keepingmum:
Most LGA'S in plateau state are towns (mini cities).....so don't expect your typical timid unexposed teenager....yes she may live in and school in the village but jossites are not villagers in that sense....they are quite exposed because music is a common denominator/way of life in Plateau state

Well noted. Thanks

Had to invite my friend that brought her to the house along with his family his maid(her elder sister) inclusive, for a kind of familiarisation. We all talked at length and asked both girls questions to pick a thing or two from them.

Will be visiting her mum to know her people better, though we have actually spoken to her mum on phone.

Still on alert, you just never can tell.

Note: while they were in my house, the two sisters( my girl and her sister) were speaking language and gisting happily. She seem happy to be with us as was her response to my friend when he asked her about her experience so far.

Speaking queens English is not a problem in my opinion and not necessarily a reason to suspect her hiding some things(although everybody has personal secrets they don't want to share with anybody) at least she won't corrupt your younger children will adulterated English .


Yours is to know what you need to know about her and family, which I believe you should have done before bringing her home but its not too late anyways.

That's all.

queens English? she is possessed

I feel it is necessary to update you guys about the subject matter.

I invited my friend and his family(The man who brought her for us) including her elder sister that lives with my friend and his family. We all spoke and agreed to visit her people to get familiar with her family as well as them knowing us accordingly. All these happened on Sunday evening.

This morning while I was driving out for work, wifey gave me a latter saying it's from my daughter(our maid). When I got to the offcice I read her letter. Attached is her her letter.

At about 10am this morning, my mother in law called me that while she was bathing the babies(twin) that someone was at the gate talking with our maid, then after a while she stopped hearing their voice. She called 3x when there was no response she went to the door to find out why she wasn't answering, only to find the entrance door open, gate open as as well, my room door equally opened as well. Luckily for me my laundry man stays nearby and happens to know our maid as he saw her on Saturday when he came for laundry. I called him to help go to the house and secure the gate and doors while I call my friend who brought her to inform him. My laundry man immidiately informed me that he saw her leaving the estate while he went to get fuel at the gas station.

Right now they have been able to apprehend her when she returned to quietly carry out her mission which I am yet to find out. She believed the gate and doors were opened as she had left them.

richyblink1:


Her Dad is late, mum is in the village. Though she was recommended to me by a good friend who is with her elder sister for 5 years now. He made the whole arrangement. But we are already making plans to see her mum and know her village before leaving her alone with the kids. For now my mother in law is around and keeping a close watch on her till we do our verification.
Thanks

Y did she leave the last person?
That is a good place to start from. Was she well behaved there? Who was she living with? Did she continue schooling there or take some brush up courses? Church? ?
Don't forget she spent 5 years living and working with someone. That is a LONGGGG time to pick up and learn things.
Was she alone watching dstv on her own or watching British programs? Did she have access to radio, CD, MTV Base and listen to her satisfaction? Trust me, 5 years is a long time to learn and unlearn stuff.

PS: she stayed with someone for 5 years. Speak to that person, if the report was good, that speaks well of her behavior. It shows consistency and continuity of service. If you cannot deal with her, then please let her go and serve somewhere else. I hope you guys allow her do her stuff on her off days.

poppop:


Y did she leave the last person?
That is a good place to start from. Was she well behaved there? Who was she living with? Did she continue schooling there or take some brush up courses? Church? ?
Don't forget she spent 5 years living and working with someone. That is a LONGGGG time to pick up and learn things.
Was she alone watching dstv on her own or watching British programs? Did she have access to radio, CD, MTV Base and listen to her satisfaction? Trust me, 5 years is a long time to learn and unlearn stuff.

PS: she stayed with someone for 5 years. Speak to that person, if the report was good, that speaks well of her behavior. It shows consistency and continuity of service. If you cannot deal with her, then please let her go and serve somewhere else. I hope you guys allow her do her stuff on her off days.

