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Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? - Family - Nairaland

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Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by explura: 8:03am On May 04, 2017
Sundays are fast becoming bore days for me.. The saddening and hopeless look on the unmarried ladies and the blatant disregard of their married colleagues have earned me a trip to wonder island.. This sorry situation is worse in churches, where females are made to sit in the middle row, an 'honour' for their singlehood.. The perfect colony setting.. I've come to the conclusion that I must not get married to prove any point..

The society has a way of planning our lives, and most of us have the uncanny habit of dancing to her (the societies') whims..

Once a lady clocks 25, there's this panic that goes on around her; as though her worth as a human being depends on her getting married.. and she's missing out on being formally identified as a 'woman'.. Woe betide her if she turns 40.. Hey, its a sure sign she lived a wayward life! Blatant nonsense!

I don't have a problem with the society, since it has been this way since the days of Noah..
My anger is at you unmarried ladies.. Helping me understand why we let things be the way they are would go a long way to allay that anger that drives me crazy..

Please tell me why you have to act like your being married to a man makes you complete?
Why? Why do you make it seem like men are doing you a favour by asking you to marry them?
Why do you consent to the society treating you like lepers?

Answering these questions is a step to releasing ourselves from the maddening claws of what the society expects of us; and opening ourselves up to truly be in charge of our own world..

It has been observed that this post seems to give the impression that the poster is an 'anti-marriage' advocate..This is far from reality.
I respect the institution of marriage.. I believe in getting married for the right reasons.. I rather frown at the desperate and unflattery approach to it by an overwhelming fraction of the society..

6 Likes

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by sisisioge: 8:29am On May 04, 2017
Wowzerful!


Not true here sweetie. I'm on the left side of 30 and nobody treats me like a Nepa. My singlehood is my call. My anythinghood is my call. I own myself... I owe nobody any explanation... Except my mum though. She's worried and gets on my nerves...not in the leper form. She trys too hard to get me married by force by fire...yet it is my call. Telling me about her friend's son friend is in town, the cousin children's uncle in town etc wont change the fact that the call is mine. You get treated the way you want sweetie...your life is your call.

A lot of men will come your way...keep filtering till you get the one. If he's perhaps not ever coming, there's always a plan B wink Don't let anyone take your life from you

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by yvelchstores(f): 8:31am On May 04, 2017
Honestly, I can't relate to your complains. Sit where you want to sit in church. You may be on the defensive cos I Am yet to see a church that reserve a special place for single ladies . Secondly, marriage is a job really, a job that Ofcourse comes with its benefits as well as challenges. just as u celebrate when u get a job and happy the company found you worthy, I don't see anything wrong in a lady feeling same way, that her husband found her worthy. That is even a good attitude cos a lady that feels the man is fortunate to have her will end up wanting the man to serve her. This is not as God intended cos the Bible says the woman was created for the man .you need to start changing your mindset to align with marriage the way God intended so when that blessed man comes your way, it will be a success story, from beginning to end. Bless u.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by yvelchstores(f): 8:37am On May 04, 2017
sisisioge:
Wowzerful!


Not true here sweetie. I'm on the left side of 30 and nobody treats me like a Nepa. My singlehood is my call. My anythinghood is my call. I own myself... I owe nobody any explanation... Except my mum though. She's worried and gets on my nerves...not in the leper form. She trys too hard to get me married by force by fire...yet it is my call. Telling me about her friend's son friend is in town, the cousin children's uncle in town etc wont change the fact that the call is mine. You get treated the way you want sweetie...your life is your call.

A lot of men will come your way...keep filtering till you get the one. If he's perhaps not ever coming, there's always a plan B wink Don't let anyone take your life from you
this is great. Yes, so long as you fulfill you calling here on earth, marriage isn't a necessity. I know of some beautiful, intelligent, successful women of God in my church who decided they just want to serve God, no marriage on their plan yet they are so gorgeous and successful and changing lives.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by holocron: 8:38am On May 04, 2017
Why?...religious, or scientific?

