Years ago, I told my husband to go for his PGD and MSC but he blatantly refused with one excuse or the other, l ran to my parents, his parents and everybody I know but I was labelled a nag.
Now appointments were made and he was denied due to his result (Third class), his boss told me that personally that Third class graduates cannot be considered (it's a rule).
This hurt me so much because I recall how I ran everywhere asking people to help me tell him to go back to school, his sister and friend that always tell him I'm a witch and I don't mean well for him they've started their MSC.
I am so devastated to hear this, his friend even asked my husband to be his reference, I am so angry because this man does not want to do anything meaningful with his life.
A grown ass man will just be playing games all day, he is good with this DJ stuff, I told him let us set up that but no he won't accept.
I believe he is cursed because I can't believe someone can be this stupid, oyaaaaaa...my mom introduced him to her business but no he won't go out and hustle, all he does is play games and womanize.
He is ten years older than me and I earn less than him but I started a little business with my salary, bought two cars, furnished our home and take care of our kids.
He has nothing to show for all the money he has earned working, all he has is shoes and clothes.
I strongly believe there is a curse somewhere, please what more can I do.
I don't want my children to grow up seeing him like this. I'm worried

first thing is not to insult him, you saw something in him before you married him. secondly and most important, you need to be more prayerful. bishop abioye of living fFaith Church winners wld say fasting is demonstration in desperation, so not to go running to any man of GOD, settle down and pray. it's our month of supernatural breakthrough, am inviting you to any living Faith Church, attend and see Wat GOD will do for u in dis month. congratulations in advance, GOD bless u

the prayer warrior. above me should continue.We can't just just continue to bang the throne of Grace/Mercy with prayer.A dull child failed his exam,u blame one old mama from ur village as the architecture of ur misfortune.Do u knw how the man struggle and managed to grad with dat 3rd class?U knw how many E,D,F,F carryovers b4 one bald prof Janduku let him GO?U expect peep like dat to go for MA/MSC?. MA/PGD nor be moinmoin.Dnt be deceive by pali,those without. PHD,etc are making wave un their respective job.Urs is to sit down and have heart 2 heart discussion. Reporting him to baba/mama won't solve anything. Wish u well

Just be a good role model to your children so they don't turn out like him. As for him you cannot teach an old dog new tricks so you have to learn to accommodate him like that.

Nutase:
Just be a good role model to your children so they don't turn out like him. As for him you cannot teach an old dog new tricks so you have to learn to accommodate him like that.

And have a dream...a goal ...to at least show your children an exemplary life

I pity that man. Not just because he's not doing anything useful with his life(according to you) but because if you can insult and thrash him like this on a public forum then only the gods can tell what he's getting from you at home.

You have a business, you've got cash to give your children a future so technically you're the man of the house so deal with it.

Men have been dealing with scenarios like this since the days of Adam. What some women do is go to their husband's office or shop, spend few hours, go home, cook and watch Telemundo until their husband returns at night for sex and their husbands are not crying foul.

I thought you people claim to be capable of doing anything a man can do? Even better.
Good, the role is being reversed so deal with, divorce or self terminate.





I am not in any way trying to support him or his lazy ass but I really hate to see people useless their partner in public, bet it online of offline.

Babes, I pity you. I can only imagine how tough it is to be married to a man without drive. The men here will come for your head for daring to wish he would do more with his life.

Anyways, I think you really need to wake up to your responsibilities and totally stop trying to make him do stuffs. One day, in the not so distance future, he would realize just how lost his cause his and sit up. Quit the insults, quit the nags. He will soon realize.

