Don't be quick to judge. We don't know what transpired between them. You all know women are stubborn. I'm not saying the man is right though.

Evablizin:
Men you all should learn how to control your anger,if you keep on listening to what we say with this our mouth even when we are wrong you will die or kill us before our time bikonu make una take am easy abeg

Agreed. But they pain you inflict with your sharp tongue sometimes makes a man mad, you should also try some control please.

Evablizin:
Men you all should learn how to control your anger,if you keep on listening to what we say with this our mouth even when we are wrong you will die or kill us before our time bikonu make una take am easy abeg

When we try to ignore what women say, just to at least avoid violence, they will even say worse things or possibly become violent. They see that coolness as a sign of weakness.

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Stop quoting verses you do not understand, you end up creating more confusions than enlghtment, and for what?, cheap likes & some islam phobic dude to toast you

I am enjoying the conversation here. As a medical doctor and a psychotherapist, these discussions hold a lot for me.

Well done, PaperLace, but I do believe that you feel life is as easy as you make it. Well, we professionals know it is not in all cases. Sometimes, the victims may have mental disorders like bipolar disorder or narcissistic personality disorder and the husband may be unaware because their marriage counselor is a pastor and not a professional. A man who marries a woman with narcissistic personality disorder is likely to beat her one day if he does not quickly walk away. Same goes for a woman who marries a man with narcissistic personality disorder. She is likely to become so battered emotionally and physically if she does not quickly seperate herself from him. Having given therapies to a lot of people, I can confidently tell you that not every man who became violent liked it. Some of them only did it once and regret it for a long time. Take for instance, a gentleman who marries this beautiful woman without knowing that she has narcissistic personality disorder. She begins to frustrate his life by throwing blames, abusing his parents whenever she feels like, is so jealous that she wants him to only work with males even though he is not the owner of the company where he works, slaps him and does not expect to be hit back and then one day, he defends himself. And one thing with people with narcissistic personality disorder is their ability to make you feel guilty in order to continue to manipulate you and make you feel worthless without them. So, the day you hit them (even if they have been hitting you for years), they would surely play the victim's card and then they will nag you everyday to make you feel bad for ever daring to stand up to their manipulation. I can tell you that there are men going through frustrations like these. Just as there are women going through same. Cases like these are sometimes unique that it is difficult to judge them. The one that came to social media first might have even been the aggressor.

EazyMoh:

I know I must see a dumb comment like this.
So all those Christian couples involved in domestic violence must be following those Qura'nic verses right?
There are far more cases of domestic violence in noj-Muslim homes.
Granted it's permissible to strike one"s spouse just like you do kids, only when it's considered the only means for correction after exhausting other options but it comes with guidelines and no-go areas of which this fool has clearly violated.

You just confirmed what the "dumb comment" said

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

U re a fool for quoting the Quran wrongly if u don't know u keep short

Divay22:
How did she get married to this beast in the first place...
Na wa o
Well nothing demolishes a man more than the pain of his wife.

Picture not completely real

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

may Allah cure you of your malady Bro.If you don't know something then you ask

oluwasegun400:
One Dr Samaila Zakari Wase, a medical doctor at Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University Teaching Hospital,Bauchi has been accused of domestic violence.

As posted by Abdulmumin Suleiman on Facebook today:


"She was beaten to stupor by her husband, a medical doctor at ATBUTH. His name Dr Sama'ila Zakari Wase. Pls share until Justice is served to her Muhammad Baba. Just imagine!! When his class are beating McGregor to win Millions of Dollars"

Source: http://www.flexygist.com.ng/2017/08/27/dometic-violence-medical-doctor-in-bauchi-allegedly-beats-wife-to-stupor-photos/

Dr not mad. what did the wife do?

WORDWORLD:


My dear, and how many times did the Prophet who Muslims are meant to emulate beat his own wives. CAN YOU COME UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE AS TO SUCH?!

So if Muslims are supposed to emulate the prophet it means they should marry 6 years old girls and consummate the marriage when the girls turn 9 yrs.
Evaberry told the truth. The quran instructs men to beat their wives when they misbehave don't run away from what your quran ask you to do, you will be running away from Allah instructions if you do that.

