Izen:

Has come for me? How?

He is looking at making you his. He is not rushing it like most guys do.

the guy is a weakling and doesnt wana Man up...he wants u to ask him out,,,its already clear dat he is toying with your emotions and when u futher ask him out that wud be the end cos he wud toy with ur emotions completely.if he sees a serious toaster around u i swear he wud man up and ask u out.dont allow pple toy with u all in d name of love.

I think...if u are just frnds , u can step up ur game..create an atmosphere were u guys can have a light romance..
just saying dis because of my kind of person..he might b scared of telling u how he feels..maybe because ur level might be higher than his life r he thinks u too good or he is not sure of what he wants...confused..I think u should take the first step..if he does not appreciate, then u walk away..no harm in fighting for what u want..

magabounce:
You know!!!!
It's pretty simple!!!
I sister zoned a friend for 5 years!!
She came out plain and said Omang I love you!! I would like us to date!!!
We 2 years now and waxing stronger!!!
Trust ur guts!!!

Best comment ever... Thou.. The guy doesn't wanna come out straight. Obviously.. The lady loves him more though the guy lover her.. And.. It's better she risk it than stay hurt without the guy even knowing his silent over his love for her hurts her..

Sapphire86:
I read your write-up and can understand your pain. That being said, you are gonna have to put on your big girl panties and have the difficult discussion with him which you are probably dreading & be prepared to walk.

Also... if he wants you, let him fight for you. Men don't often appreciate what's right in front of them till they have to work for it (but form with sense oooo).

All in all, its time for sink or swim moment joor & if it doesn't work out, God will see that you have the opening to receive your own man!!

Thanks a lot. It's good to know that I'm not being unnecessarily harsh. I'll just withdraw totally. If he asks why, I'll let him know that I want to stop decieving myself and that we can't be friends. I think it's high time.

JERRY1925:
I think...if u are just frnds , u can step up ur game..create an atmosphere were u guys can have a light romance..
just saying dis because of my kind of person..he might b scared of telling u how he feels..maybe because ur level might be higher than his life r he thinks u too good or he is not sure of what he wants...confused..I think u should take the first step..if he does not appreciate, then u walk away..no harm in fighting for what u want..

It's in this kind of atmosphere that all this marriage talk and all comes up. He's had the chance to tell me how he feels several times, if he truly feels something. You're kinda right about the different levels lol. That part is a little complicated. In fact, I believe both of us feel we're advancing faster than the other only that it's from different perspectives.

Aaaaarghmed:
the guy is a weakling and doesnt wana Man up...he wants u to ask him out,,,its already clear dat he is toying with your emotions and when u futher ask him out that wud be the end cos he wud toy with ur emotions completely.if he sees a serious toaster around u i swear he wud man up and ask u out.dont allow pple toy with u all in d name of love.

Hmmm......I wouldn't call him a weakling tho. He always tells me about girls on his radar and all. He recently told me about how a girl was so into him without me asking. He didn't seem too into her so I don't know if he was just trying to get a reaction from me. Personally, I don't like to spoil other girls' parade so I kept egging him on. I don't know if he expected a different reaction from me sha.

Hmmm

ikp120:

He is looking at making you his. He is not rushing it like most guys do.

Is 6 years not enough time to not rush things?

Apus:
I used to fill his shoes. Maybe he was scared of ruining d friendship between u two. What if dating doesn't workout, would u still b his friend etc? He just had to calculate d risks involved. Swallow ur pride and If u still have feelings for him forget d past & d emotional-play ish, cos it's obvious it wasn't intentional. He sounds too sweet for him to do any of such to You...
Pls my sister go with d flow cos I believe love between friends is like love made in Heaven.

Whether we date or not, I've made peace with the fact that we can't remain friends forever. I don't think friendship with the opposite sex while married is ideal. Yes, he's really sweet

Izen:


Is 6 years not enough time to not rush things?

