Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by PatriotTemidayo: 9:03am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
Haaaaa! no be my sisters you go kill..biko na joke o..in fact I don't know those ladies anywhere .....kojooo Haba! My paddi ![](/faces/huh.png) You denying your own sistos? Just on the humour side of things anyways...... They are wonderful. And I'll like to meet them, with your permission. But to be frank, your write up, which exclusively is your opinion, are great and I know for certain that they carry deep lessons |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Sunglow: 9:05am On Jan 07, 2017 |
dangotesmummy: I read EVERYTHING. From the beginning to the end and the lesson I learnt from your post is that no woman has a right to have standards or desires on what she wants in a man
She has to settle for less or just take whatever baggage just to earn the almighty Mrs title ![wink](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/wink.png)
Of course I know your type too.btw are you Even married yourself? What gives you the moral right or justification to be giving women advise on what to do to earn a Mrs title
Your case is like someone still writing waec and giving undergraduates advise on how to graduate when he hasn't Even entered the school first to see how it is They say he is divorced. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 9:07am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
MY FATHER! MY FATHER! Any monitoring spirit following me upandan either in the air or on the ground..online or offline..in my dreams or in reality..I say DIE BY FIRE IN THE NAME OF YESHUA! AMEN!
You will not succeed walahi..if you follow me I will undo it.
Na by force. Toks I go follow you ooo!! Singing: Anywhere you go I go follow! I go follo o! I go follo!!! You go sabi say na me like argument pass for nairaland. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by thesuave10(m): 9:11am On Jan 07, 2017 |
1 Like |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by exelentey: 9:13am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Gross |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 9:16am On Jan 07, 2017 |
PatriotTemidayo:
Haba! My paddi You denying your own sistos? Just on the humour side of things anyways...... They are wonderful. And I'll like to meet them, with your permission. But to be frank, your write up, which exclusively is your opinion, are great and I know for certain that they carry deep lessons Sure just trying to be on the hilarious side. As for my write ups the truth is that I'm a social freak and I have great passion for interacting and since I have been on naira land since 2007 I can't just stop being active because I have grown in age so I felt that the best way to continue my interaction is to share real mature insights about the oldest institution which I have a first hand experience about But then nairaland has no age sections hence I would have been posting there but as it is I just have to cope with all these teenage girls and adolescent ladies who have no tiny clue of what it's all about but rather than learn, they will come online to rant curse and cry. The most amazing twist is that I have received countless PM from mostly mature ladies thanking me for my insight which has made them better prepared for a purposeful union. So I honestly don't give a bleep when nairaland smallies write out of their fantasies. Stay blessed bro. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 9:21am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Sunglow: They say he is divorced. Yes o...some say I was used and dumped and another feeders say I was never married but you know what....let them continue to guess,assume and presume...I'm loving it. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 9:27am On Jan 07, 2017 |
fellis:
Toks I go follow you ooo!!
Singing: Anywhere you go I go follow! I go follo o! I go follo!!!
You go sabi say na me like argument pass for nairaland.
|
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 9:29am On Jan 07, 2017 |
carmag:
sexual appealing is the first consideration for men when proposing to a lady, love starts existing when you find both of you compatible
if you are a man can you propose to a lady who is not sexual appealing to you
How would you develop the feelings and love when she not sexually appealing It is the first all right, but it can not hold a relationship. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 9:32am On Jan 07, 2017 |
HarveySpecter1:
Because they aren't the superior gender
The the Harvey Specter from suits knows better |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 9:33am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Ofemini:
I quite figure your candid question about 'real love'. The OP may not give you a satisfactory response about this because his perspective of love is attraction based. I can submit that there is true love which is solely based on a decision to do so. Attraction to a lady base on features is temporal and unreliable but when a man decides to love a lady and backed upon by an unflinching commitment to make their union work over time. Then that can be said to be true love. This is a commitment independent of emotional/feeling flunctuations. Ah! Thank you. God bless you for me. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by karkinase(m): 9:43am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Nice thread....me likey. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Beamborla(f): 9:44am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Coraje:
I understand what the op is saying very well. I strongly affirm that nobody loves another person for no reason. A guy is able to look beyond his girl imperfections because there is something else he sees in her that is more valuable to him than all the imperfections. I hope you got my point Somehow, you and I have a point of convergence in our views. And I don't think that's what the OP is saying. If you indeed read and understood my point, you wouldn't reply me with this. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by paulbets: 9:47am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Ofemini:
I quite figure your candid question about 'real love'. The OP may not give you a satisfactory response about this because his perspective of love is attraction based. I can submit that there is true love which is solely based on a decision to do so. Attraction to a lady base on features is temporal and unreliable but when a man decides to love a lady and backed upon by an unflinching commitment to make their union work over time. Then that can be said to be true love. This is a commitment independent of emotional/feeling flunctuations. Why will anybody decide to love anybody unflinchingly for no reason. No matter how we flog it, there is always going to be reason for loving another person. Either because of character, Christian instructions to love, physical looks and other many things. There is nothing like "love me for real". Love must be foundational and based on something else it will just be words. Do not be deceived by words of "I Love you for real" pls enquire what is that real thing or motivation, and if its just choice to love, ask what's prompting the person to make such choice. There is always a reason for everything whether consciously or subconsciously. Scientifically speaking, the love that people feel towards opposite sex that makes them to want to date the person or be in a relationship with the person is often biologically triggered by sex hormones. The feelings you hear people talk about to whom ever thy are dating, is also biologically influenced by their sex hormones. Nice writeup and points @ Toks2008 |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by obontami: 9:47am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
Lol! Abeg what exactly is the fuss about?
