troubledheart:


I'm not sure I can handle adoption.. if I ever keep this pregnancy to term, twont be easy giving him or her up wen I know it's my blood to an unknown fate without me in it. . The bond and all..I would want to keep it no matter how hard it would be.

Nooo insult intended but you seem selfish. It's not all about you dear, there is a life involved now and if it means giving him or her up for adoption rather than murder I think you should do it for your child's sake. Forget about your thoughts and save this life by giving him or her up for adoption if you can't cope

bbmpin:
The most important thing right now is the "supposed future" for the child

What "should really" matter to you is the child's future once he/she is born. Are its chances of a safe, secure future high enough?

Personally i would advice you to do the abortion.Don't bring an innocent soul into this world to suffer

If you are "sure" that the father will not be responsible don't keep it.

Its a publicly known fact that Dysfunctional homes and the improper Upbringings that it creates have an adverse effect on the children (mentally and socially)

Having said that ....... The choice is yours but think about the future of that "innocent child"

I wish you much strength and much wisdom.

Abortion is murder. Not giving a soul a chance to exist is pure wickedness. Every being deserves to live, She refused to learn with her first mistake, she should learn with her second

baby124:
OP,
It seems like in your heart you know this guy will not be a good husband, and you do not see him in your future. Because I see no reason why him not being ready to marry you is an excuse not to tell him about the pregnancy. He could change his mind and decide to struggle it out with you. I have a feeling there is more to what you are telling us. Was this a one night stand or friend's with benefits? Look, evaluate your life and do what is best for you. None of us here will help you take care of that child or give you money to feed. The ball is in your court. If you are big enough to have sex, you are big enough to face the consequences.

Changing his mind because I'm pregnant? .. I conceived unknowingly before we broke up and for the reason why we broke up I can't tell him. No, not a one night stand. Known him for close to 4years, friends for the better part and lovers for roughly a year.

troubledheart:


Can't tell them. I run my own business and currently about to start my masters. I'm doing OK for myself and I'm turning 26 soon. Giving birth isn't an issue like I said before, but giving the child a quality life.

Look Babygirl, you need help and your family should be the Nô. 1 confidant to run to in time of need. Don't shy away from them, you can't bear this burden alone.

troubledheart:


Changing his mind because I'm pregnant? .. I conceived unknowingly before we broke up and for the reason why we broke up I can't tell him. No, not a one night stand. Known in for close to 4years, friends for the better part and lovers for roughly a year.

Well yes. He could decide to marry you or support you. People marry for several reasons. It's his child he has a right to make the decision if he wants it or not. So do you. I think it is a decision that should be made by the both of you. I understand you not wanting to be a single mum to two kids from different father's and the accompanied stigma. You are young and want to improve your life. But in life things don't always work as planned. You need to tell him. If he's not a criminal or a bad person, give him the chance to decide if he wants to make a family with you. Not being ready for marriage does not mean he would not have married you if he was. Except you know something we don't here.

baby124:

Well yes. He could decide to marry you or support you. People marry for several reasons. It's his child he has a right to make the decision if he wants it or not. So do you. I think it is a decision that should be made by the both of you. I understand you not wanting to be a single mum to two kids from different father's and the accompanied stigma. You are young and want to improve your life. But in life things don't always work as planned. You need to tell him. If he's not a criminal or a bad person, give him the chance to decide if he wants to make a family with you. Not being ready for marriage does not mean he would not have married you if he was. Except you know something we don't here.

My dear.. I've suffered too much in relationships to end up in an unhappy home. I don't want to Marry a man because of a child. Yes I love him but love is never enough. He broke up with me, pregnancy now bringing us back together... doesn't just feel right for me. I want to be have a happy home weneva that happens and have a man be with me for other reasons not just a child..

troubledheart:


My dear.. I've suffered too much in relationships to end up in an unhappy home. I don't want to Marry a man because of a child. Yes I love him but love is never enough. He broke up with me, pregnancy now bringing us back together... doesn't just feel right for me. I want to be have a happy home weneva that happens and have a man be with me for other reasons not just a child..

Ok so will you want to end your life because you did not get your way all the time in life? Same way you cannot conclude that you will not try because you think he does not want to be with you or because all your relationships have been bad. Despite your previous bad relationships you still entered a new one.

Are you ashamed of people knowing you had an abortion because he did not want the child? You can't make any man marry you. Him deciding to marry you will be because he stepped up because life happened to you both. If he decides not to step up then you are free to do what is in your best interest. Do not make assumptions for him till he has had the opportunity to make his opinion known. If you are going to tell him, the earlier the better.

baby124:

Ok so will you want to end your life because you did not get your way all the time in life? Same way you cannot conclude that you will not try because you think he does not want to be with you or because all your relationships have been bad. Despite your previous bad relationships you still entered a new one.