Think you need to read through again, you mixed up the whole thing. Never said she stayed with me for 5 years. Was referring to her sister living with my friend who brought her to me

Lol you speak as if someone who schooled up to school cert level is an illiterate.na for university they dey learn English? Have you forgotten the world is a global village and it is easy to keep at par with the pop culture globally especially if one has a flair for such things. she might be a music lover with an inclination towards RnB as evidenced by her choice of music.Anyways she might be saying the truth as per the trip to ph being her first time of leaving her hometown.
I think you should be more interested in how effectively she carries out her duties and how respectful and willing to learn she is.
she might be a naturally smart person.
Good helps are hard to come by.I am in hell with my current one as she is the biggest olodo of all times but if you see her talking here or answering call you will think she is aisha buhari.my mom even said she speaks on the phone like a bank manager.the only thing keeping her with me is her relationship with the kids otherwise she is absolute zero.she is the worst person I have lived with and I have lived with quite a number of them.she has also commited a number of grave misdeeds but somehow I let go since she is still useful around the house and I don't know how good or bad the next person might be coupled with the difficulty of getting someone one can risk living with.I have loved with her since November 2016.
just be observant and monitor her very well she might not be a bad person

sistaj:
Lol you speak as if someone who schooled up to school cert level is an illiterate.na for university they dey learn English? Have you forgotten the world is a global village and it is easy to keep at par with the pop culture globally especially if one has a flair for such things. she might be a music lover with an inclination towards RnB as evidenced by her choice of music.Anyways she might be saying the truth as per the trip to ph being her first time of leaving her hometown.
I think you should be more interested in how effectively she carries out her duties and how respectful and willing to learn she is.
she might be a naturally smart person.
Good helps are hard to come by.I am in hell with my current one as she is the biggest olodo of all times but if you see her talking here or answering call you will think she is aisha buhari.my mom even said she speaks on the phone like a bank manager.the only thing keeping her with me is her relationship with the kids otherwise she is absolute zero.she is the worst person I have lived with and I have lived with quite a number of them.she has also commited a number of grave misdeeds but somehow I let go since she is still useful around the house and I don't know how good or bad the next person might be coupled with the difficulty of getting someone one can risk living with.I have loved with her since November 2016.
just be observant and monitor her very well she might not be a bad person

Please read my last post properly then repeat your advice again.
Thanks

just read the update. You dodged a bullet. since she even managed to write you of her intentions it's best to let her go.I commend her for coming forward instead of putting up a facade and eventually running away putting you guys in trouble.
goodluck in finding someone who will stay and love the kids and care for them.

sistaj:
just read the update. You dodged a bullet. since she even managed to write you of her intentions it's best to let her go.I commend her for coming forward instead of putting up a facade and eventually running away putting you guys in trouble.
goodluck in finding someone who will stay and love the kids and care for them.

I don't have issues with her leaving, but want to know the stranger that came looking for her this morning and where she went with him for an hour. I belive it was with same stranger she has disappeared with 2x (Friday and Saturday) without any explanation.

Secondly, why did she wait till I invite her sister and the man that brought her to book appointment to go see her people. Why did she equally leave the house unannounced this morning leaving the house open for a return mission before she was caught?

Somebody cannot sing real good in peace again.. Or is it meant for people that has lived or living in township?

richyblink1:
I feel it is necessary to update you guys about the subject matter.

I invited my friend and his family(The man who brought her for us) including her elder sister that lives with my friend and his family. We all spoke and agreed to visit her people to get familiar with her family as well as them knowing us accordingly. All these happened on Sunday evening.

This morning while I was driving out for work, wifey gave me a latter saying it's from my daughter(our maid). When I got to the offcice I read her letter. Attached is her her letter.

At about 10am this morning, my mother in law called me that while she was bathing the babies(twin) that someone was at the gate talking with our maid, then after a while she stopped hearing their voice. She called 3x when there was no response she went to the door to find out why she wasn't answering, only to find the entrance door open, gate open as as well, my room door equally opened as well. Luckily for me my laundry man stays nearby and happens to know our maid as he saw her on Saturday when he came for laundry. I called him to help go to the house and secure the gate and doors while I call my friend who brought her to inform him. My laundry man immidiately informed me that he saw her leaving the estate while he went to get fuel at the gas station.

Right now they have been able to apprehend her when she returned to quietly carry out her mission which I am yet to find out. She believed the gate and doors were opened as she had left them.

why was your room's door open? did she steal from you or what was she looking for?

