Stats: 3,189,001 members, 7,936,212 topics. Date: Saturday, 31 August 2024 at 08:11 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / A Message To Nigerian Americans (2375 Views)
18-year-old Boy Died Weeks After He Posted A Message About Death On Instagram / Apology To Nigerian Men! / Advice For The Homecoming Nigerian Americans!!! (2) (3) (4)
A Message To Nigerian Americans by piperson(m): 9:34am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Good morning to everyone, especially Nigerian Americans. They need it most. Happy elections. Don't think I'm crazy for greeting you happy elections, in Nigeria we greet people about everything. You have to get used to this now because you are coming back home. So, Eku election. I very much understand that you will soon be sent packing from there, so I have taken it upon myself to prepare you for the transition. You have just a little time left there, utilize that time to learn more about Nigeria that you are coming back to. In Nigeria, we don't have light. Buy power bank while coming. Don't say I didn't tell you. Buy power Bank from there because the ones here are just like your marriages, they don't last. Buy a quality one from the abroad when coming. Also, make sure you charge your phone full before coming here. You should also save money for generator. Buy rechargeable lamps and plenty torchlight too. Also, save enough money for subscription. There is no free WiFi here. For those of you that will be settling in Lokoja, Jidenna and Co, I'll advice you to buy a glo line. Their network is strong. Save enough money for emergency transport. You will be deported to Nigeria and by the time you get to the airport, you will need to board a keke from the airport to the badagry refugee centre, from where your ancestors had been shipped to America before. Fuel don cost, transport don increase. Do you eat moi moi? Learn it. In Nigeria you cannot sit down and order pizza anytime you want. The only order you can make is when you yell to the moi moi seller across the road to bring hot moi moi for you. Learn proper home training. In Nigeria the only time the police will arrest your parents for hitting you is after you are dead already. And they will later settle the case as "a family affair". If you think you can come here to speak 'innit' for your parents, it's the neighbours that will help them beat you. Are you a graduate? Doesn't matter. There is no job. Your American accent will not give you a job, except your father knows someone who knows another person that knows a politician, you won't have a job. Dear American Lover Boy, akwa ibom girl will not go Dutch with you. As a matter of fact, no Naija girl will go Dutch with you. You have to prove your masculinity by paying for the date. No one is splitting the bills with you when you take a girl on a date. Learn the Nigerian names of common products. No one will sell "sausage rolls" for you. If you can't call it the Nigerian name- "Gala", no one would have time for you. Noodles is "Indomie". Pasta is "spaghetti". All seasoning is "maggi". Dear American girl, you cannot dress anyhow you like. Your neighbours will eye you. The random old woman in the market will hiss at you. The random lady in the bus will preach to you. The area boys will jeer you. You might want to report "harassment" to the police, they will arrest you for indecent dressing. Dear lovers, in Nigeria we don't show public display of affection. You cannot be kissing your boyfriend under the rain. The old woman passing by will invoke thunder to strike the both of you. These are some of the basic tips to help you adapt after you have been deported. More to come in the evening. FROM ME............ 2 Likes 1 Share
|
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by makydebbie(f): 9:40am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Lol...funny write up ![]() ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by sinaj(f): 9:50am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Lwkmd ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by CivilzedTyger(m): 9:51am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Who told you that they'll be deported 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:10am On Nov 10, 2016 |
hahhahhahahh ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by piperson(m): 10:13am On Nov 10, 2016 |
makydebbie:lol thanks |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:25am On Nov 10, 2016 |
CivilzedTyger: Don't mind him, what they don't seem to understand is that only ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS are the ones he CAN deport. And Canada will be their next option NOT Nigeria 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:27am On Nov 10, 2016 |
lovelygurl: pause?? ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:30am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:33am On Nov 10, 2016 |
lovelygurl: ![]() ![]() not doing anything here too ![]() They asked me to look up a Website, I'm reading the Website and surfing through nairaland too ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:34am On Nov 10, 2016 |
ellacute45: Lool if they catch you ehn ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:35am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:39am On Nov 10, 2016 |
1 Like |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by CivilzedTyger(m): 10:39am On Nov 10, 2016 |
lovelygurl:The illegal immigrants are even sources of cheap labour |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Jay542(m): 10:42am On Nov 10, 2016 |
Lol ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:43am On Nov 10, 2016 |
CivilzedTyger:No. America already has a favorite cheap labor source ,Mexican immigrants/ illegals And those big companies that outsource abroad were they can misuse another countries poor. ......America.....land of opportunity ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by CivilzedTyger(m): 10:47am On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff:we're saying the same thing, you mentioned illegals. So? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 10:51am On Nov 10, 2016 |
CivilzedTyger:Generally.... usually they are Mexican illegals. I think that's do to the fact we get so many Mexican illegals because they cross right over into the state of Texas because it borders Mexico. |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by MilesLamar(m): 10:58am On Nov 10, 2016 |
it's good guys check my signature... you can also join my WhatsApp group for more help and information.. https:///JLNP3Hr8RmWLmLEV5T8WUS |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by CivilzedTyger(m): 10:58am On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff:I got you |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by firstking01(m): 1:58pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by helinues: 3:14pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
You be correct guy.. |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by khiaa(f): 6:12pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff: Yeah and California where I live, it is so many of them to the point that they are the majority and have taken California back. For those of you who didn't know, California and Texas use to be part of Mexico. @ op, that write up was hilarious. ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 6:28pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
khiaa:Yeah,California ,Texas and New Mexico used ta be part of Mexico ~~ And they don't hold California ,with Hollywood,orange county ,San Fransisco etc cuties fulla white folk ![]() ~~~ But they are many here in Texas, though they haven't "taken it back". |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by khiaa(f): 6:38pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff: Arizona, Nevada also and Texas is huge, larger than alot of countries so I guess it will take alot for them to become the majority. California is big but not like Texas. I haven't met a Texan who wasn't inlove with Texas ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 6:58pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
khiaa:Not a Texan,from Arkansas. Hi ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by khiaa(f): 7:16pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff: I'm from Cali. When I was 13 years old I went to Little Rock, which was supposed to be for my whole summer vacation, I lasted 2 weeks (culture shock) ![]() ![]() |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 7:24pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
khiaa:Woah,that was my life. But I stayed outside a small town I didn't have ta get up at 5am to pick my mama'a garden we did that later in the day But I got up that early just ta make it 2 school. The mosquitos were hell out there, I remember when I 1st moved to my city I was so happy ta be rid of them You want country life and I wanted out of it. |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by khiaa(f): 9:00pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ItsMePuffPuff: We (the kids) had to get up early to pick the crops so that my uncle could sell them at the market early that morning, speaking of the market, that was the only excitement I had for the 2 weeks I was there because the neighbors were so far away. Lord have mercy, how could I ever forget about those mosquitos, that was torture. |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by Nobody: 8:42am On Nov 12, 2016 |
khiaa:oh,he owned a farm. That's neat. |
Re: A Message To Nigerian Americans by khiaa(f): 8:03pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Affordable Hiab , Crane And Other Equipment Rental Services / See What Was Captured From The Sky JULY 9 / Elephant Seen Helping A Lion Cub To A Watering Hole
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 39 |