Past experiences can be one of the greatest stories to share and even start an interesting conversation with your friends and lovers. No wonder the best comedians today are the ones who use their past/real life experiences to tell jokes.

Your past experiences could be months, year or decades ago. It all depends on how it taught you a lesson or how it made you laugh out loud or smile each time it flashes on your head.

For me, most of my funny experiences happened as a kid. I could remember when boys act like sissies and girls act like machos. Thanks to puberty that corrected the error

I could remember how I was bullied by a girl ....Calm down, she doesn't look like a girl.

I was about 11 and she was 12. This girl looks masculine. No breasts at all. She has yam legs and huge biceps. -:\

There was a day I decided to act the man I am and face my fears(as my dad always would advised). I met her and challenged her to a fight. I didn't know I made the biggest mistake of my life .


In the afternoon, others came out and they formed a circle and we were both in the circle like a brawl .

Before I could say Jack Robinson, I was lifted high above my enemies and my legs were just swinging like a pendulum. The only thing I could say was "you no go drop me now? Drop me 1..2...3...4". That only got her angrier and the next thing, I was given a De'rica of sand in my mouth.

Well, I fought a good fight though. E no easy to survive such fight. .


Each time I have that flashback, I just smile sheepishly.

The girl is a mother of 5 now


Share yours...


Cc: Lalasticlala

Had to use the toilet, informed the class teacher but he said "NO" in cemented block letters.

Returned to the seat but couldn't hold it and so "the battle was ultimately lost". Seatmate noticed it, begged her to keep mum while a way to clean up was found. She nodded in agreement, a sigh of relief.

As the fvcking teacher was about to step out, the unexpected voice called out.
"Uncle, uncle, he yav wee wee on his body"

Laughter followed... Damn! Wee weed the remaining right on the spot, shït join

Serious caning followed, was handed a girl's gown while them messed up uniforms were washed and dried.

Changed the seat

It was during my secondary school days. I was in my fourth year and I was the newly appointed health prefect. Next thing I know the school administrator told me to " take care" of the toilet I blatantly refused and I was punished in front of the whole school and almost got suspended from school.
It was later I realized that all I had to do was organise junior students to do the "job"
Also in my third year in the University. I was in class having a discourse with a friend while lecture was ongoing. Suddenly the class became silent and I was clutching my head in pain. Lo and behold! the ceiling fan directly above me had crashed on my head . I became an instant celebrity as 1000+ eyes were on me and my friend. Thank God I was unscathed save for bruises on my neck

Tazdroid:


Had to use the toilet, informed the class teacher but he said "NO" in cemented block letters.

Returned to the seat but couldn't hold it and so "the battle was ultimately lost". Seatmate noticed it, begged her to keep mum while a way to clean up was found. She nodded in agreement, a sigh of relief.

As the fvcking teacher was about to step out, the unexpected voice called out.
"Uncle, uncle, he yav wee wee on his body"

Laughter followed... Damn! Wee weed the remaining right on the spot, shït join

Serious caning followed, was handed a girl's gown while them messed up uniforms were washed and dried.

Changed the seat

That moment, you will look like a clown

Tazdroid:


Had to use the toilet, informed the class teacher but he said "NO" in cemented block letters.

Returned to the seat but couldn't hold it and so "the battle was ultimately lost". Seatmate noticed it, begged her to keep mum while a way to clean up was found. She nodded in agreement, a sigh of relief.

As the fvcking teacher was about to step out, the unexpected voice called out.
"Uncle, uncle, he yav wee wee on his body"

Laughter followed... Damn! Wee weed the remaining right on the spot, shït join

Serious caning followed, was handed a girl's gown while them messed up uniforms were washed and dried.

Changed the seat

When they no kuku hear you...its not ur fault ojare.

Some teachers and parents are killing the expressive talents of their wards because of unnecessary fear they instill in them.

Mine would be the day I got a love letter from a guy describing a one sided kiss with several embellishments and gory. He embarrassed me with the picture he painted...looking back, It makes me smile.

