goods had eaten deep into her profit. She had a thieving salesgirl in the apongbon shop who was literarily cleaning out on a big scale which was found out after an audit and this turned into a big police case which eventually led nowhere. It was a case of one issue after the other and eventually 3 shops became one( the one on the mainland, I don't want to say the location as it was quite known in that location at the time).Dads business was also not going great at the time. We went from having 4 cars to one that was always at the mechanics.

My mum who I had always seen growing up with on the fleek hair, suits etc always looking fly( my mum was the most glamorous woman to me as child she still is ) had to sack the shop girls in that store and started opening the shop sometimes with the help of me and my siblings. That period was when there were long strikes and I would sometimes would have to be the one to go first and take delivery of drinks. We supposedly ajebo girls had to help mum sell coke,pure water,la casera, chin chin etc in that shop as we needed the constant sales of things like that when the other goods were not selling( it was gift shop and obviously gifts don't sell everyday) to keep the place afloat.


I went to secondary school with some of the snootiest kids you can ever find , some who passed by or saw us in that shop and I wont even lie that I was very happy that were 'seeing me selling coke/pure water ' but the truth is that shop was paying part of our bills. Its not a matter of them seeing us it was a matter of they were not going to feed us. I don't want to go on and on but things drastically changed for a while and the standard of living dropped drastically from what we were used to. My parents tried to shield us from it but as the first child I bore the major brunt of it and I saw first hand that life is not always a bed of roses.

To cut the long story short ,My family really went through hard times which is (let me lighten the mood a bit ) one of the reasons I call myself ajebopak. And you know what those skills I learnt following my mum to the shop is still helping me today so many years after. That period taught me dignity in labour and the fact that sometimes in life you don't just stay there and moan, you pick yourself up and do what you need to do to get back up again. It taught me no one owes you anything in life and peoples perceived opinions of you and what you are worth wont pay bills in the real sense of it.

If you see me today blowing fone in meetings you wont believe I had once helped my mum sell pure water. I can relate with directors one minute and the next minute I am cracking jokes with a keke rider. If I have to sell to you, I am able to come down to whatever level that you are comfortable at. And this has helped me even in formal work settings throughout the course of my working life. It has also helped me earn money trading on the side till today.

My dear, please as most people have said, reconcile with your mum and the one of first step is to start by helping her as much as you can.( or your strength can allow) . We tend to look down on informal skills, but even the art of attending to customers is something that you will learn and need later in life if you eventually go down the beauty/salon business route. Let her know you want to start helping her in the shop.

You need to start taking responsibility for your life and your kids and I also think the reconciliation with your mum will help with this.

Again I wish you well and hope it all works out well in the end.

ifyalways:
I think she's starting work in her mom's shop next week
Thanks.

Ori eja, 5 days ago she was contemplating suicide but she will rather die than follow her mom to shop.

The same shop that puts a roof over your head and feed you as at today

E be like say she think say for heaven when she die people don have responsibilities, they dont go to shop and just need to sleep with men to have a livelihood.

If you wan die go ahead, Dem no dey use big prick scare old woman

thorpido:
I had to lol at the bolded.It's my experience too.It's hard catching her words on phone especially when she's gingered.

Caveatemptor,I hope you didn't take it personal.Please still offer any help you plan when there's a need for it.

I have followed this drama from day one and I am starting to get really pissed. What is all these abeg? Why should she even be gingered? Does this lady realise she has it better than most people out there? She has a roof over her head,she is educated, she has relatives ready to put up with her shit,she has an acquired skill and she even has an old lady acting as a part time nanny.. What else does she want for crying out loud?
I can't even believe there are people here trashing Onegai for her comments. If we can be truly honest with ourselves,this Moji girl has done nothing so far to warrant any soft words or petting from anyone. She even lied about her being so sick and practically starving. Now someone else has revealed that she is the obstinate type which we all know do not change overnight. Something Onegai has been hammering on from the get- go. Abeg,enough of the sentiments. Onegai isn't commanding or dictating. She is only saying the truth as it is. Alas,we are used to sugarcoating everything that when the ugliness is thrown at us, we cringe in disgust.
Madam Moji,work on your self. Most mothers in rural areas,at your age and in your condition, still go to farm and do other 'manly' jobs. You have no right to expect help from others, even your mother. She don try for you already.

fluxbush:
I have followed this drama from day one and I am starting to get really pissed. What is all these abeg? Why should she even be gingered? Does this lady realise she has it better than most people out there? She has a roof over her head,she is educated, she has relatives ready to put up with her shit,she has an acquired skill and she even has an old lady acting as a part time nanny.. What else does she want for crying out loud?
I can't even believe there are people here trashing Onegai for her comments. If we can be truly honest with ourselves,this Moji girl has done nothing so far to warrant any soft words or petting from anyone. She even lied about her being so sick and practically starving. Now someone else has revealed that she is the obstinate type which we all know do not change overnight. Something Onegai has been hammering on from the get- go. Abeg,enough of the sentiments. Onegai isn't commanding or dictating. She is only saying the truth as it is. Alas,we are used to sugarcoating everything that when the ugliness is thrown at us, we cringe in disgust.
Madam Moji,work on your self. Most mothers in rural areas,at your age and in your condition, still go to farm and do other 'manly' jobs. You have no right to expect help from others, even your mother. She don try for you already.