Religious - after creating the world and humans, the only command God charged the first humans with was "Go out and multiply. Fill the earth, and dominate it" So if you are not fulfilling this supreme commandment, U must know deep down that u have failed your maker.

Looking from the scientific angle; evolution says that the fittest organisms thrive and the only way they can pass on the traits that made them so unique, is to reproduce and so transfer there succesful genes to their offspring for continuity. So if u are gifted, or unique and die without contributing to the genetic pool of humanity, then in terms of evolutionary time scales, your life was unproductive and practically a waste.

So, its better to be a single mother than to be unmarried and childless. The unmarried and childless (except u have invented something with long term impact on human culture) are really wasting their time on this mother earth. If u are not going to reproduce, then u better earn your life by inventing something or doing something that impacts history.

So it goes...

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by explura: 8:45am On May 04, 2017
sisisioge:
Wowzerful!


Not true here sweetie. I'm on the left side of 30 and nobody treats me like a Nepa. My singlehood is my call. My anythinghood is my call. I own myself... I owe nobody any explanation... Except my mum though. She's worried and gets on my nerves...not in the leper form. She trys too hard to get me married by force by fire...yet it is my call. Telling me about her friend's son friend is in town, the cousin children's uncle in town etc wont change the fact that the call is mine. You get treated the way you want sweetie...your life is your call.

A lot of men will come your way...keep filtering till you get the one. If he's perhaps not ever coming, there's always a plan B wink Don't let anyone take your life from you
kudos to you ma'am that you are an exception.. I wouldn't change my stance on the fact that an overwhelming number of ladies tie the validity of their existence to marriage.. These are the ones I've got issues with..

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by sisisioge: 8:48am On May 04, 2017
explura:
kudos to you ma'am that you are an exception.. I wouldn't change my stance on the fact that an overwhelming number of ladies tie the validity of their existence to marriage.. These are the ones I've got issues with..

Well...life is too short to be too serious.
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by explura: 8:58am On May 04, 2017
yvelchstores:
Honestly, I can't relate to your complains. Sit where you want to sit in church. You may be on the defensive cos I Am yet to see a church that reserve a special place for single ladies . Secondly, marriage is a job really, a job that Ofcourse comes with its benefits as well as challenges. just as u celebrate when u get a job and happy the company found you worthy, I don't see anything wrong in a lady feeling same way, that her husband found her worthy. That is even a good attitude cos a lady that feels the man is fortunate to have her will end up wanting the man to serve her. This is not as God intended cos the Bible says the woman was created for the man .you need to start changing your mindset to align with marriage the way God intended so when that blessed man comes your way, it will be a success story, from beginning to end. Bless u.
On the defensive? Yours is a funny deduction.. As an open-minded Christian, I've been to liberal and conservative churches, and a number of conservative still do this separation tactics.. This post does not suggest that the 'leper syndrome' is confined to the walls of the church..It's far beyond of the church.. Stretching deep into the heart of the society.. And you have every right to hold your views on marriage.. But this my dear, are my views..

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by explura: 9:09am On May 04, 2017
sisisioge:


Well...life is too short to be too serious.
lol..
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by yvelchstores(f): 9:30am On May 04, 2017
explura:
On the defensive? Yours is a funny deduction.. As an open-minded Christian, I've been to liberal and conservative churches, and a number of conservative still do this separation tactics.. This post does not suggest that the 'leper syndrome' is confined to the walls of the church..It's far beyond of the church.. Stretching deep into the heart of the society.. And you have every right to hold your views on marriage.. But this my dear, are my views..
good for u dear. They are your views but in the public eye so I decided to also share mine so readers will know from all angles thus giving them a choice
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Blissquare(f): 12:58pm On May 04, 2017
From my point as a woman married twice. We are all diff. It is easy to say u wld not let marriage define u. Sometimes, we settle for less not because we want to but we have to. No matter how u front it, it is always ackward to not be married at a certain age. U may not mind but ur mom's happiness may be at stake. U worked hard all ur life, had good grades and got a good job. Why wld u be lonely? Even bad people are getting married. When u are happy alone, people wld still believe u cry urself to sleep. If u opt for kids without marriage, it is also ackward. It is frustrating both ways so I picked d one that makes me comfortable. Good men are few and that is a reality! My current husband is with me for material gains but at least I hav it to share with him. People are envying me that I got a 2nd chance and he adores me as long as d money is there.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by crackhaus: 7:04pm On May 04, 2017
^^^
grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 7:10pm On May 04, 2017
We accept the treatment we THINK we deserve. Know your worth and people will do