This dude came to my school in Ibadan all the way from Lagos. It was during the O-levels preparatory classes, so Seniors stayed back in school. Dude and I loved each when we wrote alone. On paper, he was the love of my life cos he could write me a novel as letters. When his letters come, me and my girls would spend several hours reading and rereading...he knew how to make a woman feel good( yeah, girl-woman ). In reality, he wasn't even my kind of guy...short and bowlegged

Anyways, he came to visit me and he was allowed in because I was a prefect. We had a whole class to ourselves and dude just sat there not saying any particular thing. We spent half of his visit being silent and talking about nothing in particular. Eventually, he was ready to go and I made to hug him. Oga drew me tightly and smacked my lips with a kiss! It was my first! Terribly inconsequential! I saw him off and decided I didn't want him anymore.

Imagine my surprise when he wrote describing the kiss. Remember the norm was to pass the letter round? I couldn't do it. I ran with the letter to escape my perceived shame. This was a guy I told all I didn't like. This same guy was smirked about after he left by all and sundry. Imagine me kissing him. I ran and they gave chase. It was as if the heavens would fall if they read it. They were determined. Eventually, I fell into a gutter and some of them followed me in Had to remain there while tearing and chewing as fast as I could. Till today, I have an injury on my leg to show for my courageous secret keeping...them eediotic girls thought he wrote about us having se..x. Eventually, the scandal that followed was more than would have blown if they had read the letter.

As for the guy, I broke up with him brutally afterwards. When I look back, I can't help LOL.

The second poster made me remembered sometimes in 2009 when I was returning from work one hot afternoon and I was pressed(I was purging earlier ) .....
MyGod, it was hell. Only to get home and realized no one was home.I was to get the spare key from Mumc from a not too far location.... I was walking fast and will slow down when the poo seem close.... Hot sweats were Mad over me.

My stomach was rumbling and ranting. My anus was under pressure. .i was disorganized.
Called Mum but she refused to come to me, rather she sent someone to give me the key....
No-one to share my ordeal with. (Aye le music comes to heart).

I tiptoed, crawled, ran, walked up .........**input all means of movement you know here** just to get home in time before Mr poo messes me

I got to the gate, unlocked the padlock......... The race from gate to the door..... Usain Bolt got nothing on me.....





That moment you let all out...... Then More hot sweat tickled down my body.
Lolxxxcccccc

My most recent was similar but I was sweating in chilling AC.

Enroute Lagos Island from Farrr Alimosho ... Lawd have mercy.... ...The rhythmic movement in my stomach pass DJ beats
It wasntt easy..
But it was worth it holding or else..... Embarrassment will be an understatement !!!

Survivor of stomach unsettlement and convenience matters
May I witness no more

Those carefree days when the girls in Makama Bida Hall engaged in free-for-all cussfests with the dudes in Sodeinde Hall.

We were neighbours, you see. We could not waka in peace without the boys cat-calling or making fun of our dressing. The 'war' I got directly involved in was the one that erupted when one naughty boy declared that somebody's pant (she hanged it on her window to dry) was big enough to sew Iro and buba.

Goodness, that night was bloody. I could have sworn they heard the ruckus yonder Senate building. We flocked to our windows and the backyard to cuss ourselves out and pour 'pant water' on the boys. The 'battle' only ended when the hall porters threatened to call the infamous UNILAG 'Black Maria' to arrest us for disturbing the peace.

Aaaaaah, those were the days...

So just this last week, I wanted to buy a stick glue (uhu) I searched all through the bookshops at oshodi market, I couldn't get, the only woman that has said it goes for N1200, so I bought it, though was thinking how can a glue go for that amount of money, on my way back, I met this my customer and asked him, he said he has the glue but not the uhu brand, and it costs N300, chai, I told him I'm coming, I'll see him in some seconds,

I went back to d woman I bought d glue from, I told her I was called not to get d glue again, she said she wount give me back my money, I begged this woman for 30 minutes but she refused, in fact she was using me to do so many things in her shop, eating, jisting and what have you, na so I vex o, drag all the exercise books wey dey outside, start to dey rake for vanacular/ broken English. If you drag gburu today, gburu go drag you, who you dey feel like boss for? I go show you say me sef get craze for head.

The woman no believe say this person wey dey beg now now don change am, I started saying things that even me my self don't believe I could say on top of my voice, so some other of her colleagues came around and appealed to her to return my money back. As desperate as this woman is, she said she was going to lay a curse on d money, I told her that if dem born four of you well, curse money make I dey look you, you go see today, it's with trembling she gave me the money o.

