Good evening Nlers.
I'm a eighteen year old. From a family of five. The only son with extra strict parents. A lot has been happening right from my childhood down till now and my parents are of the view that I'm an apology.

I wasn't the brightest in school. I'm above average nd particularly led my class in my core subjects. I wrote my wassce in 2014. I cleared my papers except math nd literature. Agreed. I'm a dumbo at math but literature.... All students failed because a classmate was caught with a phone. Thus, I became the first in my family to fail o'level.

I registered for neco gce nd failed even more cos there was high expo there. My jamb score was 223 that yr for an imposed course, Law.

2015,i registered neco again at a school known for expo. However, before the expo was brought into the hall, I would have answered all my questions nd was only helped in maths. They called me a textbook in the school. I had B's all through but my father thinks it was expo that helped me. At 2015 , my jamb score was 257. U.I f'd me up. Law again.

This yr, jamb did the unthinkable. After popping coffee all night to study nd reading all day to the extent that i lost weight, i had 212. Y'all know how jamb was. Now I ddnt gain admission for law.... I'm being blamed now for jambs incompetence.

A who bunch of other things relating to education where i've been gravely misunderstood are untold.

But, that's just abt education.

Must it be law? You could have gone for another course

About sex. I was introduced to sex at a very tender age. 6 precisely by one of those big aunties. Consitently abused till age nine. However, since then, I havent had sex. Maybe this is the reason why anything sexual gets me erect in a flash but I can't help it. I've tried but I get erect most times even when I'm not thinking of sex. I may lie down to sleep nd wake up erect to discover someone saw me. Or maybe I'm just chatting on phone, not anything related to sex, I'll get erect. My fam have seen me dodging this several times. They think I'm having sex. They think I'm a pervert nd think every girl is unsafe with me. Its not lack of chance that's made me not have sex, I want to, but it doesnt seem right, si i just abstained.

A female friend got me 1500# airtime on my bday last yr. Her bday came nd I decided to repay her buy buying a sandal for her.. Mum saw it nd concluded that I had a gf nd was having sex. The house has been hell for me. Dad heard nd now every single wrong I do, I get to hear about my rapist tendencies nd numerous girlfriend ion know abt.

I'm handsome, i look like dad. Very handsome so they think I'm using that to get girls.

I've been depressed severally and thought of suicide many times... A whole lot of other things have happened too which i cant say

Like when i was 12 nd was sprouting pubic hair. Ws so fascinated that i used to pull the hair evrynight to make sure it was there. Mum entered my room at night nd caught my hands in my boxer, I was doing my nightly check. She screamed, said i was masturbating. Ddnt even know what the word meant. Since then They knew me at home as a porn addict nd masturbator... i ddnt even know what they meant.

Tat's abt sex

waleyp:
Must it be law? You could have gone for another course

according to my father, any course other than law, med nd engineering is for lazy people.. Even art...nd that's my talent, I make wonders with pencil

I really feel for you Op.

Wish your mother could calm down and understand you.

about friends.

I move with responsible friends as I'm quick to sieve out bad ones.

My friend have style. They dress nice, barb stylish cuts like low layers nd low cut.

My parents use hairstyle to judge my friends. If the haircut is high, the guy is a smoker, rapist, cultist and whatever, just name it. Even the ones with low cut don't escape. I grew up practically locked inside the house till now. I'm given no room to talk to anyone outside.

Dad saw a junior of mine from the school i finished from. The dude was only informing me of their upcoming inter-house sports at school nd was inviting me. I was called inside the house and welcomed with punches nd slaps from dad who was a former karate guru. Why? because the boy usually ddnt greet him. I was punched to stupour.

Now, they think I smoke weed..... They are even convinced that I do. I gave a barber money to help me mix stuffs that'll help hair that was thinning. The man mixed weed in it. I applied it nd it worked. Mum found out nd now I'm a chain smoker... She's told dad nd they both think i'm a smoker cos i sumtimes react angrilly due to the irritation from the fact that i'm still home when my friend are in school. The call it the effect of weed.