BTW, I hope you've been separating your ventures... I don't trust men who allow a woman take the financial leads in the family. Whew!

ginikagreene:
Years ago, I told my husband to go for his PGD and MSC but he blatantly refused with one excuse or the other, l ran to my parents, his parents and everybody I know but I was labelled a nag.
Now appointments were made and he was denied due to his result (Third class), his boss told me that personally that Third class graduates cannot be considered (it's a rule).
This hurt me so much because I recall how I ran everywhere asking people to help me tell him to go back to school, his sister and friend that always tell him I'm a witch and I don't mean well for him they've started their MSC.
I am so devastated to hear this, his friend even asked my husband to be his reference, I am so angry because this man does not want to do anything meaningful with his life.
A grown ass man will just be playing games all day, he is good with this DJ stuff, I told him let us set up that but no he won't accept.
I believe he is cursed because I can't believe someone can be this stupid, oyaaaaaa...my mom introduced him to her business but no he won't go out and hustle, all he does is play games and womanize.
He is ten years older than me and I earn less than him but I started a little business with my salary, bought two cars, furnished our home and take care of our kids.
He has nothing to show for all the money he has earned working, all he has is shoes and clothes.
I strongly believe there is a curse somewhere, please what more can I do.
I don't want my children to grow up seeing him like this. I'm worried

You need to have a deep conversation with your husband. You should ask him what are his plans and ambition in life? How he intends to achieve it? Tell him you are ready to stand by him and support his ambition in as much as you can see the drive and passion to fulfill his ambition. I am sure when you do that, he will open up to you about what he really wants in life. It is not compulsory that he must enroll for PGD/MSC if he doesn't want it. Also, your husband graduating with third class honours is not an obstacle in being successful.

HRHQueenPhil:
first thing is not to insult him, you saw something in him before you married him. secondly and most important, you need to be more prayerful. bishop abioye of living fFaith Church winners wld say fasting is demonstration in desperation, so not to go running to any man of GOD, settle down and pray. it's our month of supernatural breakthrough, am inviting you to any living Faith Church, attend and see Wat GOD will do for u in dis month. congratulations in advance, GOD bless u

Thank you

ipobarecriminals:
the prayer warrior. above me should continue.We can't just just continue to bang the throne of Grace/Mercy with prayer.A dull child failed his exam,u blame one old mama from ur village as the architecture of ur misfortune.Do u knw how the man struggle and managed to grad with dat 3rd class?U knw how many E,D,F,F carryovers b4 one bald prof Janduku let him GO?U expect peep like dat to go for MA/MSC?. MA/PGD nor be moinmoin.Dnt be deceive by pali,those without. PHD,etc are making wave un their respective job.Urs is to sit down and have heart 2 heart discussion. Reporting him to baba/mama won't solve anything. Wish u well

My dear, the story is too long for me to finish it here...I have done everything cried, begged , asked, prayed etc..
I don't know what else.

Nutase:
Just be a good role model to your children so they don't turn out like him. As for him you cannot teach an old dog new tricks so you have to learn to accommodate him like that.

I believe this is what the mother did with the dad and see the impact on her son..this is what I'm scared of, my children growing to believe the woman is a breadwinner..
This is the exact scenario growing up and look at what he is doing now, I am also forced to think this is a generational curse.

Kondomatic:
I pity that man. Not just because he's not doing anything useful with his life(according to you) but because if you can insult and thrash him like this on a public forum then only the gods can tell what he's getting from you at home.

You have a business, you've got cash to give your children a future so technically you're the man of the house so deal with it.

Men have been dealing with scenarios like this since the days of Adam. What some women do is go to their husband's office or shop, spend few hours, go home, cook and watch Telemundo until their husband returns at night for sex and their husbands are not crying foul.

I thought you people claim to be capable of doing anything a man can do? Even better.
Good, the role is being reversed so deal with, divorce or self terminate.





I am not in any way trying to support him or his lazy ass but I really hate to see people useless their partner in public, bet it online of offline.

What are you saying? Do you think I like this?
I won't wish for this to happen to my enemy.
Thank you anyway

ginikagreene:


I believe this is what the mother did with the dad and see the impact on her son..this is what I'm scared of, my children growing to believe the woman is a breadwinner..
This is the exact scenario growing up and look at what he is doing now, I am also forced to think this is a generational curse.

That's why you need to consciously imbibe it in your sons. Children learn by observation and also hearing. Teach them what is right when they come of age so they don't grow believing a man should depend on a woman.

sisisioge:
Babes, I pity you. I can only imagine how tough it is to be married to a man without drive. The men here will come for your head for daring to wish he would do more with his life.

Anyways, I think you really need to wake up to your responsibilities and totally stop trying to make him do stuffs. One day, in the not so distance future, he would realize just how lost his cause his and sit up. Quit the insults, quit the nags. He will soon realize.

