Sweetcypress:
don't see bpnything wrong with that. Your husband's mother should be your mother too. If you're too good to her and treat her as your mother, she won't bite

Mayflowa:


To be harshly frank with you. My mother is an angel to many people but there are some people my mum don't just like. No matter how will talk her out of it. The look on her face when such people come near or do anything, u go believe. lol. So my wife would be dead duck if she would be one of such few persons. Anyway such coincidence won't even happen!

For sure, some people are really skilled in studying people and getting warm to them. You are lucky to be. That can't be spoken of the generality of people especially wives who think their position is threaten and facing imminent usurp. Like you, I too can live with anyone peacefully. But I understand the difference in people and can't hold them accountable to it.

Loisemm:
How many of you would not mind your mother Inlaw who just retired and is not sick or needing medical attention come and live with you and hubby permanently?!
My friend's mother Inlaw is planning to do this. My friend is not comfortable with it at all but has resigned her mind to it.

The mother Inlaw often visits them and spends weeks and months with them even though she does not get along with the wife. The wife told me the mama never wanted her first son to marry and would have preferred he continues to bear children outside wedlock. He had a child before marriage. They have children of theirs now.

Sincerely, I can't undastand the rationale behind a mother moving into her son's house without invitation or permission. Is it fair?

Note -she has a married daughter o. Is it not better for her to live with her daughter if her and her daughter in-law dont get along? This lady now has strong cause to believe the mama is out to break her home. Would she now be receptive to her coming to live with them permanently?

Sweetcypress:
I don't see anything wrong with that. Your husband's mother should be your mother too. If you're too good to her and treat her as your mother, she won't bite

kingphilip:
are you married??

Ujoan:


What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.

Ujoan:


What if he daughter's husband doesn't want her in their house.Its his house after all and we all know how Nigerian men think. The woman is afterall his wife's mother not his.

On the other hand, the woman wants to move into her SON's house, the son she bore and nurtured and made a man out of her loins. Abi your friend doesn't think she deserves to reap the fruit of her labour in her own son's house

A lot of men get married and still live with their wives in their parents home, with their parents still alive. So why can't mama move into her son's house

As far as she's not causing any troubles for the couple, I don't see this as a big problem.

Your friend needs to be a little more receptive towards other people.

AfroKnight:
Just look at these ladies. They have forgotten that they will become mothers in law one day. Just look at the nonsense they are saying. Na somebody marry these ones o.

You cannot stop his mother from moving in unless you are evil. She is his mother and they are related by blood and genes. You on the other hand were married.

You can divorce a wife but not a mother. Better respect the bond between a man and his family before marrying him.

The good woman raised him to be a good catch for you but now you want to relegate her.

The man will decide not you. Nonsense.

---

As expected, a couple of wicked jezebels have quoted me. You have no choice. The mother raised the man and you will not have authority over her unless you want your daughters in law to dictate when you visit your own sons. Make una go siddon. Nonsense.

sisisioge:


She's troublesome, so implied the OP.

bilulu:

1. Don't forget one day u will become a mother in law too n u would want to move into ur son's house...... Expect same treatment
2. If she didn't took care of him he wouldn't be become d responsible gentleman u met n admired.
3. If she didn't pay ur bride price mind u, u won't call dat house ur home.......
I logged on Jux to respond to ur comment

1) I would never move into my son's house. God keeping my husband and I alive, that would be the time to relish on our youth. Holidaying and all that shii

2)If my parents didn't take care of me, he won't see me and admire me either.

3) I didn't force him to pay bride price, if he didn't pay_ another man will pay. What else?
Price brice of N5? Na im cause all this one? Toor!

Sweetcypress:
I don't see anything wrong with that. Your husband's mother should be your mother too. If you're too good to her and treat her as your mother, she won't bite

PaperLace:


1) I would never move into my son's house. God keeping my husband and I alive, that would be the time to relish on our youth. Holidaying and all that shii

2)If my parents didn't take care of me, he won't see me and admire me either.

3) I didn't force him to pay bride price, if he didn't pay_ another man will pay. What else?
Price brice of N5? Na im cause all this one? Toor!

AfroKnight:
Just look at these ladies. They have forgotten that they will become mothers in law one day. Just look at the nonsense they are saying. Na somebody marry these ones o.

You cannot stop his mother from moving in unless you are evil. She is his mother and they are related by blood and genes. You on the other hand were married.

