PresVA:
About asking him where the relationship is heading to, do you plan to settle with someone who's doing nothing and has no skills whatsoever

is he making efforts at all?

whatever shaa, I won't advise you marry someone who has nothing doing... atleast till he finds his feet.. finance is important in marriage.

PresVA:
About asking him where the relationship is heading to, do you plan to settle with someone who's doing nothing and has no skills whatsoever

is he making efforts at all?

whatever shaa, I won't advise you marry someone who has nothing doing... atleast till he finds his feet.. finance is important in marriage.

ammyluv2002:
I have 3 questions

1. Is he the lazy type? Does he even make efforts to apply for jobs? Do you see him as someone who likes hustling, someone who isn't comfortable with his current situation?

2. If the answer to the first question is yes then does he have the cash to acquire the kind of skills you want him to? Does he prefer to use the money he has to buy you gifts rather than developing himself?

3. Do you feel caged in the relationship? Do You feel pity for him? What are your reasons? Is it that he's jobless and he's not making any effort or Is it that he's jobless and the job isn't coming or you're not just cool with distance relationship?

bibiani:
According to him, he said I should be praying for him and give him my goodwill. That he is doing something concerning his results and all that. But I
don't see anything coming out of it. He isn't the hustling type either. Because where he staying in Owerri is not his place but he is staying with a particular family there. l believe he is comfortable with it cos he doesn't pay rent and many a time they feed him.
Secondly, l don't ask him to buy gifts for me, or ask him for money. He just do this things and tells me how much more if he has much and it makes me feel as though he is doing all these things thinking it will make stick to him more. As for the money to start up a skill; his parents, brother, Sister and uncles are still alive. l believe they can help him with funds if he is interested in under going training.
Thirdly, yes, l feel pity for him. l told him initially I don't do long distance relationship and long term relationship. He pleaded I give him two years. I thought 2013 which was the year I passed out, he will go for his own NYSC. Till date he hasn't gone. No job, no so skill at his age?

bibiani:
Hi everyone, l'm new here and this is my first time l am posting a topic. l know it is going to be lengthy.There is something bothering me and l need your thought on it. My story goes like this, l served in Enugu state in 2012 and I passed out on July 2013. Before I passed out, l enrolled in a project management course which took place at the state capital. l met this guy there, we kind of clicked and became friends. After the examination, we all went back to our destination, Fortunately he lives around the community I was serving. l thought he was a corps member like me. We got attracted to each other, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted, He also introduced me to his Mother, she welcomed me. Cos l visited him at his family house.everything happened so fast. I then asked where his PPA was that was when he told me that he is not a corper. l was disappointed. I then asked him how come he wrote the examination with us; He said it was through one of the agents that came to give us orientation in our fellowship. He told me he had issues with his results, because he attends Futo. All these happened in 2013. I told him I am not one that do long term relationship. He pleaded that I should give him 2years which I agreed. l encouraged him to get something doing even if it is little and still find a way to resolved the issue he is having in school. l don't ask him for money, l teach in a private school since there are no jobs but he does his best to make me happy, buys things and all that. But those things are not my problem. To me l feel he is forcing it.l want to ask him where the relationship is heading to when next we see eventually because I am not happy. For now he is doing nothing. He hasn't served, he has no skills. He is 33 while l'm 28. This was not what I envisaged. l have loosed interest in the whole thing and it is a distance relationship. I don't believe love is enough. I don't want to be in a relationship based on Pity. Advice, counseling and insults are welcomed, Thanks.

Richy4:
[b]what I can summarize in your write up is, u feel

<<<Biological clock is ticking
<<<You want someone that will say, let's head to the Altar tomorrow
<<<You are presumably looking for an already made maybe without investing...Remember U have to sow before you reap

It might be looking gloomy for this guy now... but you never can tell tomorrow...I understand Nigerian institution how pathetic they are when handling the futures of some students...
You are kinda desperate now and for you, love does not play a part....The way I see it, any one that shows you the slightest interest is whom the holy spirit says it was...Biko, I suggest you slow down a little..Things sometimes does not go the way we wanted it.... But you have to slow down and work towards it

Please think carefully before you make any move.... I wouldn't want you to fall into the hand of a wrong man who will capitalize on your quest to have a man and teach u one or two lessons .. and I will not want you to dump him now and later try to make a move to come back when things became ok with him...The way I see it, he likes u and even took you to his mama but for you, likeness and love is not enough for now...... I just hope you will not disturb his phone in future when he is trying to settle down with someone else....

I am not trying to prophesy here for the future but this kind of thing sometimes leads to infidelity when some men will not let go of their old crush....and the woman would not let the man relax and settle down with whom he has found as substitute.....knowing that she has made a hell of mistake in rushing into an unhappy marriage instead of waiting for who actually loved her [/b]

bibiani:
Thanks for the contribution but what works for A doesn't always work for B. l understand you think I should still stick around and all that. But my dear, l don't do long term dating and all that. l made it clear from the start. I was thinking he will sort himself out in two years time like he said. l mean, I don't get it? He said his course adviser is not always around and@ that if he knew he would have written JAMB a long time ago. If he has been wafted why not he tell me? okay, if you were in my shoes what will you do?

bibiani:
Thanks for the contribution but what works for A doesn't always work for B. l understand you think I should still stick around and all that. But my dear, l don't do long term dating and all that. l made it clear from the start. I was thinking he will sort himself out in two years time like he said. l mean, I don't get it? He said his course adviser is not always around and@ that if he knew he would have written JAMB a long time ago. If he has been wafted why not he tell me? okay, if you were in my shoes what will you do?