If u do that to me I will kill you..

Some guys are asking what the woman did, like really? Whatever happens to walking away, if you are tired about the relationship why not settle it amicably rather than inflicting pains, please this is an eye sore. Men should start by beating their mates lets see how powerful they are

tosyne2much:
They will soon be here for you

like she made sense for your moronic mind?

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

The Quran permits this sh*t?
Some people can lie eh!
If I shld pray dat God should give u a husband that will beat off lies from u now, people wl start saying dt am wicked ni

WORDWORLD:


My dear, and how many times did the Prophet who Muslims are meant to emulate beat his own wives. CAN YOU COME UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE AS TO SUCH?!

Should we open a thread me and you alone so we discuss this INDEPTHLY?!

Evaberry how are you even sure he is a Muslim to start with? 'Samaila Zakari'

Its a pity, some of them can't wait to expose their shameful bigotry and ignorance at the same time.

LordOfNaira:
I am enjoying the conversation here. As a medical doctor and a psychotherapist, these discussions hold a lot for me.

Well done, PaperLace, but I do believe that you feel life is as easy as you make it. Well, we professionals know it is not in all cases. Sometimes, the victims may have mental disorders like bipolar disorder or narcissistic personality disorder and the husband may be unaware because their marriage counselor is a pastor and not a professional. A man who marries a woman with narcissistic personality disorder is likely to beat her one day if he does not quickly walk away. Same goes for a woman who marries a man with narcissistic personality disorder. She is likely to become so battered emotionally and physically if she does not quickly seperate herself from him. Having given therapies to a lot of people, I can confidently tell you that not every man who became violent liked it. Some of them only did it once and regret it for a long time. Take for instance, a gentleman who marries this beautiful woman without knowing that she has narcissistic personality disorder. She begins to frustrate his life by throwing blames, abusing his parents whenever she feels like, is so jealous that she wants him to only work with males even though he is not the owner of the company where he works, slaps him and does not expect to be hit back and then one day, he defends himself. And one thing with people with narcissistic personality disorder is their ability to make you feel guilty in order to continue to manipulate you and make you feel worthless without them. So, the day you hit them (even if they have been hitting you for years), they would surely play the victim's card and then they will nag you everyday to make you feel bad for ever daring to stand up to their manipulation. I can tell you that there are men going through frustrations like these. Just as there are women going through same. Cases like these are sometimes unique that it is difficult to judge them. The one that came to social media first might have even been the aggressor.

I have been married short enough to know that there are days you'll do or say something that you'll regret. In such cases, even if it's as severe as infidelity or beating _I will forgive.

1. I am against people who think violence is the way to put a verbally abusive wife/spouse in place.
2. People who think verbal abuse is exclusive to women, and physical abuse to men.
3. People who are deluded into thinking only women are annoying in marriage. You get to see comments like "women are very annoying", "women are stubborn". Who isn't annoying/stubborn in marriage?

Majority of these people knew what they were getting into. Just like I knew my spouse has a caustic mouth. Marriage makes you discover that these tiny faults are not that easy to live with, that's when they start beating each other _if they are not patient or smart enough to explore other means of curtailing the aggressor's excesses.

If you marry a spouse with such record on your own volition, it's up to you to have a correctional plan for them, this plan shouldn't include violence. People don't just develop these traits, the signs are always there.

The highlighted is spot on. I have said it severally that pre-marriage classes should be restructured. Practical solutions to possible marital issues. These solutions should be professional, not religious.

PaperLace:


I have seen women disgrace their husbands publicly. I have also seen men publicly disgrace their wives more often than the reverse. Have you also seen men disgrace their wives? I guess NO. None justifies violence _that's the point.

Men don't always take the blame. I have never seen you men blame men or caution them to bridle their tongues or third leg when their wives bathe them with hot water or break their heads.

Anyone that is the violent one, would take the blame from me. He/she had the choice of leaving the marriage. No excuse at all, no excuse would sound sensible to me.