He doesn't see the need to rush things with you because of how long he has known you. Just relax and keep giving him green light. If you can't take it, then friend zone him and move on.

I guess he has been fvcking you? If he has, then I don't see anything serious happening between you two except something else happens sha.

@OP, don't give him any distance, I can relate to all you wrote because I AM EXACTLY like him, I think it's scientific, because I also have someone I love so much but can't tell her, Because I presumed; I am shy, she is too good, I am not good enough or just trying to become the best I can be for her(before engaging her), I could tell you I did same in my 200L 2011, I had a lady I loved so much but helped her date someone while I went ahead too to date someone else.
Until this day I am still in communication with her and she is even about to get married which I am not comfortable with, but those points keep playing in my mind.
But all I need from her is to reassure me of her love, and make me comfortable working with her.
All he needs is reassurance, a guy wouldnt spend time with you if he doesn't want something from you, and I am sure he doesn't want sex, so keep at him, give him you heart and make him believe you are there for him.
#bestwishes

ikp120:


He doesn't see the need to rush things with you because of how long he has known you. Just relax and keep giving him green light. If you can't take it, then friend zone him and move on.

I guess he has been fvcking you? If he has, then I don't see anything serious happening between you two except something else happens sha.

Your first paragraph makes sense. I've been thinking along that line but I'm scared of getting my hopes up only to be shattered again. And no, we've not had sex lol.

Lol typical nigerian girl. Just tell him how you feel kid, if he doesn't feel the same way, tell him you can't remain friends with him anymore because you'll never feel comfortable having a friendship with him ever again... he'll respect you more and if he had any feelings for you, it'll be even stronger since you make life easy for him by shooting the gun on target... if you want something, take it! Supposing he is a super hot/handsome guy, you wouldn't be asking such a stupíd question in the first place. this is the 21st century baby.. grow up.

Izen:


Your first paragraph makes sense. I've been thinking along that line but I'm scared of getting my hopes up only to be shattered again. And no, we've not had sex lol.

Then keep giving him green light. But keep your options open sha.

You are excessively too emotional, that's what i can deduce from your post.

Izen:


Thanks a lot. It's good to know that I'm not being unnecessarily harsh. I'll just withdraw totally. If he asks why, I'll let him know that I want to stop decieving myself and that we can't be friends. I think it's high time.

This is exactly what you should do. If he has real feelings for you, it will mount pressure on him.

Phewwww....... Read the whole writeup but it has to do with love, gat nothing to say.

Benita27, Hateu2, Lawlahdey and Genea comman epp our sister.

Whatever decision you make Izen, love yourself more.

webninja:
Lol typical nigerian girl. Just tell him how you feel kid, if he doesn't feel the same way, tell him you can't remain friends with him anymore because you'll never feel comfortable having a friendship with him ever again... he'll respect you more and if he had any feelings for you, it'll be even stronger since you make life easy for him by shooting the gun on target... if you want something, take it! Supposing he is a super hot/handsome guy, you wouldn't be asking such a stupíd question in the first place. this is the 21st century baby.. grow up.

He's always known how I feel. That's the problem I have with him. And trust me, hot is an understatement. He keeps getting hotter by the day sef and he's always been a ladies' man.

firstking01:
You are excessively too emotional, that's what i can deduce from your post.

Lol, I know. He knows.

If only things can just work out between you both, best of friends marrying each other make a nice couple but I'm afraid you might have to discuss it with him.Your closeness could even drive potential suitors away.

LeView:
Life is simple we just complicate things.

Instead of having a relationship with him in your head you could just speak to him. All this we are so close crap yet you can't tell him what's important. Lol! Us women are soo crazy! I love where you blamed him for doing something he doesn't even know he is doing! When will we quit this victim card we pull out whenever we are emotionally confused! Tell the man what's eating you up! Tell him with a smile that you need a little space to clear your head because your friendship is making you feel a connection that might not be there.


