I have been busy lately with relationship counselling but I remembered I have some people here who can't get access to me physically so holla!



WARNING
This post is not for sluggish ladies.


Welcome here, take your time as you read this part. You ought to know that before you train chickens you must have some knowledge of chickens, you can't just engage in a fish pond business if you have not studied about fishes else all your money and time will go down the loo.



Same here, you can't learn how to tackle the male ego without a sound understanding of your subject - MEN! In this thread am going to lead you into an unbelievable journey into the men's psychology. How is thinks, why he thinks the way he thinks and... wait! Have you ever pondered before and ask "What do men really want?" o yeah! You have! We all have! At some point before I gained full knowledge about men I used to ask this same question. Now am here to give you a simple answer to that complex question. For me to do this in a very interesting way that will make you understand fully, I will be breaking it into two parts. They are:


* What the society moulded men into


* What men really are.
Let's take on the first.

WHAT THE SOCIETY MOULDED MEN INTO.


I will like to use a real life story to explain this for better understanding. Many years ago while I was still a secondary school teacher in one of the states in Nigeria. I was teaching Chemistry to my students when the discussion drifted to 'what are your life ambitions?' they started giving me normal teenage answers and out of the blues a boy told me 'I will like to have a wife who will always cook for me, wash my clothe and give me children' I was not really stunned until I asked 'So you will like to control your wife, and he gave me an assuring 'yes' for an answer and I decide to throw the topic to the class. 'Men and women who are superior!' and I got a louder 'Men' than 'women' even though the girls were more in my class, which means even the girls believe that the men are more superior to them. Not satisfied with this mentally my students have, I decided we argue it out so I called up Akudo who happened to be one of the smart students in my class and asked her 'Will you like to be controlled by any man?' and her reply is as same as yours. 'No' she replied me and I called up Binta, another bright female student and asked her same question and she also replied me in the negative. 'See none of the ladies here will like to be controlled by any man so why will you wish to control your wife?' I asked Chizuru- the boy who stirred the argument with his statement and he replied that 'men are made superior by God' I knew he has been convinced by the society for him to bring God into the matter, so I went ahead to ask him a simple question.
'Did you in any way choose your sex while in your mother's womb?'
'No' he replied.
'So imagine you were not given birth as a male but a female will you loved to be controlled by any of these boys in the future?' I asked and his countenance changed as he lowered his eyelid and muttered
'No' in a defeated voice.
Yeah I came to teach chemistry but ended up in discussing gender issues but that sparkled up the class and that little experience made an impact in the mind of the teens no matter what, if you are a teacher note that sometimes issues like this should be raised in the classroom to help alleviate the ills being passed down to the teens.



From the above story you'll realise that the male ego is not something that the male is born with, it's something he was moulded into. Imagine my student Chizuru, a JSS2 male who at that tender age have already have been ingrained with the mentality that he's got an ego to protect by being superior to the female gender. None of us have power of choice over our sex so why should a particular gender be accorded with a higher reputation than the other even when the female gender is naturally more brilliant.



Here is an in-depth analysis of what the society have moulded men into. As much as am going to make this aspect of my teaching short and straight to the point, I will like to present it to you in a very simplistic manner. When children are given birth to, they are raised in the same manner and treated as equal until a later stage, the training differs. The female grow up trying to be like the mother while the man grows up trying to make the mother become proud of what he is.



Do you catch the drift? They sound almost alike but are quiet different. Now here is a short story of a pretty lady like you who gave birth to a pair of twin- A BOY and A GIRL on a warm cosy sunday evening. Both kids were nurtured as every other kids were nurtured and ytaken well care of and they were named Taiye and Kehinde. Taiye being the male and kehinde the female. Few years on they started schooling. Whenever Taiye and kehinde are playing crazily their mum will scold at kehinde 'Look at how you are playing, don't you know you are a girl?' and to Taiye she'll say 'remember you are a boy, better reduce the way you are play'. Someday while they were returning from school something bad happened and they were both crying, on getting home the mum inquired what went wrong and they told her. Here are reply. To Taiye the boys she said 'How can a boy like you be crying? Don't you know that men don't cry?' and to Kehinde she said 'Come here my dear, clean your tears ok? I will make sure I get things even with anyone who make you cry'
Whenever they complain the mother will rebuke Taiye saying 'You complain a lot, don't you know you are a boy?' and to Kehinde 'Don't worry my dear, I will see what I'll do'
They grew up into adult always being cautioned in different ways, Taiye always got the 'Don't you know you are a boy? You shouldn't do like this or do like that while Kehinde always got the 'Remember you are a girl, you should behave this way and not this way' Taiye grew up into a man who is supposed to shed his emotions to avoid shame and act 'Manly' while Kehinde grew up into a lady who is supposed to be prime and proper and always express her emotions without any shame. Same twins, one mother but different orientation!