Are you ashamed of people knowing you had an abortion because he did not want the child? You can't make any man marry you. Him deciding to marry you will be because he stepped up because life happened to you both. If he decides not to step up then you are free to do what is in your best interest. Do not make assumptions for him till he has had the opportunity to make his opinion known. If you are going to tell him, the earlier the better.

HHmmmmmmm.....will try to call him at dawn.. thanks.

troubledheart:

Thanks.. you should read all my post. I never screwed around and you should have read the part of my being careful. I conceived before we broke up. Thanks all the same.

I read every single letter you wrote. If you weren't screwing around, then tell me, signora - was it the Holy Spirit that had you impregnated? Ave Maria, Ora pro nobis!

There's no difference – at least to me – between screwing many people and screwing one person with whom you have no intention of having a future—they both fall under the category of casual sex.

Here's an excerpt from your initial post:

and I often assist my partner wen I can, yet I always end up loving the wrong ones

Are the wrong ones you speak of not those you've dated, and possibly had sexual relations with? How's that not screwing around?

That's unimportant anyway, the kernel of the issue here is your failure to learn from past experience by choosing time again to have sex with someone you hold no marital prospects for, while fully aware that contraceptives are not fail-proof, and mishaps like condom leakages linger forebodingly in the north wind.

Yes, we must all have sex at some point, and it reaches a time when dildøs and cucumbers lose their appeal, but given your antecedents, one would expect that whoever you choose to torque beneath the bed sheets with should be one who's already a cinched deal—not someone you can't even bring yourself to inform of your pregnancy.

And I'm wagering your first child was fathered by a different man. No?

Admit it, you were reckless and didn't give your actions much thought.
But, it's inutile wailing over spilled milk, and it's time to move on.

And the only way moving on can be made possible is surely not by MURDERING an innocent soul, but by having the balls to deal with the mistakes you've made.

Just sit down and decide what you'll do with it,All the comments i have seen,some have suggested Abortion or having the baby,you have one way or the other given them reasons Why you can't Abort or have the baby......
Let your Ex know about it,whatever he decides you can then work on that........you are the one wearing the shoe and you know where it pisses We can only advice which everyone has done,so it up to you now to choose which is worth it.....




Remember we are free to carry out our actions but we ain't free from the consequences of it,whatever you do ask your creator for direction......



Peace

Divay22:
Just sit down and decide what you'll do with it,All the comments i have seen,some have suggested Abortion or having the baby,you have one way or the other given them reasons Why you can't Abort or have the baby......
Let your Ex know about it,whatever he decides you can then work on that........you are the one wearing the shoe and you know where it pisses We can only advice which everyone has done,so it up to you now to choose which is worth it.....




Remember we are free to carry out our actions but we ain't free from the consequences of it,whatever you do ask your creator for direction......



Peace

Thanks a lot.

DarkRebel101:


I read every single letter you wrote. If you weren't screwing around, then tell me, signora - was it the Holy Spirit that had you impregnated? Ave Maria, Ora pro nobis!

There's no difference – at least to me – between screwing many people and screwing one person with whom you have no intention of having a future—they both fall under the category of casual sex.

Here's an excerpt from your initial post:

Are the wrong ones you speak of not those you've dated, and possibly had sexual relations with? How's that not screwing around?

That's unimportant anyway, the kernel of the issue here is your failure to learn from past experience by choosing time again to have sex with someone you hold no marital prospects for, while fully well that contraceptives are not fail-proof, and mishaps like condom leakages linger forebodingly in the north wind.

Yes, we must all have sex at some point, and it reaches a time when dildøs and cucumbers lose their appeal, but given your antecedents, one would expect that whoever you choose to torque beneath the bed sheets with should be one who's already a cinched deal—not someone you can't even bring yourself to inform him of your pregnancy.

And I'm wagering your first child was fathered by a different man. No?

Admit it, you were reckless and didn't give your actions much thought.
But, it's inutile wailing over spilled milk, and it's time to move on.

And the only way moving on can be made possible is surely not by MURDERING an innocent soul, but by having the balls to deal with the mistakes you've made.

Okay Ma or Sir? Thanks..

troubledheart:


Can't tell them. I run my own business and currently about to start my masters. I'm doing OK for myself and I'm turning 26 soon. Giving birth isn't an issue like I said before, but giving the child a quality life. I have too many things on my plate right now to actually do that.