BTW, I hope you've been separating your ventures... I don't trust men who allow a woman take the financial leads in the family. Whew!

My dear, people don't understand but it is well.
He has lost his respect in my sight, I don't really care about what he does with his life. I am just worried about the impact it will have on my children.

You have finished his case already; what advice do you want again?
If you'll hear and really want him to change, i have these few words for you.
1. You need to be humble like seriously; your success is getting into your head & to humility, add submission as a wife and Despite his flaws, he still need to be respected.
2. You need to take his case to God with all seriousness; the heart of a man is in God's hand and God can chamge him for good if you believe.
3. Communicate with him; not nagging him down. To do this, you need no.1(humility and submission). Learn to communicate with him and reach his soul and while doing that, you can then start talking about those goals....in addition, stop "moving alone". Marriage should be a journey of two; not 1.

Anybody can condemn him especially based on what you share up there, but he isnt here to hear the truth or advice....so the ball lies only in your court!

ginikagreene:


My dear, people don't understand but it is well.
He has lost his respect in my sight, I don't really care about what he does with his life. I am just worried about the impact it will have on my children.

I was going to say I understand your plight, and offer you some words of advice until I saw this:

ginikagreene:
I'm a married lady but I'm lonely, I need a man and since my husband has neglected me I have decided to put myself out there.
If you're interested, send me a mail.

https://www.nairaland.com/3942879/married-lonely#58779806

Bunch of jokers everywhere.

ginikagreene:


My dear, the story is too long for me to finish it here...I have done everything cried, begged , asked, prayed etc..
I don't know what else.

u don't need to worry urself.He'll surely change his wayward lifestyle. if he's academically sound,he'll grabbed that PDG.Let me tell u this,he's not the only one (married /grad)wasting their life/time playing gamble.Stop reporting him to anybody,don't allow his family to Kal u winch/caused of his misfortune /I'll luck

ginikagreene:
Years ago, I told my husband to go for his PGD and MSC but he blatantly refused with one excuse or the other, l ran to my parents, his parents and everybody I know but I was labelled a nag.
Now appointments were made and he was denied due to his result (Third class), his boss told me that personally that Third class graduates cannot be considered (it's a rule).
This hurt me so much because I recall how I ran everywhere asking people to help me tell him to go back to school, his sister and friend that always tell him I'm a witch and I don't mean well for him they've started their MSC.
I am so devastated to hear this, his friend even asked my husband to be his reference, I am so angry because this man does not want to do anything meaningful with his life.
A grown ass man will just be playing games all day, he is good with this DJ stuff, I told him let us set up that but no he won't accept.
I believe he is cursed because I can't believe someone can be this stupid, oyaaaaaa...my mom introduced him to her business but no he won't go out and hustle, all he does is play games and womanize.
He is ten years older than me and I earn less than him but I started a little business with my salary, bought two cars, furnished our home and take care of our kids.
He has nothing to show for all the money he has earned working, all he has is shoes and clothes.
I strongly believe there is a curse somewhere, please what more can I do.
I don't want my children to grow up seeing him like this. I'm worried

can we get to talk personally?

EfemenaXY:


I was going to say I understand your plight, and offer you some words of advice until I saw this:



Bunch of jokers everywhere.

Madam judgina.... Innocent odinkemelu..... Clap for ur sef..... This is all you can say to a distressed woman.... A woman like u... Smh.

You can see that she is disturbed by her husband's nonchalant attitude... I bet the husband does not even have time for her and her kids... So yes she is distressed hence the need she is seeking for friends online..... Stop judging her... Advise her or stfu.


@op...the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to marry a lazy, docile, uncaring man... A man that doesn't care about what people say or how his family feeds is worse than a responsible woman beater... My beloved mom will always say one should marry someone that has a little bit of shame.... It's worse when ur spouse is shameless and doesn't give a hoot how people perceive him.

Your husband is so so far gone and it will take the grace of God to make him responsible....just focus on your kids and get a nice boyfriend that lives like 13miles from your home... You deserve to be happy... Make urself happy... Life is meant to be enjoyed.. Not endured.