Print too tiny for me to read. Whatever be the case, thank God no harm has been done yet. . .

We thank God. Lesson for all : before someone moves into your home, take out time and money, go know where s/he is coming from. Her parents, siblings, etc. Very important.

WiredLeggings:
why was your room door open? did she steal from you or what was she looking for?

Yet to ascertain if anything is missing as I was in the office throughout the incident. Just got home now. Besides, if anything is missing, should be wifey's jewelries as I don't know the quantity of her items

richyblink1:


I don't have issues with her leaving, but want to know the stranger that came looking for her this morning and where she went with him for an hour. I belive it was with same stranger she has disappeared with 2x (Friday and Saturday) without any explanation.

Secondly, why did she wait till I invite her sister and the man that brought her to book appointment to go see her people. Why did she equally leave the house unannounced this morning leaving the house open for a return mission before she was caught?

wow u didn't state she has been leaving prior without explanation.It is highly unacceptable.You must find out where she has been going .Make sure you press hard to find out.Tell her you will arrest her unless she tells the truth.some hardened ones wont even confess until you make a ploy of putting her in the car and going to the police.Also make sure you search her belongings before she leaves.
Also confirm all your important documents and possessions like jewelry is accounted for.
do not fail to find out who that stranger is and also interview him to find out what he does and all that to ascertain he is not a bad guy.It is quite serious. she might have given him/them important information about your goings and comings stuff like that.

sistaj:


wow u didn't state she has been leaving prior without explanation.It is highly unacceptable.You must find out where she has been going .Make sure you press hard to find out.Tell her you will arrest her unless she tells the truth.some hardened ones wont even confess until you make a ploy of putting her in the car and going to the police.Also make sure you search her belongings before she leaves.
Also confirm all your important documents and possessions like jewelry is accounted for.
do not fail to find out who that stranger is and also interview him to find out what he does and all that to ascertain he is not a bad guy.It is quite serious. she might have given him/them important information about your goings and comings stuff like that.

That's exactly my point, want to make sure everything is accounted for at home before she leaves, because she is surely leaving my house ASAP

Well she was decent enough to tell you she doesn't like working with little children and she's not happy with you and you should pls pardon her manners.

I want to go
I need to go
I don't like staying with children or staying in one place for a long time.
I am not happy, I am frustrated, this work is beyond my power.
I am begging you let me go

Wow she even tried, most maids will just disappear, let her go, not everyone can take care of children. Check if any of your things are missing, if not pls pay any outstanding wage and transport her back to jos.
Maybe she finds your environment to dull, maybe she's more of a social person, just sit her down and ask more details about the stranger ( he may even be a toaster) and her actions and let her go.

sistaj:


wow u didn't state she has been leaving prior without explanation.It is highly unacceptable.You must find out where she has been going .Make sure you press hard to find out.Tell her you will arrest her unless she tells the truth.some hardened ones wont even confess until you make a ploy of putting her in the car and going to the police.Also make sure you search her belongings before she leaves.
Also confirm all your important documents and possessions like jewelry is accounted for.
do not fail to find out who that stranger is and also interview him to find out what he does and all that to ascertain he is not a bad guy.It is quite serious. she might have given him/them important information about your goings and comings stuff like that.

She does and I equally stated that she has left the house twice without explanations

NoToPile:
Well she was decent enough to tell you she doesn't like working with little children and she's not happy with you and you should pls pardon her manners.

I want to go
I need to go
I don't like staying with children or staying in one place for a long time.
I am not happy, I am frustrated, this work is beyond my power.
I am begging you let me go

Wow she even tried, most maids will just disappear, let her go, not everyone can take care of children. Check if any of your things are missing, if not pls pay any outstanding wage and transport her back to jos.
Maybe she finds your environment to dull, maybe she's more of a social person, just sit her down and ask more details about the stranger ( he may even be a toaster) and her actions and let her go.

My issue is that she has never mention that she wants to go and I refuse or something.
I doubt the stranger is a toaster as she only arrived ph from Jos on Thursday.

Secondly, why did she wait till I initiate a meeting between her people and me, as well as visiting her home town.

