lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

Guyman02:


Not made up perhaps, I am facing near similar scenario and want to see matured opinion on the issue.
If you check the time I am reading and posting this is not because I want to be awake but because I spend a lot of time thinking, my wife is inconsiderate, my kids school fees is due, she has money but won't support and the responsibilities are much for me alone with meagre income etc

PaperLace:
This is what happens when you try to do the job of a therapist.

Marriage is not a rehabilitation centre for dysfunctional people _ don't go marrying people with the plans of changing them in marriage.

I pity the innocent kids you brought into all this, such emotional trauma from a mother that should be loving. I won't say you should divorce her, but I am very concerned about the well being of your kids. The way she lashes out at them with insults isn't good for their psyche. I am sure you know that. You owed them the duty of getting he best mum, something you've failed on. You might wanna consider removing them from that environment for the time being _till you fix the mess you created.

Encourage her to go for counselling, something you should have advised her to do 11yrs ago, instead you put a ring on it.
That woman needs to heal.

toksbisola:
@OP; hmmm how sad. IMHO, you’re a bit too soft; (no offence) toughen up a bit as your wife have wrapped you round her little finger (she has seen you finish; as in no respect what so ever). Aside that, there’re two important things you need to know when dealing with women viz;

1) Never ever let a woman know/sense that you love her more than she loves you. If you do you’re game. Your wife knows that, hence a possible reason for her mis-behaviour.
2) Never ever let a woman know what your weak point is as a man. If she knows it, you’re game. Your wife knows that you can’t do without her, hence another possible reason for her mis-behaviour.

The thing that upset me the most is that you saw this entire attitude in her during your 2 year courtship and you still went ahead and married her, thinking she would change right? WRONG MOVE. I suspect your wife is pretty or earns more than you which could be other reasons you couldn’t let her go; aside the fact of her nasty attitude and the other things you mentioned.

What baffled me the most was why you and your wife decided to bring 4 innocent children into a toxic environment. Another surprising thing is the fact that your wife was this nasty and you had the 1st child, then her nastiness continued; you had the 2nd child, then it got even worst; you had the 3rd child and the nastiness graduated and you subsequently had the 4th child. What on earth was going on why you couldn’t sort out the chaotic situation currently existing in the home front before you started popping out babies like they were going out of fashion? (I’m not judging you) I’m just bemused.

From another angle, you have painted your wife as a monster (excuse my language) but painted yourself as an innocent person which I find hard to believe. If your wife were to come here and say her part of the story, it mostly likely would be slightly different from your version as there are always 3 sides to a story; your side, their side and the truth.

Just to digress, a husband came here to describe the wife as a nasty piece of work and kept his side of the story squeaky clean until his wife found out about the thread and came here to say her side of the story. Needless to say, the people who were calling her a bad wife when they heard the husbands' side of the story shifted the blame to her husband when they heard the wifes' side of the story and instead started calling him the bad one as the wife mentioned terrible things the husband had done to her which the husband left out when he narrated his own side of the story. HOPE YOU GET WHERE I AM GOING.

Moving forward, there is only one question you need to ask your wife and the answer to that question would determine what to do next. Ask your wife DOES SHE STIIL WANT THIS MARRIAGE? If she answers YES you know what to do but if she says NO you know what to do. No one can tell you whether to leave or stay; that’s your call entirely as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches the most.

You and your wife have set a very bad precedent for your kids. That said, one piece of advice I’ll give you about the kids is this; as they grow older and get into the dating game, endeavour (just a suggestion) to use the example of you and their mum to teach them that when they see things they are not happy with during courtship, it should be addressed immediately. If the person with the problematic attitude isn’t willing to change then they should run faster than Usain Bolt as what you know you can’t take during courtship, would only get worse (if not corrected) after marriage.


Lesson learnt to all others who are courting and hoping the relationship would lead to marraige

1) Never ever marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond, (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.


I rest my case

fluxbush:
This your case is very strong. If all you say is true, then you have really tried your best. Don't come and kill yourself for another person. You aren't new to house chores and staying celibate for long periods of time,so you won't miss her much when you tell her to leave. Tell your wife to leave and get help. It isn't only when a person strips naked that we say he he or she has a mental problem. Such environment is even unhealthy for your kids to grow up in. Insist that she must get help, whether spiritual or psychological. We don't want to wake up one day and read the news that a wife killed her entire family. It's better to be happy alone than miserable for an entire lifetime. If she really wants the marriage to work,she will carry her legs,seek help and come back to you.

