Maybe there is something single ladies are missing .
perhaps they are doing the right things for the wrong guys
How long should one date before a guy man up and takes the necessary steps.
Just yesterday i was having a chat with an older woman who told me to "always ask the guy weather he wants to marry me before deciding to date him". She also bragged about how she made sure her daughter got married before 25. Now she is happily married with three kids at 32.
she might be right but i feel its a little bit embarrassing and desperate to ask a guy such question, a guy one is still getting to know.
i know there are a lot of married men here, who are happily married and they love their wives endlessly.
please you might be saving a single lady out there with your insightful comments
and also wives, what were the qualities you display that made him pop the question.
im not referring to couples getting married because she got pregnant o...

i have seen older spinster in their late 30s with authentic dating experience that cannot be quantified still uncle never come marry them but they have professionals certificate in dating and marriage advice... wetin dey happen?

The only reason I married was so that people won't think I am gay.

NwaAmaikpe:
The only reason I married was so that people won't think I am gay.

hahahahahhahahaa, this is salvagery..... so no other reason na wa ooooo

She was the only one that said yes

Out of

BlackDBagba:
She was the only one that said yes

Out of

Hmmmm... but one cannot say yes to someone you dont love now.... but ladies take note learn to say yes o

greatwomenworld:
Maybe there is something single ladies are missing .
perhaps they are doing the right things for the wrong guys
How long should one date before a guy man up and takes the necessary steps.
Just yesterday i was having a chat with an older woman who told me to "always ask the guy weather he wants to marry me before deciding to date him". She also bragged about how she made sure her daughter got married before 25. Now she is happily married with three kids at 32.
she might be right but i feel its a little bit embarrassing and desperate to ask a guy such question, a guy one is still getting to know.
i know there are a lot of married men here, who are happily married and they love their wives endlessly.
please you might be saving a single lady out there with your insightful comments
and also wives, what were the qualities you display that made him pop the question.
im not referring to couples getting married because she got pregnant o...

i have seen older spinster in their late 30s with authentic dating experience that cannot be quantified still uncle never come marry them but they have professionals certificate in dating and marriage advice... wetin dey happen?

don't ever ask a guy if he is going to marry you at the beginning of a relationship, every guy answer will always be yes I would also it shows desperation in a lady and a sharp guy could use that to is advantage

OLAJADON:

don't ever ask a guy if he is going to marry you at the beginning of a relationship, every guy answer will always be yes I would also it shows desperation in a lady and a sharp guy could use that to is advantage

True,thank you. when can one ask ?

greatwomenworld:

True,thank you. when can one ask ?

you welcome,I think that question actually is irrelevant, it like you saying when should you ask a goat to eat the cassava you gave it, the answer is instinct.
when the man think you are marriage worthy he will pope the question, although we have some guy that don't value family or a woman's time, they prefer enjoying the woman till Jesus comes without putting a ring on her hand, so I guess that is on you to differentiate the good eggs from the bad ones, but believe me , when you find a responsible guy you don't need to ask him for marriage, if he sees you as worth he will be the one begging for your hand.
everybody wants an asset not liability

greatwomenworld:
Maybe there is something single ladies are missing .
perhaps they are doing the right things for the wrong guys
How long should one date before a guy man up and takes the necessary steps.
Just yesterday i was having a chat with an older woman who told me to "always ask the guy weather he wants to marry me before deciding to date him". She also bragged about how she made sure her daughter got married before 25. Now she is happily married with three kids at 32.
she might be right but i feel its a little bit embarrassing and desperate to ask a guy such question, a guy one is still getting to know.
i know there are a lot of married men here, who are happily married and they love their wives endlessly.
please you might be saving a single lady out there with your insightful comments
and also wives, what were the qualities you display that made him pop the question.
im not referring to couples getting married because she got pregnant o...

i have seen older spinster in their late 30s with authentic dating experience that cannot be quantified still uncle never come marry them but they have professionals certificate in dating and marriage advice... wetin dey happen?

I know this is for men however...

I gather the thread is to address how to get past time wasting relationships when you are ready for marriage.

First, I would say a lot of peeps are not trained to marry early and some ladies are just fortunate to see 'suitors' who are ready to settle down and they leave their 'small' boyfriends.

What do I mean by training? A lady looking to marry at 25 for instance will know that from 20yrs, she should stop entering time wasting relationships. Ditto a guy. I know the ladies are trained on how to behave cook, take care of homes etc. from a young age however, they are not psychologically prepared and want to 'chop' life first.