Do all men cheat? HELL NO so why are you shedding blood over an innocuous presumption. A man could and will are grammatically different .
It is either most of you ladies who curse or castigate my writeups are uneducated,not educated enough or simply lack cognitive ability to comprehend yet you pour your frustrations on me...please just negodu.
Ladies like you are making reasonable contributions but you prefer to act like a road side illetrate pap seller.
I don't even know why I'm giving you attention cos if I look closely you will likely be one of these Telemundo ladies. T.K.O ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 1 Like
|
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Melian(f): 9:54am On Jan 07, 2017 |
There's nothing "humbling" in what you've written. Your post is sadistic, peppered with hate at best. 1. You've not addressed anything. The only address you've tendered is directed towards teenagers. 2. You know nothing about love and being loved. Chances are you're from a broken home. Yeah? 3. Still on love. The many contradictions in your post show you dont know what you're saying most of the time. First, you say thinking your man must love you for real is like subjecting yourself to some kind of tunnel vision. Then again you say " This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you". (pls re-read the bla bla bla that follows). Who's fooling who? 4. On Money and Love. On Men and Women and Relationships. Let's face it, a man would look for the most beautiful woman he can possibly get with his money. Conversely, with her looks, a woman will look for the richest guy she could possibly lay her hands on. It's a two-way street. There's equity. Let's not pretend this isn't the norm and as long as it's acceptable to the people involved, I don't think anyone should make it their own to whine and complain and get jealous. Rather get your butt off nairaland and begin to do twice as better what you've been doing to make the money. 5. Love. Many have scoffed at the theory of love but for those who believe, they will find it. If love is your choice, live it. If you're not yet living it your choice then you've been successfully conned. 6. Marriage is beautiful, too beautiful to be true. However, not a smooth sail. This is why we should marry for love cos if ever it gets turbulent only love helps you stay together. A man in love is a happy man, believe me. Toks2008: I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions [/b]some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.
[b]1.Being too careful about her choice of man:
OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time. Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.
2.I want a man who will love me for real:
I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!
You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.
3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:
I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"
But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.
However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.
Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.
4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:
This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.
Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.
5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:
I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"? What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?
Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.
I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.
6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:
Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".
The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....
7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:
Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.
This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.
Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.
8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:
I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"
At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.
9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:
I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..
Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.
I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.
10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....
Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...
Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.
Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.
As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.
My humble opinion |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by makydebbie(f): 9:56am On Jan 07, 2017 |
OluDare01: I sent you a pm I have mail issues, so I can't reply pms. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by PatriotTemidayo: 10:00am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
Sure just trying to be on the hilarious side.
As for my write ups the truth is that I'm a social freak and I have great passion for interacting and since I have been on naira land since 2007 I can't just stop being active because I have grown in age so I felt that the best way to continue my interaction is to share real mature insights about the oldest institution which I have a first hand experience about
But then nairaland has no age sections hence I would have been posting there but as it is I just have to cope with all these teenage girls and adolescent ladies who have no tiny clue of what it's all about but rather than learn, they will come online to rant curse and cry.
The most amazing twist is that I have received countless PM from mostly mature ladies thanking me for my insight which has made them better prepared for a purposeful union.
So I honestly don't give a bleep when nairaland smallies write out of their fantasies.