Op you seem to be doing very well for yourself. From your "small business" you have bought two cars and furnished the home and trained ur kids. Why don't you go ahead being a shining star of a woman and be thankful that the 'curse ' no reach your side.
Some baggages are just too heavy to drag along

aro1:
can we get to talk personally?

Ni backyard deal.Tell her here.Abi u wan take style snatch her and fraudulently collect her 2 cars,money, enter em and RUNZ em VAMOOSE.Fear GOD

[s]

coolcatty:


Madam judgina.... Innocent odinkemelu..... Clap for ur sef..... This is all you can say to a distressed woman.... A woman like u... Smh.

You can see that she is disturbed by her husband's nonchalant attitude... I bet the husband does not even have time for her and her kids... So yes she is distressed hence the need she is seeking for friends online..... Stop judging her... Advise her or stfu.


@op...the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to marry a lazy, docile, uncaring man... A man that doesn't care about what people say or how his family feeds is worse than a responsible woman beater... My beloved mom will always say one should marry someone that has a little bit of shame.... It's worse when ur spouse is shameless and doesn't give a hoot how people perceive him.

Your husband is so so far gone and it will take the grace of God to make him responsible....just focus on your kids and get a nice boyfriend that lives like 13miles from your home... You deserve to be happy... Make urself happy... Life is meant to be enjoyed.. Not endured.

[/s] And You've made zero sense. You actually write like a tout.

ipobarecriminals:
Ni backyard deal.Tell her here.Abi u wan take style snatch her and fraudulently collect her 2 cars,money, enter em and RUNZ em VAMOOSE.Fear GOD

bro,nt everybody is criminal minded.. thanks!

chief priest Aro1, nor mind me.

aro1:
bro,nt everybody is criminal minded.. thanks!

tell her ur own here not backyard talk.Abi u have special mixture otumophor u want give her?

A person's reluctance to further his education does not make the person lazy, a persons reluctance to take UR biz idea does not also make the person lazy.
I for one, I'm not a fan of heaping academic degrees, and I have turned down several offers to participate in a business venture for my reasons. I'll hate myself if I had a wife who will judge me by such standards.
UR husband is working not a sit-at-home and he is playing his manly role in the home, yet you brought him to an online forum to have random fellows disparage him, very sad indeed.
What you should ask is his vision for d future and not everybody is working towards having 30 billion in their account. I won't be surprise if he was even the one that provided the money youbstarted your business with.
Your husband may not be a perfect person, but judging by your current and past post he is very unfortunate to have you as a wife. Please do him the favour of divorcing him for a "more ambitious" man

OP I was going to offer you an advice based on this post till I checked out your previous post " married but lonely "

I have also checked your choice of words too. Also note that no one has heard from your husband so this is really the issue with " A one sided story".

You maybe right in your assertions and intentions but you are indeed a nag. Your approach can never get your husband to act or dance to your tune. Didn't you know he loves games and that he is a jolly good fellow when you agreed to marry him? Must everyone aspire to be Dangote before enjoying this short life?

Abeg free the man joor, if you can't be a wife to him, free him as that's what has always beenbon your mind.
The boyfriend or man friend you will get as you are looking for will still get tired of your nagging and run away after digging your well deeper again.

Enjoy your husband and stop trying to tell him how to run his life as if he is a slowpoke.

Lol@ Efemena. Thanks for exposing this fraud.

Please stop forcing your husband to further his education. You knew he had a third class when you agreed to marry him, so deal with it. The more pressure you place on him, the bigger his failures.

I have turned down many ideas, he has a right to turn down yours too, and everything must not go your own way. Besides, why mounting pressures on a third class holder to pursue PGD/M.Sc ? You really think the PGD will land him a first class slot or a lecturing job? Better stop deceiving yourself. M.Sc will not erase certain facts.. Just so you know, people fail Masters programme as well. In fact, more people fail year in year out, so don't go wasting your little resources on a fruitless venture.

I'm sure the next thing would be to force him to travel abroad... at the end of the day, you spend 70% of your life doing nothing and running helter skelter.