Richy4:
[b]what I can summarize in your write up is, u feel

<<<Biological clock is ticking
<<<You want someone that will say, let's head to the Altar tomorrow
<<<You are presumably looking for an already made maybe without investing...Remember U have to sow before you reap

It might be looking gloomy for this guy now... but you never can tell tomorrow...I understand Nigerian institution how pathetic they are when handling the futures of some students...
You are kinda desperate now and for you, love does not play a part....The way I see it, any one that shows you the slightest interest is whom the holy spirit says it was...Biko, I suggest you slow down a little..Things sometimes does not go the way we wanted it.... But you have to slow down and work towards it

Please think carefully before you make any move.... I wouldn't want you to fall into the hand of a wrong man who will capitalize on your quest to have a man and teach u one or two lessons .. and I will not want you to dump him now and later try to make a move to come back when things became ok with him...The way I see it, he likes u and even took you to his mama but for you, likeness and love is not enough for now...... I just hope you will not disturb his phone in future when he is trying to settle down with someone else....

I am not trying to prophesy here for the future but this kind of thing sometimes leads to infidelity when some men will not let go of their old crush....and the woman would not let the man relax and settle down with whom he has found as substitute.....knowing that she has made a hell of mistake in rushing into an unhappy marriage instead of waiting for who actually loved her [/b]

4tunebest:
Judging from your write up, it seems to me the guy gives you peace, even though he hasn't achieved much @ his age.

Been married a few years now and with the benefit of hindsight, I would advice you to be a little bit more patient with him. Even though its easy to write him off/give up on him due to his present state; only God knows the future, therefore:

Seek God's direction. When it comes to the issue of choosing a LIFE partner, we need the leading of He who sees the unknown and isn't limited by human wisdom.

4tunebest:


Seek God's direction. When it comes to the issue of choosing a LIFE partner, we need the leading of He who sees the unknown and isn't limited by human wisdom.

Cuddlebugie:
My dear, you have to 'remove' yourself from that state of dilemma and embrace tranquility.

A 33-year-old man without direction? PLEASEEEEE!!!.

You know what's right, do it.

sunvick:
Perhaps miracle can happen nah.

sunvick:
Perhaps miracle can happen nah.

Cuddlebugie:

The miracle of turning back the hands of time or what?

bibiani:
Hi everyone, l'm new here and this is my first time l am posting a topic. l know it is going to be lengthy.There is something bothering me and l need your thought on it. My story goes like this, l served in Enugu state in 2012 and I passed out on July 2013. Before I passed out, l enrolled in a project management course which took place at the state capital. l met this guy there, we kind of clicked and became friends. After the examination, we all went back to our destination, Fortunately he lives around the community I was serving. l thought he was a corps member like me. We got attracted to each other, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted, He also introduced me to his Mother, she welcomed me. Cos l visited him at his family house.everything happened so fast. I then asked where his PPA was that was when he told me that he is not a corper. l was disappointed. I then asked him how come he wrote the examination with us; He said it was through one of the agents that came to give us orientation in our fellowship. He told me he had issues with his results, because he attends Futo. All these happened in 2013. I told him I am not one that do long term relationship. He pleaded that I should give him 2years which I agreed. l encouraged him to get something doing even if it is little and still find a way to resolved the issue he is having in school. l don't ask him for money, l teach in a private school since there are no jobs but he does his best to make me happy, buys things and all that. But those things are not my problem. To me l feel he is forcing it.l want to ask him where the relationship is heading to when next we see eventually because I am not happy. For now he is doing nothing. He hasn't served, he has no skills. He is 33 while l'm 28. This was not what I envisaged. l have loosed interest in the whole thing and it is a distance relationship. I don't believe love is enough. I don't want to be in a relationship based on Pity. Advice, counseling and insults are welcomed, Thanks.

bibiani:
Hi everyone, l'm new here and this is my first time l am posting a topic. l know it is going to be lengthy.There is something bothering me and l need your thought on it. My story goes like this, l served in Enugu state in 2012 and I passed out on July 2013. Before I passed out, l enrolled in a project management course which took place at the state capital. l met this guy there, we kind of clicked and became friends. After the examination, we all went back to our destination, Fortunately he lives around the community I was serving. l thought he was a corps member like me. We got attracted to each other, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I accepted, He also introduced me to his Mother, she welcomed me. Cos l visited him at his family house.everything happened so fast. I then asked where his PPA was that was when he told me that he is not a corper. l was disappointed. I then asked him how come he wrote the examination with us; He said it was through one of the agents that came to give us orientation in our fellowship. He told me he had issues with his results, because he attends Futo. All these happened in 2013. I told him I am not one that do long term relationship. He pleaded that I should give him 2years which I agreed. l encouraged him to get something doing even if it is little and still find a way to resolved the issue he is having in school. l don't ask him for money, l teach in a private school since there are no jobs but he does his best to make me happy, buys things and all that. But those things are not my problem. To me l feel he is forcing it.l want to ask him where the relationship is heading to when next we see eventually because I am not happy. For now he is doing nothing. He hasn't served, he has no skills. He is 33 while l'm 28. This was not what I envisaged. l have loosed interest in the whole thing and it is a distance relationship. I don't believe love is enough. I don't want to be in a relationship based on Pity. Advice, counseling and insults are welcomed, Thanks.