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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. (45896 Views)
Some Ladies Need To Be Used For Ritual Seriously, Just Imagine / Honestly, I Just Lost My Respect For Some Ladies Tonigjt. / 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage!! (2) (3) (4)
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10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 3:05pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage. 1.Being too careful about her choice of man: OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time. Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake. 2.I want a man who will love me for real: I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously! You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing. 3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy: I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok" But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married. However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife. Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy. 4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter: This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser. Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him. 5.My wedding will be the talk of the town: I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"? What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there? Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored. I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense. 6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one: Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD". The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion.... 7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for: Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is. This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you. Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you. 8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution: I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out" At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage. 9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me: I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth.. Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her. I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles. 10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy.... Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing... Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE. Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all. As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them. My humble opinion 234 Likes 34 Shares
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Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by makydebbie(f): 3:07pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
No 5 annoys me the most. And most times, they want big wedding to spite their peers. 58 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by MackBrooklyn: 3:08pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
These aforementioned reasons are actually the damn truth and that is why immediately after marriage, the husband will speak while the wife listens. A year after the marriage, the wife will speak while the husband listens. Then subsequent years, they will both speak while people in the neighborhood will listens ![]() 199 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by greatgod2012(f): 3:14pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
5. I want a man that will be responsible for all me and my children's financial needs. This is rampant and very very annoying! How can an able bodied person have such an annoying mindset and still want the man to love and respect her ![]() 47 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by LegalBaby(f): 3:17pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
all your threads are always against ladies 37 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by IamLEGEND1: 3:20pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
N.P-Lil'wayne- bítches love me ft Future & Drake. I'm on that good kush and alcohol I got some down bitches I can call I don't know what I would do without y'all Imma ball 'til the day I fall (ball, ball, ball, ball)... 11 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Kentura(m): 3:24pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Women are the cause of every marital problem.. God created Man on the 6th day and rested, After creating woman He havnt rested since then 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by dollyjoy(f): 3:24pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
greatgod2012:Going by your nairaland gender you are a female hence might be guilty of one or two mentalities listed by the op. The fact that someone's own varies from yours doesn't give you any right to ask stvpid questions. We are all,at one stage or the other guilty of those things op listed. Nobody should come here to form any nonsense abegi. 29 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 3:29pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
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Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by misspicy(f): 3:30pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Rules rules and rules everywhere. Your first point is very flawed,if it takes been very careful to make the right decision I will do that,who wants to end up with a dangerous man or worst still a murderer or rapist? There is no crime in marrying late. So y'all need to chill on using that phrase as a threat. ![]() I have nothing more to type,this rules have been over flogged especially by Toks,are there no new topics to talk about? You keep recycling the same sh!t since 2015,I remember giving myself headache cos of your threads,now all I see in them is a joke. I will pass on this ![]() 28 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by greatgod2012(f): 3:33pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
dollyjoy: I stated my opinion based on what I've seen among nowadays ladies, without quoting you or any other lady, why couldn't you state your own opinion same way without triggering unnecessary confrontation or reacting as if the post is directed at you ![]() 93 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 3:33pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Being Too Careful About Her Choice Of Man. We men/women have standards we've set for yourselves in respect to the kind of spouse we want to spend the rest our lives with, so is paramount a lady is very careful with her choice, if waiting for your kind will make you remain single for long then please do, marriage is a life long commitment and not a mere relationship you could always feel the urge to walk out. I Want A Man Who'll Love Me For Real. There's always that man who would love you for real, to him your imperfections are his perfections, to him you're the most beautiful and no other woman matters in the world: that's a man who loves for real. A man should work hard to be financially ok, don't encourage mediocrity: you wouldn't want to have kids who would just come into this world to suffer or make the same mistakes your parents made. Being broke is temporal but if he has a prospect he's good to go with not one lazy guy who doesn't even know what he wants from life. 10 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by eph12(m): 3:34pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
greatgod2012:This is their default settings and can only be corrected when they're faced with reality 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 3:37pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Having wishes, standards, criteria, desires isn't a crime, Being obsessive with these features and ruling out compromise is a question for sanity. ![]() 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 3:38pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