Stay blessed bro. Absolutely on point. My problem with us as youths is that we leave cancer and start chasing headache. We want soft but false landing. With many lessons flying all around, we still love to deceive ourselves, holding unto fantasy, like Alice in wonderland. Kudos Brother........ |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 10:23am On Jan 07, 2017 |
LegalBaby: knew one retard would say this Ur entire family na dem b retard. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 10:24am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Melian: There's nothing "humbling" in what you've written. Your post is sadistic, peppered with hate at best.
1. You've not addressed anything. The only address you've tendered is directed towards teenagers.
2. You know nothing about love and being loved. Chances are you're from a broken home. Yeah?
3. Still on love. The many contradictions in your post show you dont know what you're saying most of the time. First, you say thinking your man must love you for real is like subjecting yourself to some kind of tunnel vision. Then again you say "This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you". (pls re-read the bla bla bla that follows). Who's fooling who?
4. On Money and Love. On Men and Women and Relationships. Let's face it, a man would look for the most beautiful woman he can possibly get with his money. And, with her looks, a woman will look for the richest guy she could possibly lay her hands on. It's a two-way street. There's equity. Let's not pretend this isn't the norm and as long as it's acceptable to the people involved, I don't think anyone should make it their own to whine and complain and get jealous. Rather get your butt off nairaland and begin to do twice (better) what you've been doing to make the money.
5. Love. Many have scoffed at the theory of love but for those who believe it's real will find it. If love is your choice, live it. If you're not yet living it your choice then you've been successfully conned.
6. Marriage is beautiful, too beautiful to be true. However, not a smooth sail. This is why we should marry for love cos if ever it becomes turbulent only love helps you stay together. A man in love is a happy man, believe me.
Don't be fooled that my quoting you means I read your comment...in fact I would have gladly done that but was put off by your sarcastic,odoriferous,immature and unwarranted remarks in the very first paragraph. I just might consider reading if you can repost without hateful words cos it's really a turn off that a youth educated enough to express him or herself is not intelligent enough to discuss opinionated matters without getting heated up and using hateful phrases...smh! 1 Like |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by gsalvatore: 10:25am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Beamborla:
If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.
When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.
Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?
Sorry to cut in here... About imperfections, most ladies mistake that for plain stupidity.. And it has being confusing many ladies mostly millennials. "love me for real" is about imperfections like qualities including physical and mental attributes..beauty, skin color, height, intelligence, temperaments.. Yeah one can love a woman with all these imperfections as we all know it's real and nobody is perfect. But when a woman is lazy(staying indoors throughout the day doing great nothing and still be tired) , dumb(inability for her to even desire to upgrade her brains), poor sense of hygiene etc.. THIS IS NOT IMPERFECTIONS, this is disaster and expecting a dude to love you for real? That's uncharitable. My point is, there is a thin line between imperfections and stupidity. Both are different things. Ooo |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by lahit14(m): 10:27am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Beamborla:
If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.
When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.
Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?
I read through ur debates, yours and the op's, found them to be the most intriguing for me I'lld love to be the third voice of reason, hope y'all do not mind. From Wht I gathered, when he used sexually appealing he only intended to convey a message that there is always a reason why people love someone, which would be right. am sure he knows that anyone going after someone cos of sexual appeal is lusting, The emboldened should be right too, becos when it comes down to only what u admire or find attractive in ur partner, u most likely would meet people with more of those qualities than ur partner, what do u do when such happens, "HOP"? Bottom line is, We'r all learning , the fact that the thread is op's, doesn't make Beamborla's point anyless correct. |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by dingbang(m): 10:31am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
You this girl again in 2017...must you open my threads?
Amazingly you don't even understand the difference between being careful and being too careful neither do you understand the difference between rules and anomalies..gosh! is this how you want to continue in 2017?
Your sarcasm knows no bounds walahi..you claim I recycle yet you keep trolling on my threads..please if you have nothing intelligent to write just read comments from intelligent people OK! she is 28 towards 29 yet unmarried, she has constantly been dating guys who have broken her heart all because of her selfish desires and her mindset on guys being the sole provider . she is hellbent on money and that is the genesis of her problem |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by sarahade(f): 10:34am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008:
Lol! Abeg what exactly is the fuss about?
Do all men cheat? HELL NO so why are you shedding blood over an innocuous presumption. A man could and will are grammatically different .