Ps for future reference! Men and women who are attracted to each other can never be friends! Maybe If there were no feelings especially from you because you are the one who complicated things here by befriending a man you love.

Stop being a coward if he's such a great friend he will understand. Although your relationship /friendship sounds a bit fake. Anyway, do the right thing and not the easy thing that's my advice to you.

A sensible post? on romance section?
what is happening here

Aderola15:
Phewwww....... Read the whole writeup but it has to do with love, gat nothing to say.

Benita2.7, Hateu.2, Lawlah.dey and Gen.ea comman epp our sister.

Whatever decision you make Izen, love yourself more.

The only thing i can deduce is that the guy is a coward, he can't man up and ask her out but he's equally as much in love with her as she's with him.

Just like a friend poured out her heart to me. Initially I told her that I wanted friendship which she agreed so we started hanging out just like friends do coupled with the constant calls

It got to a point that she started developing feelings for me but I kept reminding her of our earlier resolve. This issue of feelings kept reoccurring so I was surprised during one of our outings she told me point blank that she no longer wants to continue with the friendship that its either am in as her boo or am out.

After that day she stopped picking my calls, if ever she picks she'll always tell me she's busy so I moved on because I can't force her. So op cut off all ties with him.

I've been there.

Dude appreciates who you are and has you as a back-up plan.
Sit down and talk with him and make up your mind.

No time for mind games this 2017.
Make we know say na only Buhari matter we dey reason.

DrObum:
I've been there.

Dude appreciates who you are and has you as a back-up plan.
Sit down and talk with him and make up your mind.

No time for mind games this 2017.
Make we know say na only Buhari matter we dey reason.

It's as if you read my mind. I honestly feel I'm his back up plan at this point.

sauceEEP:
Just like a friend poured out her heart to me. Initially I told her that I wanted friendship which she agreed so we started hanging out just like friends do coupled with the constant calls

It got to a point that she started developing feelings for me but I kept reminding her of our earlier resolve. This issue of feelings kept reoccurring so I was surprised during one of our outings she told me point blank that she no longer wants to continue with the friendship that its either am in as her boo or am out.

After that day she stopped picking my calls, if ever she picks she'll always tell me she's busy so I moved on because I can't force her. So op cut off all ties with him.

So are you saying it is possible to want to hang out with a female friend, call her a lot, chat with her and all without a tiny bit of feelings attached?

Izen:
actions.?

postermy only advice to you is get bold and let your feelings be known. why are you torturing yourself? you care about this guy and you have a feeling that he cares for you so, why not let your feelings be known for real. Forget all the a man is supposed to do this vs a woman is supposed to do that.

you withdrawing from him will hurt more than anything and seriously its immature. if you are trying to break free for real, let your feelings be known. if he likes you, then happily ever after if he says no then the anger will propel you far apart and kill the friendship.

by the way, is he single? and why are you still single? have you ever wondered that he is not attracted to you like that (not an insult just noting the fact that there are different strokes for different folks)

Izen:


Hmmm......Errmmm....... Can I ask you why you didn't say anything? Did you know she liked you all the while?

Yes I knew she did!! A whole lot @ dat!! Buh my thoughts weren't on dating.
She kept saying am making her falll in love wf me, I sha thought it was all jokes

Izen:
Hi guys. I'm in an emotional dilemma and I think the pressure of yet another Valentine's day without a boo is getting to me. Please as much as my write up might piss you off, please try not to insult me. I'm trying to avoid a total meltdown. Thanks in advance.

