Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Christians are on the front page for the same reason literally everyday whats their excuse? No Muslim has ever accused the Bible or Christianity but always expect Nigerian Christians to be crude, hypocritical and shameless.

Sterope:
It is not known. Men insult as much as women. Take a look on this forum, and tell me if men don't insult. O line or offline, men insult as much. I guess you wouldn't know because you don't have a problem with men.

its uncommon, nevertheless even if the husband insults her , she isn't supposed to talk back, its like talking back at your father. will you talk back at your father no matter his utterances?

let it stick to your brains, men aren't your equals . its just that way. the earlier you accept the better for you

PaperLace:


Marriage isn't to be endured. Marriage should be enjoyed
Bring the women of the old to this generation, empower them _and a very tiny percentage of them would be willing to endure.

Mutual respect and love is paramount in marriage. You don't need any older person , holy book or religious leader to tell you. Any normal person with a working conscience knows this.

People can decieve you that marriage is not to be endured. Let me tell you the bitter truth their are some character /traits in your husband/wife that you cannot change overnight (excluding beating of course)

You will have to put up with it until you learn to adjust or your partner finally gets over it.

Marriage is not a bed of roses. And enjoyment doesn't mean everything is exactly the way you read it in novels.

My dear brace up for reality if you want to stay married . There will be challenges... But the beauty is when both of you can stay and weather it together then it becomes a sweet story to tell the young ones when you are old.

Problem is most people can't endure and they opt for the easy way out.

Divorce is very easy. Building a marriage that lasts is hard work. Don't be deceived

I don't believe in all these love, respect and other terms people throw about. I don't know a woman that doesn't want to be respected nor do I see a man that does not want to be loved. Submission is a word that is too big to comprehend in this scenario. Either partner can be more flexible than the other. So can we stop making it sound like men cannot be flexible and women cannot compromise unless they see it as a duty? It is an insult on both sexes.


How about we treat our spouses as humans who have feelings like we do?

Iamzik:


If you look at it through the prism of financial contribution you are bound to get it wrong.

No matter who contributes or has more money, the basic principles of love, patience (man) and respect, submission (woman) will always win the day if husband and wife see themselves as one.

I know female politicians who are richer and far more influential than their husbands but they still play their role as wife. I equally know men who are richer and more influential than their wives and that shouldn't oveebloat their ego to think they can misbehave.

Money is dicey. Go for the basic principles and life is simple.

Iamzik:


People can decieve you that marriage is not to be endured. Let me tell you the bitter truth their are some character /traits in your husband/wife that you cannot change overnight (excluding beating of course)

You will have to put up with it until you learn to adjust or your partner finally gets over it.

Marriage is not a bed of roses. And enjoyment doesn't mean everything is exactly the way you read it in novels.

My dear brace up for reality if you want to stay married . There will be challenges... But the beauty is when both of you can stay and weather it together then it becomes a sweet story to tell the young ones when you are old.

Problem is most people can't endure and they opt for the easy way out.

Divorce is very easy. Building a marriage that lasts is hard work. Don't be deceived

Marriage isn't to be ENDURED. No one is contesting every other thing with you, stop unnecessary deflections.

Sterope:
I don't believe in all these love, respect and other terms people throw about. I don't know a woman that doesn't want to be respected nor do I see a man that does not want to be loved. Submission is a word that is too big to comprehend in this scenario. Either partner can be more flexible than the other. So can we stop making it sound like men cannot be flexible and women cannot compromise unless they see it as a duty? It is an insult on both sexes.


How about we treat our spouses as humans who have feelings like we do?

that's their problem , they think they are now equals with men. they don't want to hear that word submit

My husband is not father. My husband is not even like my father. No one can ever be my father except my father. In the list of people that are like my father, I don't see a husband. I see my husband's father and other men but not my husband. If you feel useless and worthless without a woman, your problem not women's problem. Quit making it sound like it our problem.

I am not your equal either. From this conversation, it is clear who has more to offer the world between you and I.

Arrant nonsense!

Ademolag:


its uncommon, nevertheless even if the husband insults her , she isn't supposed to talk back, its like talking back at your father. will you talk back at your father no matter his utterances?

let it stick to your brains, men aren't your equals . its just that way. the earlier you accept the better for you

Sterope:
I don't believe in all these love, respect and other terms people throw about. I don't know a woman that doesn't want to be respected nor do I see a man that does not want to be loved. Submission is a word that is too big to comprehend in this scenario. Either partner can be more flexible than the other. So can we stop making it sound like men cannot be flexible and women cannot compromise unless they see it as a duty? It is an insult on both sexes.


How about we treat our spouses as humans who have feelings like we do?