Details reaching me now is that she alleged that her sister living with my friend is aware that she intend leaving my house etc.

richyblink1:


My issue is that she has never mention that she wants to go and I refuse or something.
I doubt the stranger is a toaster as she only arrived ph from Jos on Thursday.

Secondly, why did she wait till I initiate a meeting between her people and me, as well as visiting her home town.

Details reaching me now is that she alleged that her sister living with my friend is aware that she intend leaving my house etc.

Well she has mentioned it now, a week is still okay for her to say she wants to leave.
That's why you just need to ask her about the stranger , the lady seems chatty and extroverted and may have made friends within your estate this short time.

Maybe she wanted you to know she can't do the job before you visit her family and get familiar with them so she saved you the stress.

She could have told her sis she was not happy there and want to leave, its not an issue IMO

The basic thing is question her about the stranger, ensure she has not given any personal details out to the stranger (she's spent only a week and shouldn't have known so much about you guys), check if nothing has been stolen and let her go.

NoToPile:


Well she has mentioned it now, a week is still okay for her to say she wants to leave.
That's why you just need to ask her about the stranger , the lady seems chatty and extroverted and may have made friends within your estate this short time.

Maybe she wanted you to know she can't do the job before you visit her family and get familiar with them so she saved you the stress.

She could have told her sis she was not happy there and want to leave, its not an issue IMO

The basic thing is question her about the stranger, ensure she has not given any personal details out to the stranger (she's spent only a week and shouldn't have known so much about you guys), check if nothing has been stolen and let her go.

Sure she is leaving my house today, and must give us details of the stranger.
Personally I feel she has known a thing or two about me because she was brought to my office when she arrived before I took her home. She equally know what I and my wife's job entails.

Whatever it's, thank God we have noticed she is not here to stay because one of my kids will disappear sInce she stated in her letter that she doesn't like kids, to avoid stories that touch

richyblink1:


Sure she is leaving my house today, and must give us details of the stranger.
Personally I feel she has known a thing or two about me because she was brought to my office when she arrived before I took her home. She equally know what I and my wife's job entails.

Whatever it's, thank God we have noticed she is not here to stay because one of my kids will disappear sInce she stated in her letter that she doesn't like kids, to avoid stories that touch

Those ones are not intricate details IMO

I do doubt she has an ulterior motive anyway, its not an offence to say I am sorry I can't do this job, I want to go home. taking care of kids is hard work and not everyone is trained for that its better she opened up than maltreating your twins out of frustration and in all honesty less than one week is fair enough to know if one can cope.

richyblink1:


Think you need to read through again, you mixed up the whole thing. Never said she stayed with me for 5 years. Was referring to her sister living with my friend who brought her to me

Noted. It is her sister who lived with someone for 5 yrs n not the girl in question.

Anyways, i saw your last post on her opening the door. Y not let her go. Too much suspicion about her. Let her go and have your peace. Even if she had a perfectly honest reason for not shutting the door (that was very clumsy of her by the way) your mind doesn't seem to b at peace. So free her and get someone else or better still let your wife manage while you pitch in.

thorpido:
Well,with DSTV and other cable TV,one can speak well while living in a 'village'(if Jos town can be classed as that).

That said,she might be lying(I think the average maid hides things).
Just observe her well,keep your important possessions away from her reach.

Once you notice any behaviour that is unacceptable, don't hesitate to let her go.
I don't have a phobia for maids like some people do but before I bring in anyone,I do my due diligence.

All maids lie a bit. Their agents advise them to withhold info to make them more palatable to employers. The most common lie is that they don't know anyone in their new place of assignment: there's always a friend or boyfriend around. Just know that and deal accordingly.

OP, Plateau is far for a background check from Rivers state ( let's be reasonable biko, travel around Nigeria is barely safe). Also, knowing her family means what exactly? My first cousin in the US is an avid churchgoing, mother of 3, sadistic, violent nightmare. Absolutely no-one in my family (save I and her ex husbands) will tell you this so she can get hired by you if you show up at her family house requesting to meet her family. Every single rapist pedophile caught on NL's front-page was always married and had a veneer of respectability. The best judgment of her character is her. So watch her carefully for a month.