You can divorce a wife but not a mother. Better respect the bond between a man and his family before marrying him.

The good woman raised him to be a good catch for you but now you want to relegate her.

The man will decide not you. Nonsense.

---

As expected, a couple of wicked jezebels have quoted me. You have no choice. The mother raised the man and you will not have authority over her unless you want your daughters in law to dictate when you visit your own sons. Make una go siddon. Nonsense.

shala01:

the woman never talk wetin she dey fine. The son can still take good care of his mum from the mum's House. I will not allow it. If as a man my mum is staying with me, I expect her to get along with her daughter in law. If there trouble between them, they settle it themselves otherwise I will kick both of them out of my House

bilulu:

God keeping u n ur husband alive... Gud prayers but one Wil die leaving d oda den u will disturb ur children...... Dis is Africa n don't forget no old people home n mind u life is turn by turn so urs will surely come. Again it's only a bad wife with bad intention n who is self centered dat won't want her mother in law around. And last na girls like una dey sabi kolobi their children under their pants..... Waiting for ur quote cuz na me n u today. U must change

Oga...I said I won't leave my house to live with anyone ooo.
Is it by force?

I will never disturb my children, they should enjoy their marriage independent of me.
Stop shifting goal post! The issue isn't allowing MIL come around, but staying permanently. I can't even live permanently with my own mother in my matrimonial home, if I wanted to be stuck on her, I won't get married.
If my husband wants to be stuck with his mom, then he should have married her.

mnairaland:


Which other way is there if you.can't afford to house her.[center][/center]

Most women who are good wives are bad daughter-in-laws. So, without having to spell it out, all bad wives are usually bad DIL.

Any woman who cannot accomodate her MIL,even if she is a witch, is a bad DIL.

To be honest, a lot of MIL are unreasonable, but the root of DIL/MIL problem is the fact that many DIL have their minds already prigrammed wrongly about MIL.

The truth is this, even if a woman's MIL is a witch the womsn can still disarm her and end up making her her best friend and ally.

The real primary reason why MIL's have issues with their DIL's is because they have fears and the primary reason DIL's have issues with their MIL is because they
have fears.

There are certain basic things that can be done to to disarm a bad MIL.

1.Identify her fears.
2. Allay her fears.
3.Recipricate love for hatred, kindness for unkindness.
4. Take her as your mother.
5.Treat her as you wouod treat your mother(that is if you treat your mother well otherwise, treat her right right.
6.Confront you fears.
7.Get rid of you fears.
8.Re-program your mind to be pisitively dispossed towards her.
9.Pray
10.Watch her change.

cc: Loisemm, sisisioge

Benbobola:

I get your point bro. But you still don't know women. You are talking because you are viewing it from a man's position. You have never heard about MIL who decide to be cooking for their sons even when the wife tries her best to satisfy? MILs that say their son stayed in their womb for 9 months, they raised him to be the man that he is today therefore, they are the ones best suited to cook his best meals. U can never predict women, brother. Be it the DIL or MIL, any of them could provoke each other no matter how nice they "pretend" to be to each other, then the beef starts. The beat thing is to nip it in the bud and prevent it. Na woman we dey talk about o!

Benbobola:

I get your point bro. But you still don't know women. You are talking because you are viewing it from a man's position. You have never heard about MIL who decide to be cooking for their sons even when the wife tries her best to satisfy? MILs that say their son stayed in their womb for 9 months, they raised him to be the man that he is today therefore, they are the ones best suited to cook his best meals. U can never predict women, brother. Be it the DIL or MIL, any of them could provoke each other no matter how nice they "pretend" to be to each other, then the beef starts. The beat thing is to nip it in the bud and prevent it. Na woman we dey talk about o!

PaperLace:


lol.
I guess women broke outta coconuts.
Why can't a family respect the bond between a man and his wife?
Couples need space!
Why is it always the man's family putting up this superiority complex.
Wasn't the wife born by a woman too?
Once a woman gets married, her family hands off_ they'll even tell her to stay there o...sort out issues, don't come back here. 'but husband's family...mba!

Oh yes, I will become a MIL one day, I love my space so much_ I doubt I would ever be able to manage a lil space in someone else's house. Major reason I rarely do 'holidays'.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying she shouldn't allow her MIL stay but I hate hearing that emboldened line.

Sweetcypress:

I'm not, but does singlehood affect people's reasoning? It's just my point of view