What I mean by gingered is when she has had an argument with someone and is ruffled.
Yes,she doesn't need to be pampered.

Na TV01 send me here o. I honestly can't be bothered to read 11 pages but from what I gather she does not want to do certain jobs because she does not want people to see her doing the said jobs

As my people go talk, 'ole lo bomo je', if she is willing to work, I am all in for whatever Tehn wants to arrange but if she is still all about her swagger, abeg I nor dey.

raumdeuter:


Ori eja, 5 days ago she was contemplating suicide but she will rather die than follow her mom to shop.

The same shop that puts a roof over your head and feed you as at today

E be like say she think say for heaven when she die people don have responsibilities, they dont go to shop and just need to sleep with men to have a livelihood.

If you wan die go ahead, Dem no dey use big prick scare old woman

Heaven sef no b for lazy pple o ,u must have strength to shout hallelujah consistently without ceasin
Our God doesn't condol laziness

phulxpression:
Heaven sef no b for lazy pple o ,u must have strength to shout hallelujah consistently without ceasin
Our God doesn't condol laziness

phulxpression:
Heaven sef no b for lazy pple o ,u must have strength to shout hallelujah consistently without ceasin
Our God doesn't condol laziness

Exactly sing dance worship everyday, You no go even get time to book short time and go nack man for money

Even God is omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, You no see say na work be that. If you too lazy sef dem fit send you back to the earth this time as a female donkey that would be pregnant and still carry load, if the donkey complain of morning sickness na flogging straight

raumdeuter:


Ori eja, 5 days ago she was contemplating suicide but she will rather die than follow her mom to shop.

The same shop that puts a roof over your head and feed you as at today

E be like say she think say for heaven when she die people don have responsibilities, they dont go to shop and just need to sleep with men to have a livelihood.

If you wan die go ahead, Dem no dey use big prick scare old woman

Lmaooooo! I wonder what would have become of Moji if her mother too decided she was too posh to run a shop to feed her own kids and will rather be borning pikin everywhere that she can't feed? Won't Moji now be working hard to survive?

This girl is obviously entitled. Mojo never hear say 'yiu don't look a gift horse in the mouth'. I think you guys should leave her to her devices as she'll learn worthwhile from this experience.

thorpido:
What I mean by gingered is when she has had an argument with someone and is ruffled.
Yes,she doesn't need to be pampered.

Argument kwa? Have you ever seen how contractors act when they are pursuing juicy contracts? They will never raise their voices or be caught in an argument against the ones giving out the contracts. That is when you see a rich man prostrating with his tongue licking the ground,all because he wants that contract. The emphasis here is humility. Which is something this lady completely lacks and instead dishes out large doses of pride and haughtiness. She came on here begging for help. That action alone disqualifies pride. People have followed her case up with a barrage of calls and chats,yet you say she engages in arguments when she is ruffled. Haba! Who does that? Even if some people's comments might annoy her, for the sake of the help she claims she needs, common courtesy demands she keeps quiet and make her point known in a courteous way,instead of gingering.
As far as I see, all she wants and expects is cool hard cash. She didn't expect everyone to get so involved to the extent of speaking with her mum,which is why she is gingering. Una don spoil market for am.
Compare her attitude and that of the other nursing mother in the other thread who had to codedly send her kid to feed off her neighbours. That is what a good mother does. If that lady had a badly damaged tablet to sell, she for don do am tey tey.
I am not trying to dismiss or downplay all the help you ve rendered so far. You ve proven to be a rare human indeed. But I don't think she needs any help at all. The help she needs is in her. If she had put her back into working hard from the moment she had her test results,she would have saved enough for ante natal care. Giving her money and 'encouraging' her will only prove to her that with a little tears and some tantrums,she can always get her way. Life proves otherwise.

damiso:
Not really commented on this thread as I didn't want to just repeat all that everyone else has said over and over again.. I hope and pray she is able to get her life in order and reconciling with her mum while showing a will to change for the better is the way out.

