skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

What exactly do you mean by penalizing her? Do you mean beating her?

Tundellinium:



As I'm reading your post it's as if I should just punch you. Your thinking is very shallow! God! Who says this if not selfish girls! Do you consider the mans point of view!!!

Lool, you want to punch someone you have never met what will happen if you see the person face to face

So what should I have said ? He should divorce his wife or stop giving her alawee or he should punch her.

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

some men are better of like women

OP, it is your responsibility to meet your wife's desires. No one will tell you this fact. But the truth is that a salary of 175k isnt really much during this recession. It is not even up to the amount some husbands spend on their wife monthly, but since both of you are already married, I think you need to understand that 17% of 175k is not worth anything in today's Nigeria, which is why you decide to encrypt the figure by confusing us in percentile. 17% of 175k is equal to (not enough money to buy Michael Kors wristwatch or hand bag that even single girls use these days).

Manage the wife that you have oh. You are lucky to see a woman that loves you on that income bracket. Inflation and recession is a common denominator.

Make una no fight.

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

Your wife is a consumer-in-chief. Even if you hand over all your salary to her, she no go belle full. She has no long term stake in your family, and is just buying time. She could even be milking you to satisfy her younger boyfriend for LASU. Whatever advice here is for those about to fall into the mess you already are in. You can try some damage control by stopping the payment. If she talk too much, you can rain down hell

sasko:

Is it possible to love someone you don't trust

it's dishonest to forge or inflate prices in order to drain your hubby
If your husband can't trust you who would then trust you .

What You Said Is Confam Apart Madness

Get her something doing idle mind

NoToPile:
So sorry OP

So she gets around 30k as pocket money every month, and you pay all the bills buy everything needed and pay fees and school stuffs.That should be okay for her manage for personal effects I think, people earn 30k as salary nau.

That aside I see a lot of"I" "I" "I" in your statements its not all about you bro, You also mentioned the primary duties which you say is baby sitting, cooking your dinner during the week and both dinner and lunch during weekends, its quite a lot of work not as easy as it looks.

Not giving her her pocket money as a form of punishment translates to you not taking up your responsibility as a husband , you are meant to provide for her and take care of her and that should not change because of a misunderstanding especially since she has no source of income yet, where do u expect her to get money from if you seize her allawee.

Its better you communicate (not confront) to her let her know you were not happy with the extra she added on it, ask if she needed some extra stuffs at that time, ask why she did it was the 30k not enough for her that month?
Its not easy being in a position of being totally drpendednt and not having any money of your own, you need to see from her own view point too. She may have had extra need (you didn't mention she has inflated stuffs for you before ) and didn't want ti tell you about it since you already think she's not satisfied with the 17.2%





I don't know if its just me but I found the repetition of 17.2% in your narration quite amusing. OP no vex oo lool. How did you come to the conclusion that its 17.2% she's entitled too loool.

that Op look like akpo...watch osofia film called calculator....he might be the op

bro, most NL won't tell u the truth.17.2% for what? Salary for baby seating or for cooling ur joy stick? Or for the labour stress or for cooking? Look,you sound as if the marriage is a contract marriage & if it is, which means the previous contract agreement is due for a fresh one. But if not, I like to advice you on this. Bro turn the table around,you calculate ur monthly expense, then share the salary into three or four if possible.make her be the one buying the food stuff, then give her,her own monthly tipen, then save some for Sunny day & you will hold the rest for work & upkeep.but pls call her & explain the reason why it has to be this way,because if a woman felt left in the dark,she will start misbehaving. Pls you too need to change ur orientation about marriage,marriage is not you bein the boss but you bein the leader. Pls try to Seattle this matter with wisdom not with ego. remember she has friends and neibours & she watched & listens to them how they lived.thanks

I find it baffling that under this economy hardship,some men would take a lady student as wife.
Don't you know,by so doing, you've doubled your financial responsibility.Becsuse the money you use in paying her school fees would have gone into other projects,and in the long run bring some relief . Marriage under this economy crisis comes with a lot of financial burden that needs to be shoulder by both parties. It's also leaves out the issue of one partner taken care of all the responsibilities that come with.