This issue has been discussed in different forms/ways/format... It's fast becoming a cliché, and is already beginning to lose its value. However, that of 'a man loving me for real', I don't get how that is out of place. Can you, please, explain further. Why is the pressure to compromise always on ladies? 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 3:40pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
LegalBaby:If you see this as against then work on yourself. I call it insightful and note hateful. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Silentscreamer(f): 3:41pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
No. 3 is spot on. Women shuld strive hard to be financially ok and independent. It helps in the long run. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by TheSonOfMark(m): 3:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
greatgod2012: Oddly , your post is directed at her and her ilk. She's one time too many admitted , albeit shamelessly, that she wants a man who'd take care of her financial needs without categorically stating what tangible thing she'd bring to the relationship. Remember that saying about geriatric folks being uneasy at the mention of dry bones? Well , this is one of such scenarios. Below is one of her numerous leeching posts : dollyjoy: https://www.nairaland.com/3447076/question-female-money-freaks/1#50774102 Hypocrites like her play the gender equality card only when it furthers their selfish agenda. 82 Likes 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 3:54pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
skarlett:Still in that location? I am like 2° west , 5°N of same place.. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 3:55pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
misspicy: You this girl again in 2017...must you open my threads? Amazingly you don't even understand the difference between being careful and being too careful neither do you understand the difference between rules and anomalies..gosh! is this how you want to continue in 2017? Your sarcasm knows no bounds walahi..you claim I recycle yet you keep trolling on my threads..please if you have nothing intelligent to write just read comments from intelligent people OK! 28 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 3:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
x240: The location is not precise, so yeah I'm somewhere around |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 3:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Beamborla: No man really loves you for real but there must be something he sees in you,about you,around you that makes him want you. If I see a lady who is sexually pleasing to my eyes I simply go for her but will I say I love her for real? Are there Noth several other ladies out there with no good curves and not too presentable? 5 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by greatgod2012(f): 4:00pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
TheSonOfMark: No wonder! How could I have known that? No wonder she personalized my comment, whereas I was only stating my observation. And that I started my opinion doesn't mean that I support what the op wrote in totality, but just an avenue to educate my fellow ladies that a lady who want a man to be completely responsible for all her financial needs cannot earn so much respect from such a man. 50 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 4:04pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 4:06pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Toks2008:If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust. When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them. Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens? 12 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by misspicy(f): 4:08pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Toks2008:Grandpa that line of having nothing intelligent to write is also overflogged,don't you ever learn new disses ![]() I have the exclusive right to comment whatever I want on any thread be it yours or anybody, deal with that ![]() Every other thing you typed are just grammar And yes your threads are recycled,no matter how you change the title and words ![]() Compliments of the season,I'm just here to play though 14 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by SalomonKane: 4:11pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
greatgod2012:That's the irony of it all. They all want a man who will pay their bills and even wipe their ass when they defecate. Funny thing is, they still want this man to respect and not cheat on them. ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by greatgod2012(f): 4:16pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
@ dollyjoy, my post wasn't directed at you, in fact, I doubt if I've ever seen your comment because I rarely visit romanceland. But let me tell you, if truly you have that mindset, please change it, if not, it will cost you full respect from such a man. Not that I support in totality what the op wrote, I only chipped in my own observation and a need for our ladies to change such mindset. If you observe me very well on this forum, I avoid confrontation, argument, and unnecessary name calling. For those who are talking about number 1point, there's nothing wrong with being careful, at least I was careful in choosing who I wanted to marry, I thank God for who ended up with, but there's a difference between being careful and being too careful. You can't have it all in a man,compromises have to take place, if need be, there's no way you can have it perfect except you want to create such a man by yourself. I think that's what the op was trying to pass across. May God help us all. 26 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Greatzeus(m): 4:17pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Benita27:Girl stupid threads are created daily,debatable ones also,this is not one of them,this is real talk girl. If I were a lady I would be glad reading this,just to learn and move forward. This is not male vs female crap we see on Nairaland, this is real talk,just learn and move on,it doesn't mean you are guilty of what he stated,if you acknowledge them to be right,or are you ![]() There is always a man to love you for real,yes there is,have you found him yet ![]() ![]() Note I believe in love,I mean sacrifice ,commitment, and also reciprocal, not the delusional, fictitious, telemundo type many girls fantacize about ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by MoDsHunter(m): 4:20pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
3, 4, 5....are certainly not gonna last...Olosho Anthem ![]() |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 4:33pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Beamborla: All these theory is the reason why many marriages will crash and why many ladies will keep running from pillar to post looking for a man to love them for real. I insist that there is nothing like loving anyone for real. Talking about imperfections I guess there is also a limit to that...I can't love a sexually loosed lady in the name of loving for real neither can you love a man who is totally off from the qualities you want. When you meet someone new just identify why you love that person and hope that reason is maintained else there will always be a break in the affair. 6 Likes |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 4:42pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Toks2008:Moral decadence and imperfection especially in the context I used it are two different things. You didn't answer my question. You maintained there is nothing like loving someone for real, in your opinion, it's about identifying the reasons for loving the person and hope it's maintained. The possibility that life can happen and some of the reasons for loving the person disappears can not be overulled. Another is that it's possible to come across another person with the 'reasons' and even more. How do you deal with such situation if the love is not for real. 2 Likes |
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