Do your checks: full medicals. Get all info: phone number and picture of her (clear ones). Since she likes "strolling" be sure that she will most likely "stroll" out when you're not home and make sure the estate security know this and watch her (I tell mine my help isn't supposed to go anywhere without my child unless I follow them out). Watch carefully. Her speaking well doesn't mean anything.

I actually prefer middle-aged helps, fewer issues. My mum had an 18 year old "innocent" who showed up pregnant, tried to mix our hard liquor to abort it, broke into our locked cupboards to steal and had a beautiful elaborate plan to cart everything away... all in under 3 weeks of resuming work. Young Nigerians of nowadays, their eye haff torn finish.

And the problem has been solved: she doesn't want to work. Great! Polite enough to even leave a note. Stvpid that she opened the doors and gate and left (maybe she was told by the stranger not to leave "emptyhanded" and she figured you may not want her to leave but will wish to return her to her sister). Send her on her way and continue your search. Good employees are hard to find.

Onegai:


All maids lie a bit. Their agents advise them to withhold info to make them more palatable to employers. The most common lie is that they don't know anyone in their new place of assignment: there's always a friend or boyfriend around. Just know that and deal accordingly.

OP, Plateau is far for a background check from Rivers state ( let's be reasonable biko, travel around Nigeria is barely safe). Also, knowing her family means what exactly? My first cousin in the US is an avid churchgoing, mother of 3, sadistic, violent nightmare. Absolutely no-one in my family (save I and her ex husbands) will tell you this so she can get hired by you if you show up at her family house requesting to meet her family. Every single rapist pedophile caught on NL's front-page was always married and had a veneer of respectability. The best judgment of her character is her. So watch her carefully for a month.

Do your checks: full medicals. Get all info: phone number and picture of her (clear ones). Since she likes "strolling" be sure that she will most likely "stroll" out when you're not home and make sure the estate security know this and watch her (I tell mine my help isn't supposed to go anywhere without my child unless I follow them out). Watch carefully. Her speaking well doesn't mean anything.

I actually prefer middle-aged helps, fewer issues. My mum had an 18 year old "innocent" who showed up pregnant, tried to mix our hard liquor to abort it, broke into our locked cupboards to steal and had a beautiful elaborate plan to cart everything away... all in under 3 weeks of resuming work. Young Nigerians of nowadays, their eye haff torn finish.

And the problem has been solved: she doesn't want to work. Great! Polite enough to even leave a note. Stvpid that she opened the doors and gate and left (maybe she was told by the stranger not to leave "emptyhanded" and she figured you may not want her to leave but will wish to return her to her sister). Send her on her way and continue your search. Good employees are hard to find.

Good bless you real good, you know exactly what prevailed.

At the park right now. Tickets bought, vehicle filled with an instruction to the driver not to let her out till she gets to jos. They just left right now

The most important thing to find out from a domestic staff I'd her medical situation and the answer to this question:

"Why did you leave your last place of employment and how long were you there for? "

That will tell you a lot more about your employees than whom their families are.

install CCTV camaras in and outside ur apartment. I can't keep a stranger in my house without a CCTV.

install CCTV camaras in and outside ur apartment. I can't keep a stranger in my house without a CCTV.

Onegai:


OP, Plateau is far for a background check from Rivers state ( let's be reasonable biko, travel around Nigeria is barely safe). Also, knowing her family means what exactly? My first cousin in the US is an avid churchgoing, mother of 3, sadistic, violent nightmare. Absolutely no-one in my family (save I and her ex husbands) will tell you this so she can get hired by you if you show up at her family house requesting to meet her

To each their own.
I would go to Yola and meet with the Villagers, parents, uncles, cousins and aunts of ANYONE that will be living in my house if it comes to that. Like marriage, live-in-help or staff is a BIG deal for me especially as the days have suddenly become over evil.

Yes, if I know my maids village and people, I would know where to go in less than 24 hours if s/he disappears with my kids, break into my room etc.

Yes, I will have the parents, siblings ALL locked up and dealt with if they don't produce their child and mine in less than 48 hours.

Maids can lie about the last place they worked and why the left. They can collude with their gang to produce fake glowing references about their last three employments.

What do you mean by British intonation?

lepasharon:
What do you mean by British intonation?

Question not necessary. Problem already solved