Is the picture getting clearer at this point? O yeah it is!
From the story of taiye and Kehinde you'd realise that the male ego starts getting breeded by the mother of the male. Thereby the man grows up into what the mother will become proud of while the female grows to become like her mother! The man is not supposed to show emotions, not that he can't show emotions, the man is supposed to act strong not that he can't be weak. This is what the society have moulded the male folks into, but is this what the male actually is? No! That takes us to the second approach of understanding the male psychology- how he thinks, why he thinks the way he thinks.


Keep a date with me tomorrow for the real deal


I want to be sure someone is reading this so I would love to entertain your questions, just drop them here and get the best advice, I still remain Dr Adadinma The relationship counsellor
Peace

Your write up is gender biased. Can you trace the primary duties of a woman biologically? Plus, can you critique the rationale behind the payment of bride price and not groom price? Leave society out of this, even in the animal kingdom, the male is superior.

Waiting to read the remaining part.

Men are very impressionable you can mould one into anything you want him to be....

Another feminist on the loose. You coward Nigerian feminists have been warned to relocate to USA where you can freely practice and apply your feminism but you won't listen. As long as you are in Nigeria and Africa, you are all subjects to men. No matter what you think you are, no matter the influence of Western culture, you feminist wannabes will end up under our control and service us in za oza room...

None of us have power of choice over our sex so why should a particular gender be accorded with a higher reputation than the other even when the female gender is naturally more brilliant.

Another biased feminist.
How different are you from the male ego you are dissing?

I thought feminism is about equal rights and opportunities for the female folk but it is more like usurp the male role and put him down.

@bolded, make that "naturally more beautiful."

I pray make I read

LordIsaac:
Your write up is gender biased. Can you trace the primary duties of a woman biologically? Plus, can you critique the rationale behind the payment of bride price and not groom price? Leave society put of this, even in the animal kingdom, the male is superior.

Your write up is gender biased.
Helo dear LordIsaac
I will love you to point out any line where I was biased


Can you trace the primary duties of a woman biologically? Plus, can you critique the rationale behind the payment of bride price and not groom price?
The primary duties of a woman biologically is same with that of the man just that the male was groomed into what he is at childhood we all have same reasoning just like in my story but as we get groomed separately we loose that natural behaviour.

Do you know that India do pay groom price? In the North when one gets married it's the woman's family that provide the properties so you can agree with me that culture and ethics varies but the natural behaviour remains even though we strive so hard to thwart it.


even in the animal kingdom, the male is superior.
Are you an animal to know that? Do you communicate with animals? Or are you working under assumption?

Remain in peace dear...
NB;I called in the ladies and you came rushing in to post your thought, doe this thread in anyway poise a threat to your personality?

uzoclinton:
Men are very impressionable you can mould one into anything you want him to be....

You sound like an Elite!
Different from other guys here. Kudos

DaniDani:
Another feminist on the loose. You coward Nigerian feminists have been warned to relocate to USA where you can freely practice and apply your feminism but you won't listen. As long as you are in Nigeria and Africa, you are all subjects to men. No matter what you think you are, no matter the influence of Western culture, you feminist wannabes will end up under our control and service us in za oza room...

menxer:


Another biased feminist.
How different are you from the male ego you are dissing?

I thought feminism is about equal rights and opportunities for the female folk but it is more like usurp the male role and put him down.

@bolded, make that "naturally more beautiful."

Both of you surely did not read al through!

