Ranchhoddas:
E be like say na you get comprehension issues oo!!

Yomieluv:
oga, park well..

An0nimus:
Dyt you no see as I dey ask of widow's mite of just 900,000k??

Anabell2:


I couldn't agree more

Moji who as at July 2016 used her alt username posted in sexuality section asking for Sex in exchange for money.
Now on this same thread October 2016 she says she met a man who took care of all her financial needs until she got pregnant for him (3 months) before he left her.
Was the 2nd baby daddy not taking care of her before using an alt to post asking for Sex in exchange for cash
or she just enjoys been laid every now and then
She talks from both sides of her mouth
The baby daddy could just be here https://www.nairaland.com/3257265/re-u-need-sex#48005353

I believe in change but in her case, it will take a divine intervention for that 'Supernatural change' to occur. God will need to come from Heaven in Person and visit her Physcially before She Changes

The only thing she doesn't need help for, is having SEX frequently without caution every other thing, working etc she's lazy at.


God forbid her mother to pass on.
Then she gets a [size=16pt]REALITY CHECK [/size]

...then realise her Mum was one of the best mum you can ever ask for.

Ingrate of a child!!

thorpido:
Like tearoses said,I can't see any pampering here o.

moji26:
hi Sir, Tanx for ur concerns towards me, I appreciate it sir, my mum ve come around to support me, the guy ve not been yielding anything, so I think it's best if we leave ourselves for good, now, just looking forward to help myself and my kids and take care of my pregnancy, I wanted to call u back Sir, I saw ur missed call, bt I dnt ve airtime to reach u Sir, so I tgink it's best if I reach out from here, thanks again sir

moji26:
hi Sir, Tanx for ur concerns towards me, I appreciate it sir, my mum ve come around to support me, the guy ve not been yielding anything, so I think it's best if we leave ourselves for good, now, just looking forward to help myself and my kids and take care of my pregnancy, I wanted to call u back Sir, I saw ur missed call, bt I dnt ve airtime to reach u Sir, so I tgink it's best if I reach out from here, thanks again sir

moji26:
hi Sir, Tanx for ur concerns towards me, I appreciate it sir, my mum ve come around to support me, the guy ve not been yielding anything, so I think it's best if we leave ourselves for good, now, just looking forward to help myself and my kids and take care of my pregnancy, I wanted to call u back Sir, I saw ur missed call, bt I dnt ve airtime to reach u Sir, so I tgink it's best if I reach out from here, thanks again sir

tearoses:


We cant argue
We can discuss

You haven't really given specific examples on her being pampered

moji26:
hi Sir, Tanx for ur concerns towards me, I appreciate it sir, my mum ve come around to support me, the guy ve not been yielding anything, so I think it's best if we leave ourselves for good, now, just looking forward to help myself and my kids and take care of my pregnancy, I wanted to call u back Sir, I saw ur missed call, bt I dnt ve airtime to reach u Sir, so I tgink it's best if I reach out from here, thanks again sir

Onegai:


Madam, you're right! But back to the matter: what are your contributions and thoughts?

5minsmadness:

Lol.
Take it easy.
Everybody has their style.
I must say i dont like the tone either but if it yields results...

5minsmadness:
Onegia and missjo.


Pls take it easy. Both of you are trying in your own ways to help. Dont turn the thread to another thing, it has been progressing remarkably well till this point. Apologies for fraying nerves. You ladies are doing very well for a total stranger.
Take it easy biko.

merahki:



Hello you and @ all
I have been following thread too, albeit not so silently
I am a sucker for giving kindness (and gifts and money and love and etc) ....and I am a sucker for receiving too, and, " I try"
I have been on NL since 2012 and think I do okay here...this forum has finally ensured that I am a sure step or two away from becoming a hermit/recluse
I lie all the time in real life, about my whereabouts when people wanna see me...just cos I am on here..but don't worry, I still get up and function and even do the dirty too, just like moji . SMH
But I digress, like I majorly do...self involved me

