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Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Sanchez01: 12:17pm On Apr 26, 2017
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.
I've been reading the emboldened repeatedly and can't seem to make sense out of it. Misuse, I believe.

Anyways, the blame goes to you, I mean ALMOST everything. That your M-I-L 'misapporiated' funds you gave to her to organize whatever is not enough justification to 'lash out' at your wife. Her mum seems to be pulling certain strings and you as the head of your home, seems to be playing into her hands. Ideally, you should have kept your cool and postponed it to another day, if at all you needed to refer to the issue.

Your wife seems to have been well 'tutored' during her leave from the house. I guess it explains why she came home 'prepared' for the worst, and also why she didn't waste time in picking her things.

Truth be told, this isn't a 'teething' period, most importantly, for people who have been living together before now. Your problem seems fundamental; unfortunately, the best you can do at this point is to apologize to her people, even though you come off as one who might have issues doing so.

But then again, apologizing would equally imply submitting your balls for unnecessary wahala, since you claimed you were unfairly treated by her mother. Her family seems to be angry at the fact that you 'embarrassed' them during the traditional wedding, hence, it could be why they're 'tired'.

Take charge of your home with little or no outburst. It seems the family you married from are hitmen.
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Nobody: 12:18pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.
in Daniel Akpata voice what u follow depend on what will follow you I wil like to advice you dont continue the marriage which ur partner is no longer interested in it again just believe God will take care of your little boy.

2 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by gnykelly(m): 12:18pm On Apr 26, 2017
mohaMADbuari:
Nawao.... I feel your pain OP....
Some in-laws are just wicked
this is OP alternate moniker.
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Pritypussi(f): 12:18pm On Apr 26, 2017
you married the wrong person with a wrong family.

This should serve as lesson to those boys out there who thinks relationships end in sex and 'I love you' only.. Family and moral upbringing matters too

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by 2016v2017: 12:19pm On Apr 26, 2017
Fifthcolumnist:
If your story is complete and true then your wife is entirely to blame. Although, I think fuming at her to save face was unnecessary and poorly managed. You know women are proud beings and hate being attacked even when they are wrong.

But, you can't risk loosing your marriage for the sake of pride and "saving face". Infact, if your marriage breaks down after just one week together, you'll have no face at all how much more one to save. You have to loosen up, swallow your high standards, and play the fool for the sake of your marriage before things get out of hand. Apologise to her and her family telling them, the stress of the whole event got to you and you're sorry you managed the situation poorly. Do this in the interest of peace and forget about rightness or wrong. After all, it's your marriage to keep, not theirs' or anyone else's.
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by 2bam: 12:19pm On Apr 26, 2017
in my earlier post about the landlord that killed his wife in Lagos I said women are the cause of most of these domestic violence ,my brother most women are bad or do you want to marry every 2mnths.the fact is that don t divorce. we are only managing them and try to tolerate your woman,never you think of divorce all women are the same
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Oluwahelpme(m): 12:20pm On Apr 26, 2017
Ok
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by MARKone(m): 12:20pm On Apr 26, 2017
OP hold your two ears. If what you wrote here is accurate, ps do not initiate any peace move, I repeat do not. Man up and hold on to that your son, let them return the dowery and the money ur mother in law swindled from you. Marriage that is not up to a year and she is saying she no do again, is that one marriage, a beg oblige them a nd don't look back, Na them go come crawling and begging, then you set and say how you want to run ur family.

marv1:

If truely you are serious and genuine seek the help of marriage counselor rather than the inexperienced kids on nairaland. You can not build a house on a faulty foundation.



Not everyone here is a kid, sir. Many write with maturity, cloaked in experience. The foundation like you rightly is faulty, very faulty and if op would be open enough, they've been having series of issues prior to this. It is not every marital issues that counselling saves, some people are just not meant to be together.