Again, as I always say, divorce isn't as bad as people paint it. If all has been exhausted, divorce her ass biko.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

toksbisola:
@OP; hmmm how sad. IMHO, you’re a bit too soft; (no offence) toughen up a bit as your wife have wrapped you round her little finger (she has seen you finish; as in no respect what so ever). Aside that, there’re two important things you need to know when dealing with women viz;

1) Never ever let a woman know/sense that you love her more than she loves you. If you do you’re game. Your wife knows that, hence a possible reason for her mis-behaviour.
2) Never ever let a woman know what your weak point is as a man. If she knows it, you’re game. Your wife knows that you can’t do without her, hence another possible reason for her mis-behaviour.

The thing that upset me the most is that you saw this entire attitude in her during your 2 year courtship and you still went ahead and married her, thinking she would change right? WRONG MOVE. I suspect your wife is pretty or earns more than you which could be other reasons you couldn’t let her go; aside the fact of her nasty attitude and the other things you mentioned.

What baffled me the most was why you and your wife decided to bring 4 innocent children into a toxic environment. Another surprising thing is the fact that your wife was this nasty and you had the 1st child, then her nastiness continued; you had the 2nd child, then it got even worst; you had the 3rd child and the nastiness graduated and you subsequently had the 4th child. What on earth was going on why you couldn’t sort out the chaotic situation currently existing in the home front before you started popping out babies like they were going out of fashion? (I’m not judging you) I’m just bemused.

From another angle, you have painted your wife as a monster (excuse my language) but painted yourself as an innocent person which I find hard to believe. If your wife were to come here and say her part of the story, it mostly likely would be slightly different from your version as there are always 3 sides to a story; your side, their side and the truth.

Just to digress, a husband came here to describe the wife as a nasty piece of work and kept his side of the story squeaky clean until his wife found out about the thread and came here to say her side of the story. Needless to say, the people who were calling her a bad wife when they heard the husbands' side of the story shifted the blame to her husband when they heard the wifes' side of the story and instead started calling him the bad one as the wife mentioned terrible things the husband had done to her which the husband left out when he narrated his own side of the story. HOPE YOU GET WHERE I AM GOING.

Moving forward, there is only one question you need to ask your wife and the answer to that question would determine what to do next. Ask your wife DOES SHE STIIL WANT THIS MARRIAGE? If she answers YES you know what to do but if she says NO you know what to do. No one can tell you whether to leave or stay; that’s your call entirely as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches the most.

You and your wife have set a very bad precedent for your kids. That said, one piece of advice I’ll give you about the kids is this; as they grow older and get into the dating game, endeavour (just a suggestion) to use the example of you and their mum to teach them that when they see things they are not happy with during courtship, it should be addressed immediately. If the person with the problematic attitude isn’t willing to change then they should run faster than Usain Bolt as what you know you can’t take during courtship, would only get worse (if not corrected) after marriage.


Lesson learnt to all others who are courting and hoping the relationship would lead to marraige

1) Never ever marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond, (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.


I rest my case

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

lisbonabdulahi:
As I am typing now, she is praying in her room

lisbonabdulahi:
thanks, but the cost of that perseverance though

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

NwaAmaikpe:


You will hate me if I tell you the truth..

But I didn't start typing this just to please you.

That your wife that treats you like trash melts at the sight of another man,
I doubt she has called you petnames in recent times but I can swear on Mungo Park's grave that she calls another man pet names.


She locks herself up in another room right? I'd tell you why...it's because she is either masturbating or having nude videocalls with one of her many social media, 'abroad-based' young lovers.

You want to sound like a good nice man, but Mr Man, you are a sissy...no real woman wants a sissy. They want a man who can exert his authority on them, in the home, on the bed, everywhere!!!!

Your wife leaves the house out of anger IMAGINE THAT NONSENSE!!!..where do you think she goes to? You think she goes for Night vigil at SYNAGOGUE Ikotun abi....she is in the house of one small fûckboy moaning his roof down and cursing the day she met you.

From the way you are going, very soon she'd give you the towel to hold while she bathes with another man in your bathroom.
I'm sure the few times she let's you touch her, she calls out another man's name.


Nwoke m, mepe anya!!!

Open your eyes and be a man

That dangling rod in between your leg is not for fancy, use it and cane some sense into her.
Use it and drive away the evil spirit out of her.
If you aren't so good, then use a real cane

banjicom:
I believe all this things that keeps happening is all your faults, you saw all the signs before your married her thinking she will change but she keeps getting worst. Now you will have to do it the hard way by choosing your choice.

She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

AnaCheks:
Will you Marry me?

DWJOBScom:


You know am a fan right?

Fan Kwa?

MizMyColi:


Yes, if you will be my second husband

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.