And to the ladies out there, never allow a man you're married to pay your school fees because sooner or later he will remind you and tell everyone of how he saw your trash through school.Like it or not, he has taken the duty of your father upon himself.

skypeme:


30,100 / 175,000 x 100% = 17.2%
I add 2.5% increment to my wifes salary every Dec

Bro sorry for digressing but i love ur addiction to percentages... So professional!

TinaAnita:


You don't need to explain anything to him bruh. He started it so let him finish it. By the time he is unable to maintain the status quo I'm sure he will realize his mistake. He dare not stop paying her monthly allowance if he doesn't want the house to be on fire

WOW!U are as beautiful as ur quote my dear

I don't want to know the kind of job you do to earn a living no condition is permanent, have that in your mind. first I implore you to stop the monthly pay you are giving her. you are a man, you have your life to live forget the fact that you are married, if you die, she Will definitely find another man to move on but God forbid. be blunt and sit her down and let her know your stand as the head of the house. God forbid, if you allow her worry to make you loose your job my brother, you will have yourself to be blamed. cut your expenses and improve your savings. that is to say, save more as against the recession. if you have not gotten a landed property, try and get one but if you have one already, congratulations. atleast you have something to consolidate on. above all, put your trust in God and not your wife and be prayerful this time around. do not tell her all your worth again. I pray you will overcome this satanic antiques in Jesus name. Amen

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

The best way to resolve this is give her Ur payslip and handover all the 175k to her.. So when u r going to work, you ask for fuel money and pocket money.. That way she will know what the family is really worth and plan well well..

even God, d originator of ur blessings asked 4 only 10percent. 17percent ke, as as wat na? somtyms I don't understand men. I don't eva understand women

gbishman:
You are stupid man my friend, why would you not trust the wife you married.
You calling the hospital was quite petty.
Grow up dude.

What do you understand about trust, person dey have suspicions, make him no confirm am, you earn trust, so shut up and read through

dragonking3:
And imam steals people's wives

Don't take it personal bro
Even pastors are guilty of the same thing you allege Imams of doing.
If you doubt me you can search on YouTube(even adult) and streamline enough videos on how they(gods of men) are caught ripping apart the punna of their congregants wives.

Reduce it to 3% till next year.

Please sit your wife down and have a heart to heart discussion with her. Let her know the implications of being a dishonest human being say less of being dishonest wife and mother who inflates the cost of treating her own child.

Make it clear to her that you will not be happy if she continues her way but you are willing to forgive and forget once she changes her behaviour. Also, do a breakdown of all your monthly expenses and let her see the sacrifice you actually make to keep the family going. Be plain and honest with her in doing this and GOD will restore peace, love joy and harmony to your home.

Billyonaire:
OP, it is your responsibility to meet your wife's desires. No one will tell you this fact. But the truth is that a salary of 175k isnt really much during this recession. It is not even up to the amount some husbands spend on their wife monthly, but since both of you are already married, I think you need to understand that 17% of 175k is not worth anything in today's Nigeria, which is why you decide to encrypt the figure by confusing us in percentile. 17% of 175k is equal to (not enough money to buy Michael Kors wristwatch or hand bag that even single girls use these days).

Manage the wife that you have oh. You are lucky to see a woman that loves you on that income bracket. Inflation and recession is a common denominator.

Make una no fight.

Uncle Billy, I've always admired your posts and your insight on so many issues. In fact I'm In one person who looks forward to your Sunday school.

However, your response to this issue is not at par with your level of maturity and wisdom. You said your self that some people will be farmers, whilst others will be engineers. So, how will someone with salary of 175k feel when you are telling him that single ladies are using Micheal Kors wristwatch and bag?

He will only end up thinking and feeling like a failure instead of being grateful that he can even put food on the table.

If MK dey hungry am, make she work buy am.

