Lawrence and Esther got married three years ago. Lawrence is a quantity surveyor while Esther is a nurse. When they got married in 2014, Lawrence was managing as a Quantity Surveyor with a facility managing company in Lagos on a meagre pay of 40k per month while Esther has been working with a Lagos State maternity since 2010, she earned more than double of her Hubby's pay. When they got married, the issue of joint account came up after they attended a family seminar in a church where the wife of the presiding pastor advocated joint account for couples. Esther told her husband it's not a good idea at that time. They lived peacefully together until Lawrence secured a better job in one of the foreign missions in Victoria Island. The pay is now close to half a million per month. All of a sudden, Esther now came up with the idea joint account between couples, stating all the advantages. Her husband has consistently reminded her that she was against joint account few years ago. This is causing serious issues among them to the extent that she complained to her Hubby's friends including my humble self on how her husband have failed to carry to carry her along on how he spends his money, how he spends lavishly on his family, and particularly how he bought a car for his uncle. Lawrence said this uncle sponsored his university education and he only show appreciation now that the uncle is retired from the service of LASG by buying a Nigeria used big daddy Camry for him when he has to hop from cab to danfo whenever his wife who is still working drives their only Primera car to work. I see Esther's attitude as pure selfishness, here is a woman who did not disclose how much she earned to her husband until early 2017 when he secured the embassy job. Lawrence is insisting that he will continue to pay the bills of the family as he has been doing since the got married in 2014, his wife also claimed she was contributing her quota as a supportive wife which Lawrence did not deny but insisted joint account to him is unacceptable now that he earns better. What is this joint account thing? Is it applicable to couples only when the husband earns more than the wife as Esther is making us to believe?

Chronicles of a bad wife.

He should just support her from the salary too.. I guess she will keep quiet

Esther is a thief, Lawrence should claim that his salary has been slashed into quarter, he married a longer throat wife and should not totally to open to that kind of wife. he should look for a way to convince her he isn't earning as much as he used to.

case closed.

Sometimes this marriage thing get scary sometimes with the devils that keeps masking as wives.

Selfishness everywhere... If the person who u share the same loins with is this selfish then there is problem

darlenese:
Esther is a thief, Lawrence should claim that his salary has been slashed into quarter, he married a longer throat wife and should not totally to open to that kind of wife. he should look for a way to convince her he isn't earning as much as he used to.

case closed.

Here is a woman who did not disclose her salary yo her husband, spends seriously on her own family and bought a corolla in 2015 without involving Lawrence o, her husband just believe their marriage must survive at all cost, I don't really understand what she stands to gain in a joint account when her husband is even going beyond normal to take care of her, their 2 kids and her extended family.

kennybabs1980:
Here is a woman who did not disclose her salary yo her husband, spends seriously on her own family and bought a corolla in 2015 without involving Lawrence o, her husband just believe their marriage must survive at all cost, I don't really understand what she stands to gain in a joint account when her husband is even going beyond normal to take care of her, their 2 kids and her extended family.

What she wanted is just to gain control of the man. She will curtail his expenditure and possibly prevent him from taking good care of his extended family. How can a woman complain about a little gesture shown by her husband to an uncle who sponsored his university education? That guy must stand his ground but use love to explain things to her and let her know she have nothing g to fear. Let me ask, have they built their own house?

Ok

[quote author=wwwkaycom post=60098772]What she wanted is just to gain control of the man. She will curtail his expenditure and possibly prevent him from taking good care of his extended family. How can a woman complain about a little gesture shown by her husband to an uncle who sponsored his university education? That guy must stand his ground but use love to explain things to her and let her know she have nothing g to fear. Let me ask, have they built their own house?

hmm.......thief trying to claim wise in your own relationship it is well by the way who is ronke from your story

wwwkaycom:
What she wanted is just to gain control of the man. She will curtail his expenditure and possibly prevent him from taking good care of his extended family. How can a woman complain about a little gesture shown by her husband to an uncle who sponsored his university education? That guy must stand his ground but use love to explain things to her and let her know she have nothing g to fear. Let me ask, have they built their own house?

They are presently developing a project at an estate in Mowe area of Ogun State, Lawrence told me she hasn't contribute a dime to the project.

