Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) - Family (123) - Nairaland
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| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 3:01am On May 03, 2017 |
GloryIsaac: Lol, look at the new one, It's the same as the old, I'm safe   Same way you are eager to know the meaning,  , I guess we will keep doing this to each other, by the way, I'm sure you've guessed the meaning, lol, Goodnight dear, we will continue in the morning 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Opistorincos(m): 2:29pm On May 03, 2017 |
i love this 3 Likes
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| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 3:53pm On May 03, 2017 |
Giel: Let me guess, this second post was modified too.. lmao... I finally found the meaning  , so I've got the advantage here ... 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Melsan: 5:35pm On May 03, 2017 |
Giel:Thanks. Not too late at all.  1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Knetpro(m): 8:54pm On May 03, 2017 |
Wonderful introverts lounge! Never a dull moment here!!! 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 9:14pm On May 03, 2017 |
2 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Giel: 9:21pm On May 03, 2017 |
GloryIsaac: It wasn't, or if it was I can't remember, Fixed that for you , you're welcome,So, what does the name look like?, lol,, I'm glad you guessed, 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 9:53pm On May 03, 2017 |
Giel: It's kinda male-like, but just found out that it means one who is successful in a whole lot of stuff....what spurred you to use it? 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by wilcoxz(m): 2:02am On May 05, 2017 |
Anytym i get depressed abt d downsides of being introverted,i just come here,read about pplz xperiences and console my self wit d fact dat mehn bro"U AINT THE ONLY ONE"......relieves me most tyms keep up the good work 5 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 11:10am On May 05, 2017 |
Why This Introvert Hates Small Talk But Loves Talking About Things That Matter I’m sure you’ve heard many times that introverts hate small talk. This is frequently misunderstood as introverts hate talking, period. However, this is not so. Introverts like the right kind of talk. So what is the right kind of talk, and why do introverts avoid small talk at all costs? Small talk can be defined as polite conversation about things that are not important or that don’t really matter. It is when you ask about the weather, or any of the other things you say when passing a stranger or having to stand next to them for a few minutes. It seems rude to remain silent and pretend like they don’t exist, so you fill the silence by saying something. Anything. Small Talk Fails to Engage My Brain For me, whenever I’m in an elevator or some other form of obligatory closeness with a stranger, I much prefer the silence. It doesn’t offend me in the slightest if the other person ignores me. In fact, I prefer it this way. However, most of the time, the stranger will feel the need to say something bland and completely uninteresting in an attempt to be friendly for the next thirty seconds until we reach our respective floors. Once, while discussing a similar topic with my husband, I told him, “I don’t hate it when people talk to me. I hate it when people talk at me.” And talking at me is pretty much what small talk is. It is something that requires little to no reciprocation. There is nothing I can respond with other than “okay” or “yeah.” Do you know how much brainpower is takes to say a single word that you already say multiple times a day? Zero. Absolutely none. And therein lies the problem. My brain is not engaged in the slightest. And since we’ve established by now that, for many introverts, the brain is what it’s all about, that is an essential element to any good interaction. Imagine if I were riding in an elevator with another young woman. I would be, as usual, flipping through my phone and pretending that I am very busy. Suddenly, she shivers a little and says to me, “My sister died in an elevator, so they really freak me out. Sorry if I seem shaky or weird.” I could mutter off some reassurance to her, but my brain would start buzzing with questions. Wow, her sister died in an elevator? I wonder what happened. How long ago was that? Did the elevator cause it, or did she just happen to be in an elevator but would have died regardless? And so on. There would be a lingering invitation for me in the air. I could ask, and genuinely want to know the answer to, the obvious question: How did your sister die in an elevator? I could choose whether or not to accept that invitation, and there are different ways the woman could respond. Maybe she would tell me all about it, grateful that I cared enough to ask. Or maybe she would be offended at my intrusion and would decline to answer. Either way, it would still give my brain something to do. Just for the record, this has never happened to me, and I doubt it ever will. People usually don’t blurt things like that out. Instead, my elevator rides with a stranger go a little more like this: The other person sighs and says, “What a pretty day to be stuck inside the office.” And I say, “Yeah.” And… that’s it. There is nothing more I can say. There is nothing else I can even think of; my brain becomes a dead zone. I’m sure I could explain that it’s a Wednesday and it is completely normal for me to be “stuck inside the office” on this day, no matter how pretty it is outside, but I already feel pretty confident that this person