Why do I get the feeling that this ex of yours is a married man?

Pidgin2:


Nooo insult intended but you seem selfish. It's not all about you dear, there is a life involved now and if it means giving him or her up for adoption rather than murder I think you should do it for your child. Forget about your thoughts and save this life by giving him or her up for adoption if you can't cope

How about condemning her or him to a far worse unknown fate.. I understand your point.. I wish it was as easy as it sounds.. thanks all the same. Would make a decision after talking to my oga at dawn.

Evina:


Why do I get the feeling that this ex of yours is a married man?

No he is 100percent not.. very much single. I'm certain.
He is two years older and has got a bright future ahead.. he is just coming up..

troubledheart:


HHmmmmmmm.....will try to call him at dawn.. thanks.

Good. Don't force an answer. Give him a little time to think about it. Also use this time to think and prepare yourself for either good or bad. You can give a week, and then you both come to a conclusion. Good or bad, whatever you decide, you will be fine. Just have a positive mind and focus on the future.

baby124:

Good. Don't force an answer. Give him a little time to think about it. Also use this time to think and prepare yourself for either good or bad. You can give a week, and then you both come to a conclusion. Good or bad, whatever you decide, you will be fine. Just have a positive mind and focus on the future.

Hmmmm.. okay.. thanks for all.

aflyingbird:
Yup , she's only looking at posts she agrees with . I suggested adoption buh I guess she doesn't want dat

What are you saying? Have you ever carried a baby to full term and birthed it?
If so many people are looking for babies to adopt, why do we have full occupancy in orphanages? Please think before offering counsel.

troubledheart:


No he is 100percent not.. very much single. I'm certain.
He is two years older and has got a bright future ahead.. he is just coming up..

Okay. My imagination of what you must be going through, paints a really sad picture. Whatever decision you make, try to not be hard on yourself. When was the last time you said a prayer? This is a really good time to. God helps those who acknowledge their need for help and turns to him. (I am not being religious)

Evina:


What are you saying? Have you ever carried a baby to full term and birthed it?
If so many people are looking for babies to adopt, why do we have full occupancy in orphanages? Please think before offering counsel.

She posted dis thread looking for advice , anyone can give their opinions . It's up to her to choose what to do thou from her op u know she don made up her mind to abort . I told her it's up to her to choose abortion or not but adoption's a choice too . Nobody's forcing her to do anything , na her choice . She's da one to live with the da consequences of killing d pregnancy .

DarkRebel101:


I read every single letter you wrote. If you weren't screwing around, then tell me, signora - was it the Holy Spirit that had you impregnated? Ave Maria, Ora pro nobis!

There's no difference – at least to me – between screwing many people and screwing one person with whom you have no intention of having a future—they both fall under the category of casual sex.

Here's an excerpt from your initial post:

Are the wrong ones you speak of not those you've dated, and possibly had sexual relations with? How's that not screwing around?

That's unimportant anyway, the kernel of the issue here is your failure to learn from past experience by choosing time again to have sex with someone you hold no marital prospects for, while fully well that contraceptives are not fail-proof, and mishaps like condom leakages linger forebodingly in the north wind.

Yes, we must all have sex at some point, and it reaches a time when dildøs and cucumbers lose their appeal, but given your antecedents, one would expect that whoever you choose to torque beneath the bed sheets with should be one who's already a cinched deal—not someone you can't even bring yourself to inform of your pregnancy.

And I'm wagering your first child was fathered by a different man. No?

Admit it, you were reckless and didn't give your actions much thought.
But, it's inutile wailing over spilled milk, and it's time to move on.

And the only way moving on can be made possible is surely not by MURDERING an innocent soul, but by having the balls to deal with the mistakes you've made.

Humans are forever hard to understand! Why would someone with blood in his/her veins be this harsh? The OP did have the intention of having a future with the guy but she discovered too late that he didnt! Really friend, intentions are never a guarantee until you walk down the aisle, so if you must criticize, let it be for the fact that she engaged in sex outside wedlock at all, anyone with an 'intention' can suffer similar fate. Cinched deal my foot!

Then you go on to talk of dildøs and cucumbers and "we must all have sex at some point." Listen to yourself, what moral right have you to criticize this lady? You are doing the same thing but with an intention?

Hey, Troubledheart, did you hear her sneer that your first child was fathered by a different man? Truth is, the kind of people who tell you never to commit an abortion are usually the ones who jeer at single mothers, not to talk of a single mum with children from different fathers. Many are out to make it tough for you, believing you have made a mistake and should suffer for it. Yes, you made a mistake, you are already suffering and need not go headlong into self torturing. someone refused to marry you, you were not the one that bailed out of the relationship.

