Good evening wonderful Nigerians and naira landers.
Please take your time and read cause this might be a long post.
NB: Exclusively for natured and experienced minds, your comments and are expectedly welcomed.


My cousin has complains she's tired of her marriage.

She has been married for 5yrs and have four children (a set of twin girls and another boy and girl).

She has on several/most occasions been a victim of domestic violence, the husband spends most nights outside the home, comes back drunk, easily infuriated and top of it all an egoistic being.

My cousin has been enduring without telling anyone because of her ill mother(don't want her to die of heartbreak) and for the love of her kids, not forsaking the endurance based on Christianity belief.

Now her mum is gone just some days ago, pathetic as it seems the husband didn't show any sign of pity or sympathy, he started making threats of divorce accompanied with abuses calling she and her siblings "useless orphans,your sorrow just begin" and more despite the mourning state.

Now, she is clearly confused on the decision to take.

*To proceed with the divorce , noting the expenses of child rearing on a single mother. ( She's a qualified and educated Nurse)

*To seek or perhaps accept apology if who knows her husband apologizes like he always does. ( bearing in mind the level of threat, high level of domestic violence and mental distress she'll continue to undergo.)

Help her make a decision.

Thanks as you comment wisely and naturedly.

Lobatan!

Lalasticlala come and see this

is she a nag, a disobedient, a disrespective or unsubmissive woman?

The woman might have her own trouble which is not stated in this piece because it is rare for a man to make a threat of divorce without a reason even if he is a drunkard.

2kaybiel:
is she a nag, a disobedient, a disrespective or unsubmissive woman?

The woman might have her own trouble which is not stated in this piece because it is rare for a man to make a threat of divorce without a reason even if he is a drunkard.

Admittedly, the wife is a human being, subjected to human errors, however, from I've witnessed, she's very submissive and replies him in a low tone, apologizes when due. That said, after her mum's demise, the husband didn't show any sympathy, this drove her crazy and couldn't bear it anymore.

Where is ur God' nottin jst happens in d physical wit out a link in d spiritual, jst ask d. Holy spirit 2 guide u' surely dats d only surest way 4 ward oh.

So the only reason she's considering a divorce is because her husband called her and her siblings orphans? NOT because of the incessant DV, emotional abuse and all?

Should a third party prevail she will be happy to remain as long as he apologises abi?

She should well done!!! The I must remain MRS crew, the god forbids divorce crew, the I don't want my Shildren 2 grow up in a broken home gang

Pls tell her 2 remain in the marriage, after all she is a working nurse, she can cater for herself and treat any injuries inflicted on her by her beloved horseband. ......the day he bangs her head on the wall and she dies, she ll get automatic ticket 2 heaven for upholding her vows as the good long suffering Christian wife that she is ......she can also serve as guiding angel 2 her 4 children who will be maltreated by their stepmum incessantly... . Shielding them from eating poisonous food as we see on nollywood

Solobenny:

Admittedly, the wife is a human being, subjected to human errors, however, from I've witnessed, she's very submissive and replies him in a low tone, apologizes when due. That said, after her mum's demise, the husband didn't show any sympathy, this drove her crazy and couldn't bear it anymore.

has she called him to discuss why he suddenly change or the wrong she did to deserve the treatment from him and what was his reply?

she should tell you what she has done to make sure things dont get worst by the day and if her efforts did not amount to anything, then she should let her pastor intervene.

keepingmum:
So the only reason she's considering a divorce is because her husband called her and her siblings orphans? NOT because of the incessant DV, emotional abuse and all?

Should a third party prevail she will be happy to remain as long as he apologises abi?

She should well done!!! The I must remain MRS crew, the god forbids divorce crew, the I don't want my Shildren42 grow up in a broken home gang

Pls tell her 2 remain in the marriage, after all she is a working nurse, she can cater for herself and treat any injuries inflicted on her by her beloved horseband. ......the day he bangs her head on the wall and she dies, she ll get automatic ticket 2 heaven for upholding her vows ......she can also serve as guiding angel 2 her 4 children who will be maltreated by their stepmum incessantly... . Shielding them from eating poisonous food as we see on nollywood

Read again, she's not the one seeking for a divorce rather the husband.

2kaybiel:
has she called him to discuss why he suddenly change or the wrong she did to deserve the treatment from him and what was his reply?

she should tell you what she has done to make sure things dont get worst by the day and if her efforts did not amount to anything, then she should let her pastor intervene.

My brother, these problems didn't start today. If it were possible for angels to come and be visibly present during a settling session believe that would have happened many times. No height of Christian Elder have not been involved at one point or the other.
He ain't really open to other people's opinion.

