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I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me - Romance - Nairaland

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I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Gourdoinc(m): 10:56am On Aug 08, 2017
I don't fear death much because I have seen alot of it, but being claustrophobic I fear it because I can't imagine sleeping in a closed box. I am sitting down now in an eatery and wondering what on earth I might now die from. what could I have contracted by my unfortunate experience this morning. to be a woman wrapper is a very bad thing.

I had an engagement very early and since I am an early bird, I was in my car by 5am, I forgot to pray as usual and maybe in punishment, while at a long hold up, I noticed steam rising out of my bonnet. definitely an overheat. I have long promised that I will visit gazzuz soonest and yet this is me stuck on a hold up with an automatic car on overheating. some Nigerians are good sometimes and many came down and helped me push it off the road while the bus drivers abused and told me why such jalopy should have gone to the scrap yard decades ago. even some where magnanimous to give me bags of pure water and drove off. I was stuck on the road and since I was in a hurry, I waited for the heat to calm down and realised my fan has stopped. not wanting go be delayed I decided to abandon the car there and take a bus. the next bus that arrived, while trying to hop inside, I noticed a very very pretty lady sitting alone at the back end of the bus, despite having seats vacant In front. I unashamedly went to join her there.

this yeye girl made me enter inside instead of staying outside, thus I sat close to the window, not soon after I engaged her in a chat and we were talking in monosyllables. while this was going on, a passenger directly in front of me kept coughing. the cough was so violent that I assumed he had tuberculosis. I tried to minimize what I was saying, not soon afterwards, like a coincidence from hell, while trying to act all professional, when she said something that wasn't even very funny in the least, I burst out laughing like a crazy idiot. simultaneously was when this useless paseenger decided it was time to release all his accumulated spittle out the window.

oh I felt something salty trickle down my throat with a slimy and smelly wetness on my face, mouth and tongue. the wind had just pushed alot of this spittle to yours truly. I shouted like someone who was poured acid. I immediately burst into tears because I am very sure that salty thing I felt in my throat was also the spittle.

the person turned to me to apologize and I realised its a northerner. the people (sorry to say) who are experts in being hosts of communicable diseases. yet I just swallowed the spittle of a fellow man.

I didn't care anymore about the world, about the girl, I broke down in tears as everybody kept begging me. I coughed and coughed hoping to get it out of my stomach, I would have brought out blood and wouldn't have cared. how could this happen to me. not soon had this happened the girl got down at her bus stop. what had I gained.

can I say I haven't kissed a man before now? what diseases could I now be carrying. if you smell this spittle on my face you will know this man hasn't brushed since we feared Y2K. yet this is what entered my mouth because I was laughing in morrafucker at something which wasn't even funny just to impress a girl.

my cousin who is a doctor told me nothing will happen, so far I take some antibiotics, but I still feel death has come knocking. because that cough was too violent to be normal and I used it for breakfast.

1 Like

Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Draei: 11:02am On Aug 08, 2017
I'm at war with reading long posts.
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Nobody: 11:07am On Aug 08, 2017
grin grin grin
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by ChopBellefull(m): 11:16am On Aug 08, 2017
Gourdoinc:
I don't fear death much because I have seen alot of it, but being cl.

I me nothing will happen, so far I take some antibiotics, but I still feel death has come knocking. because that cough was too violent to be normal and I used it for breakfast.

Wen ur village pple decide to remember u, they spoilt ur car nd introduced u to a karashika.. Bro don't worry u ll nt die
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by lalanice(f): 11:18am On Aug 08, 2017
cheesy very funny and disgusting at the same time, makes me want to puke. embarassed
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by goodmorning40: 11:31am On Aug 08, 2017
Hahahahaaaaaa wayooo
The evil that men do lives with them
Next time when u see a fine girl face ur front that is if u survive this one
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by ikp120(m): 11:33am On Aug 08, 2017
**Singing ** "Lie to me if the truth will break my heart o"
Continue bro. cool cool
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by madamGift(f): 11:51am On Aug 08, 2017
Lol
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Nobody: 12:02pm On Aug 08, 2017
cheesy cheesy
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Blackhawk01: 12:08pm On Aug 08, 2017
Isn't this the moniker with a big Jolojolo and wrapper? Now, you don swallow pesin saliva, heuwwwww! embarassed embarassed

Your problem issa problem tongue
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Buharison: 12:14pm On Aug 08, 2017
Blackhawk01:
Isn't this the moniker with a big Jolojolo and wrapper? Now, you don swallow pesin saliva, heuwwwww! embarassed embarassed

