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Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? - Family - Nairaland

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Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 10:18pm On Jun 27, 2017
Hello my fellow Nairalanders.
First I will like to salute you all for your insightful comments so far, una too much!

they say marriage is not a bed of rose, it has it ups and down ,then again I ask myself what if one meets someone who isn't anywhere what you want your dream guy or lady to look like. hmmm , won't there be a problem?

what do I mean?
the saying that in life you don't always get what you wish for is very true.
We all have this particular physical attributes, we want our spouses to have. just like some ladies love their men tall, dark and handsome. some doesn't mind his look.
same way some men love them slim or round, others are obsessed with the big ones.
Different strokes for different folks yea.

My question is, Does physical attributes have anything to do with love? is it enough to say NO, I cannot marry you?

imagine a guy who likes slim ladies getting married to a fat one won't he get frustrated along the line?
or a lady that's obsessed with tall guys, ending up with a short one.
No offence please ,but this is reality.
what is your honest opinion about this?
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by makydebbie(f): 10:28pm On Jun 27, 2017
I think it matters. To avoid things like, "she's not my soec". To justify cheating later on. We all know love can get us unreasonable at times. But guys I beg you, if you love busty ladies, go for them big boobs ladies. Don't go for a peanut sized boobs, and when you're caught cheating on her, you'll give excuse that you've always liked them big. As for me, it matters. So as to avoid stories that touch. I'm a tall lady, because of love I'll not end up with a short man.

4 Likes

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by olagbemi118(m): 10:29pm On Jun 27, 2017
The poster below me has the right answers u need...he has never disappointed & he won't start now...trust him & do as he says....mind u I didn't read the post...

1 Like

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Afam4eva(m): 10:35pm On Jun 27, 2017
Great question.

The problem with the term LOVE as defined by a lot of people is a farce and is only a representation of what their ideal man or woman should be. When actually love is supposed to connect people beyond any conceivable variable. Like a very beautiful and well endowed lady getting married to a short, black and big headed man who isn't rich. That is true love right there and not juju like a lot of people will want to believe.

Now, going for your spec is a different ball game. But please don't call it love except it's truely love.

It pertinent to note that people also attract what they are. It's funny how some ladies who aren't so good looking in the first place will be looking for a tall, handsome, rich and God fearing man. Examine yourself both inwards and outwards and be realistic with your expectations. I've seen people as beautiful as Agbani Darego gallivanting the streets of Lagos looking so clean and foine but i don't bother going after them because...
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 10:40pm On Jun 27, 2017
Afam4eva:
Great question.

The problem with the term LOVE as defined by a lot of people is a farce and is only a representation of what their ideal man or woman should be. When actually love is supposed to connect people beyond any conceivable variable. Like a very beautiful and well endowed lady getting married to a short, black and big headed man who isn't rich. That is true love right there and not juju like a lot of people will want to believe.

Now, going for your spec is a different ball game. But please don't call it love except it's truely love.

It pertinent to note that people also attract what they are. It's funny how some ladies who aren't so good looking in the first place will be looking for a tall, handsome, rich and God fearing man. Examine yourself both inwards and outwards and be realistic with your expectations. I've seen people as beautiful as Agbani Darego gallivanting the streets of Lagos looking so clean and foine but i don't bother going after them because...
please Don't go... we are curious.. because of what
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 10:41pm On Jun 27, 2017
olagbemi118:
The poster below me has the right answers u need...he has never disappointed & he won't start now...trust him & do as he says....mind u I didn't read the post...
lol.. please read and say something nau
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 10:42pm On Jun 27, 2017
makydebbie:
I think it matters. To avoid things like, "she's not my soec". To justify cheating later on. We all know love can get us unreasonable at times. But guys I beg you, if you love busty ladies, go for them big boobs ladies. Don't go for a peanut sized boobs, and when you're caught cheating on her, you'll give excuse that you've always liked them big. As for me, it matters. So as to avoid stories that touch.
Abi... you have a point o. justification for cheating
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by makydebbie(f): 10:43pm On Jun 27, 2017
greatwomenworld:

Abi... you have a point o. justification for cheating
When it can easily be avoided.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 10:45pm On Jun 27, 2017
makydebbie:
I think it matters. To avoid things like, "she's not my soec". To justify cheating later on. We all know love can get us unreasonable at times. But guys I beg you, if you love busty ladies, go for them big boobs ladies. Don't go for a peanut sized boobs, and when you're caught cheating on her, you'll give excuse that you've always liked them big. As for me, it matters. So as to avoid stories that touch.
abi ...
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Kondomatic(m): 10:45pm On Jun 27, 2017
makydebbie:
I think it matters. To avoid things like, "she's not my soec". To justify cheating later on. We all know love can get us unreasonable at times. But guys I beg you, if you love busty ladies, go for them big boobs ladies. Don't go for a peanut sized boobs, and when you're caught cheating on her, you'll give excuse that you've always liked them big. As for me, it matters. So as to avoid stories that touch.

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by makydebbie(f): 10:47pm On Jun 27, 2017
Kondomatic:
..
Na you sabi. grin

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by goodmorning40: 11:27pm On Jun 27, 2017
It matters
My people say that eye chop first before e reach mouth
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by joyAA(f): 7:43am On Jun 28, 2017
Hmmmm, I think it matters ooo.
At least for the early stage of the relationship especially after leading to marriage

But somehow, everything balances up eventually, especially with money.
Imagine being married to timi dakolo, with the way he looked back then bony face n all grin grin and look at him now! All fresh n cute, who would say no to a brother like that? Even if your spec is a light and tall brother, a cute , handsome man answers all grin angry grin embarassed embarassed embarassed teehee
same with a sister, imagine how tinrigbeku sista Linda of banana 'Iceland' was and look at her now! If I was a man, I'd b more attracted to her now than b4 regardless of liking them short or yellow.

But much later age will dabaru everything, so i feel its necessary to keep up the spice in a relationship, but not necessarily to sustain it 'till death do us part'
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Edemaya: 8:32am On Jun 28, 2017
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Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Edemaya: 8:33am On Jun 28, 2017
When you get to a stage in life, u will definitely understand physical appearance isn't that special in telling someone No, what will be your watch out for would mainly be good characters, God fearing and at least a man that can take care of your needs.

3 Likes

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Antina(f): 8:42am On Jun 28, 2017
You were engrossed with his appearance and after your wedding he has an accident and what you like most in his appearance withers off, will you get a divorce?
Or you marry an handsome 'wife beater' or a beautifully shaped 'slay queen' who will kill you before your time.

There is one I read like that, she says she was in love with his hair before marriage, after marriage the husband lost some of his hair, God knows to what! And doesn't love husband anymore, But his husband dad is attracted to her (father-in-law) cos he still has the hair she fell in love with.

If we look at the divorce rate around us, we wouldn't say most of them didn't marry their specifications.

To me I will say appearance is not 'that' necessary, as far as he is complete (no disabilities), little above me in almost every aspects and he is good, I'm good to go.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Antina(f): 8:47am On Jun 28, 2017
makydebbie:
I think it matters. To avoid things like, "she's not my soec". To justify cheating later on. We all know love can get us unreasonable at times. But guys I beg you, if you love busty ladies, go for them big boobs ladies. Don't go for a peanut sized boobs, and when you're caught cheating on her, you'll give excuse that you've always liked them big. As for me, it matters. So as to avoid stories that touch. I'm a tall lady, because of love I'll not end up with a short man.

My sister, marrying someone spec. doesn't not stop someone from cheating "a cheater will always cheat and find excuse to justify it. What you will hear next is 'it's devil's work'.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Nobody: 9:48am On Jun 28, 2017
@greatwomenworld I will say yes and no. Physical appearance is directly proportional to love in most cases. I don't believe that you wake up one day and fall in love just like that.

You have to be attracted to the person first. In other scenarios, personality can be very attractive and a person can have that intriguing personality on a body that you are not even attracted to at all.