It is for better for worse. May God Almighty intervene in your Union. Amen.

zaynie:
I add money all the time.
And I work. And earn just right.
In fact anytime I am pregnant is a money making period for me. I once chopped my antenatal money and didn't register for my second pregnancy on time, my husband had to follow me to the hospital like an errant child to pay by himself. When my kids are about to start eating solid food, haaaaa small small money most pop in.
Even to buy drugs, I add money and dispose receipts. The day my husband found out our brand of cough syrup isn't up to 1000, he came home and started hailing me.



Bro, you need to lighten up.
I bet you were so high strung when you called her. Feeling so righteously angry and judgy.
And you sound so uptight too. You calculate her allowance in %, you call the hospital to confirm the bill, you want to slash her allowance because she was rude. You are her husband and not her father or her boss.
Relax!!
Does she spend anyhow? She probably is keeping all these money somewhere to start a business or do her own thing.

Just Imagine what a sane person typed and is proud of it.

When she finish her educasan that you will knew if she go stay with you or leaf you.. You better quickly go and do autopsy, so that you will knew the father of the child she already burn for you.......in Jennifer's foice #mybigmouth

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

Your wife is planning to go prodigal, she is seriously comparing u with someone else trust me...

chinnyonwu:

Just Imagine what a sane person typed and is proud of it.

But how does what he wrote affect your own sperm'count?

Rilwan20:


Don't take it personal bro
Even pastors are guilty of the same thing you allege Imams of doing.
If you doubt me you can search on YouTube(even adult) and streamline enough videos on how they(gods of men) are caught ripping apart the punna of their congregants wives.

And imams too are guilty of stealing tithes. They are both the same

udumosam23:



I do not agree with you sir. Why are you all so selfish. Why not he try been accountable with the remaining?

Here is a man who receives more than 170 in a month. Gives his wife 30K and spends let's say 50-70k if it's even up to on other house items.

What does he do with the rest? Until you learn to be accountable to your wife, she'll continue to feel insecure and suspecius of you.

You have rights to spend your money the way you like no doubt, but just explain to her how, it is her rights.

He said he takes care of every other thing in the house both food and all other expenses. Then I ask what is the wife doing with 30k monthly?
Do you know that in some families, that the amount the husband gives to the wife for food and running the home? What if the man earns 100k??
I think saving is very important as young couple and saving a larger part of that money will help them in future.

zaynie:

I'm not justifying what she did.

Yes, you are.

parisienne:


Uncle Billy, I've always admired your posts and your insight on so many issues. In fact I'm In one person who looks forward to your Sunday school.

However, your response to this issue is not at par with your level of maturity and wisdom. You said your self that some people will be farmers, whilst others will be engineers. So, how will someone with salary of 175k feel when you are telling him that single ladies are using Micheal Kors wristwatch and bag?

He will only end up thinking and feeling like a failure instead of being grateful that he can even put food on the table.

If MK dey hungry am, make she work buy am.

It is a wake up call. If I pity him and castigate his wife, he will be empowered to be comfortable in his capacity, What I did with that message is to wake him up. Private jet was manufactured for human being. Unfortunately for himself, he is a human being. People on this forum should dream big, am not interested in those who wait for sky daddy to give them daily chin chin, sorry bread. There is no sky daddy.

NoToPile:



Lool, you want to punch someone you have never met what will happen if you see the person face to face

So what should I have said ? He should divorce his wife or stop giving her alawee or he should punch her.

My point is, if you know what it takes to be a man... You wouldn't have just sided the lady for behaving in such way.

Caution her in love, Don't sanction her cus there might be alot she's als paying fr that's not accoutable for you so make her understand and tell not too. Every naija woman does that even your sis or bro will do that we also did that with our parents. just make her always understand and buy her things suprisingly that way she'll change.

I keep cash where people can access it if they need it and I'm not at home, and it never gets missing. This your kind of wife would make cash disappear from the house mysteriously. I think she's just a drain pipe, and isn't someone who is going to stand by you in tough times. You better start preparing for the uncertainty that would happen if you don't have money to give her.