Moji26, I want to just touch on the issue of not wanting to go to the shop because 'people will see you' my dear there is dignity in labour. My mum worked in a government parastatal while we were growing up doing well , going on official trips abroad, official and personal driver etc. There was a time both parents had their own drivers and we were driven chauffeur driven to school. Now I am not try to brag here just sharing a personal experience to make you see that life is not a bed of roses and we sometimes have to face life squarely despite what we think we should have. My mum then left her job and decided to go it on her own , at this time she had 3 shops one on the mainland, two on the island( one in balogun and one in apongbon). She was into wholesale importation of gift items and shoes and bags. The first set of problems was when there was a dodgy clearing agent which meant some of her consignments went into demurrage and at the end of the day the cost of clearing those goods had eaten deep into her profit. She had a thieving salesgirl in the apongbon shop who was literarily cleaning out on a big scale which was found out after an audit and this turned into a big police case which eventually led nowhere. It was a case of one issue after the other and eventually 3 shops became one( the one on the mainland, I don't want to say the location as it was quite known in that location at the time).Dads business was also not going great at the time. We went from having 4 cars to one that was always at the mechanics.

My mum who I had always seen growing up with on the fleek hair, suits etc always looking fly( my mum was the most glamorous woman to me as child she still is ) had to sack the shop girls in that store and started opening the shop sometimes with the help of me and my siblings. That period was when there were long strikes and I would sometimes would have to be the one to go first and take delivery of drinks. We supposedly ajebo girls had to help mum sell coke,pure water,la casera, chin chin etc in that shop as we needed the constant sales of things like that when the other goods were not selling( it was gift shop and obviously gifts don't sell everyday) to keep the place afloat.


I went to secondary school with some of the snootiest kids you can ever find , some who passed by or saw us in that shop and I wont even lie that I was very happy that were 'seeing me selling coke/pure water ' but the truth is that shop was paying part of our bills. Its not a matter of them seeing us it was a matter of they were not going to feed us. I don't want to go on and on but things drastically changed for a while and the standard of living dropped drastically from what we were used to. My parents tried to shield us from it but as the first child I bore the major brunt of it and I saw first hand that life is not always a bed of roses.

To cut the long story short ,My family really went through hard times which is (let me lighten the mood a bit ) one of the reasons I call myself ajebopak. And you know what those skills I learnt following my mum to the shop is still helping me today so many years after. That period taught me dignity in labour and the fact that sometimes in life you don't just stay there and moan, you pick yourself up and do what you need to do to get back up again. It taught me no one owes you anything in life and peoples perceived opinions of you and what you are worth wont pay bills in the real sense of it.

If you see me today blowing fone in meetings you wont believe I had once helped my mum sell pure water. I can relate with directors one minute and the next minute I am cracking jokes with a keke rider. If I have to sell to you, I am able to come down to whatever level that you are comfortable at. And this has helped me even in formal work settings throughout the course of my working life. It has also helped me earn money trading on the side till today.

My dear, please as most people have said, reconcile with your mum and the one of first step is to start by helping her as much as you can.( or your strength can allow) . We tend to look down on informal skills, but even the art of attending to customers is something that you will learn and need later in life if you eventually go down the beauty/salon business route. Let her know you want to start helping her in the shop.

You need to start taking responsibility for your life and your kids and I also think the reconciliation with your mum will help with this.

Again I wish you well and hope it all works out well in the end.

Thumbs up Dami. Don't mind this Moji, she has not had a true struggle or near death experience as a result of hunger. If she has, she won't be doing the nonsense she is doing. In this recession, most people will be grateful if they have a parent that has a shop where they can work and provide for their families. Most people don't even have work right now, so who has time to worry about Moji and her many problems like she thinks.lmao. She's not serious.

Timbuktou:
This girl is obviously entitled. Mojo never hear say 'yiu don't look a gift horse in the mouth'. I think you guys should leave her to her devices as she'll learn worthwhile from this experience.

That is my own opinion too. You are ready to commit suicide but are not ready to follow your mom to shop?, Not to go carry concrete or dig ground like some women have to do?

If she follow through with Her previous parole of suzi16, she fit get some people that would pay for sexx with a pregnant woman sha

raumdeuter:


That is my own opinion too. You are ready to commit suicide but are not ready to follow your mom to shop?, Not to go carry concrete or dig ground like some women have to do?

If she follow through with Her previous parole of suzi16, she fit get some people that would pay for sexx with a pregnant woman sha

Lol. Which parol be dat one again?