You dumbheads just come to the comment section and started making claims of Feminism.
Rea through again and point out your assertions. Don't be sily

Waiting for ZarZar 's comment

Lol Relationship counsellor my boots! Even though ladies are naturally more brilliant. Really? Where did you get your statistics from? As for making a man submissive, why don't you experiment that on your son. Raise him with the mentality that a woman is his lord and master and he must always bow to their wishes. Leave other wise and clear headed women to raise their sons the proper way.

Lol Relationship counsellor my boots! Even though ladies are naturally more brilliant. Really? Where did you get your statistics from? As for making a man submissive, why don't you experiment that on your son? Raise him with the mentality that a woman is his lord and master and he must always bow to their wishes. Leave other wise and clear headed women to raise their sons the proper way.

DaniDani:
Another feminist on the loose. You coward Nigerian feminists have been warned to relocate to USA where you can freely practice and apply your feminism but you won't listen. As long as you are in Nigeria and Africa, you are all subjects to men. No matter what you think you are, no matter the influence of Western culture, you feminist wannabes will end up under our control and service us in za oza room...

But when a thread was created on how to control woman can't really remember the exact topic you guys didn't mentioned misogynist

Following
Will come back to read

MrsAdadinmma:





Both of you surely did not read al through!

You dumbheads just come to the comment section and started making claims of Feminism.
Rea through again and point out your assertions. Don't be sily

You don't need to bother your pretty head about some comments from some dumb heads... who seize little opportunities to term every female feminist.
As long as you say things they don't want to hear u are a feminist.. Lol.

Btw good Job you are doing. Still following.....

uzoclinton:
Men are very impressionable you can mould one into anything you want him to be....

Humans and animals u mean?

*Clearing a space to pitch my tent* Yea yea,I can totally relate to the stories cited.Only yesterday,I told my 6 y rold nephew to stop crying,be a man.Lol.Really he needed to stop it,cos he's started acting like a girl(crying is a girly stuff.Crying to be heard or get attention.Now who said that?Not me!).Crying at every little thing.Makes me wonder if he can stand and be the man he ought to be-tomorrow.
.
.
.
Hope we don't derail the purpose of this thread with arguements.Aside the reference to Biblical teachings-God created man first,made him the head.The reason why society has buried the gender expectations into us is because of our biological distributions.My view.The physical distribution in men makes society apportion some expected behaviours from them.

MrsAdadinmma:


Both of you surely did not read al through!

You dumbheads just come to the comment section and started making claims of Feminism.
Rea through again and point out your assertions. Don't be sily

It's obvious you are out to insult.
Or you think insulting will add value to your article?

Addressing such issues as highlighted in your article needs a neutral stance as being biased either way won't cut it.

Besides, the Caveat that this thread is for ladies only is not tenable as the task of child nurture and training is not the exclusive preserve of the woman, or is it?

Janeyinspires:
*Clearing a space to pitch my tent* Yea yea,I can totally relate to the stories cited.Only yesterday,I told my 6 y rold nephew to stop crying,be a man.Lol.Really he needed to stop it,cos he's started acting like a girl(crying is a girly stuff.Crying to be heard or get attention.Now who said that?Not me!).Crying at every little thing.Makes me wonder if he can stand and be the man he ought to be-tomorrow.
.
.
.
Hope we don't derail the purpose of this thread with arguements.Aside the reference to Biblical teachings-God created man first,made him the head.The reason why society has buried the gender expectations into us is because of our biological distributions.My view.The physical distribution in men makes society apportion some expected behaviours from them.

The physical distribution in men? To some extent you are correct but do not the male and female posses same parts of the body? Tell me one thing a man has that a woman does not have, either in excess or reversed

MrsAdadinmma:





Both of you surely did not read al through!

You dumbheads just come to the comment section and started making claims of Feminism.
Rea through again and point out your assertions. Don't be sily

I was really interested and getting educated by you until I saw the bolded part...
You ruined the beautiful stuff you started with a momentary lapse of reason. You should understand this is nairaland and your post will not always go down well with everyone. You should have used a more proper language

FearlessDapsin:
Lol Relationship counsellor my boots! Even though ladies are naturally more brilliant. Really? Where did you get your statistics from? As for making a man submissive, why don't you experiment that on your son? Raise him with the mentality that a woman is his lord and master and he must always bow to their wishes. Leave other wise and clear headed women to raise their sons the proper way.

