Zinny25:
I have posted similar thing In the romance section but I'm still confused. That's why I still have to seek of the opinions of the married. A guy loves me so much and wants to get married to me but I don't love him at all. I have tried to love him but I don't seem to find anything attractive about him. Meanwhile I have loved other guys in the past who broke my heart. Now I don't want to just settle for this guy since he's still there because I seriously don't feel anything for him. His calls alone irritates me. Now my mum is forcing me to settle down with the guy, she claims I wld learn to love him, that after all the ones I love hv all disappointed me. Please help me out

Zinny25:
I have posted similar thing In the romance section but I'm still confused. That's why I still have to seek of the opinions of the married. A guy loves me so much and wants to get married to me but I don't love him at all. I have tried to love him but I don't seem to find anything attractive about him. Meanwhile I have loved other guys in the past who broke my heart. Now I don't want to just settle for this guy since he's still there because I seriously don't feel anything for him. His calls alone irritates me. Now my mum is forcing me to settle down with the guy, she claims I wld learn to love him, that after all the ones I love hv all disappointed me. Please help me out

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP

Treat the fundamental issues first to avoid making a costlier future life mistake.

Firstly, could you pinpoint the actual reason(s) the men you loved dumped you (broke your heart)? There's a real need for you to better yourself first. If you have a bad attribute that had caused the men you loved to break your heart, then learn the good version of such attribute and have it as an attitude.

What's your definition of a romantic love? As ambiguous as its, yet one's ability to define what truly constitute love for oneself, is the first step towards finding a matching partner. Definiteness of purpose is very important when wishing to establish anything meaningful.

Do you know of at least 10 good attributes an opposite sex can possess that would make you stick with him in good and bad situations? This is about self-realization. . . . Only a self-realized person should talk about committing to a marriage which is a lifetime union - under sane and sincere arrangement.

The above assignment when done with honesty would enable you to know if the present guy that loves you - one whom you dislike - would make a good husband for you in the long run.

NLbully:
Don't go for him if you dont love him cz your mum isn't the one to get you the man you love,just be patient and the right man will come

#Peace

Zinny25:
I have posted similar thing In the romance section but I'm still confused. That's why I still have to seek of the opinions of the married. A guy loves me so much and wants to get married to me but I don't love him at all. I have tried to love him but I don't seem to find anything attractive about him. Meanwhile I have loved other guys in the past who broke my heart. Now I don't want to just settle for this guy since he's still there because I seriously don't feel anything for him. His calls alone irritates me. Now my mum is forcing me to settle down with the guy, she claims I wld learn to love him, that after all the ones I love hv all disappointed me. Please help me out

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP

Treat the fundamental issues first to avoid making a costlier future life mistake.

Firstly, could you pinpoint the actual reason(s) the men you loved dumped you (broke your heart)? There's a real need for you to better yourself first. If you have a bad attribute that had caused the men you loved to break your heart, then learn the good version of such attribute and have it as an attitude.

What's your definition of a romantic love? As ambiguous as its, yet one's ability to define what truly constitute love for oneself, is the first step towards finding a matching partner. Definiteness of purpose is very important when wishing to establish anything meaningful with long durability.

Do you know of at least 10 good attributes an opposite sex can possess that would make you stick with him in good and bad situations? This is about self-realization. . . . Only a self-realized person should talk about committing to a marriage which is a lifetime union - under sane and sincere arrangement.

The above assignment when done with honesty would enable you to know if the present guy that loves you - one whom you dislike - would make or not a good husband for you in the long run.

When one love another based on the good attributes s/he possesses which you cherish, your love for such a person tends to increase on minute basis. Peace, happiness and prosperity are assured and guaranteed in the long run.

However, when one love another based on his/her superficiality (if the nice persona aren't products of attributes), the connection tends to wane on minute basis, because it's always more like infatuation. . . . Peace, prosperity and happiness are not assured or guaranteed in the long run.

sisisioge:


Chai! I remember you dude...you were the guy with plenty English! Biko, she already doesn't find anything attractive about him...she can't stand him...he annoys her. Biko, wetin remain? Your assignment should be carried out on others not this one, IMO. But then, it is my opinion.