I think her problem is her upbringing. A few slaps growing up would have corrected any impressions that the world owes you anything. She's acting like this is a buffet. Anyway, kudos to Thorpido and CaveatEmptor.

fluxbush:
Argument kwa? Have you ever seen how contractors act when they are pursuing juicy contracts? They will never raise their voices or be caught in an argument against the ones giving out the contracts. That is when you see a rich man prostrating with his tongue licking the ground,all because he wants that contract. The emphasis here is humility. Which is something this lady completely lacks and instead dishes out large doses of pride and haughtiness. She came on here begging for help. That action alone disqualifies pride. People have followed her case up with a barrage of calls and chats,yet you say she engages in arguments when she is ruffled. Haba! Who does that? Even if some people's comments might annoy her, for the sake of the help she claims she needs, common courtesy demands she keeps quiet and make her point known in a courteous way,instead of gingering.
As far as I see, all she wants and expects is cool hard cash. She didn't expect everyone to get so involved to the extent of speaking with her mum,which is why she is gingering. Una don spoil market for am.
Compare her attitude and that of the other nursing mother in the other thread who had to codedly send her kid to feed off her neighbours. That is what a good mother does. If that lady had a badly damaged tablet to sell, she for don do am tey tey.
I am not trying to dismiss or downplay all the help you ve rendered so far. You ve proven to be a rare human indeed. But I don't think she needs any help at all. The help she needs is in her. If she had put her back into working hard from the moment she had her test results,she would have saved enough for ante natal care. Giving her money and 'encouraging' her will only prove to her that with a little tears and some tantrums,she can always get her way. Life proves otherwise.

The arguments are usually with her mom.Their reconciliation is still a work in progress.
She needs help,maybe not financial as the ultimate.She's definitely someone who needs people to help her turn her life around.

Moji, a lot of Nigerians survived by their mother's selling Eko, moin moin, Amala or dry fish on a small try on their heads or in the market. Some their mother's and grand mother's took up housegirl work to feed their kids. A lot of them did this with their kids on their back or while heavily pregnant. Here you are, very comfortable and well fed to the extent that you lack scruples and will rather prostitute than work hard. Until there are reports of you working hard for your mother, please count me out of donation. When there is proof for at least a month worth of hardwork, someone should mention me.

raumdeuter:


Exactly sing dance worship everyday, You no go even get time to book short time and go nack man for money

Even God is omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent, You no see say na work be that. If you too lazy sef dem fit send you back to the earth this time as a female donkey that would be pregnant and still carry load, if the donkey complain of morning sickness na flogging straight

This killed me

At this juncture, those who didn't follow the thread from the outset should not derail it, either to lash out at others for claiming God over Moji. The most important thing is arriving at a resolution that would make her become a better person.

Thorpido, thanks once again. Onegai, truth is, you've been the most open person on this. The likes of me are watching from the sidelines at this point since reconciliation is paramount. We can only pray everything work as planned.

Mizmycoli is watching from the sidelines, just as me right. I hope you've been able to get your hands on some mashed chickens?

PS: ifyalways. Bless you bunch.

Timbuktou:
Lol. Which parol be dat one again?

I think her problem is her upbringing. A few slaps growing up would have corrected any impressions that the world owes you anything. She's acting like this is a buffet. Anyway, kudos to Thorpido and CaveatEmptor.

She get one monicker she dey use advertise to guys who want to have sex for cash to hit her up as at July august. There is a thread in sexuality where some pplmight be interested

thorpido:
The arguments are usually with her mom.Their reconciliation is still a work in progress.
She needs help,maybe not financial as the ultimate.She's definitely someone who needs people to help her turn her life around.

I have some fears though. I would have advised a Nairalander who lives closer to her environ mentor her after all these are put to bed. I mean close mentoring.

I believe that would also help as touching close monitoring and not just mentoring. Someone she could look up to. Better still, mom should know a person or two she listens to around. I understand this is a whole lot to ask for but I believe it would really help tame her. That is, after the reconciliation process pulls through.

raumdeuter:


That is my own opinion too. You are ready to commit suicide but are not ready to follow your mom to shop?, Not to go carry concrete or dig ground like some women have to do?

If she follow through with Her previous parole of suzi16, she fit get some people that would pay for sexx with a pregnant woman sha

Lol

That one na top up dem dey call am

raumdeuter:


She get one monicker she dey use advertise to guys who want to have sex for cash to hit her up as at July august. There is a thread in sexuality where some pplmight be interested

Where dam bura uba. For this same nairaland? . I done lost finish.

Grandma Tearoses, if you could help this girl with mentoring it might help. Please,consider it.

5minsmadness:


There's something i've been meaning to point out but felt it wasnt necessary cos its not the purpose of this thread.


All these men that abused her, are we really sure she was abused? Sure she showed a mark on her hand to thorpido, are we sure its a mark of abuse and not another injury from something else?

It could be true he hit her, after giving him some lip of course. She sounds very lippy to me. Not every man will handle that with calmness.

The second man loved her and took care of her: then she got pregnant for him and all of a sudden he turns abusive? Why? He starts to beat a woman he cared for and catered to previously, because she got pregnant for him? Or is it possible she tried to force a pregnancy on him? Or she became abusive when he could no longer cope with her attitude?

Ditto.

All these abusive relationships she has been in, has anyone considered that SHE MIGHT BE THE ABUSER?

Women cannot be abusers.