knows what a normal work week is like. I’m sure I could chime in with my own version of how nice it is outside, but that seems redundant. I could speak up with my own personal, somewhat painful confession, like the young woman in my imaginary elevator story. But instead of interest in understanding, this would probably bring confusion and judgment. An elevator isn’t a therapist’s office, after all. Conversationally, Introverts Are Meat-Eaters If I ever have to explain my hatred of small talk in person, I usually say that introverts are meat-eaters, as carnivorous as they come. The bread on a sandwich is put there out of necessity and because that’s what you do. It’s weird to have a sandwich without bread, so introverts chew their way through the bland, doughy nothingness that is small talk until they get to what really matters. Once they hit the salty, satisfying meat of the issue, the conversation suddenly becomes loads more interesting. As always, introverts crave mental stimulation. It’s not hard to give it to them, either. All it takes is honesty. They want to know what you’re afraid of, what you love, what you hate, and why you feel those things. They want to know your secrets, too, but not so they can gossip and use them against you — rather, so they can get to know you as a person on a deeper level. In other words, introverts want to talk about things that matter. Anything less than that may make their brain enter sleep mode. #Copied from Introvertdear.com 7 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by JhyMedex: 11:00pm On May 05, 2017 |
eipreel: ...oh Dear Sister... COYG1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by JhyMedex: 12:33am On May 06, 2017 |
eipreel:shift jor... Pass d popcorn n recommend a song by Yanni 4 me.. 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by 1metre: 3:34pm On May 08, 2017 |
As an introverted person, how do u tackle public speaking or shyness 2 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 7:07pm On May 08, 2017 |
1metre: Look above the heads, avoid strong eye contact (just a glance is okay), imagine you are talking to one person and don't forget to assert your authority, nobody's gonna beat you, just be yourself... 8 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Wane2: 7:13pm On May 08, 2017 |
GloryIsaac:I like this I'll try to practice it. 2 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 7:49pm On May 08, 2017 |
Wane2: You're welcome... Thanks to Dale Carnegie and Robert Greene 3 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Akposb(m): 8:06pm On May 11, 2017 |
GloryIsaac:Beautiful post on introverts dislike for small talks. I have had heated arguments of recent especially as a result of issues that started with small talks. On a flip side, I am a Chelsea fan. 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 11:10am On May 13, 2017 |
Olarewajub: Hahahaha. Mine happened at Church some years ago. Right from Childhood, I had always been a kickass debater, even though I had a stutter. I've always had a stutter. It didn't really deter me from doing my thing, though. Teachers would always pick me to read those McMillan books in English class cause I was an audible, eloquent and fantastic reader. The tradition of always been picked continued till SS1. To tell you how good I was, I even represented my school in inter-school debates. When I became a teen, I became self conscious about my stutter. I wouldn't talk to anyone I didn't know before. I stopped reading out loud and I stopped public speaking entirely. It was during that time I was picked to give a talk, based on past glory. I was 13/14. I kept thinking about 'falling my hand' because of my stutter. Big mistake! Thinking about not stuttering, as positive as it may seem, does the complete opposite in a real life situation. I kept thinking and thinking about how I would stutter and humiliate myself. I wanted to tell the guy who gave me the stuff to do that I couldn't do it. That was one of the lowest point in my life. On the D-day, I was called out, stood on the podium, said the first three sentences as perfect as I could, and that was it. I couldn't speak again. I kept repeating the first syllable of the next word. I had already been defeated by my fear before I even held the mic. I guess that makes me a man of clairvoyance, don't you think? Stuttering + Social Anxiety = A recipe for epic failure. After a minute had passed, and I couldn't go further. The wonderful audience began clapping. It was embarrassing and humiliating. It even hurt the more when I remembered my 'give no fück' persona before, and how I would set fire to the mic and ignite the crowd in seconds. I still think back to that moment, and it has become my fuel to become a better public speaker. My stuttering has severely reduced but from time to time, I still get some bad days, but it doesn't hold me back. 7 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 1:41pm On May 13, 2017 |
Akposb: Thanks Mehn, i avoid small talks always.. it's either we're talking about something deep or the room will be akwardly silent.... Btw, Congrats on your title win, i'm gonna get it back next season b'cos it's my birthright 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by missuniverse(f): 8:42am On May 14, 2017 |
why did I see this late?? |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 4:19pm On May 14, 2017 |
Introverts lounge |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:38pm On May 15, 2017 |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Melsan: 10:32pm On May 15, 2017 |
Hmmm |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Gloryne(f): 11:08pm On May 15, 2017 |