That's how 1 idiot here was telling me I should listen to what society says. Wtf undecided

PS.: I'm a young lady and can't really relate but even I get irritated when I see such acts
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 7:19pm On May 04, 2017
lovelygurl:
We accept the treatment we THINK we deserve. Know your worth and people will do


That's how 1 idiot here was telling me I should listen to what society says. Wtf undecided

PS.: I'm a young lady and can't really relate but even I get irritated when I see such acts
see gobe
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by troy20(m): 7:23pm On May 04, 2017
Really insightful.wish we could keep it going
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by JerryTemi(f): 8:16pm On May 04, 2017
Marriage is very sweet,yes sometimes I feel lonely as am still single but is not the end of the road for me because I no one day my own will come. I have this believe if you treat me right,I will so the same in return,you don't expect me to die because I love you or wish to be with you,according to one guy,you don't no you are of age to marry be doing any how,this any how is when he is being bossy,telling you how to use the card he sent to you,telling you he won't tolerate any nonsense from you if you people have little issue uhmmm I had to talk to myself because I no how I love if I want to before I will wake up one day and see this their text message,I think am not feeling the connection or am done with you so as I dey so,no skin pain,nobody to worry over. According to 2pac life goes on.
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Aquariann: 8:17pm On May 04, 2017
crackhaus:
^^^
grin grin grin

I've missed your post on here sir. Welcome back
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by crackhaus: 8:41pm On May 04, 2017
Aquariann:


I've missed your post on here sir. Welcome back
Salute.
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 8:42pm On May 04, 2017
na waa o undecided
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 8:46pm On May 04, 2017
Blissquare:
From my point as a woman married twice. We are all diff. It is easy to say u wld not let marriage define u. Sometimes, we settle for less not because we want to but we have to. No matter how u front it, it is always ackward to not be married at a certain age. U may not mind but ur mom's happiness may be at stake. U worked hard all ur life, had good grades and got a good job. Why wld u be lonely? Even bad people are getting married. When u are happy alone, people wld still believe u cry urself to sleep. If u opt for kids without marriage, it is also ackward. It is frustrating both ways so I picked d one that makes me comfortable. Good men are few and that is a reality! My current husband is with me for material gains but at least I hav it to share with him. People are envying me that I got a 2nd chance and he adores me as long as d money is there.
and you're okay with it @bolded?

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Destined2win: 9:05pm On May 04, 2017
yvelchstores:
good for u dear. They are your views but in the public eye so I decided to also share mine so readers will know from all angles thus giving them a choice
Your choice is better trust me. And you have an exceptional mindset. Kudos.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Amicable24: 3:32pm On May 05, 2017
sisisioge:
Wowzerful!


Not true here sweetie. I'm on the left side of 30 and nobody treats me like a Nepa. My singlehood is my call. My anythinghood is my call. I own myself... I owe nobody any explanation... Except my mum though. She's worried and gets on my nerves...not in the leper form. She trys too hard to get me married by force by fire...yet it is my call. Telling me about her friend's son friend is in town, the cousin children's uncle in town etc wont change the fact that the call is mine. You get treated the way you want sweetie...your life is your call.