Your problem issa problem tongue
Hello patriot of this great country tongue
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Blackhawk01: 12:22pm On Aug 08, 2017
Buharison:

Hello patriot of this great country tongue

Son of the soil grin cheesy tongue
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Buharison: 12:36pm On Aug 08, 2017
Blackhawk01:


Son of the soil grin cheesy tongue
how are you doing this wonderful afternoon grin
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by adaksbullet: 12:39pm On Aug 08, 2017
Whot I'm I read in sat mrng like these nitori oloun cry



2003 yr we be great cool few hr too entered 2003 cheesy grin
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by kaeycea(m): 2:06pm On Aug 08, 2017
You cried because the spittle came from that suspected sick man. Had it being the spittle came from lady you rushed to sit close with, you would have swallowed it, smiled at her graciously and told her how sweet it had tasted; and then let her know how you would have loved the oportunity to taste her spittle more and more.
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by chukxie(m): 2:18pm On Aug 08, 2017
What a mighty and disgusting 'kelebe' blessing you receive. grin grin. Such thick slimy saliva can stink to high heaven undecided. Use dettol wash your wash and take some antibiotics.
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Divay22(f): 2:18pm On Aug 08, 2017
grin grin grin grin
Don't worry you won't die
Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Onyenna(m): 3:28pm On Aug 08, 2017
CHOOIIIII!!

.....

This one is very strong ooooh!.....



....

...Sorry to say this......BUT.......
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...
...
....

...
....

...
...



....

....Honestly. ......
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Re: I Think I Might Be Dying Soon, God Help Me by Nobody: 4:19pm On Aug 08, 2017
Gourdoinc:
I don't fear death much because I have seen alot of it, but being claustrophobic I fear it because I can't imagine sleeping in a closed box. I am sitting down now in an eatery and wondering what on earth I might now die from. what could I have contracted by my unfortunate experience this morning. to be a woman wrapper is a very bad thing.

I had an engagement very early and since I am an early bird, I was in my car by 5am, I forgot to pray as usual and maybe in punishment, while at a long hold up, I noticed steam rising out of my bonnet. definitely an overheat. I have long promised that I will visit gazzuz soonest and yet this is me stuck on a hold up with an automatic car on overheating. some Nigerians are good sometimes and many came down and helped me push it off the road while the bus drivers abused and told me why such jalopy should have gone to the scrap yard decades ago. even some where magnanimous to give me bags of pure water and drove off. I was stuck on the road and since I was in a hurry, I waited for the heat to calm down and realised my fan has stopped. not wanting go be delayed I decided to abandon the car there and take a bus. the next bus that arrived, while trying to hop inside, I noticed a very very pretty lady sitting alone at the back end of the bus, despite having seats vacant In front. I unashamedly went to join her there.

this yeye girl made me enter inside instead of staying outside, thus I sat close to the window, not soon after I engaged her in a chat and we were talking in monosyllables. while this was going on, a passenger directly in front of me kept coughing. the cough was so violent that I assumed he had tuberculosis. I tried to minimize what I was saying, not soon afterwards, like a coincidence from hell, while trying to act all professional, when she said something that wasn't even very funny in the least, I burst out laughing like a crazy idiot. simultaneously was when this useless paseenger decided it was time to release all his accumulated spittle out the window.

oh I felt something salty trickle down my throat with a slimy and smelly wetness on my face, mouth and tongue. the wind had just pushed alot of this spittle to yours truly. I shouted like someone who was poured acid. I immediately burst into tears because I am very sure that salty thing I felt in my throat was also the spittle.

the person turned to me to apologize and I realised its a northerner. the people (sorry to say) who are experts in being hosts of communicable diseases. yet I just swallowed the spittle of a fellow man.

I didn't care anymore about the world, about the girl, I broke down in tears as everybody kept begging me. I coughed and coughed hoping to get it out of my stomach, I would have brought out blood and wouldn't have cared. how could this happen to me. not soon had this happened the girl got down at her bus stop. what had I gained.

can I say I haven't kissed a man before now? what diseases could I now be carrying. if you smell this spittle on my face you will know this man hasn't brushed since we feared Y2K. yet this is what entered my mouth because I was laughing in morrafucker at something which wasn't even funny just to impress a girl.

my cousin who is a doctor told me nothing will happen, so far I take some antibiotics, but I still feel death has come knocking. because that cough was too violent to be normal and I used it for breakfast.
Nyaaaammmmaaaaaa... Tufiakwa. Calm down you won't die. Damn

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