What happens in a scene like this? You WEIGH. Does his/her personality interests you more than how he/she looks? I mean you weigh the personality and looks. Anyone that has a higher percentage, you go for. I believe you use your heart to weigh here .Let me use my self as a case study.

I am attracted to very dark, slim, tall, left handed and good looking men, but I ended up with a very good looking, chocolate, tall, chubby man. He has this kind of bad boy personality grin, honestly I think that was what I was attracted to first. Then as time flew by,I fell in love.

In summary, you have just got to WEIGH which is more important

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Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by mayemmie1(f): 9:51am On Jun 28, 2017
yes it is,
but way before the proposal in fact b4 dating u must have bin satisfied with the physical appearance of the person or at least ready to accept it that way.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 11:28pm On Jun 28, 2017
vicfuntop:
@greatwomenworld I will say yes and no. Physical appearance is directly proportional to love in most cases. I don't believe that you wake up one day and fall in love just like that.

You have to be attracted to the person first. In other scenarios, personality can be very attractive and a person can have that intriguing personality on a body that you are not even attracted to at all.

What happens in a scene like this? You WEIGH. Does his/her personality interests you more than how he/she looks? I mean you weigh the personality and looks. Anyone that has a higher percentage, you go for. I believe you use your heart to weigh here .Let me use my self as a case study.

I am attracted to very dark, slim, tall, left handed and good looking men, but I ended up with a very good looking, chocolate, tall, chubby man. He has this kind of bad boy personality grin, honestly I think that was what I was attracted to first. Then as time flew by,I fell in love.

In summary, you have just got to WEIGH which is more important
Antina:


My sister, marrying someone spec. doesn't not stop someone from cheating "a cheater will always cheat and find excuse to justify it. What you will hear next is 'it's devil's work'.
vicfuntop:
@greatwomenworld I will say yes and no. Physical appearance is directly proportional to love in most cases. I don't believe that you wake up one day and fall in love just like that.

You have to be attracted to the person first. In other scenarios, personality can be very attractive and a person can have that intriguing personality on a body that you are not even attracted to at all.

What happens in a scene like this? You WEIGH. Does his/her personality interests you more than how he/she looks? I mean you weigh the personality and looks. Anyone that has a higher percentage, you go for. I believe you use your heart to weigh here .Let me use my self as a case study.

I am attracted to very dark, slim, tall, left handed and good looking men, but I ended up with a very good looking, chocolate, tall, chubby man. He has this kind of bad boy personality grin, honestly I think that was what I was attracted to first. Then as time flew by,I fell in love.

In summary, you have just got to WEIGH which is more important
lucky you sis...@ least he isn't short grin . okay, personality vs appearance. I get
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 11:30pm On Jun 28, 2017
Edemaya:
When you get to a stage in life, u will definitely understand physical appearance isn't that special in telling someone No, what will be your watch out for would mainly be good characters, God fearing and at least a man that can take care of your needs.
really? no offence o but can you go for a dwarf with all these personality?
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 11:32pm On Jun 28, 2017
Antina:


My sister, marrying someone spec. doesn't not stop someone from cheating "a cheater will always cheat and find excuse to justify it. What you will hear next is 'it's devil's work'.
you are very right.... once a cheat, always a cheat.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by greatwomenworld(f): 11:35pm On Jun 28, 2017
Antina:
You were engrossed with his appearance and after your wedding he has an accident and what you like most in his appearance withers off, will you get a divorce?
Or you marry an handsome 'wife beater' or a beautifully shaped 'slay queen' who will kill you before your time.

There is one I read like that, she says she was in love with his hair before marriage, after marriage the husband lost some of his hair, God knows to what! And doesn't love husband anymore, But his husband dad is attracted to her (father-in-law) cos he still has the hair she fell in love with.

If we look at the divorce rate around us, we wouldn't say most of them didn't marry their specifications.

To me I will say appearance is not 'that' necessary, as far as he is complete (no disabilities), little above me in almost every aspects and he is good, I'm good to go.

very true and I pray we don't get disabled in life because it's not funny. your comment is deep. thanks.
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by jashar(f): 11:22am On Jun 29, 2017
hmmm..... lipsrsealed
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Acidosis(m): 11:37am On Jun 29, 2017
Am I the only one who doesn't give a fck about appearance?