My post is about the people who give tough love. It works, I see that, for instance when I let my adorable niece wrap me round her fast growing finger and manipulate the living daylights outta me...then reports anybody who "looks for her trouble" to me. The Sucker . Then goes right round to respect them more....also knows to ask me for her bicycle and Kindle while massively disrespecting me. I love kids.....I am helpless around them too, and so will most probably make a bad mother, but that is okay, I am not one, and don't think I wanna be. They say my niece uses me to do yeye. True Story. She loves me best though....so I am good. I also know that when I need to discipline her I report her to the NAZI- mother and sisters and brothers, her parents are in this category, one is my sibling. So I know their approach works.
....in that mien, I respect the tough lovers on here......they are making it possible for @ moji to get empowered. I still prefer giving for the sake of giving, cos it makes me happy and I wanna bring a smile to peoples' faces. I do not care that the person I help wants to implode on their face..or is a prostitute, or is carrying a baby that is not theirs to solicit for my help...I just feel grateful that it is not me on the other side and maybe I can make them smile for a while. But remember I am a Sucker...let's just say I have never empowered anyone. False, but still okay

I have seen tough love on display on this topic. It is different and sometimes may be too harsh IMO...but I DO NOT DOUBT the well meaning behind it. My only advice is for you guys to remember that that moji is somebody's well loved even if bad child. Even if she was a prostituting heroin user...her mother would choose her over us, any time. So let us help without belittling is my advice. There are two sides to a story after all, and people get their traits from their parents remember? It is never just black or white. She could be lazy and proud, her mother could be proud and domineering too, these are coulds, I do not care an inch what their different family dynamics are like, every one has their own different family balance or imbalance.
In summary though...I commend the Toughies...

Only one poster disturbed me.....so much that I went to her profile and read many posts of hers. She labelled moji, and mocked victims of Structural Violence, African Americans, the Shanequas et al. She ordered moji not to speak should she call her on the phone, she subtly made fun of MyColi with her Patron Saint dig.....she called @thopido et al to leave with her when somebody called her (only her as a matter of fact) out. She rejected moji's proffered apology cos it was "not sincere" She pontificated and labelled and bullied and railroaded and charmed her way all thru and would become passive aggressive at times. I have diagnosed her to be with a God Complex. And she utterly has no insight with regards to this....so to her, other people are the problem, always...and she always has the solutions (and the anecdotes and similar stories backing it up). I am too wimpy to fight usually, but I think it is a sin to be silent now.

@ Mz Onegia....this is for you. Darling, you obviously come from money and have stayed in money, you are beautiful, you are uber intelligent and sophisticated, well travelled and skilled...and you move with the right crowds. You also know how to make your "voice" "heard" here. There is something however not okay about you (I read your posts)....that makes me e-cringe instead of e-admiring you. If there was a scale where condescensing help and loving help were at the two ends for everyone.....yours would be vertical, with the loving pole pointing south.

Needless to say, if I was on here, begging or trying to scam, and you entered, all you, and wanting to "help," I would decline. I would rather open my legs (to use Ishilove's very non sisterly words ) and be had and receive money that way. And if I was in any way hormonal from pregnancy or the like, I would throw a bomb at you!! Cos, you dear lady....are full of it! Crappola that is...and I know a lot about who you are here, (from reading maaany posts of yours on here) and trust me, I am not jealous and throwing shades at you cos I have the opportunity to be on the same forum as you. And neither am I climbing on the backs of people who called you out...I wanted to be sure first, and I studied you, just the way you studied moji.
True Story.

@sisoge, even if all of us should count ourselves priviledged to be on the same forum with angels, mermaids and celebrities, it is not enough for said people to denigrate us with their words. I am too lazy to quote properly, but your post after moji's lash out (rightful) @ someone who was clearly bullying, abusing, labelling, judging and executing her all at once made me pause. I get it, she may be your friend, but you should have said nothing IMO. Your contribution to that ish was a wrong one. Coldfeet actually cussed out moji in e-solidarity...not good too. Think about it, no advice here made that girl feel dehumanised enough to lash out, only @ Onegai's.