You also have no idea how nauseating some men can be. Take a stroll through family section and see wives that have been battered physically and emotionally. All they get is advice on how they should pray for him or divorce him. Which is the right thing to do .

Sighs!

Evaberry:
The Quran actually allow men to beat their wives so this is no biggie for them and bauchi practices Sharia law. Quran 4:34. Quran38":44 amongst others

but seriously how can a man inflict pain on someone he claims to love
The mother of his children
someone who he vowed to take care of and protect against all odd

why are some men domestic abusers and why do others think it's cool to hit a woman if she misbehaves

Please ask question if you don't know.

In case you need explanation, I will help you in debt.

Thank you.

PaperLace:


I have been married short enough to know that there are days you'll do or say something that you'll regret. In such cases, even if it's as severe as infidelity or beating _I will forgive.


1. I am against people who think violence is the way to put a verbally abusive wife/spouse in place.
2. People who think verbal abuse is exclusive to women, and physical abuse to men.
3. People who are deluded into thinking only women are annoying in marriage. You get to see comments like "women are very annoying", "women are stubborn". Who isn't annoying/stubborn in marriage?

Majority of these people knew what they were getting into. Just like I knew my spouse has a caustic mouth. Marriage makes you discover that these tiny faults are not that easy to live with, that's when they start beating each other _if they are not patient or smart enough to explore other means of curtailing the aggressor's excesses.


If you marry a spouse with such record on your own volition, it's up to you to have a correctional plan for them, this plan shouldn't include violence. People don't just develop these traits, the signs are always there.

The highlighted is spot on. I have said it severally that pre-marriage classes should be restructured. Practical solutions to possible marital issues. These solutions should be professional, not religious.

Preach @ the bolded,

Let them continue to look for ways to justify their bad behaviour. No body should lay a hand on anyone except in cases of self defense

I yet to see any man who has a big, muscular, very strong wife or maybe a woman who he knows will beat him to the ground if he tries to lay his hand on her beat his wife, no matter how bad what she says is, never have I seen such cases, ( I stand to be corrected), they know the type of wife they can prey on.

posters on this nairaland make me so sad/annoyed when I see some type of comments regarding certain topics

Sterope:
Keep pulling up facts from thin air. Co.pareing apples and oranges seems to be your thing. It is not mine.

1. Domestic abuse has always been the norm not the exception until the past few years. Respect or not, your grandmother or greatgrndmother was battered by your grandfather or great-grandfather. Go ask around. It was part of life for them, it would be unusual for a woman to complain about abuse unless it was the extreme kind. So yes, women respected their husbands and they still got the cane in return.

2. You cannot compare the cockroach population to that of today. The population has grown tremendously. I don't think I need to expantiate.

3. We didn't have much divorce primarily because of the backlash from the society. Nowadays, people can't be bothered. They have aspirations and there is no way in hell society is going to stop it. Given what these women went through, most of your old respectful women would choose divorce if they had the choice. You need to hear then when they lament and it is that same mouth that they will use to insult women who choose not to suffer like they did.

Basically, you cannot tell me life then was better for women because they respected (whatever your meant by respect) their husbands. You know nothing about them or their lives. You have chosen the narrative that even your father and grandfather would disagree with. I didn't choose mine, I heard and read mine from people who would tell you to your face that there is no way a man won't beat his wife. You read that right.

Keep denying the fact.
You can bury your head in the sand all you want.

Since you will not listen to sound advice, you can do the below:
Be rude and disrespectful to your husband. Be impatient and unloving to your wife.
That will give you a very settled home.

Your marriage your business

tosyne2much:
Sighs!

Just sigh when your wife annoys you Tosyne, it's a whole lot better than beating her .

Daeylar:


Preach @ the bolded,

Let them continue to look for ways to justify their bad behaviour. No body should lay a hand on anyone except in cases of self defense

I yet to see any man who has a big, muscular, very strong wife or maybe a woman who he knows will beat him to the ground if he tries to lay his hand on her beat his wife, no matter how bad what she says is, never have I seen such cases, ( I stand to be corrected), they know the type of wife they can prey on.

posters on this nairaland make me so sad/annoyed when I see some type of comments regarding certain topics

Well, you know evil doers will always have a justification for every in the real sense of it. These justification(s) are somehow not enough _ when carefully examined.