Good question
Being flexible has nothing to do with your original role in marriage. Anybody and everybody is expected to be flexible. A man and a woman are wired differently so yes love and respect will always win

Unfortunately marriage is not designed to work the way you stated above. Your husband/wife is different from your colleagues at work(people you merely treat nicely as humans) . If you follow the original design you will get a good home. If you decide to alter it, you can't get thesame result.

However you can experiment with your idea

PaperLace:


Marriage isn't to be ENDURED. No one is contesting every other thing with you, stop unnecessary deflections.

Point taken.

When your husband/wife develops any habit you don't like, don't endure or put up with it. Just jump right out of the marriage because marriage is supposed to be enjoyed only.

BTW I forgot....you are perfect and he/she will not need to put up with any character flaw in you!

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Why do you always have to attack Islam in every opportunity you get..... Should we say Christianity also teaches a Christian when ever thay are involved in bad/evil? We hear of pastors killing, raping and even getting involved in domestic violence on daily bases but no Muslim will ever come online to link it with Christianity.... Please go get some sense and grow up.

Iamzik:


Point taken.
When your husband/wife develops any habit you don't like, don't endure or put up with it. Just jump right out of the marriage because marriage is supposed to be enjoyed only.
BTW I forgot....you are perfect and he/she will not need to put up with any character flaw in you!

Okay.

Sterope:
Actually, if you could read you will see that your question is very defective and I have given you reasons why it is.

I have already asked you to talk to your grandparents.

Case closed since you can't answer the question.
There is nothing defective here.

Contemporary Studies have shown that domestic violence and divorce have increased tremendously over the last few generations.

Do you ever Ponder on what could be responsible for this worrisome trend?

It is lack of respect for the marriage institution.
Men and women think they can marry and then live in the marriage independently like singles, completely unaccountable to each other.

Unless men and women change their orientation, we have not seen anything yet!

Have mutual love and respect and know your place and limit as a husband /wife. The man is the head and is wired to lead. The wife is the homemaker and brings sweetness into the marriage.

If each party plays their role well there will be peace

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

YOUR HEAD CORRECT JARE

Nigerian doctors need d hand of God seriously.

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

You are illiterate, you dont know anything about Islam. this is a story of medical doctor beating his wife in Bauchi, why must you relate it to Islam? We have read the story if Tonto Dikeh here many time and we have NEVER relate such Domestic violence to Christianity despite the fact that the two are christian. Pls use your head as no amout of hatred will stop Islam from dominating the world.

To those saying she must have deserved the beating, and not condemning the violence, I hope when you see the story of a woman pouring hot oil/water, using a knife to cut off a husband's joystick /stabbing him, using a pestle to rearrange his destiny / putting poison in his meal etc you will also say he deserved it, and not condemn the act of violence.

I wonder how you expect a sane society to function if violence against anyone is supported and not put in check.

Iamzik:


Point taken.

When your husband/wife develops any habit you don't like, don't endure or put up with it. Just jump right out of the marriage because marriage is supposed to be enjoyed only.

BTW I forgot....you are perfect and he/she will not need to put up with any character flaw in you!

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying, but getting violent on anyone should be a no-no, talkless of someone close to you.. Everyone is annoying in a marriage. Is it in terms of infidelity? Saying hurtful things to one's spouse ( Thats not only a woman's thing, I've seen a lot of cases where a man will say something so hurtful the woman will feel like committing suicide), spending money meant for the home/children on frivolous things like parties, clothes, girlfriends etc.
That doesn't mean we should endorse any form of violence. It's first and foremost against the law, even if you don't believe in humanity.
It's criminal and should never be endorsed.
I hope law enforcement will take it up anyway, since the victim has come out and complained of a crime carried out against her person.

Ademolag:


that's their problem , they think they are now equals with men. they don't want to hear that word submit

Wife is a part of you now u need to comunicate not use violence ur partners solving whatever problem together u not the boss man..

Iamzik:


You stylishly dodged the question so I will ask again :

Since the days of our grand parents till date do you think the rate of divorce /domestic violence has increased or decreased?

Answer simply

The advent of social media and wider publicity brought out a lot of those ills that would otherwise not be known.
I don't get how people think the old marriages were some fairytale when they weren't. The women mostly cos they were largely dependent on the husbands had to endure any of the B.S he decides to throw at them, and the Society was even harder then than now for a woman who decides to go the divorce route, there was no support system, only the strong ones can decide to leave if being maltreated. (Women are better empowered/ educated now so there will surely be a difference. I think this threatens the men's ego).
Most of these marriages are all endurance and little enjoyment. I think that's what people want marriage to continue to be like for women, endure, endure, endure for your children's sake.

eyinjuege:
To those saying she must have deserved the beating, and not condemning the violence, I hope when you see the story of a woman pouring hot oil/water, using a knife to cut off a husband's joystick /stabbing him, using a pestle to rearrange his destiny / putting poison in his meal etc you will also say he deserved it, and not condemn the act of violence.