(Aside).... Online cliques are uncool in that they can make one defend others' stands instead of our own personal truths....to me, that defeats the point of the blessed anonymity. Makes me sad to see when people clearly climb all over themselves to accommodate the at times, mad and dangerous views of their "friends". At times you see them ignore peoples' posts just because too. Or back-track on some posts etc....It makes me crack up actually, but I am trying to be deep here, so lemme use sad, lol. Then, what do I know!?

My rant/beef ends here.

TV01:

CC, how far na? Hope all is well and things are just so in the homestead. You are first up, which ever way I look at it, even, if not especially, based on the Yoruba "age deference" tradition. And if it's age before beauty, then you'll be first and second - did I just dodge a bullet?

I didn't get the "pampering" bit at first either? But then I revisited this contextually. Think about it, in a country where brutalisation - the govt brutalizes the people, leaders brutalise their followers, spouses brutalise each other, parents brutalise children, madams brutalise helps, people routinely brutalise each other (just because). and the economy brutalises nigh on everyone - is the norm, it's perhaps understandable to see that some people may confuse treating others with basic human dignity and a modicum of respect, regardless of their wrong-doings or situation, as pampering - even among the well-to-do foreign educated burghers, in the high-brow rarefied environs of the Island.

My initial promise was to come back and acknowledge your first post, so I should probably have started with this. When I first read the kind of dehumanising things being written, I wanted to jump straight in. But I thought our resident feminists will soon be in to right this wrong.

After all, I thought, for those that hate feminism, for those that espouse it, for those on the mild end of the spectrum and those on the extreme, one thing they can all agree on is that woman should be free to make their own choices. Not a whisper as OP was discussed like she was a farmyard animal. I waited a few days not a sound. Then just as I was fumbling to post, stopping and starting - with lil' mama on my lap - you said something. Thank you for that glimmer of hope.

I find it helps not to have overly high expectations of anyone on here, and even to a degree in real life, but I always have hope. But where is the hope when too many of the women here seem to find it so hard to reason factually, cling tightly to a - IMO - shoddy ideology they can't follow through on, and offer nothing more than a therapeutic nod to objective morality.

And finally - age, beauty and character - as the mother of an adult, how do you think any mother would take it if random strangers turned up at the door, flip their "NL CharitySquad" ID, and presume to take control of your daughters life. The daughter you had long-suffered with for 26 years, the daughter who you were still housing and feeding and whose child, plus one on the way, you were caring for?

Or even the paternal grandmother in situ? The squad turn up and say "good job tending to the expectant mother", but this sprog is going up for adoption as soon as it's sprung? The mind boggles - let me stop.

Don't feel the need to answer me o jare, just musing while la famiglia are out jollying without me .

Actually, I do have one question. Given the new age-thingy, would you like to be addressed as mummy, mummy agba, or the more churchy "mother in Israel". For myself, I'm thinking 35+ refer to me as "big unku", while anything below that as "awon daddy wa" .


TV

missjo:
My rant/beef ends here too. This thread has out lived its usefulness.

MizMyColi:
TV01 touched up on some of the points that made me say I'm weak earlier.

missjo:
As much as I don't agree with TV on a lot of things, your tone on this issue confirms a lot of what he laid out.

TV01

I won’t lie. Sometimes I think you speak a whole load of mumbo-jumbo. And like I do a lot of the posters here, I was just going to leave you be, so far as you did’nt appear to champion immorality or blaspheme. And so it was until you felt the need to take me to task a while back

But you know, you do appear genuine, very “from the heart”. And in some ways I think you at least try and be straight and aim for consistency. And that’s quite rare here. Credit where it is due. One step forward.

There’s a theory that women rarely speak truth to power, not unless it’s in their best interest. Indeed, the theory goes, truth or lies are not really a consideration, it’s more about staying onside of power and influence. Keeping relationships and favour going, no matter the compromise.