Damn!!!! A whole lot of people like me. I've been following this thread for quite some time now but finally got the nerve to respond. Being an introvert rocks as there's nothing compared to the happiness you derive when you love yourself. I love my space, my bed, love been indoors doing stuffs that interest me. One of the challenges I faced growing up was being timid, shy and inability to face the crowd but I'm overcoming it joining a dept in church where facing members is inevitable. I'll end it here, others have said similar stuffs. God bless ya'll. 5 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by DonOms(m): 9:10am On May 16, 2017 |
Gloryne: It's great you thought to join the lounge. It's understandable when an introvert refrains from joining an Introverts' Lounge. As a 'gbeborun' extrovert once mockingly asked on this thread, "doesn't this lounge contradict the idea of introversion?" The idea of the lounge (all the thanks to @olarewajub) is to learn more about who we are and share experiences from similar people. How best can we do that other than have a quiet room where all that is said, or not said, is about introversion? It's lovely you're working on your people and social skills by joining a group in your church. Participating in small groups doing activities of interests is perhaps one of the best ways to improve social skills as an introvert. And improving people skills is important in this age - introvert or not. So, a big welcome to you, @grocery, @missuniverse and everyone just joining; and more importantly to those who follow quietly around the edge but haven't walked in. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by iamnlia(m): 11:47am On May 17, 2017 |
Hey guys, I am so disappointed in my self this morning, I fought someone who has been behaving like a total dick for some three years now. Since last month I knew I would eventually engage in hand combat, I don't know why people behave wicked and bossy when they see you're quiet. I just wish I didn't fight because I feel totally senseless now, and all my respect is gone. 2 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 1:01pm On May 17, 2017 |
Hey people! New here! Few descriptions of myself don't know if anyone can relate 1. I'm scared of the outside, I get somewhat anxious when stepping out of wherever I'm calling home for that moment, this affected my studies in school as I wouldn't attend classes most times. My home is the safest place for me in the world 2. I'm the definition of secretive. I didn't know this about myself until someone pointed it out to me one day, I got home, examined my life and I couldn't agree more. I would rather die than spill a secret that might hurt me or someone else. I'm the guy that knows everything about you but you know nothing about. I once worked for someone and for two months he didn't know my name lolz I'm wicked! I put him in a position were he couldn't ask and he stayed there for 2 months! We would see every morning and hang out for hours in the evenings almost every day until someday he had to bottle his shame and ask 'what's your name' I'm that secretive! 3. God I'm shy I mean shy! A sixteen years old girl could still cause me some discomfort( I'm 24). I have problems staring into people's eyes I have to force myself to do so most times. As for the shyness I have to maintain a stern military look to wade people off from me. On a first look people term me rude until they get to know me more and find out I'm not what I look and I hardly give them the pleasure. 4. Solitude! Nothing I treasure more than be alone... I don't fancy talking especially to people that aren't so close to me, sometimes I find myself in situations especially with ladies, giving me the 'talk to me vibe' I really want to talk to them but my mouth won't open because I'm already having the conversation with you in my head. So I'd just walk away and they would term me rude. 6. I'm funny, crazy, superb listener, great conversationalist (I hold conversations with myself everyday so I definitely must be good at it) but you'd never find out about these things because I wouldn't allow you come close to me. This epistle is getting too long Let me pause and observe the background 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Krasid(m): 9:46am On May 18, 2017 |
^^ Welcome to my world and the world of a typical introvert. It's bewildering as you know they are others like you out there, but you can hardly find them. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 11:32am On May 18, 2017 |
As a perfect model of an introvert, i hereby register my presence 3 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Olarewajub: 12:42pm On May 18, 2017 |
AnthonioAlsaid What you wrote up there is a typical description of our lives. It will also pass as an excellent article. Are you writer? 1 Like |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Olarewajub: 12:52pm On May 18, 2017 |
iamnlia: I can completely relate with your dilemma. Its no crime to get angry but we must always be mindful of our actions because they are irreversible. Most of the times people get extremely on our nerves maybe they think we are morons and treat us badly. They take our quietness for stupidity. The event has already occurred. I will advise you try to make peace and next time walk away from any one who tries to provoke you. 2 Likes |
| Re: Introverts Lounge (Extroverts Pls Keep Off !!) by Nobody: 12:54pm On May 18, 2017 |
Olarewajub: Thank you my friend But I'm no way close to being a writer. |
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