Ridwan66:
As-salaamu aleiki my sister in islam, I see no reason why you should divorce your husband because as a muslim, no one is promised 100% smooth life and this is part of those tests that would come our ways. Remember that getting married to as many as four wives by muslim is his religious obligation or are you trying to say that you can allow your husband to be having extra marital affairs rather than bringing her home provided his pocket supports it.
According to an authentic hadith, women are the majority inhabitants of hell fire not for a reason but jealousy like this is one of the many criteria and also remember that the most detested halal in the presence of Allah(swt) is divorce.
I hereby employ you to exercise patience because you never can tell what you may encounter in another man's house, probably a matrimonial house.

Frolic:
I can't understand a damn thing from this post young lady. Can you pls drink coffee, calm down, then try to come again?

sarahade:


What is being just if not to love us equally. And I know that a man that one woman cannot satisfy 100 will never satisfy him they will still have gfs because the problem is not with the woman but the man.

transient123:


Oh ho, there you go. Please, which scholarly explanation, tafsir, ayat(s) gave the word "just" to connote loving equally? Your answer could put all these fireworks to rest Masha Allah.

transient123:


With all humility, women are more in hell, not because of jealousy, it is because they are more ungrateful to their spouse. Point of correction.

Please, I won't support appealing to any lady who want to divorce her husband because of polygamy, please let them be oo, it's a free world, the husband should also move on and Allah will Masha Allah provide both of them with more everlasting succour, when we get there, we shall all give account for our deeds.

sarahade:

Prove that it is not.
Please stop quoting me. no be by force to stay in a polygamous relationship. I disagree with your opinion sheekenah.
Go and sleep

transient123:


The proofs you requested for are in the books of tafsir, tafsir ibn katheer is in English if the Arabic could be a little difficult to understand

See, I am not here to argue for or against polygamy, everyone with his/her cross and if you must know, this is my 11th year in wedlock as a monogamist, who is contented with my darling, lovable wife. I am more concerned with screwed interpretations of Allah 's ayat by proponents of polygamy and those who do not. Read my earlier posts in this subject and I don't dabble into frivolities.

If as sincere Muslims, whether in favour or not, that is ones cup of tea, just don't misinterprete ayat with your wishful thinking or thoughts, this is what ahlul kitab do that made them to perpetually sink into manifest error and disbelief.

If we must talk, talk from the cup of knowledge, not from "skyscraper", better, silence is adorable. It is not about how fast our fingers are on the pad or how many likes we get from our numerous online friends whether they understand the subject or not.

Quoting you is germaine to discussions like this because everyone will account for all his/her deeds in the day of accountability, whether those deeds are oral or through actions. Our mouths, hands, eyes, ears etc will all give account. To avoid being quoted, decorum is as well important, tell us succinctly what the Quran, hadiths, tafsir or the ijma of rightly guided scholars say and interpretations.

Thanks for your candid advice to go to bed, in fact, I have done that and already awake before reading it.

Salam alaykum waramahtuhllah.

sarahade:

Please leave me alone. You have not proved anything this are just words from the Internet. Stop assuming being just doesn't have 50 meanings. It's a simple word stop adding 100 to it.

daretodiffer:
Is polygamy mandatory?

Eno38151:
how has she tried to forbid anything? She has every right to seek a divorce if she fears her jeaulosy might lead to something bad. Is it when she pours acid on the new wife that people will now start shouting? You can't live with what you can't live with - besides the fact that the last census carried out men are actually more than women in nigeria so why should a man marry 4 wives and leave other men without women ?

Bismillah,

Allah in his infinite wisdom created both men and women, and he legislated marriage 0f a man and up to four women if he can be just amongst them.

He knows fully well what each soul(male/female) is inclined to, if the woman is jealous let her be jealous it is not a sin, but for her to try to forbid what Islam has allowed, is very dangerous.

In my opinion these arguments are bordering on the feministic point of view and SOME of them are diametrically opposed to Islam and as such it is not for a believer to follow them.

daretodiffer:
I don't think she said anything to warrant this, although I disagree with her tht most men are just.There are good polygamous homes and there are women who don't mind polygamy at all.

sarahade:


What is being just if not to love us equally. And I know that a man that one woman cannot satisfy 100 will never satisfy him they will still have gfs because the problem is not with the woman but the man.

Sissie:



You said not to quote you then you quoted me again to answer. What happened to your shaking body, it is still itching you.

Babe, Just don't reply me, if you can't reply me in a civilized intellectual manner, just ignore my comment.

salaamnurudeen:
I hope @ Ayadeji and the other sisters in this forum will learn from this true life story and understand one of the reasons why our LORD has legislated Polygamy.


"SECOND WIFE" 
 
..I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love...
 
Second wife! The words reverberated through my brain.
 
Why?
 
Am I not good enough?
 
Never! I will never accept a second wife!
 
If you want a second wife you can go out and get one as long as you know that I will not be here when you come back!
 
Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. 'She is having a hard time', he said, she didn't know where the next meal is coming from or how to provide adequately for her children. "Where is their father?" I asked, "Can't he take care of his own kids? Why do you, a strange man have to carry another man's burden? Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her!
 
I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. Sharing my husband with another woman. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. It was unacceptable. An outrage.
 