It is either most of you ladies who curse or castigate my writeups are uneducated,not educated enough or simply lack cognitive ability to comprehend yet you pour your frustrations on me...please just negodu.
Ladies like you are making reasonable contributions but you prefer to act like a road side illetrate pap seller.
I don't even know why I'm giving you attention cos if I look closely you will likely be one of these Telemundo ladies. Like you don't watch telemundo and zee world im sure you cry too. Call me what ever you want but the truth is you rant nonsense. Just because men and women cheat doesn't make it right. I just see your post as encouraging men especially to cheat that is exactly what my fuss is about. A man who is not satisfied with one woman can never be satisfied with 100. Even those that have 3 wives at home have gfs. Its like you don't know what cheating does to people. Apart from that the dangers that comes with it makes it not worth it most of the times. If you are tired of your wife, definitely she's tired of you too that's why she's not making effort. You should both sit yourself down and manage the situation like adults. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Toks2008(m): 10:39am On Jan 07, 2017 |
dingbang: she is 28 towards 29 yet unmarried, she has constantly been dating guys who have broken her heart all because of her selfish desires and her mindset on guys being the sole provider . she is hellbent on money and that is the genesis of her problem Habba! How sure are u? |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Melian(f): 10:45am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Nope, l'm not hating on you, simply referencing your flaws. You're the one spreading hate. C'mon. The only point you addressed is the two being financially independent. And your 6th. 7. Your 7th point is so faulty, l can't even deal, I'm tempted to call it trash. And I don't blame you but the majority of women who allow the men out there to sleep with them without any real commitment officiated by God. It's why you can show off on NL dishing all manners of highly subjective rules that do not apply to the average, reasonable girl out there. Where love is the reason, the two must love each other. It's a natural prerequisite. No one gender's love is better than the other's. Get it. Btw, who are you? Are you married?... in a relationship? I get that you're with an insecure woman whom you've successfully deceived into thinking you're doing a favor being with because your love is better than hers, but pls stop attempting to throw it around as a given, it's not. Who taught you to reason like this? Toks2008:
Don't be fooled that my quoting you means I read your comment...in fact I would have gladly done that but was put off by your sarcastic,odoriferous,immature and unwarranted remarks in the very first paragraph.
I just might consider reading if you can repost without hateful words cos it's really a turn off that a youth educated enough to express him or herself is not intelligent enough to discuss opinionated matters without getting heated up and using hateful phrases...smh! 1 Like |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 11:18am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Malawian:
I think you will make a good wife. The ability to appreciate, forgive and appologize is more than enough to make ur guy see more in you. Awww ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) Thanks so much for the kind words ![smiley](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/smiley.png) I will put in my best.... Amen ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by HarveySpecter1: 11:25am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Beamborla:
The the Harvey Specter from suits knows better You think so? |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 11:34am On Jan 07, 2017 |
Toks2008: I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.
1.Being too careful about her choice of man:
OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time. Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.
2.I want a man who will love me for real:
I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!
You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.
3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:
I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"
But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.
However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.
Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.
4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:
This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.
Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.
5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:
I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"? What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?
Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.
I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.
6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:
Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".
The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....
7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:
Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.
This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.
Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.
8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:
I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"
At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.
9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:
I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..
Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.
I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.
10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....
Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...
Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.
Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.
As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.
My humble opinion love Di's write up. feeling bad though. u burnt all my fantasies. guess its time to wake up and smell d coffee if I Eva want to get married and enjoy it |
Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by metallisc(m): 11:37am On Jan 07, 2017 |
LegalBaby: all your threads are always against ladies
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Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by metallisc(m): 11:38am On Jan 07, 2017 |
greatgod2012: 5. I want a man that will be responsible for all me and my children's financial needs.
This is rampant and very very annoying!
How can an able bodied person have such an annoying mindset and still want the man to love and respect her![](/faces/huh.png)
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Re: 10 Ignorant Mindset Of Some Ladies Towards Marriage. by Nobody: 11:40am On Jan 07, 2017 |
MackBrooklyn: These aforementioned reasons are actually the damn truth and that is why immediately after marriage, the husband will speak while the wife listens. A year after the marriage, the wife will speak while the husband listens. Then subsequent years, they will both speak while people in the neighborhood will listens ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) MackBrooklyn: These aforementioned reasons are actually the damn truth and that is why immediately after marriage, the husband will speak while the wife listens. A year after the marriage, the wife will speak while the husband listens. Then subsequent years, they will both speak while people in the neighborhood will listens ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png)
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