We'll definitely get there. With time, male and female alike would realise violence only gets you feared, not respected. That's if it doesn't land you in jail.

Keep changing narrative, lying about what happened in the past. Thank God our mothers are still alive.



You are right. My marriage, my business.

Iamzik:


Keep denying the fact.
You can bury your head in the sand all you want.

Since you will not listen to sound advice, you can do the below:
Be rude and disrespectful to your husband. Be impatient and unloving to your wife.
That will give you a very settled home.

Your marriage your business

eyinjuege:
To those saying she must have deserved the beating, and not condemning the violence, I hope when you see the story of a woman pouring hot oil/water, using a knife to cut off a husband's joystick /stabbing him, using a pestle to rearrange his destiny / putting poison in his meal etc you will also say he deserved it, and not condemn the act of violence.

I wonder how you expect a sane society to function if violence against anyone is supported and not put in check.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying, but getting violent on anyone should be a no-no, talkless of someone close to you.. Everyone is annoying in a marriage. Is it in terms of infidelity? Saying hurtful things to one's spouse ( Thats not only a woman's thing, I've seen a lot of cases where a man will say something so hurtful the woman will feel like committing suicide), spending money meant for the home/children on frivolous things like parties, clothes, girlfriends etc.
That doesn't mean we should endorse any form of violence. It's first and foremost against the law, even if you don't believe in humanity.
It's criminal and should never be endorsed.
I hope law enforcement will take it up anyway, since the victim has come out and complained of a crime carried out against her person.

I never endorsed this shameful action in anyway. You may read my previous posts.

No one is perfect and our characters are flawed. A little understanding and forbearing one another can help avoid this kind of sad tale.

Someone must lead with love and the other must submit to his leading. When both husband and wife want to lead, there is no follower, no direction, anarchy is the result. Each must know his role and limits. I still maintain that mutual love and respect will always win the day.

Many bring their pride into Marriage. If both husband and wife will learn humility, learn how to say sorry/thank you..... Simple stuff like that can avert big quarrels like this.

I still don't support any form of physical abuse. No No

PaperLace:


Just sigh when your wife annoys you Tosyne, it's a whole lot better than beating her .

I don't support wife beating nah. Can't even beat my gf let alone my wife

LordOfNaira:
I am enjoying the conversation here. As a medical doctor and a psychotherapist, these discussions hold a lot for me.

Well done, PaperLace, but I do believe that you feel life is as easy as you make it. Well, we professionals know it is not in all cases. Sometimes, the victims may have mental disorders like bipolar disorder or narcissistic personality disorder and the husband may be unaware because their marriage counselor is a pastor and not a professional. A man who marries a woman with narcissistic personality disorder is likely to beat her one day if he does not quickly walk away. Same goes for a woman who marries a man with narcissistic personality disorder. She is likely to become so battered emotionally and physically if she does not quickly seperate herself from him. Having given therapies to a lot of people, I can confidently tell you that not every man who became violent liked it. Some of them only did it once and regret it for a long time. Take for instance, a gentleman who marries this beautiful woman without knowing that she has narcissistic personality disorder. She begins to frustrate his life by throwing blames, abusing his parents whenever she feels like, is so jealous that she wants him to only work with males even though he is not the owner of the company where he works, slaps him and does not expect to be hit back and then one day, he defends himself. And one thing with people with narcissistic personality disorder is their ability to make you feel guilty in order to continue to manipulate you and make you feel worthless without them. So, the day you hit them (even if they have been hitting you for years), they would surely play the victim's card and then they will nag you everyday to make you feel bad for ever daring to stand up to their manipulation. I can tell you that there are men going through frustrations like these. Just as there are women going through same. Cases like these are sometimes unique that it is difficult to judge them. The one that came to social media first might have even been the aggressor.

What He / She said!