As I got into d bus even till now, I still dey laugh say e good make person get small craze o, otherwise, people will override you any how.

Very funny experiences

I'd just finished a stressful meeting and on the way home I'd farted in an elevator at the top floor...and stepped out immediately afterwards to catch another one.

I cannot come and kii myself...I heard the story at the reception that something died inside the elevator.

Sad, I was a loner back then

Chelsea knocking out Spurs is the only experience I have...KTBFFH

xynerise:
Past experiences can be one of the greatest stories to share and even start an interesting conversation with your friends and lovers. No wonder the best comedians today are the ones who use their past/real life experiences to tell jokes.

Your past experiences could be months, year or decades ago. It all depends on how it taught you a lesson or how it made you laugh out loud or smile each time it flashes on your head.

For me, most of my funny experiences happened as a kid. I could remember when boys act like sissies and girls act like machos. Thanks to puberty that corrected the error

I could remember how I was bullied by a girl ....Calm down, she doesn't look like a girl.

I was about 11 and she was 12. This girl looks masculine. No breasts at all. She has yam legs and huge biceps. -:\

There was a day I decided to act the man I am and face my fears(as my dad always would advised). I met her and challenged her to a fight. I didn't know I made the biggest mistake of my life .


In the afternoon, others came out and they formed a circle and we were both in the circle like a brawl .

Before I could say Jack Robinson, I was lifted high above my enemies and my legs were just swinging like a pendulum. The only thing I could say was "you no go drop me now? Drop me 1..2...3...4". That only got her angrier and the next thing, I was given a De'rica of sand in my mouth.

Well, I fought a good fight though. E no easy to survive such fight. .


Each time I have that flashback, I just smile sheepishly.

The girl is a mother of 5 now


Share yours...

Now this is not some decade old funny experience...it's very much recent but it tears me apart with laughter


A song was playing and I and my sibling were grooving and singing along...then we got to the part "Ema jijo mi o,ema lo bi ti indomie o(dance with ni,twist like noodle)...then my Mum replied "Orisirisi orin...lo bi indomie? Ekuku supo bi eba" I.e "Don't twist like noodle but _ like eba(can't find the right English word)."
Naija Mums for life!

FIRST ONE
It was in Yabatech(when boko boys ere throwing banga anyhow) ,there are some "unisex" toilets there .Civil Engineering building to be precise .
Na so i go blast o,i set an alarm on my wrist watch.
There was a girl blasting in the next toilet .
Na so alarm begin ring o.(it sounds like a ticking bomb)
Fear catch the girl "what is that ooo,pls somebody who is there o".
I had to clear her fears ,shouting from the next toilet "somebody is here o,it is not bomb o its is my watch o"

SECOND ONE
was in Jss3 , I was being transferred to another school .And I had a crush on Deborah,Omo i cry tire ,.Why is my father wicked like this

When i got the highest CGPA of 4.70 in my department ( electrical/electronics)

mine was in Jss2...
I went to the toilet to ease myself and as fate would have it my zip refuse to give way and I unirated on my knicker...I almost felt like crying.. thank God it was during class period so I hid somewhere to sun dry the knicker,when it was dry enough,I went to the class,few minutes later my classmates started complaining of the smell of urine, as a sharp guy I join them too...
I later went to sit alone at the back of the class...all through that day evey teacher that came to class complained of the odour but I manage to escape uncaught...
it was an experience I can't forget in a hurry.

OP you fought a girl and you're bragging about it on NL, Shame no catch you?

Lolz

Bring it on

Ff
Will brb
Need to gnaw at this tough bone

i fvcked a girl who had always told me she was a virgin and found out she has a big borehole between her legs.

LOL! it made me laugh hard.

i'm still laughing now..

passing by

Ok now

My first Mouth Action it was so crude n refined

Around 2012, I was at a party with my friends somewhere in Mushin , Lagos state when one of my guys got into a fight with one other guy.
Unknown to us, the other guy was a cultist and we were surrounded by his goons. After settling the fight, the next thing we know three guys already ganged up and started beating my friend.
We were outnumbered four to ten and I was the slimmest of the whole lot. I kid you not, I singlehanded knocked out the three guys beating my friend with my left fist (lefty lomo) . The rest of the Cultists were like "wow who is this guy".
Till today I never pass that area