Diplomaticbeing:


Hahaha! See me way de find means to learn some big english from you, here you come de yab me indirectly.

On a more serious note, and on the contrary to your contribution nay counter to some of my opinions here, the OP didn't state why she doesn't find the available guy attractive. So there's no point to conclude yet. Yes, the eyes must first eat and get satisfied before any other thing follows, when one want to establish a honest and purposeful relationship with an opposite sex. But I don't think that the OP dislike his physical structure, else they wouldn't have been friends since 5 past years as she claimed (I may be wrong). If my guess is correct, then what's it that the OP doesn't find attractive about him? This necessitated my questions and counsel's to her in that first post here.

For instance, she not liking her voice on the least could be as a result of built-up prejudice. And she loving the other men that didn't love her could be because of a mundane thing like those men arrogant exhibitions instead of a good thing like their civility.

Happy Sunday.

Diplomaticbeing:


Hahaha! See me way de find means to learn some big english from you, here you come de yab me indirectly.

On a more serious note, and on the contrary to your contribution nay counter to some of my opinions here, the OP didn't state why she doesn't find the available guy attractive. So there's no point to conclude yet. Yes, the eyes must first eat and get satisfied before any other thing follows, when one want to establish a honest and purposeful relationship with an opposite sex. But I don't think that the OP dislike his physical structure, else they wouldn't have been friends since 5 past years as she claimed (I may be wrong). If my guess is correct, then what's it that the OP doesn't find attractive about him? This necessitated my questions and counsel's to her in that first post here.

For instance, she not liking her voice on the least could be as a result of built-up prejudice. And she loving the other men that didn't love her could be because of a mundane thing like those men arrogant exhibitions instead of a good thing like their civility.

Happy Sunday.

Richy4:
I will suggest you stop wasting the young man's time... Tell him honestly that it will not work..... If you do not know how to break up with him, use the ancient style...."It is not you, it's me......" at least it is true...

Why are you still holding on to him....air time he would have used to call other sisters that has been fasting and praying for any how man, he was using it to call you....Biko free him....Besides that time and age your mum was talking about, where man or a woman learn to love each other is no longer existing except in India...So do not kid yourself in holding on....

Zinny25:
I have told him I don't love him. But he said I'm the one for him that he doesn't feel peace with another woman, that he has tried to forget about me but he couldn't. He said I should pray about it and seriously praying for someone u don't love it's difficult, I prayed but I didn't see or hear anything. I had to call our pastor to tell him that I don't love this guy. How else do I do it. I don't call him, I don't always pick his calls, I don't say I miss or love him

Zinny25:
Thank you. But what I mean by being friends for more than five years is due to the fact that we attend the same church, we used to be in the same Sunday sch class, I think I should rather use the word brethren not friends. We are just church members though I know he likes me because he gets little gift for me when I'm bk home for holidays. I hv never told him I love him, in fact the day he proposed I was shocked because we have never dated, I don't call him, I don't even know his birthday. I don't visit him in his house because I feel bored with him. I remembered there was a time I tried to love him, I told him to visit me when I was serving so as to know if we can work out something, but can you believe I barely stay up to 30mins with him without finding fault, I don't let him hold my hands, not to talk of hug, the day he tried to just put his hand on my shoulder I felt it was soldier and that was there. I warned him never to hold me or touch me. So u see I don't have any emotional feelings for him. I can be in a room with him for a month and nothing will happen.

Zinny25:
Thank you. But what I mean by being friends for more than five years is due to the fact that we attend the same church, we used to be in the same Sunday sch class, I think I should rather use the word brethren not friends. We are just church members though I know he likes me because he gets little gift for me when I'm bk home for holidays. I hv never told him I love him, in fact the day he proposed I was shocked because we have never dated, I don't call him, I don't even know his birthday. I don't visit him in his house because I feel bored with him. I remembered there was a time I tried to love him, I told him to visit me when I was serving so as to know if we can work out something, but can you believe I barely stay up to 30mins with him without finding fault, I don't let him hold my hands, not to talk of hug, the day he tried to just put his hand on my shoulder I felt it was soldier and that was there. I warned him never to hold me or touch me. So u see I don't have any emotional feelings for him. I can be in a room with him for a month and nothing will happen.