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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? (20360 Views)
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Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by salaamnurudeen: 10:16pm On Apr 14, 2017 |
Sister, I will advise you to be patient and hope for rewards from Allah. Sheik MunajI'd was asked: If my husband takes a second wife, will I be rewarded? What is the reward, "ajr", for the first wife having patience ,"sabr", when her husband takes a second wife? Is there a special reward in this case, or is it the same reward for all women who obey their husbands and make their religious duties? If I would get to know about a special reward, things would be easier to accept. Published Date: 2010-02-28 Praise be to Allaah. A woman’s being patient in obeying her husband is one of the means of entering Paradise, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ibn Hibbaan: “If a woman offers her five daily prayers and fasts her month (i.e., Ramadaan) and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 660. Her patience in putting up with her husband’s marrying a second wife will bring a special reward over and above that, for several reasons: 1 – Her husband’s marrying another wife is regarded as a test and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning” [al-Zumar 39:10] According to the hadeeth: “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah will expiate his sins thereby.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5642; Muslim, 2573, from the hadeeth of Abu Sa’eed and Abu Hurayrah. Al-Tirmidhi (2399) narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Trials will continue to befall the believer, man or woman, concerning himself, his child and his wealth, until he meets Allaah with no sin on him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 5815. 2 – If a woman accepts that and treats her husband and the other wife well, she will have the reward of al-muhsineen. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Verily, he who fears Allaah with obedience to Him (by abstaining from sins and evil deeds, and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then surely, Allaah makes not the reward of the Muhsinoon (good‑doers) to be lost” [Yoosuf 12:90] “Is there any reward for good other than good?” [al-Rahmaan 55:60] “And verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:69] 3 – If she feels angry because of that, but she controls her anger – and controlling one's tongue is part of controlling one's anger – Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “…who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah loves Al-Muhsinoon (the good‑doers)” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134] This reward is in addition to the woman’s reward for obeying her husband under ordinary circumstances. A wise woman should accept whatever Allaah decrees for her, and she should realize that her husband’s marrying another woman is something permissible, so she should not object to it. It may be that this (second) marriage will make him more chaste and prevent him from doing something haraam. It is very unfortunate that some women object less to their husbands doing haraam things than to their marrying another woman in a permissible manner. This is a sign of their lack of reason and religious commitment. Women should follow the good example of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, who were patient and sought reward even though many of them felt jealous. If your husband goes ahead and takes a second wife then you have to be patient and content and treat him well so that you can attain the reward of the patient and the doers of good. Note that this life is the life of trials and tests, and how quickly it ends. So congratulations to the one who is patient in obeying Allaah in this life until he attains eternal delight in the gardens of Paradise. And Allaah knows best. End quote. I pray that Allah will make it easy for to accept ur Husband's decisions and rewreward u abundantly 2 Likes |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by transient123(m): 10:40pm On Apr 14, 2017 |
Ridwan66: With all humility, women are more in hell, not because of jealousy, it is because they are more ungrateful to their spouse. Point of correction. Please, I won't support appealing to any lady who want to divorce her husband because of polygamy, please let them be oo, it's a free world, the husband should also move on and Allah will Masha Allah provide both of them with more everlasting succour, when we get there, we shall all give account for our deeds. 1 Like |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by transient123(m): 10:49pm On Apr 14, 2017 |
Frolic: As a man, you should have known there is more to these knee jack reactions. Am just mildly surprise though. The fireworks are not normal. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by transient123(m): 10:55pm On Apr 14, 2017 |
sarahade: Oh ho, there you go. Please, which scholarly explanation, tafsir, ayat(s) gave the word "just" to connote loving equally? Your answer could put all these fireworks to rest Masha Allah. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by sarahade(f): 11:05pm On Apr 14, 2017 |
transient123:Prove that it is not. Please stop quoting me. no be by force to stay in a polygamous relationship. I disagree with your opinion sheekenah. Go and sleep |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by uboma(m): 3:10am On Apr 15, 2017 |
transient123: Your comment is very harsh. Ridwan66 had earlier mentioned among other things that women are mostly in Hell because of jealousy. But according to you, women are more in Hell because they are more ungrateful to their Spouses. Where do you guys find these? Do you just cook up reasons to support your claims of women being in Hell? Tell me, must a man go into Polygamy? Is this a standard in Islam that all men must practise Polygamy? I ask this because some of your likes here have indicated that the feelings of women are of no importance when it comes to the issue of Polygamy. According to you, whether a woman accepts or not, a man should go ahead to practise Polygamy. Don't the feelings of a woman count in Islam? I am aware of some Muslim men who, even though, are capable materially and otherwise to cater for more than one woman, are content with one wife. A Polygamous man is not better off spiritually and otherwise than someone who chooses to be Monogamous. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by transient123(m): 7:00am On Apr 15, 2017 |