So there's this guy, we've been very close friends for six years now. There has always been romantic feelings on my part and I used to have the tiniest bit of hope that it was mutual. This was until he started dating a mutual friend. What hurt the most was that he tried to hide it from me despite our closeness. He claims it wasn't his idea though.
Let's just say I borrowed myself brain after that or so I thought. I started avoiding him as much as I could but he wouldn't let me be. He eventually asked me point blank if I liked him and after much beating about the bush, I answered in the affirmative. Apparently, other friends of ours had had to call his attention to my crush on him cos dude was clueless, "according to him". I asked him if he felt the same way and he told me that I was like a little sister to him. Alas, I was sister-zoned. Note that the age gap between us is barely more than a year. He told me he wouldn't lose me as a friend because I was special. Why wouldn't he just let me go?
Fast forward to a year+, he broke up with the mutual friend though I remained friends with both of them. I had nothing to do with the break up o. I was more comfortable rekindling our close friendship then since there was no longer a conflict of interest. It took me almost two years to get over him so at that time, my heart had moved on to other prospective guys.
Years down the line, I had to change locations to another state. It was one he was familiar with and had and still has a lot of business dealings in. Let's just say I still get to see him a lot.
We both dated other people. I got badly burnt by my ex and he was there for me. The tough love kind. As we spoke about my ex, that was when it hit me. This guy has always and probably will always have my back. I felt so comfortable sharing details with him. I knew then that I missed him a lot. I've been wondering what could have been between us ever since then. In fact, I started referring to him as my best friend. I know it's only a matter of time before it's necessary to let go of that bond tho. He's gone get married to his true bestie one day.
The thing now his, he's changed a bit. I know this because we've been friends a long time and I know him well. The calls have been more frequent, longer, etc. He always tries to see me when he can, same with me. This has got me wondering if this is the way normal friendships between the opposite sex are. He now says things like, "You're this and that and it's probably why you have an issue with XX. You do the same to me but I've come to accept it, there's nothing I can do about it". I interpreted this as him sticking with me flaws and all.
At one of our discussions, he told me he would love to marry someone he's known for a long time and he used us as an example. I went on the defensive immediately and told him I couldn't marry him. That bothered him a lot and he didn't stop until he pressed me for a reason. I threw his question back in his face and asked him if he could marry me and he said yes. I pushed harder and asked if he would marry me (not as a proposal lol), he laughed about this. I eventually told him I couldn't marry him cos he hasn't proposed to me and I cannot propose to him. When he tried to form, "so you'll marry me if I ask you to", I just asked to drop the topic totally.
I know I'm supposed to be elated but instead I'm hurt. I feel like I've been emotionally played and I'm still being played in my best years. How can he do this now? Does he know how much it cost me to try to get over him the first time? Apparently, I never fully succeeded. He's toying with my emotions again and I believe he knows that. I wanted to remind him that he sister-zoned me but I held back. I can't do this again guys. Please, I just can't.
Do you think he now has romantic feelings for me but he's deliberately holding back. Do you think he's trying to give me hints? I'm tempted to shut this friendship down totally. I can't go through this heartbreak again. It hurt the first time and I'm sure it'll hurt more this time. I know shutting down this friendship will be like a break up for me cos he's been such a huge part of my life but I think that's the only way I can truly get over him. I may or may not tell him but I plan to gradually withdraw. No calls, no texts, until he gets the memo. I really need to heal cos my relationship with him has indirectly affected other relationships I have. I'm falling madly in love with him again and I need it to stop. So guys, please should I let go now or should I hold on to a little hope that he comes around based on his recent actions.?

I'm a guy and i've been in his shoes b4. Any smart guy knows when a lady is in love with him. and it only takes the grace of God not to take advantage of her feelings cos that's what an average guy would do. u should try to bring ur feelings under control and not move faster than the guy cos u can't force the proposal question out of his mouth. you're the Lady here, so be wise.
If he wants you, he should say it himself. don't let him get so much into you else you might find it difficult to recover if he never comes up with the question.
Above all, u need the direction the Holy Spirit to avoid mistakes in life. if you have no relationship with him, i can help you with that. if u do, seek his face. he's such a caring and loving friend.
SHALOM!

Must marriage be the bus stop of every man and woman friendship?

Izen:


So are you saying it is possible to want to hang out with a female friend, call her a lot, chat with her and all without a tiny bit of feelings attached?

100% possible for some guys but I can't say for a babe.