MissRaine69:

I am loyal
Just because the road is rocky it does not mean I bail
I will endure it
Gooner till I cease to be

Doctors prescription o

PaperLace:


I have been married short enough to know that there are days you'll do or say something that you'll regret. In such cases, even if it's as severe as infidelity or beating _I will forgive.

1. I am against people who think violence is the way to put a verbally abusive wife/spouse in place.
2. People who think verbal abuse is exclusive to women, and physical abuse to men.
3. People who are deluded into thinking only women are annoying in marriage. You get to see comments like "women are very annoying", "women are stubborn". Who isn't annoying/stubborn in marriage?

Majority of these people knew what they were getting into. Just like I knew my spouse has a caustic mouth. Marriage makes you discover that these tiny faults are not that easy to live with, that's when they start beating each other _if they are not patient or smart enough to explore other means of curtailing the aggressor's excesses.

If you marry a spouse with such record on your own volition, it's up to you to have a correctional plan for them, this plan shouldn't include violence. People don't just develop these traits, the signs are always there.

The highlighted is spot on. I have said it severally that pre-marriage classes should be restructured. Practical solutions to possible marital issues. These solutions should be professional, not religious.

I like these.

But please, don't assume that traits can't be learnt. Don't also assume that all traits can be observed.

People with narcissistic personality disorder are the masters of pretence. They are usually the sweetest guys until you have been sucked in. I am not supporting domestic violence but I am just contributing to an argument.

It is not unusual for a woman to be stubborn or assertive. It is the African culture that makes it look like an assertive woman is a stubborn woman that needs to be tamed. But that is not my argument here. My problem with your post is the fixation on your confidence that there are ways to deal with a woman without touching her. Your confidence is there because you feel that the worst a woman can be is to be stubborn or caustic and you feel you already have an easy solution to that which puts you way above wife beaters. My point however is that all cases are unique and except you have witnessed all cases, you should not condemn too quickly. There is a certain guy whom I gave therapy. I am working on a book where I will share stories of people who have been in toxic relationships. It is not just about being in a relationship with a woman who has a caustic mouth or a woman who is viewed as stubborn. Being in a relationship with a toxic person is one of the most frustrating thing in the world. And people react differently to it. Some walk away battered. Let me give you an instance of how bad. When I was working in a neuro psychiatric hospital in the Caribbeans, I had a patient who wanted to kill himself. He told me how frustrating his wife had been. I asked him if he had ever beaten her. He said "of course, no, doc. I can never beat my wife." He never beat his wife but he was however not nonviolent because while he wouldn't beat his wife, the aggression was channeled inwards (Suicide). Now, can you think such height of frustration is just due to just having a woman with a harmless caustic tongue or a stubborn woman? However, the wife was soon diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Their marriage crashed and she had two other husbands later. One of them went to jail for beating her into coma.

So, I believe cases like these are hard to judge using the cliche "violence is not the only way"

Of course, violence is not the only way. But judging quickly is also not the only way. It allows even aggressors to run quickly to social media. My solution to these problems would be in my book which would soon be out. LOL.

WORDWORLD:


My dear, and how many times did the Prophet who Muslims are meant to emulate beat his own wives. CAN YOU COME UP WITH ANY EVIDENCE AS TO SUCH?!

Should we open a thread me and you alone so we discuss this INDEPTHLY?!

Evaberry how are you even sure he is a Muslim to start with? 'Samaila Zakari'

ur question should be, did Mohammed asked Muslims to beat thier wives? At what age did Mohammed married Aisha? So don't confuse us, Mohammed piss be upon him

%

ItsMeAboki:


Its a pity, some of them can't wait to expose their shameful bigotry and ignorance at the same time.

Its the world we are living in today and more than ever before where people despise each other and dont want us to live in peace. The first persons who posted this for the eyes of the world seeking for justice are by name ABDULMUMIN SULEIMAN and then MUHAMMED BABA i assume they are Muslims seeking for justice their names infact is more Islamic than 'Samaila Zakari'. I hope you get my point. People deviate from the core of ISSUES and choke in sentiments. Our world is so in a chaos because of mentalities such as hers which is so FULL of PREJUDICE. I love peace and i love peaceful people. People like them are without understanding and are not willing to grow.