A lot of men will come your way...keep filtering till you get the one. If he's perhaps not ever coming, there's always a plan B wink Don't let anyone take your life from you
Haba, nne.. which one is left side of 30 kwa shocked shocked

I like your decision sha.. Ladies shouldn't let the marriage issue make them worrisome or settle for less.. Our society and culture isn't helping matters too.. Divorce cases are so high these days.. One need to be careful and sure it's God's will before saying yes to the 'will u marry me' question
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by sisisioge: 3:38pm On May 05, 2017
Amicable24:

Haba, nne.. which one is left side of 30 kwa shocked shocked

I like your decision sha.. Ladies shouldn't let the marriage issue make them worrisome or settle for less.. Our society and culture isn't helping matters too.. Divorce cases are so high these days.. One need to be careful and sure it's God's will before saying yes to the 'will u marry me' question

grin grin grin

Otondo. If you write 30, there are the left, middle and right sides to it. I'm on the left. Gotit? grin
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Amicable24: 3:41pm On May 05, 2017
sisisioge:


grin grin grin

Otondo. If you write 30, there are the left, middle and right sides to it. I'm on the left. Gotit? grin

I have learnt something new today oooo grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by sisisioge: 3:41pm On May 05, 2017
Amicable24:


I have learnt something new today oooo grin grin grin grin

grin grin grin
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by bukatyne(f): 10:46pm On May 05, 2017
yvelchstores:
Honestly, I can't relate to your complains. Sit where you want to sit in church. You may be on the defensive cos I Am yet to see a church that reserve a special place for single ladies . Secondly, marriage is a job really, a job that Ofcourse comes with its benefits as well as challenges. just as u celebrate when u get a job and happy the company found you worthy, I don't see anything wrong in a lady feeling same way, that her husband found her worthy. That is even a good attitude cos a lady that feels the man is fortunate to have her will end up wanting the man to serve her. This is not as God intended cos the Bible says the woman was created for the man .you need to start changing your mindset to align with marriage the way God intended so when that blessed man comes your way, it will be a success story, from beginning to end. Bless u.

The Bible says the husband is a type of Christ; Christ came to serve man, that's where servant leadership concept came from.

@OP:

If you don't like the way a church treat its single sisters, speak up to them or leave ditto others pressuring you.

You here is not personal.

As long as humans exist, marriage aja forming of new families will always be celebrated and held in high esteem.
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by bluskyee: 4:50am On May 06, 2017
Can we just stand up and say NO to Marriage kiss? Marriage this, Marriage that...Let's just live our lives like everyday gonna be last...
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Dyt(f): 7:33am On May 06, 2017
Yok
Yok
Yok

I am over 30
A single mum
And I don't remember feeling that way

****did I even read the write up*****
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Dyt(f): 7:34am On May 06, 2017
Blissquare:
From my point as a woman married twice. We are all diff. It is easy to say u wld not let marriage define u. Sometimes, we settle for less not because we want to but we have to. No matter how u front it, it is always ackward to not be married at a certain age. U may not mind but ur mom's happiness may be at stake. U worked hard all ur life, had good grades and got a good job. Why wld u be lonely? Even bad people are getting married. When u are happy alone, people wld still believe u cry urself to sleep. If u opt for kids without marriage, it is also ackward. It is frustrating both ways so I picked d one that makes me comfortable. Good men are few and that is a reality! My current husband is with me for material gains but at least I hav it to share with him. People are envying me that I got a 2nd chance and he adores me as long as d money is there.

Brave woman
Who am I or anyone to judge you
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 8:25am On May 06, 2017
Dyt:
Yok Yok Yok
I am over 30 A single mum And I don't remember feeling that way
****did I even read the write up*****
and you like to be like that?
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Dyt(f): 8:34am On May 06, 2017
Martin124:
and you like to be like that?


Your signature
kiss
Re: Why Do Unmarried Ladies Let Themselves To Be Treated Like Lepers? by Nobody: 8:47am On May 06, 2017
Dyt:



Your signature
kiss
Dyt it up for some folks not you,hmmm well now I see reasons @backwarsd

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