Also, a lot of people don't know who they are and obviously can't recognise the right person for them when they came around... hence the 'he/she don use wife/husband do girlfriend/boyfriend'.

Dating:
My principle is this... don't date who you can't marry or don't sleep with who you can't marry. No protection is 100% safe and not everyone will abstain even if religious.

Who am I? What are my aspirations? What kind of marriage do I project for myself? What type of husband do I see in my future? This soul-searching questions should be asked in her teens... This is automatically help her choose the best kind of man for her. E.g. if you aspire to be a secular actress, a guy gunning for pastorhood is most likely a wrong man; if you believe in having a career, the guy telling you he admired his stay at home mum is not your match. Like they say, imitation is the best form of flattery. If you want to run for a political office and your man cannot help us campaign or change his schedule temporarily for you, know that he wouldn't support such ambitions in future... peeps rarely change.

When you are ready to date and a guy comes along, be friends with him first (friends as in friends, no sex!) and study him to understand what he likes, what tickles his fancy, who he really is. There is a no sex until 3mths/6mths/9mths/total abstinence rule for relationships depending on who you read. It is extremely important, the Bible says total abstinence... this will help you develop a bond of genuine friendship and really know the man as a person and not a sex machine.

When you have said yes after your period of friendship, watch how he conducts the relationship and the importance he attached to it. Does he show you to his friends/family with pride? Is he happy to be associated with you or is it a corner relations where nobody knows you two as an item? Are people unconsciously involving him in your affairs? Does your family (elder siblings/cousins/yuppy relatives) know about you both? Or is your relationship location restricted?

Is the only essence of your relationship sex if you are not abstaining? Does he add value (not money) to your life? Is he willing to sacrifice for you if need be? Is he someone you can discuss with? Can you tell him your pain points? Can you be yourself? Please note that the above is achieved over time.

Now as you are growing and maturing (done with school, service etc.), are you both projecting a future? Most ladies should be able to discern a man who intends to marry them if that is what they desire. Is your man making subtle moves towards marriage? Ladies always say a man interested in marriage is eager to move things to marry quickly... They want to know what you cook sharp sharp (According to Mercy, her husband asked her to cook the first time she came to his house), they want to see your family, they want to be in your business etc.

Men chase women, if you are doing the chase, check.


@ladies above 30:
You say some are experts in relationship yet single.... Like a guy opined here, we need to distinguish between the truly single lady who has no man and the 'single' lady who has different men for different purposes yet one is not good enough to fill the position of a husband.

At truly single, did no 'reasonable' man come along or she was looking for the proverbial 6th floor husband?

At case two, no comment.

Kai, OP you must pay me for this epistle

Modified:

There is a serious need for elderly oversight in your relationship. The more people you are accountable to, the more effort you put into your relationship.

No Koro relationship o!

@bukatyne,don't tell me that you type all dis from your head

Firstly, invest in yourself
Secondly, invest in yourself
Thirdly, invest in yourself
Be an asset, not liability
Then, make sure you are very neat
You will get tired of men popping the question.

jieta:
@bukatyne,don't tell me that you type all dis from your head

I did o!

Na real epistle.

NwaAmaikpe:
The only reason I married was so that people won't think I am gay.

chio!!! This guy ehn!!!!

bukatyne:


I know this is for men however...

I gather the thread is to address how to get past time wasting relationships when you are ready for marriage.

First, I would say a lot of peeps are not trained to marry early and some ladies are just fortunate to see 'suitors' who are ready to settle down and they leave their 'small' boyfriends.

What do I mean by training? A lady looking to marry at 25 for instance will know that from 20yrs, she should stop entering time wasting relationships. Ditto a guy. I know the ladies are trained on how to behave cook, take care of homes etc. from a young age however, they are not psychologically prepared and want to 'chop' life first.

Also, a lot of people don't know who they are and obviously can't recognise the right person for them when they came around... hence the 'he/she don use wife/husband do girlfriend/boyfriend'.

Dating:
My principle is this... don't date who you can't marry or don't sleep with who you can't marry. No protection is 100% safe and not everyone will abstain even if religious.

Who am I? What are my aspirations? What kind of marriage do I project for myself? What type of husband do I see in my future? This soul-searching questions should be asked in her teens... This is automatically help her choose the best kind of man for her. E.g. if you aspire to be a secular actress, a guy gunning for pastorhood is most likely a wrong man; if you believe in having a career, the guy telling you he admired his stay at home mum is not your match. Like they say, imitation is the best form of flattery. If you want to run for a political office and your man cannot help us campaign or change his schedule temporarily for you, know that he wouldn't support such ambitions in future... peeps rarely change.