sarahade: The proofs you requested for are in the books of tafsir, tafsir ibn katheer is in English if the Arabic could be a little difficult to understand See, I am not here to argue for or against polygamy, everyone with his/her cross and if you must know, this is my 11th year in wedlock as a monogamist, who is contented with my darling, lovable wife. I am more concerned with screwed interpretations of Allah 's ayat by proponents of polygamy and those who do not. Read my earlier posts in this subject and I don't dabble into frivolities. If as sincere Muslims, whether in favour or not, that is ones cup of tea, just don't misinterprete ayat with your wishful thinking or thoughts, this is what ahlul kitab do that made them to perpetually sink into manifest error and disbelief. If we must talk, talk from the cup of knowledge, not from "skyscraper", better, silence is adorable. It is not about how fast our fingers are on the pad or how many likes we get from our numerous online friends whether they understand the subject or not. Quoting you is germaine to discussions like this because everyone will account for all his/her deeds in the day of accountability, whether those deeds are oral or through actions. Our mouths, hands, eyes, ears etc will all give account. To avoid being quoted, decorum is as well important, tell us succinctly what the Quran, hadiths, tafsir or the ijma of rightly guided scholars say and interpretations. Thanks for your candid advice to go to bed, in fact, I have done that and already awake before reading it. Salam alaykum waramahtuhllah. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by salaamnurudeen: 7:06am On Apr 15, 2017 |
I hope @ Ayadeji and the other sisters in this forum will learn from this true life story and understand one of the reasons why our LORD has legislated Polygamy. "SECOND WIFE" ..I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love... Second wife! The words reverberated through my brain. Why? Am I not good enough? Never! I will never accept a second wife! If you want a second wife you can go out and get one as long as you know that I will not be here when you come back! Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. 'She is having a hard time', he said, she didn't know where the next meal is coming from or how to provide adequately for her children. "Where is their father?" I asked, "Can't he take care of his own kids? Why do you, a strange man have to carry another man's burden? Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her! I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. Sharing my husband with another woman. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. It was unacceptable. An outrage. After all I have been to him. Wife, mother, doctor, housekeeper. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH! NO! I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. If she walks in, I walk out! Plain and simple. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. I will not stand for it! It all seems so many years ago now. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. But it did.... My husband did not get married to a second wife. After all my warnings and threats of leaving he abandoned the idea. I don't know what happened to the women and children. My guess is that they moved on to another town. He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. I managed to hang on to my husband but I didn't know that our time was running out. His last words to me were that he had a headache and is going to lie down till Esha. He never read Esha namaaz that night, because he never woke up. I was devastated by his sudden death. The man whom I have spent my life with, snatched away from me in a second. I mourned him for a long, long time. Neglecting my children and the business. Soon all went to waste and we started losing everything one by one. First the car then the shop, then the house. We moved in with my brother and his family. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. I needed to get out, to work and find a place of our own instead of living off the leftovers of others. But I had no skill. When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. I had no need to go out and work or or equip myself with a skill. Life was very difficult for me and my children and I wasn't young anymore. I missed him everyday with every beat of my heart. How could ones condition change so drastically? One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. It's the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. But how different the circumstances. He came to my brothers house to see me. There was an immediate connection between us. I liked him and I liked everything about him. He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesn't know what her reaction will be when he tells her that he had found someone. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy. I started reading Istikhara that night. I so desperately wanted it to work out. I remembered so many years ago when the life of another woman depended on my decision and what my decision was. I felt contrite, I felt that because I did not give another woman a chance, a space in my life, that Allah Ta'ala will punish me this time around. I repented, not once in my life did I think my action worthy of repentance because I had done nothing wrong. I only protected what was mine. Now that I am on the receiving end, I realized how wrong I was in denying another woman this PRIVILEGE of a husband. I prayed that she will accept me. He phoned me a few days later telling me that his wife is having a hard time accepting it but that she is willing to meet me. I was nervous the day of the meeting. I prayed a lot the day before and asked Allah Ta'ala to help me. When I met her, she was a person, a woman like me . A woman who loves her husband and fears losing him. She took my hand and with tears in her eyes said: " This is very hard for me, but I hope that we can be sisters" her words broke my heart. All I needed in these dark days was a hand reaching out to me and embracing me, giving me hope and the will to carry on. His wife was to me, the woman that I could not be and I will be forever grateful for that. I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. You never know a person's situation until you are in it. Judge by what is right according to Qu'ran and you will see how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will send double fold. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by tintingz(m): 7:21am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Imagine the hogwash coming out from this set of Muslims mouth, "women are more in hell"?,What a fuckry, degrading, egoistic, misogyny, overzealous patriarchy statements to rubbish the women folks. Some religious beliefs are just too ridiculous. 3 Likes |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by sarahade(f): 7:49am On Apr 15, 2017 |