So please, go ahead and abort this pregnancy if you cannot handle it alone. You may let the guy know first, maybe something good could come out of that, but if he is not ready to marry you soon, let him forget it, otherwise you might still end up an unmarried mother to this child - and that is not what you want for yourself and for it. Go ahead and take control of your life girl.

I am married and have so far not experienced failure with contraception, maybe you could have been more careful. Gosh, I wish you would just find out you were wrong about the pregnancy. did you run proper tests? But all in all dear, I hope you are giving abstinence from sex until marriage serious consideration. It really is your best bet.

Kudos on your career and educational achievements, especially despite your challenges.

Op, you've made up your mind already to abort.
I'm wondering why you brought it online again.

You seem to have a counter argument for anyone who suggests you keep the baby, and let the father know.

Or you just need people to validate or support your abortion?

At the end of the day, its your body, your life and your decision.

Whatever decision you take, do so with CONVICTION, and stand by it.

bbmpin:
Take into consideration the fact that she is a single mother and is possibly struggling to feed the first!

She has a life ahead of her, How does having another fatherless child aid her future?

Do you have a child?
Do you have any idea the demands it entails?
Do you think that it is logical for a child to be born fatherless?

Committing an innocent child to a future without promise or love is wrong!

You have every right to air and stand by your opinions but try to empathize things from the view of the child

If you can't love and provide for kids DON'T HAVE THEM! #think about the child.

and you think the best choice for the child is to never give them a chance to live? Op I am very sure your mind is made up already, all you came here for is moral support, I won't preach to you about anything, I won't pretend it is about the child, but listen, killing that child won't save you from depression, it can only save you from the stigma but it is just for a while, it will get to a point where you lose sleep over what would have been had you kept the child, a point where you wonder if every misfortune you suffer is as a result of you killing an innocent child, now tell me what could be more depressing when you wish you could take back the hands of time but couldn't... Think dear, think... No matter how hard life is going to be for that child, he/she needs a shot at it.

Thank you

Op,when you talk to your boyfriend,let's know what he says.
If I may ask,how many weeks is this pregnancy?

bbmpin:

I see!

Bringing an innocent child into this world to suffer just because "you" want to protect a "religiously incentivized moral sanity"

Got nothing against being "moral" but when it's blinds your will to empathize then its questionable

Think about that child and the kind of life he/she will live in this world

No love from the father, dysfunctional home: I don't need to be a psychologist to understand that such upbringings lead to damaging consequences

Look at it this way he or she will most likely become an unruly individual that will cause harm to multiple people

There are many "abortions should have beens" out there, lets be real!

You can't just generalize that people from dysfunctional homes will be damaged / unruly. Some of the best people I know today, people breaking new grounds in niche areas, would have been aborted going by your standards.
They chose to let their dysfunctional backgrounds drive them to success in life.

bennyrazz:
the thing dey sweet, hin dey sweet, belle No 1 enter, u born am. We gree say na mistake. The thing still kan sweet sotey, u spread ur leg again sotey, u receive belle No 2 without being married. Well, the bitter truth is you wanted it that way so why complaining? Abegiii the way u carried belle No 1 for 9months, get ready to carry belle No 2 for 9months. U don successful turn yourself to a professional single mother. Very soon, u fit even start surrogacy sef cuz u are very potent. The result of too much love for sex is what is disturbing you @op. I wish you safe delivery byeeeee

Wow. That is harsh. Judge Judy, smh.

ephi123:


Wow. That is harsh. Judge Judy, smh.

nothing is harsh. The op is a very silly girl who has not learnt any lesson

bennyrazz:
nothing is harsh. The op is a very silly girl who has not learnt any lesson

That's not fair. We are imperfect people who live in an imperfect world. People make mistakes, it's not nice to kick a person who is already down.

I feel so much pity for those that have actually taken their time to reply the op. He is a troll, isn't that so obvious? Lolz . If he isn't, I'll be willing to eat my words and apologise.

Mimzyy:
I feel so much pity for those that have actually taken their time to reply the op. He is a troll, isn't that so obvious? Lolz . If he isn't, I'll be willing to eat my words and apologise.

Paste your number.

thorpido:
Op,when you talk to your boyfriend,let's know what he says.
If I may ask,how many weeks is this pregnancy?

Saw him last on the 6th of December. Last period started 16th of November...
I called him this morning. His exacts words were so am going to be father very soon? I told him I don't want to keep it and he asked how old it is, told him I plan to do a scan later today to be certain. And he said OK, no problem, take care and ended the call.