When you are ready to date and a guy comes along, be friends with him first (friends as in friends, no sex!) and study him to understand what he likes, what tickles his fancy, who he really is. There is a no sex until 3mths/6mths/9mths/total abstinence rule for relationships depending on who you read. It is extremely important, the Bible says total abstinence... this will help you develop a bond of genuine friendship and really know the man as a person and not a sex machine.

When you have said yes after your period of friendship, watch how he conducts the relationship and the importance he attached to it. Does he show you to his friends/family with pride? Is he happy to be associated with you or is it a corner relations where nobody knows you two as an item? Are people unconsciously involving him in your affairs? Does your family (elder siblings/cousins/yuppy relatives) know about you both? Or is your relationship location restricted?

Is the only essence of your relationship sex if you are not abstaining? Does he add value (not money) to your life? Is he willing to sacrifice for you if need be? Is he someone you can discuss with? Can you tell him your pain points? Can you be yourself? Please note that the above is achieved over time.

Now as you are growing and maturing (done with school, service etc.), are you both projecting a future? Most ladies should be able to discern a man who intends to marry them if that is what they desire. Is your man making subtle moves towards marriage? Ladies always say a man interested in marriage is eager to move things to marry quickly... They want to know what you cook sharp sharp (According to Mercy, her husband asked her to cook the first time she came to his house), they want to see your family, they want to be in your business etc.

Men chase women, if you are doing the chase, check.


@ladies above 30:
You say some are experts in relationship yet single.... Like a guy opined here, we need to distinguish between the truly single lady who has no man and the 'single' lady who has different men for different purposes yet one is not good enough to fill the position of a husband.

At truly single, did no 'reasonable' man come along or she was looking for the proverbial 6th floor husband?

At case two, no comment.

Kai, OP you must pay me for this epistle

Modified:

There is a serious need for elderly oversight in your relationship. The more people you are accountable to, the more effort you put into your relationship.

No Koro relationship o!

Awwww, God bless you for this. I wish I can pay you but this is priceless! you are so full of wisdom. God bless your home . I am sure a wise lady would find this piece very insightful.

ffrreeee:
Firstly, invest in yourself Secondly, invest in yourself Thirdly, invest in yourself Be an asset, not liability Then, make sure you are very neat You will get tired of men popping the question.

just that? really?

Bukatyne

NwaAmaikpe:
The only reason I married was so that people won't think I am gay.

Oga your wife is so unlucky to have you.

bukatyne:


I know this is for men however...

I gather the thread is to address how to get past time wasting relationships when you are ready for marriage.

First, I would say a lot of peeps are not trained to marry early and some ladies are just fortunate to see 'suitors' who are ready to settle down and they leave their 'small' boyfriends.

What do I mean by training? A lady looking to marry at 25 for instance will know that from 20yrs, she should stop entering time wasting relationships. Ditto a guy. I know the ladies are trained on how to behave cook, take care of homes etc. from a young age however, they are not psychologically prepared and want to 'chop' life first.

Also, a lot of people don't know who they are and obviously can't recognise the right person for them when they came around... hence the 'he/she don use wife/husband do girlfriend/boyfriend'.

Dating:
My principle is this... don't date who you can't marry or don't sleep with who you can't marry. No protection is 100% safe and not everyone will abstain even if religious.

Who am I? What are my aspirations? What kind of marriage do I project for myself? What type of husband do I see in my future? This soul-searching questions should be asked in her teens... This is automatically help her choose the best kind of man for her. E.g. if you aspire to be a secular actress, a guy gunning for pastorhood is most likely a wrong man; if you believe in having a career, the guy telling you he admired his stay at home mum is not your match. Like they say, imitation is the best form of flattery. If you want to run for a political office and your man cannot help us campaign or change his schedule temporarily for you, know that he wouldn't support such ambitions in future... peeps rarely change.

When you are ready to date and a guy comes along, be friends with him first (friends as in friends, no sex!) and study him to understand what he likes, what tickles his fancy, who he really is. There is a no sex until 3mths/6mths/9mths/total abstinence rule for relationships depending on who you read. It is extremely important, the Bible says total abstinence... this will help you develop a bond of genuine friendship and really know the man as a person and not a sex machine.