5 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by clems88(m): 12:21pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.
take a look at my signature bro. In my opinion itz possible shez seeing someone else. Just go bk and talk sense into her skull

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by 2016v2017: 12:21pm On Apr 26, 2017
waywardpikin:
The first thing I can deduce from this story (if true) is that you married from a very wrong family. There are many families like this in obodo lagos, where there is an absence of a strong & rational male figure as the head of the home (yeah I know, he's late). Families like this have little or no regard for marriage, which explains the reason why the mum is solidly behind her. This explains why the arrangements for your traditional marriage were so shoddy. The money probably went into more important things like Aso ebi, ankara, jewelry and other n.gbati n.gbati. No be today something.

I have no advice for you; most likely you saw the signs but decided that 'true love conquers all.' Thus, I'd like to use your story as a good opportunity to advice people out there (men and women alike) to critically observe the family of the person you intend to marry before taking that crucial life-altering step. In most cases, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Xoxo,

Wayward Pikin.
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by mazizitonene(m): 12:21pm On Apr 26, 2017
Kondomatic:
I don't know what to say but I think I know what/who killed her father
you my friend are a smart man....

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by marv1: 12:23pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.

If truely you are serious and genuine seek the help of marriage counselor rather than the inexperienced kids on nairaland. You can not build a house on a faulty foundation.
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by mazizitonene(m): 12:23pm On Apr 26, 2017
Fifthcolumnist:

But, you can't risk loosing your marriage for the sake of pride and "saving face". Infact, if your marriage breaks down after just one week together, you'll have no face at all how much more one to save. You have to loosen up, swallow your high standards, and play the fool for the sake of your marriage before things get out of hand. Apologise to her and her family telling them, the stress of the whole event got to you and you're sorry you managed the situation poorly. Do this in the interest of peace and forget about rightness or wrong. After all, it's your marriage to keep, not theirs' or anyone else's.
you want the op to die before his time abi......its alright.

2 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by DeepSight(m): 12:24pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.

Ol boy, you never jam. This is a small insignificant issue. Resolve it and move on.
BTW i dont see why you were not more active in planning the trad. You just handed out cash and expected them to do the rest?

I sincerely hope you dont deploy the same s.illy attitude to business.

3 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by bbjummy: 12:25pm On Apr 26, 2017
last35:
Karma is just a bitch! [b]You short changed and disgraced your inlaws by impregnating their daughter before the normal stuffs... [/b]Why will day waste money on the marriage of after 1??
Are you really sure the lady didn't plan the bolded? Ladies can do anything to keep a comfortable man. Don't be quick to accuse him. Affix yourself in a man's shoes sometimes and u will understand that some women are guilty as well. I'm sure he didn't rape her or drugged her.

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Nobody: 12:26pm On Apr 26, 2017
ikemesit4477:
No lady will like to have a hot temper man as a husband

huhhhh shocked

but she lived with him for two years and agreed to marry him.

I think our society is just giving women way too much leeway. Everyone is of the opinion to treat her with "kids" glove. Whatever happened to her taking responsibility for her foolish actions.


How woman go seize wife wen dem don pay her bride price?

3 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by gustav25: 12:26pm On Apr 26, 2017
dreamwords:
That lady is cheating in you

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by ghostmist: 12:26pm On Apr 26, 2017
repogirl:
OP, you don enter o!

I advise you to stand your ground and not beg her family. You did nothing wrong. Hold on to your son,when your wife is ready she will come to her husbands house. It might be hard caring for him in the beginning but you will get a hang of it after a while, it will become routine.

It seems the womans family is trying you to see the type of man you will be. If you start by begging for your wife, you will beg always. Your wife is wrong and she has to know she is very wrong. They kuku have no male figure of authority and thats why they are doing this. Sorry to say but some mothers no just dey try at all!