After all I have been to him. Wife, mother, doctor, housekeeper. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH!
 
NO! I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. If she walks in, I walk out! Plain and simple. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. I will not stand for it!
 
It all seems so many years ago now. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. But it did....
 
 
My husband did not get married to a second wife. After all my warnings and threats of leaving he abandoned the idea. I don't know what happened to the women and children. My guess is that they moved on to another town. He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. I managed to hang on to my husband but I didn't know that our time was running out.
 
 
His last words to me were that he had a headache and is going to lie down till Esha. He never read Esha namaaz that night, because he never woke up.
 
I was devastated by his sudden death. The man whom I have spent my life with, snatched away from me in a second. I mourned him for a long, long time. Neglecting my children and the business. Soon all went to waste and we started losing everything one by one. First the car then the shop, then the house. We moved in with my brother and his family. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. I needed to get out, to work and find a place of our own instead of living off the leftovers of others. But I had no skill.
 
When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. I had no need to go out and work or or equip myself with a skill. Life was very difficult for me and my children and I wasn't young anymore. I missed him everyday with every beat of my heart. How could ones condition change so drastically?
 
One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife.
 
It's the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. But how different the circumstances. He came to my brothers house to see me. There was an immediate connection between us. I liked him and I liked everything about him. He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesn't know what her reaction will be when he tells
her that he had found someone. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy.
 
I started reading Istikhara that night. I so desperately wanted it to work out. I remembered so many years ago when the life of another woman depended on my decision and what my decision was. I felt contrite, I felt that because I did not give another woman a chance, a space in my life, that Allah Ta'ala will punish me this time around. I repented, not once in my life did I think my action worthy of repentance because I had done nothing wrong. I only protected what was mine. Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband. I prayed that she will accept me.
 
He phoned me a few days later telling me that his wife is having a hard time accepting it but that she is willing to meet me.
 
I was nervous the day of the meeting. I prayed a lot the day before and asked Allah Ta'ala to help me. When I met her, she was a person, a woman like me . A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him.
 
She took my hand and with tears in her eyes said: " This is very hard for me, but I hope that we can be sisters" her words broke my heart.
 
All I needed in these dark days was a hand reaching out to me and embracing me, giving me hope and the will to carry on. His wife was to me, the woman that I could not be and I will be forever grateful for that. I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.
 
You never know a person's situation until you are in it. Judge by what is right according to Qu'ran and you will see how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will send double fold.
 

Rashduct4luv:
But the attitude towards the Hadith of Fragrance is not ok. May Allah forgive us all.

donmalcolm21:
Divorce your husband if you don't feel comfortable with polygamy.



Islam will not be there when things gp south but you as an individual will need to tackle it

udatso:

Islam will always be there till the end of time. A Muslim shouldn't be making the last part of the comment you just made.

Billyonaire:


Religion is not the basis of marriage. Supremacy of religion above love is a disaster. If you have no love for your husband any longer, then by all means, pack your bag and move out. If Islam permits a man to marry 4 wives, then wives should be permitted to have 4 husbands.

Religion should not be an instrument of bias and inequality. Times have changed. Religion shouldnt be an instrument of Masculine control.

donmalcolm21:
Sometimes we need to telll ourselves the tuth

Movingcoil:

You don forget una use padlock lock the gate?

Billyonaire:


I am not surprise at your intolerance. Ignorance fertilizes the Ego, and the Ego is the false construct of Self designed by versions of truths. Your version of truths. That is how fragile truth based on the construct of false Ego reacts when faced with convincing truth which fractures the foundation of your relative truth.

You have on plural circumstances mentioned Islam in your write up, even though I weighed on all Religions ever invented by the Overlords of Primordial days, because you seek moral support from your congregant who are ruled by emotion. I will not be tempted to descend so low as to criticize Islam myopically because of an ignorant crusader who can not actually make a point without attacking my person instead of my ideology.

My point remains and always will remain, that Science and Facts will always defeat relative relative truths built on the false contructs of the ego, which is so fragile to the point that you get emotional on the mention of your religion. Do you know Allah ? Do you know Jehovah ? Do you know Abraham or Abram ? If you know these mentioned names and the personalities behind those names, then you will understand that you are too small for me to insult, because my purpose will be defeated if I attack your person and not the contructs that has made you less than human.

Do not insult my person, not today, not tomorrow and not forever. I advise you click on the Username Billyonaire and read my threads and posts before you disgrace yourself before your followers. I will make you look so silly with facts and knowledge of Absolute Truths, Truths that is capable of setting you free from your ignorance of the History of Allah, Jehovah and the other Lords you so worship and kill for.

Peace Be Unto You.

udatso:

I think you and wordworld should talk

WORDWORLD:


If a man feels hurt because his PERSON was 'INSULTED'. Is such a feeling of hurt not a reflection of EGOISM? Yet he has accussed you of being EGOCENTRIC.

I dont really think i would love to talk with such mindset who cant see for themselves who they themselves are in the MIRROR of TRUTH.

Brother i hope you are doing fine.

udatso:
I am doing well sir. It's been a while

udatso:
I don't understand ya akhi

Rashduct4luv:



A lady's​ attitude towards that Hadith of fragrance wasn't ok.