transient123:Please leave me alone. You have not proved anything this are just words from the Internet. Stop assuming being just doesn't have 50 meanings. It's a simple word stop adding 100 to it. 1 Like |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by transient123(m): 8:02am On Apr 15, 2017 |
sarahade: Leave you alone? Is anyone holding you in the first instance, hope you know holding you is worse to holding a red hot coal? Huh. Internet words indeed, 500 meanings for the word "just" in the ayat (Quran) or in the dictionary I guess, now you nailed it, there is no need to continue educating ourselves on this subject anymore going by these your assertions. WA Salam alaykum waramahtuhllah wabarakatuh. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Rashduct4luv(m): 9:42am On Apr 15, 2017 |
I see some following Kitab was Sunnah. I see some being influenced by the Western culture ; feminism, films, movies, etc. Some are speaking only from the secular level. Some will argue disliking what Allah permits till they leave Islam unconsciously. And you see non-muslims adding salt to the injury we exposed. "Oh Allah! Show us the Truth as Truth and give us the ability to follow it and show us the Falsehood and Falsehood and give us the ability to avoid it." Ameen 1 Like |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Okeji(m): 10:21am On Apr 15, 2017 |
daretodiffer:Not at all. I only enlightened d lady based on d clarification of d verses of d quran n d hadiths that were quoted. She ought to read d verses n comprehend d article b4 attacking pple in an aggressive manner. The words of Allah n His prophet r very clear n devoid of ambiguity, why then she dare called it wickedness? That ws my point |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Pataricatering(f): 10:54am On Apr 15, 2017 |
Eno38151: |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Sissie(f): 12:47pm On Apr 15, 2017 |
daretodiffer: I said many men, not most men. Many here does not mean most. I chose not to say few because there are no real statistics, and bad news travel far. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Sissie(f): 12:52pm On Apr 15, 2017 |
sarahade: You said not to quote you then you quoted me again to answer. What happened to your shaking body, it is still itching you. Babe, Just don't reply me, if you can't reply me in a civilized intellectual manner, just ignore my comment. 3 Likes |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by sarahade(f): 2:36pm On Apr 15, 2017 |
Sissie:Ok |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Queenakande(f): 5:20pm On Apr 16, 2017 |
salaamnurudeen:subhanallah very touching. Alhamdulillah for my life. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:09am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Rashduct4luv:I don't understand ya akhi |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:15am On Apr 18, 2017 |
donmalcolm21:Islam will always be there till the end of time. A Muslim shouldn't be making the last part of the comment you just made. 1 Like |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by donmalcolm21(m): 9:18am On Apr 18, 2017 |
udatso:Sometimes we need to telll ourselves the tuth |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:21am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Billyonaire:Thanks for your contribution but The op wanted answers based on his faith and not some opinion of some random guy. you should know that a good Muslim doesn't at Any point in time separate from his faith. 1 Like |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:24am On Apr 18, 2017 |
donmalcolm21:This isn't about telling ourselves the truth. What you said is wrong. Islam will always be there except you chose to strip Islam from your identity. While I might agree with your first point when though it wasn't well placed, I find your second point totally wrong. A Muslim's choices should be guided by his deen. It's a very wrong remark to say Islam won't be there when trouble happens. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:26am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Movingcoil: ![]() |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 9:59am On Apr 18, 2017 |
Billyonaire:I think you and wordworld should talk |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Nobody: 2:38pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
udatso: If a man feels hurt because his PERSON was 'INSULTED'. Is such a feeling of hurt not a reflection of EGOISM? Yet he has accussed you of being EGOCENTRIC. I dont really think i would love to talk with such mindset who cant see for themselves who they themselves are in the MIRROR of TRUTH. Brother i hope you are doing fine. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 3:28pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
WORDWORLD:I am doing well sir. It's been a while |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 4:17pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
Why didn't I join this thread sooner. Well after reading from the first page to the last, I definitely know some of our stubborn Muslim nairalanders who would rather tell you to leave them alone than take correction. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
udatso:Alhamdulillah! |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by Rashduct4luv(m): 6:15pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
udatso: A lady's attitude towards that Hadith of fragrance wasn't ok. |
Re: Islamically, Is It Permissible To Divorce My Husband Based On Polygamy? by udatso: 6:23pm On Apr 18, 2017 |
Rashduct4luv:Yeah. I thought she wasn't a Muslim so I didn't care |
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