Definitely, she asked in a mild and sobbing tone, why the divorce issue at this mourning stage her mum's death. The reply was that his decision stands.

Bro for your safety stay away from married people and their problems you only get burnt by doing so.....experience is the best teacher....

Her husband is her cross, tell her to watch 'War Room'

2kaybiel:
is she a nag, a disobedient, a disrespective or unsubmissive woman?

The woman might have her own trouble which is not stated in this piece because it is rare for a man to make a threat of divorce without a reason even if he is a drunkard.

Just shut up!!!

No one can make the decision for her. When she has had enough, she will know. For her to be asking if she should leave, she's not ready yet

My mum use to say in the first 5 years of marriage couple have teething problems. So I guess this is it
When he gets back home late she should ingnore him,she should be sleeping too instead of confronting him when he is drunk, when he is ok in the morning she can talk to him. If he still hits her then she should let him go.
Let him carry out his threat. Let your sister prepare her minds towards being a single mum,yes I know the burden will be too much but it will help save what is left of her self esteem. Does she have a Job? If she doesn't, she should get one.

2kaybiel:
is she a nag, a disobedient, a disrespective or unsubmissive woman?

The woman might have her own trouble which is not stated in this piece because it is rare for a man to make a threat of divorce without a reason even if he is a drunkard.

Is that an excuse for domestic violence?

She should leave the house at least for now. An educated and qualified nurse should be able to look after her children financially. If after leaving the house the husband didn't show any sign that he wants her back, divorce and moving on is her only option left.
But also tell her to be prayerful. Prayer changes things

adorablepepple:

Just shut up!!!

Keep quiet kiddo.

The op asked for a mature advice and 2kaybiel is asking questions to get a mental imagery of the situation to be able to analyze it and possibly find out the cause and solution.


You don't expect a grown up to give advice based on the one side of the story in the op. How can you proffer a solution to a problem without knowing the cause? Even doctors do not diagnose a patient or prescribe a cure without asking for the symptoms.

Tallesty1:
Keep quiet kiddo.

The op asked for a mature advice and 2kaybiel is asking questions to get a mental imagery of the situation to be able to analyze it and possibly find out the cause and solution.


You don't expect a grown up to give advice based on the one side of the story in the op. How can you proffer a solution to a problem without knowing the cause? Even doctors do not diagnose a patient or prescribe a cure without asking for the symptoms.

True though. But what on earth will make a reasonable, heartfelt man call his wife a USELESS ORPHAN, a day after her mother's demise

2kaybiel:
is she a nag, a disobedient, a disrespective or unsubmissive woman?

The woman might have her own trouble which is not stated in this piece because it is rare for a man to make a threat of divorce without a reason even if he is a drunkard.

U made a point. Any sane man CAN NEVER just wake up and start beating,insulting or divorce the wife.There MUST be an untold story. I suggest she just say the truth and beg the man for forgiveness.

Solobenny:


True though. But what on earth will make a reasonable, heartfelt man call his wife a USELESS ORPHAN, a day after her mother's demise

Nothing bro, absolutely nothing.

farous:


U made a point. Any sane man CAN NEVER just wake up and start beating,insulting or divorce the wife.There MUST be an untold story. I suggest she just say the truth and beg the man for forgiveness.

You're not actually sane for making this comment.
CAN NEVER? I guess you've not marital stories. Are you a teen?

Solobenny:

You're not actually sane for making this comment.
CAN NEVER? I guess you've not marital stories. Are you a teen?

U are an idi.ot. Make a research and know whether what I said is true or not. Who are u. And what do you know in marital institution.If the truth must be told from this lady and she did what I suggested,she must come back here and give thanks that her marriage has been restored.

farous:


U are an idi.ot. Make a research and know whether what I said is true or not. Who are u. And what do you know in marital institution.If the truth must be told from this lady and she did what I suggested,she must come back here and give thanks that her marriage has been restored.

your sister won't even seek advice from you, bro.

Her marriage is restored you say? Without ironing out the root causes, hmmm? Bros I dey hail oooo

SirVintageCock:
your sister won't even seek advice from you, bro.

Her marriage is restored you say? Without ironing out the root causes, hmmm? Bros I dey hail oooo

Don't mind the small boy, kids can come here make inexperienced comments.

U spent over a million to get a wonderful wedding, only for u to borrow money to feed your family..my friend u are as senseless as voters of change.

Wedding is mere ceremony

Didn't your parents tell u that after wedding,there is marriage