God bless you bro

LordIsaac:
Your write up is gender biased. Can you trace the primary duties of a woman biologically? Plus, can you critique the rationale behind the payment of bride price and not groom price? Leave society put of this, even in the animal kingdom, the male is superior.

the thread is for ladies so yes, it would be gender biased since ladies are meant to be the audience. first of all when a thread says it is for ladies why are men always rushing in? Second groom price is paid in india. Thirdly if you say a woman's duty is to keep the home and raise children, does that mean she should be treated inferiorly by men? Fourth, your questions have nothing to do with this topic so please stop trying to attack the Op. Thanks

funmisticqueen:
the thread is for ladies so yes, it would be gender biased since ladies are meant to be the audience. first of all when a thread says it is for ladies why are men always rushing in? Second groom price is paid in india. Thirdly if you say a woman's duty is to keep the home and raise children, does that mean she should be treated inferiorly by men? Fourth, your questions have nothing to do with this topic so please stop trying to attack the Op. Thanks

You don't know what you are saying....both you and the Op.

DaniDani:
Another feminist on the loose. You coward Nigerian feminists have been warned to relocate to USA where you can freely practice and apply your feminism but you won't listen. As long as you are in Nigeria and Africa, you are all subjects to men. No matter what you think you are, no matter the influence of Western culture, you feminist wannabes will end up under our control and service us in za oza room...

Hahahahaaha......and they come for her. Op shud av just kept her thought to herself. I actually saw the post as hilarious, to state it politely . I am a Medical Doctor but i can recognise 3 fallacies in the write up: Fallacies of Hasty Generalisation, converse accident and Non-Sequitor.

Anti-feminist be like..

LordIsaac:

You don't know what you are saying....both you and the Op.

please dont say that we dont know what we are saying, it is an insult. Do you know what we are saying if so 'o superior one' please tell us.

Maxvasia:
Hahahahaaha......and they come for her. Op shud av just kept her thought to herself. I actually saw the post as hilarious, to state it politely . I am a Medical Doctor but i can recognise 3 fallacies in the right up: Fallacies of Hasty Generalisation, converse accident and Non-Sequitor.

please say it in simple english for some people.

I am not a lady, but nah aproko carry me come.....

MrsAdadinmma:
Both of you surely did not read al through!
You dumbheads just come to the comment section and started making claims of Feminism.
Rea through again and point out your assertions. Don't be sily

This was unnecessarily aggressive, are you goading them?
You said ladies are naturally more intelligent than guys. Intelligence is a complex concept. An autistic may behave like an slowpoke but may be capable of solving complex mathematical equations, even though he dribbles spittle down his chin. A person who reads widely may have more knowledge than an illiterate who is a chess guru (I'm sure you know strategy takes a lot of brain power). My point is intelligence is a combination of so many things, you can't just sit down and say one gender is naturally more intelligent than the other. On what basis? The part of the brain that interprets sounds is more advanced in ladies, so that they can hear the sounds of their babies crying while the male brain is more attuned to hunting. Does this mean either one is more intelligent than the other?
You're right that the difference in mentality can be traced to the society, but it actually stems from prehistoric man, when strength was everything. It was a time when strength was needed to survive, to hunt, defend yourself from attack, farm etc. Its only logical that the 'weaker vessels' would look up to the stronger ones to defend them in such a brutal world. What we experience today are vestiges from that period. But things have changed, now money is what's essential for survival, not physical strength. Unfortunately, even though both genders can make money, some remnants of the prehistoric tendency to depend on men, alongside the notion being subconsciously planted in their brains by society, some girls believe they are limited, that's why a little girl's dream Is to marry a man that'll take care of her while a boys dream is to be able to take care of his family. That's why a girl would insult a fellow girl's beauty or fertility, not her financial status

funmisticqueen:
please say it in simple english for some people.

Lolzz, my dear its philosophy oo, there is no simpler way to put it. I think its easier to understand than the original post itself