When you have said yes after your period of friendship, watch how he conducts the relationship and the importance he attached to it. Does he show you to his friends/family with pride? Is he happy to be associated with you or is it a corner relations where nobody knows you two as an item? Are people unconsciously involving her to cook the first time she came to his house), they want to see your family, they want

Men chase women, if you are doing the chase, check.


@ladies above 30:
You say some are experts in relationship yet single.... Like a guy opined here, we need to distinguish between the truly single lady who has no man and the 'single' lady who has different men for different purposes yet one is not good enough to fill the position of a husband.

At truly single, did no 'reasonable' man come along or she was looking for the proverbial 6th floor husband?

At case two, no comment.

Kai, OP you must pay me for this epistle

Modified:

There is a serious need for elderly oversight in your relationship. The more people you are accountable to, the more effort you put into your relationship.

No Koro relationship o!

You've said it all madam.

May God bless you with more wisdom

I rated her above 90% of what I wanted in a woman. My cutoff was actually 65%. She still maintains the standard.

because of the society. but why does the society hate youth/bachelor? you can't rent a house.. landlord will ask are you married if you said no they will reject you. the police, government, Christian brothers and churches, it get very annoying when people begin to ask you where is your wife, why are you not married, why you don't want to married, all your mates are married, what are you waiting for, why we aren't we seeing you with a lady.

people generally just do the hating. we still have a long way to go in this country.

To have grandkids for my mom

bukatyne:


I did o!

Na real epistle.

it is quite easy to pen down what via experience one knows and believes in . you nailed it to the t.

call me old school but i believe when a couple say they are going out, a destination needs to be set. down the street or down the isle? as an adult you cannot blame another if your time gets wasted as the handwriting is always on the wall. ask!

bukatyne:


I did o!

Na real epistle.

This is the words of a seasoned and a woman with vast experience, keep it up sis. @Op she has said it all.

fineboynl:
because of the society. but why does the society hate youth/bachelor? you can't rent a house.. landlord will ask are you married if you said no they will reject you. the police, government, Christian brothers and churches, it get very annoying when people begin to ask you where is your wife, why are you not married, why you don't want to married, all your mates are married, what are you waiting for, why we aren't we seeing you with a lady.

people generally just do the hating. we still have a long way to go in this country.

fineboynl:
because of the society. but why does the society hate youth/bachelor? you can't rent a house.. landlord will ask are you married if you said no they will reject you. the police, government, Christian brothers and churches, it get very annoying when people begin to ask you where is your wife, why are you not married, why you don't want to married, all your mates are married, what are you waiting for, why we aren't we seeing you with a lady.

people generally just do the hating. we still have a long way to go in this country.

fineboynl:
because of the society. but why does the society hate youth/bachelor? you can't rent a house.. landlord will ask are you married if you said no they will reject you. the police, government, Christian brothers and churches, it get very annoying when people begin to ask you where is your wife, why are you not married, why you don't want to married, all your mates are married, what are you waiting for, why we aren't we seeing you with a lady.

people generally just do the hating. we still have a long way to go in this country.

wow! men face society pressure too? I use to think it is only ladies that faces such pressure until now.

teemy:
call me old school but i believe when a couple say they are going out, a destination needs to be set. down the street or down the isle? as an adult you cannot blame another if your time gets wasted as the handwriting is always on the wall. ask!

Did you say ask? doesn't it look desperate to be asking a man if he wants to marry you?

greatwomenworld:

Did you say ask? doesn't it look desperate to be asking a man if he wants to marry you?

desperate?not in the least. when the man ask for the lady to be his, the lady has a right to ask 'as what?'

everyone has a reason for doing or agreeing to do what they do. if purpose is not known, abuse sets in. for an adult female, it would be silly to allow any man use her head for ping pong all in the name of being shy or humility over simple Q&A.

greatwomenworld:

wow! men face society pressure too? I use to think it is only ladies that faces such pressure until now.

no it's not only lady's. but just that as a man you can justify why you are not married yet. maybe financial problem or something and people can understand. but as a lady no excuse to give. the society we are now is full of crime and as a man who is not married is a suspect and not responsible as the society will put it. that why most guys will just pick any girl that is ready to stay with them so as to cover face like they are legally married. and before you knows it they start having kids.

the signs are always there. a girlfriend of mine told me of two relationships of hers. the first was with someone who did not let him meet with his mother throughout. the second which she is in right now is with someone who within months did and now

have done their introductions. even if a 'formal' proposal is done on a future date, that question of 'will you marry me?' should 've been asked by one of the two lovers early on. am sure a good number would mouth gape if asked today. the truth shows