Another thing you can do is storm her house but not to beg. To complain that you dont understand what they are up to, she and her mother. Dont sound like you are begging o, sound like a dissatisfied husband. Go with elderly family members to resolve the issue.
I love this...
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by phillips1959: 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
Hey, take my advise KEEP COOL, DONT MAKE ANY MOVE,HOLD YOUR SIDE, let your wife and her family make the first move.Then you will know her mind.
You married her for the sake of your son and they know that. Now you must pretend you are not desperate to keep the boy.Let them expose their game plan then you decide what to do.If they come with trouble to take the boy,dont offer any resistance.It will shock them.
If you are desperate to keep a family just for the sake of your son,you will regret the marriage.Dont head for divorse.Remain separated till she starts to reason on her own without external influence.Just wait and see.She will surely seek you and when she does accept her back.But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE,dont initiate reconciliation no matter how long.Dont speak to third parties about it .Just keep cool.It will turn out good al last.Be positive.Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by stevecantrell: 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
This is what happens when u make your baby mama your wife...it can happen to the best of us.

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by farous(m): 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
Apollux:

Sorry to disagree with u sir. What u just suggested is not a solution. How long will he continue to play the full and apologize to the wife when is the one wrong?
I'd suggest that the op takes his time out to really investigate this issue. Something else is involved here and he needs to find out before taking a decision.
If the marriage wont work, it will not no matter the amount of apologies he tender. Well I think he should involve his family, present the matter to them and see their response.

Gbam!. On point. This is a good time to investigate and know if the marriage will work out or not.Forget about people asking you to appologise,work on anger.blablabla.Bros,marriage can't be managed,otherwise you are entering into a hell fire instead of joyful home. Please investigate and conclude on whether to continue or pull out.Its ur life.

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Juliearth(f): 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
I feel your pain op. But then, you know that marriage is not a bed of Roses. Your wife and her family were disrespectful to you,but please,be the bigger man here and forgive,apologise if you have to so peace can reign.

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by YoungBlackRico(m): 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
So you have all these problems to deal with in real life and you still get time to Abuse Buhari and Afonjas on Nairaland grin Chai, now I understand why most of you pour out your anger, frustration and aggression on innocent members of this great forum



I wish you the best though.

©YBR

4 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by ijayebonyi(f): 12:28pm On Apr 26, 2017
Nawaoooo
Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by babyfaceafrica: 12:29pm On Apr 26, 2017
OP..knows the right thing to do....but because of mumu love..he won't.. Its your marriage.. Continue......Like someone said..we know how the gals father died

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Nobody: 12:30pm On Apr 26, 2017
You have done nothing wrong really and your In-laws have also done nothing wrong. I see a picture of a not very well to do family, who prefer to save the money dedicated to their daughter's wedding for a more important need. And you feel short-changed cos you sacrificed the little you had to get a standard wedding but you feel betrayed. Yes, the truth is that emphatic ladies who are so inexperienced on how to manage their love for their families are always used by parents to play games with men in order to gain financial support. This is one of such cases if I am not mistaken.

Now, your anger is not just that betrayal, it is the utter disregard for your supremacy in the marriage.

My advise;
This is NOT the time to use your heart, the heart tunes you to love and give all, but the brain, actually the left brain hemisphere is the guy you need now, so in order to use your left brain, you must not feed your heart with feelings of love and lust of your wife for now. So, create artificial scarcity. Delete your wife's phone number, except you are principled enough not to call her. I mean block her, delete her phone number, cut off all communications with her for a month. If she calls, do not pick. It is the only way you can get her back to her senses and to your life without the controls of the parents. People threaten to leave because they know you are weak and will not stand being alone. This is what got you in the mess in the first place.

So, after a month or less or more, depending on how you manage your emotion. When she stays at her parents place for a week, second week and third week without hearing from you, she will come over on the pretense of coming to see the child, your child. If she insist on taking her child, do not stop her, do not even say no, just say give her the go-ahead and see how she crumbles. If she goes away with the child, she is the stubborn type that is not supposed to be married to you in the first place then activate the next plan.