I wonder how you expect a sane society to function if violence against anyone is supported and not put in check.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying, but getting violent on anyone should be a no-no, talkless of someone close to you.. Everyone is annoying in a marriage. Is it in terms of infidelity? Saying hurtful things to one's spouse ( Thats not only a woman's thing, I've seen a lot of cases where a man will say something so hurtful the woman will feel like committing suicide), spending money meant for the home/children on frivolous things like parties, clothes, girlfriends etc.
That doesn't mean we should endorse any form of violence. It's first and foremost against the law, even if you don't believe in humanity.
It's criminal and should never be endorsed.
I hope law enforcement will take it up anyway, since the victim has come out and complained of a crime carried out against her person.

Don't mind the hypocrites. They talk like men don't also have bad mouth or insult and ridicule their wife, even her family, tell her she is useless, how he picked her from the gutters, and all that nonsense. But I guess it's OK when the man does it. They talk like men are Saints, only a woman can insult.

Ademolag:


it takes two people to dialogue... ask if she was ready to dialogue Oga!!

a pastor said if you are really the woman God wants you to be, your husband can't beat you even if he's the devil

So just because the husband's daft brain couldn't think of how to resolve issues that justifies him to use violence to show he is superior? Can't he take the matter to elders?. Is the marriage knot not tied by respected elders? My friend think deep.

yomi007k:


Im innocent n full of love and positive energy.

Stooping so low aint on my check list.

Nice one.

But wetin she do before the man beat am na?

gqboyy:

So just because the husband's daft brain couldn't think of how to resolve issues that justifies him to use violence to show he is superior? Can't he take the matter to elders?. Is the marriage knot not tied by respected elders? My friend think deep.

you be small boy

Evablizin:
Men you all should learn how to control your anger,if you keep on listening to what we say with this our mouth even when we are wrong you will die or kill us before our time bikonu make una take am easy abeg

Wee you keep qwayet or should I shut you up?

Responses after 30 minutes will not be dealt with

gqboyy:
Wife beaters are cowards

Until you meet her using cane on your aged mom.

GeneralOjukwu:
She would probably be divorced for "exposing" too much of her body.

I pray he does just that. She deserves someone to treat her like a human not like an animal.

It takes two to tango.

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Christians! This is how they creates problems on social medias

Evablizin:
Men you all should learn how to control your anger,if you keep on listening to what we say with this our mouth even when we are wrong you will die or kill us before our time bikonu make una take am easy abeg

If only you guys can just accept that you're all a stvpid bunch then it would be easier for us to leave y'all when you rant.

But you guys will be ranting like you have anything upstairs and that's exactly what irks the shiiit out of us!

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Christians! The cause trouble. This is how is all started

Why should an adult be beating up another adult? His wife for that matter. Is she a child? Use other means to pass your message across.

Keep pulling up facts from thin air. Co.pareing apples and oranges seems to be your thing. It is not mine.

1. Domestic abuse has always been the norm not the exception until the past few years. Respect or not, your grandmother or greatgrndmother was battered by your grandfather or great-grandfather. Go ask around. It was part of life for them, it would be unusual for a woman to complain about abuse unless it was the extreme kind. So yes, women respected their husbands and they still got the cane in return.

2. You cannot compare the cockroach population to that of today. The population has grown tremendously. I don't think I need to expantiate.

3. We didn't have much divorce primarily because of the backlash from the society. Nowadays, people can't be bothered. They have aspirations and there is no way in hell society is going to stop it. Given what these women went through, most of your old respectful women would choose divorce if they had the choice. You need to hear then when they lament and it is that same mouth that they will use to insult women who choose not to suffer like they did.

Basically, you cannot tell me life then was better for women because they respected (whatever your meant by respect) their husbands. You know nothing about them or their lives. You have chosen the narrative that even your father and grandfather would disagree with. I didn't choose mine, I heard and read mine from people who would tell you to your face that there is no way a man won't beat his wife. You read that right.

Iamzik:


Case closed since you can't answer the question.
There is nothing defective here.

Contemporary Studies have shown that domestic violence and divorce have increased tremendously over the last few generations.

Do you ever Ponder on what could be responsible for this worrisome trend?

It is lack of respect for the marriage institution.
Men and women think they can marry and then live in the marriage independently like singles, completely unaccountable to each other.

Unless men and women change their orientation, we have not seen anything yet!

Have mutual love and respect and know your place and limit as a husband /wife. The man is the head and is wired to lead. The wife is the homemaker and brings sweetness into the marriage.

If each party plays their role well there will be peace