Why am i telling nl? I don't know. I've got no one to talk to.
I'm amidst my fam but feel like an outcast.

Tis is just a tip of what I'm going tru

My candid opinion:
1) Don't live your life for anyone. Regret is an evil witch!!! If art is your passion go for it. Your parents are probably not going to be around in the next 50 years and that's when you'll realize that they lived your life for you!!!

2) Get a grip of your emotions. Find what makes and keeps you happy and bury yourself in it when wahala starts. Depression is the younger sister to regret. People will always have their own opinions about you, if you let that dictate your happiness, you're doomed!!

3) Find something to get you out of the house and keep you busy. A job,whatever. Start earning your own money,start being independent in the little ways you can. It'll definitely make you feel better.

thank you so much. I'll act on number 1 nd 2. Number three is impossible. Only school can get me out of the house. I respect my parents a lot tho. I have plans to go into agriculture in my third yr... Build an agro company nd start an empire from there... Before 23... Sadly, they think ion have any plans for tomorrow.

Thanks again

bleble24:
I really feel for you Op.

Which your mother could calm down and understand you.

bros, na so life be with me now o.

life just throws lot of punches and it might even be coming from people we call family, I hope you get out of it stronger....

DrIkB:
life just throws lot of punches and it might even be coming from people we call family, I hope you get out of it stronger....

thank yu. I know I will

I like you for being real. We all have challenges some of which are unshareable. But in your case, youll get over it with time. They're all challenges peculiar to ur stage of life some are going thru tougher ones. You don't want to be an orphan house help to an unknown intolerant family. Some of your mate are going thru that right now because they lost their parents and were thrown outta of their fathers house by relatives

So encourage yourself boi. No challenge is worth making you a gangstar. If you yield and become one, it means the challenges overcame you. You should rather overcome it so you'll use your experience to father your children and husband your wife in future.

Baby boy...you will be fine. Your folks are just trying to make sure you turned out socially correct but are going about it the wrong way.


Pls, can you just device a foul proof plan to pass jamp at the next try? Just give it your best shot to help get you some level of freedom...till then, hang in there. You will be fine.

Why do you keep going to centers known for Expo? You see where you are self sabotaging? If maths is your challenge, sit down and work it. Maths is not hard at all, we just have very bad teachers in Nigeria. They do not know how to teach, neither do they know the fundamentals of what they are teaching. And they like to scare students with ridiculous scoring techniques to cover up their incompetence.

As for Jamb, why can't you use your 257 score? JAMB is now valid for a number of years. Please find out when that law took effect to see if your 257 can be used for the next admission cycle. Forget what your father is saying about that score. You are the one sitting at home, not him. If he doesn't want to help you process admission on the score, you find money and attempt the processing yourself. You are a man at 18.

Please and please, do not let any words put you down. Nigerian parents think being abusive towards their kids is constructive criticism. It's not. You are frustrated which is to be expected. So you need to help yourself. Let go of the frustration and all the harsh words and get to work. Don't wait till last minute to study for JAMB. You don't need to pull all nighter for JAMB if you prepare over a good amount of time.

If law is where you see yourself you will make it in. All these failures are a set up for your future study habits. With the way you study last minute and rely on expo, you will have failed in Uni. Change your study habit and commit to 3hrs daily at least 6months to JAMB. Also try to find something to do to occupy and develop your mind outside of your study time. Something positive like learning a trade.

Believe in yourself, not what your parents, friends and strangers believe you to be. Ask yourself who you want to be and what you want to be. Then work hard to make that possible. Zone out all the noise.

18 and contemplating suicide? Take it easy. It's not that serious, it's just a phase everyone goes through. Soon as you gain an admission, I'm sure you won't feel that way. Don't be too hard on yourself. Talk to your parents they will listen at least if you tell them about depression and suicide.