If she goes with your child, you will request for a refund of your bride price, and see how they become ashamed and come to beg. Yes, they will come to beg, not because they like you but because of the shame they will face. So when that time comes, you give them your conditions and make sure your wife sees a different man in you than she has ever known you to be. She will try to find out which woman makes you strong, and yes, if you feel like, you need a woman to teach you about the mind of women. Women do not really adore the man they have, not enough until they realize that another woman loves you more the way you are than the way she loves you. That breaks their defenses.

Learn to know when to use your heart and when to use your brain. This makes a lot of difference in our experiences in life.

I personally can not vouch that I have not met tough ladies, I have seen the demon himself come through a woman to play me the superior games of life. Then at that moment, what helps is getting a side chic that has a better angel. On that quantum level, the war or peace has to be won and humans will easily resolve the conflict. Your wife seems to be narcissistic and she is with you because you provide her narcissistic supply. You attract her to you because you are emphatic, you love to help people and right now, you are getting burnt. It is more serious than you think and you need to get a hold of your mind, cos you sometimes might think you are going nuts, or may be its your fault, it is not. You are dealing with something bigger than you and need your brain not your heart this moment.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by jesus500(m): 12:30pm On Apr 26, 2017
baibrown:
Horrible woman to leave from Tuesday to Friday with no explanation. I'm sure you hurt her feelings very well but to leave for 3 nights you must not accept or you lose all power forever. Keep the child until she begs you to forgive her but don't forget to apologize first for hurting her on her wedding day.
well said.

1 Like

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by Adebowale89(m): 12:31pm On Apr 26, 2017
like Yoruba used to say iyawo buruku shey fe sugbon ana buruku Ose ni

meaning

one can still marry bad wife but bad in law is not good to have


just chill, don't rush to take decision now and I won't subscribe to you apologising because u will take yourself for granted


you apologising now is like abusing your marital right as a man but divorce is a no no no


infact I don't pray for divorce for my enemies

2 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by REDDEVILS1(m): 12:31pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.
Nna I thank God for your like. God has revealed it early enough for you. Biko move on with ur life. Pls I take God beg let her go oh. God will provide ur better half. This one na Just temptation.

2 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by palsenator(m): 12:33pm On Apr 26, 2017
BuariCopyPaste:


That was awesomely put..... thanks
I am married and I think I can help a bit from experience. It is obviously you don't want to face the truth. The signs are all over but you chose to ignore. Your wife wanted divorce are few days of marriage and you are fuming cos of something else (though important) . If you beg her to stay, one day she will still go. I see no reason why you should beg her not to go.. You can sought an audience with her and talk to her to change her mind but begging her is out of it. I pity your child in the middle of this mess but am sure your baby will be fine. As per your wife, and your mother in law, be ready to face a tougher future with them even if she eventually decides to stay. back in your marriage.

7 Likes

Re: Married Last Week, Already Set For Divorce. Help A Nairalander Make A Decision by DeRay98(m): 12:33pm On Apr 26, 2017
When a girl is under the total control of her mother without a sense of her own, this happens.
When you marry from a home where the mother is shameless and no other respected male figure like your wife's paternal uncle to handle this misbehaviour wahala dey.
If you say "Love conquers" and take this with kids gloves your authority has been tested and you 'll be powerless in your home. Mother-in-law has signalled her intention to pocket you with the collaboration of her daughter.
Did you find out how her father died from other sources?
The poor man may have died from the stress of a troublesome wife.
People who say you should go and beg her have no idea what they're saying.
Get elders from your family and community to send a delegation to her father's family (they received your dowry not her mother) to
Ask them to call her to explain to them why her mother did what she did
Why against known traditional order, she married and dissappeared for days without neither your consent or your family's.
She has since left your house after you scolded her irresponsible behaviour which you absolutely have the power and right to do.
If they won't receive your delegation as culture demands
It's in your power and right to demand for the return of your dowry within a set time frame.
If they don't respond head for the customary court in that village jurisdiction.
If una slack on this matter your misery for many years has been planted.

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