Your husband is only displaying and acting his PERSONALITY. It is a personality thing and no amount of disturbances can change that. Some people are very OKAY with 1 car, 1 small house, a small job with a happy family. Not everyone wants to become the next Dangote. Put pressure on him or compare him with friends and watch him sink further... Be wise woman! You can change everything, but not a man's personality.

Even if he had gotten the job, with this type of attitude he would have still lost it

Hmm

You can force a horse to the river but can't force it to drink
One thing I can't stand and loath is a shameless man, the one that has no foresight, even with the lack of any meaningful contributions to the home they would still demand four pieces of meat and fight for the remote lol.

People have problems, people go through years of trying times but when you you refuse to fight and press hard no one will do it for you

Madam please stop reporting him, stop forcing him to do anything. He has chosen how he wants to live his life no amount of nagging can bring back a dead man.
The way I see it all those things he is doing is just a means of escape from the reality that his life is going down the drain.
We can't undo what has been done, but we can make sure history doesn't repeat itself.
When you pray don't pray for him to change pray for wisdom on how to deal with him so that peace can reign in your home. Pray for wisdom on how to teach your Children not to follow their dad's footsteps.
.
Make sure your Children take up all the houses chores teach them to cook clean and order basic stuff. When they are less busy yell them to Come help you at the shop, teach them how to manage money wisely (not giving into all their whims), teach them how to save, how to think independently, how to be hard working and resilient. You are their father and mother right now, and I believe you can do it, as there are many single moms out there who raised children who went on to be successful.



At this point in time I think it is better to just count your blessings and name them one by one.

Whether you like it or not sometimes a living dog is better than a dead lion. Think of the good parts in him. There should be something. And concentrate on it.

The irony of life is there are cases of women who are married to men who through very ambitious are married to their jobs and who are very sadistic, they don't fail to rub their successes in their wives faces and remind her of how she is just an Indian rubber stamp at home to bear children.

Alexk2:
You have finished his case already; what advice do you want again?
If you'll hear and really want him to change, i have these few words for you.
1. You need to be humble like seriously; your success is getting into your head & to humility, add submission as a wife and Despite his flaws, he still need to be respected.
2. You need to take his case to God with all seriousness; the heart of a man is in God's hand and God can chamge him for good if you believe.
3. Communicate with him; not nagging him down. To do this, you need no.1(humility and submission). Learn to communicate with him and reach his soul and while doing that, you can then start talking about those goals....in addition, stop "moving alone". Marriage should be a journey of two; not 1.

Anybody can condemn him especially based on what you share up there, but he isnt here to hear the truth or advice....so the ball lies only in your court!

My brother, thank you for the message... The wife in question is telling a lot of lies...

ginikagreene:
Years ago, I told my husband to go for his PGD and MSC but he blatantly refused with one excuse or the other, l ran to my parents, his parents and everybody I know but I was labelled a nag.
Now appointments were made and he was denied due to his result (Third class), his boss told me that personally that Third class graduates cannot be considered (it's a rule).
This hurt me so much because I recall how I ran everywhere asking people to help me tell him to go back to school, his sister and friend that always tell him I'm a witch and I don't mean well for him they've started their MSC.
I am so devastated to hear this, his friend even asked my husband to be his reference, I am so angry because this man does not want to do anything meaningful with his life.
A grown ass man will just be playing games all day, he is good with this DJ stuff, I told him let us set up that but no he won't accept.
I believe he is cursed because I can't believe someone can be this stupid, oyaaaaaa...my mom introduced him to her business but no he won't go out and hustle, all he does is play games and womanize.
He is ten years older than me and I earn less than him but I started a little business with my salary, bought two cars, furnished our home and take care of our kids.
He has nothing to show for all the money he has earned working, all he has is shoes and clothes.
I strongly believe there is a curse somewhere, please what more can I do.
I don't want my children to grow up seeing him like this. I'm worried

I have just seen the level of your maturity... Telling only your side of the story... Leaving out how you have made his home a living hell... I m just seeing this, I should have responded a long time ago. "He plays games and womanizes"!!!(lame)... U think u can take me here and crucify me? To gain what Pity U earn less indeed... The loan he is paying has not been brought to the fore, even with that, he still struggles to provide food... God bless u o... #StealthMode