FriedYam:
...I've been depressed severally and thought of suicide many times... A whole lot of other things have happened too which i cant say

You need to be friends and talk with your siblings too. Talk to them about how you feel about your parents, maybe they will help you tell them and work things out. Don't end up being spiteful to your parents because they are the only ones that would ever love you for you. You may find that out if you ever get into serious trouble. 10/10 it's your parents/family that would stick with you NOT your friends. Better to have your parents as allies.

FriedYam:
thank you so much. I'll act on number 1 nd 2. Number three is impossible. Only school can get me out of the house. I respect my parents a lot tho. I have plans to go into agriculture in my third yr... Build an agro company nd start an empire from there... Before 23... Sadly, they think ion have any plans for tomorrow.

Thanks again

Op, i understand ur plight. Ur parents love u nd want d best for u but they re going abt it d wrong way. Dont let those harsh words get to you, believe in yourself n always take those harsh words as a joke so it doesnt bother u much. I bet ull come out strong.

I don't even know what's in this law that arts students wanna die for. Many lawyers in Nigeria are poor and suffering. Why not do something like logistics or economics.

Don't let your parents decide for you. They can only decide for you because they brought you to this world BUT they can't always decide for you. So you are wasting time wasting years just because of LAW. How many people LAW Don epp now sef?

My pastor will always say"parents be friends with your children or else they would do what you wouldn't want them to do" most parents don't know that

---

African parent can be so confusing attimes

k

Lol

Yes u are a bad son just go to sambisa forest to reset and tell the Boko Haram commander to rest ur memory

Friedyam somebody said and I quote

When people laugh at you, the best way to revenge is to have massive success.

The best way is not to prove them right but to prove them wrong and the best way to achieve that is to do the opposite of what they think you to be

It's really hard to regain this lost trust but it's very much possible

I'll be expecting a better story soon from you

Probably start preparing even if it's from now for jamb so that you can score high marks

FriedYam:
About sex. I was introduced to sex at a very tender age. 6 precisely by one of those big aunties. Consitently abused till age nine. However, since then, I havent had sex. Maybe this is the reason why anything sexual gets me erect in a flash but I can't help it. I've tried but I get erect most times even when I'm not thinking of sex. I may lie down to sleep nd wake up erect to discover someone saw me. Or maybe I'm just chatting on phone, not anything related to sex, I'll get erect. My fam have seen me dodging this several times. They think I'm having sex. They think I'm a pervert nd think every girl is unsafe with me. Its not lack of chance that's made me not have sex, I want to, but it doesnt seem right, si i just abstained.

A female friend got me 1500# airtime on my bday last yr. Her bday came nd I decided to repay her buy buying a sandal for her.. Mum saw it nd concluded that I had a gf nd was having sex. The house has been hell for me. Dad heard nd now every single wrong I do, I get to hear about my rapist tendencies nd numerous girlfriend ion know abt.

I'm handsome, i look like dad. Very handsome so they think I'm using that to get girls.

I've been depressed severally and thought of suicide many times... A whole lot of other things have happened too which i cant say

Like when i was 12 nd was sprouting pubic hair. Ws so fascinated that i used to pull the hair evrynight to make sure it was there. Mum entered my room at night nd caught my hands in my boxer, I was doing my nightly check. She screamed, said i was masturbating. Ddnt even know what the word meant. Since then They knew me at home as a porn addict nd masturbator... i ddnt even know what they meant.

Tat's abt sex

Your family is similar to Fuji house of Commotion...

I don't really see your problem?

Hmm

Chai na wa o!

Dude, you are just a normal teenager going through self and sexual discovery. Most people here have been through similar pattern, some are lucky to have their privacy so they were probably never caught by parents or family.

You just need to focus and live your life. Nothing is wrong with you.

P.S Your parents should be happy that you are not GAY, cos these days ehn.