I particularly run away from ladies who carry these spec nonsense for head. If by any chance they fail to marry a man that meets at least 70% of their spec, that marriage will never know peace.

Nothing beats a woman or a man that loves you for no reason! When a man or woman loves you because you're tall, fat or rich, just know that you're doomed forever. The problem isn't whether or not the appearance will wither, it is about the fact that he/she will always meet someone BETTER, TALLER, FAIRER, RICHER, etc.

2 Likes

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Antina(f): 4:24pm On Jun 29, 2017
Acidosis:
Am I the only one who doesn't give a fck about appearance?

I particularly run away from ladies who carry these spec nonsense for head. If by any chance they fail to marry a man that meets at least 70% of their spec, that marriage will never know peace.

Nothing beats a woman or a man that loves you for no reason! When a man or woman loves you because you're tall, fat or rich, just know that you're doomed forever. The problem isn't whether or not the appearance will wither,
You are right.

Acidosis:

it is the fact that he/she will always meet someone BETTER, TALLER, FAIRER, RICHER, etc.
Exactly
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by crackhaus: 8:30pm On Jun 29, 2017
Physical appearance is important for sexual attraction, very important for me. For the most part of my adult life, falling in love is 20% 'her' physical appearance while the remaining 80% is spread out over a whole lot of other things.

Even when we fight, I want to be able to look at her and wish we were not fighting at that moment cos I'd rather be making love to the 'sexually appealing monster' that is her...but my pride never lets me admit it though, we still gotta finish that fight regardless. angry

So yea appearance is important BUT I take care not to stringently attach height, skin colour, or body size to it. Just be real pretty in the purest sense of the word before I can even make a move. It's only after having a conversation and getting to know more before one can decide if the stellar physical appearance will be worth the trouble it carries along.
Few years ago, I was with a tall dark skin babe who had some flesh on her..she was really dark and just didn't care to tone up or bleach, probably what caught my fancy among other things. Immediately after her, I was with a slender next chick with average height whom I nicknamed 'quarter-caste' for her complexion - complete opposites.
They had some things in common for sure - scoring the 20% mark for sex appeal/physical attractiveness and then knew how to make/take a good joke, laugh, have fun, and not take things too seriously.

The characteristics in bold are not things I get to know about a person from a distance, and by my reckoning, looking very attractive is what I consider before even thinking of closing such distances.

1 Like

Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Edemaya: 9:57pm On Jul 09, 2017
greatwomenworld:

really? no offence o but can you go for a dwarf with all these personality?

Do you know if I am dwarf? grin grin grin
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by Fkforyou(m): 5:59am On Jul 10, 2017
This things can be complicated atimes, I know I like fair girls (not snow whites..O) but I onced dated a dark skin girl that I really liked and still do, maybe it's because of her personality I guess.

So, yes, physical attractiveness does mean something to me let's say 50%
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by mira24(f): 7:29am On Jul 10, 2017
yss my dear ,once d prsn didnt meet up to d kind of person u need in a spouse ,just allow him be,marraige is too long to be spent on regret...
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by richyblink1(m): 10:20am On Jul 10, 2017
The problem is we attribute attraction to physicality too often. You don't claim to love someone just because of how huge their boobs are, how round their back is, how tall he is, how light his complexion is, how baritone his voice sound etc. These physical attributes satisfies lust and temporal desires.

Though we are all entitled to what moves us as humans, but the fact remains that LOVE itself is not measured by physicality, it is something that is barely expressible and to a large extent deals with personality.

Note; for you to get the answer you are looking for, study married couples to draw your conclusion.
While growing up almost every guy wants big boobs and heavy backside, while every lady wants a tall, dark and rich and handsome brother. But age and wisdom has taught us that genuine feelings most times searches for great personality rather than physicality
Re: Is Physical Appearance Enough To Say "NO"? by jashar(f): 3:45pm On Jul 10, 2017
yes grin

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