Why did you need me to say something, before you spoke? And even then, you spoke more to appease, than to address. Two steps back.
It’s why, despite what I hear here, I’ll always believe that men should lead in most areas and in most situations.

Funjosh:
You people should speak English na

TV01:

...not so fast, I'm not done ...besides, it's never about the thread really is it . Like said, it's about our learning...

I won’t lie. Sometimes I think you speak a whole load of mumbo-jumbo. And like I do a lot of the posters here, I was just going to leave you be, so far as you did’nt appear to champion immorality or blaspheme. And so it was until you felt the need to take me to task a while back .

But you know, you do appear genuine, very “from the heart”. And in some ways I think you at least try and be straight and aim for consistency. And that’s quite rare here. Credit where it is due. One step forward.

There’s a theory that women rarely speak truth to power, not unless it’s in their best interest. Indeed, the theory goes, truth or lies are not really a consideration, it’s more about staying onside of power and influence. Keeping relationships and favour going, no matter the compromise.

Why did you need me to say something, before you spoke? And even then, you spoke more to appease, than to address. Two steps back.
It’s why, despite what I hear here, I’ll always believe that men should lead in most areas and in most situations.

As distasteful as I found that tone, I did not mention it. I posted to address the repugnant dehumanising things that were being said about OP and her situation. That I found disgusting.

Afterall now, it seems that in context, anyone that is not - by whatever measure - equal to or above another person, may not actually be considered worthy to be treated like one.

Anyway, I understand that you both had to coat-tail me. Bowing to male leadership – it’s instinctive .

Anyways, have a great weekend

Doveda, originally, I was going to ignore, be scathing, or dismissive of your mention. But I realise none of those refute. So I replied, not really knowing you, and still had to edit a number of times, to ensure I didn’t lose the message in my scorn.

But now, having read some of your posts, painting you as someone who claims to be an avid feminist, I really should have gone with my instinct. You actually doubled down on something that was horrible to think, let alone say, whatever you believe, let alone for a self-proclaimed feminist?

Ranchhoddas, because of my response to her, you called me womens wrapper. It will sit nicely in my collection, which contains others, including; Pharisee, sexist, misogynist, hater of women, bully of women, talker downer on women, and my personal favourite “chauvinist”. I’ve also been called the M, C and F words, but I’m not actually old or bold enough to repeat those in full. I can’t believe I haven’t be labelled a feminist, upon all my effort .

It’s bathtime - not mine - but I may be back for the backbiters and, gainsayers - if I find the time and inclination.


TV

tearoses:


We cant argue
We can discuss

You haven't really given specific examples on her being pampered
The old thread is thrashed and to be honest I cant remember the majority of it
People have pointed to other threads where she wanted to exchange sexual favours for cash

Is that being pampered?
selling your body for money?
Do you know how dirty and dehumanised that must make her feel?

I just want to fully understand where this enjoys being pampered stems from
I would not want to swap lives with her, so I am trying to understand how she is having it easy
She was with a man up until 3 months ago
if the man hadnt fecked up and done a runner on her/abused her, she wouldn't be here.

I think we are punishing her for her misdemeanours 2 years ago
No doubt she made another wrong choice of man number 2

DId I read somewhere that man number one was a drug dealer and was jailed
or have I confused this story with another one?

Ranchhoddas:
Abeg make we hear word!! People from privileged backgrounds always like to delude themselves that there is something they are doing right that the people at the other end of the spectrum are not doing. Are you trying to tell us that your 'Rothschild' background had nothing to do with whatever it is you have achieved? You see those people that you and your ilk love to deride as lazy and slothful, subject them to the same conditions you were (financial, consanguine and otherwise) and see if they would not achieve the same thing you have and even more. Your comment is actually an insult to the real hustlers- you don carry 'kpon-kpon' before? Na so DJ Cuppy go come tell us say she self dey hustle hard. I'll advise you to read Ecclesiastes 9:11 and meditate upon it before you type yeye things like this.

doveda:
Hustling is hustling Mr man