Women!!!! !! This is laughable.
Tell him not to do any joint rubbish if she like make she shout tire na she sabi.

Raeynique:
hmm.......thief
trying to claim wise in your own relationship
it is well
by the way who is ronke from your story

Oh my bad! Edited pls. Its the same woman who bears that name too.

You need a lot of wisdom to live successfully with a woman. Many a times they could be irrational. Many churches preach this joint account thing, I always say it, there is no general formulae for successful marriage, it takes those involved, wife and husband to formulate their own formulae, it is a couple who have great understanding of themselves and can unreservedly submit to themselves that can practise joint account, Lawrence should find ways of carrying his wife along even without joint account for peace to reign in that home.

If iam the man,I will just tell her not to talk about joint account again in her life


And that's the end

I will have to be blunt about what I got to say.
If all what you wrote is nothing but the truth ( God forgive me) @op, tell the man not to open any thing that start with capital letter Jo---, not to talk of completing the spelling.
We women can be selfish at times. Life is give and take, if you cant give freely thenon no account should you demand for help from any one , that is what i believe.
I
Joint account ko, joint account ni.

That's why I advice marrying from rich homes, I could be wrong, buh marrying from rich homes reduces cases like this that the OP is talking about

haa...nkan be

@OP:

The wife wants a joint account now that the husband is earning more.

I want to get the picture:
What kind of home do they currently run? Does the wife believe the husband should be responsible for everything financial whether he earned less or not? Does the husband believe the wife should be responsible for taking care of the home irrespective of her schedule? In essence do they believe in the traditional method of marriage?

If yes, then the wife is well within her rights to demand for a joint account or her concern: more access/ overview to her husband's money; it is his duty. However, as the wife has proven not to care much for his family, they can have a project account where they both contribute an agreed ratio to run the home. The husband should also carry his wife along when he wants to do something for his family outside the project account.

E.g.: Husband earns N500k monthly and wife earns N150k....

In the project account, they can have N200k monthly to run the home (rent, feeding, clothes, school fees, utilities etc) i.e. (N150k from him & 50k from her).

The husband has N350k and wife N100k monthly to themselves; this is where they save, help relatives, buy whatever they fancy etc.

If the hubby wants to buy anything for a relative, mention in passing and do it; it is his money.... Ditto the wife.

If the wife proves to be a spendthrift, then reduce the money in the project account and use the rest for other bills.

Goodluck.

Is anyone surprised? Its in the nature of women to be selfish. Sometimes for good reasons.
For her premature mind she would be thinking that as he now earns more, women would flock around him and he thus would spend on them. The moment a woman tries to put a leash in her man, thats the moment she begins to loose him.
I'd advice that they indeed have a joint account, into which they contribute a fraction of their salaries, say 10% monthly.
Whatever he does with the rest of the money is up to him.

Ok

Frenchfriez:
Is anyone surprised? Its in the nature of women to be selfish. Sometimes for good reasons.
For her premature mind she would be thinking that as he now earns more, women would flock around him and he thus would spend on them. The moment a woman tries to put a leash in her man, thats the moment she begins to loose him.
I'd advice that they indeed have a joint account, into which they contribute a fraction of their salaries, say 10% monthly.
Whatever he does with the rest of the money is up to him.

those sentiments or paranoia of women running after him if he has more money is usually turns out to be true hence some women prefer their menbto be broke because he will be unattractive to other women because rich men are like sugar to ants,no matter where you hide the sugar, the ants must surely creep in

dangotesmummy:
those sentiments or paranoia of women running after him if he has more money is usually turns out to be true hence some women prefer their menbto be broke because he will be unattractive to other women because rich men are like sugar to ants,no matter where you hide the sugar, the ants must surely creep in

I agree with you also, and indeed she knows her man better than we do. Perhaps he has the tendencies to give in to women who throw themselves at him.
Well, its good for her though, but some men don't necessarily loose their sense of responsibilities and commitment, even when they have all the women for their taking.
And I dare say that such action as this(of the woman) could irritate and provoke the man into untoward actions.

Frenchfriez:

I agree with you also, and indeed she knows her man better than we do. Perhaps he has the tendencies to give in to women who throw themselves at him.
Well, its good for her though, but some men don't necessarily loose their sense of responsibilities and commitment, even when they have all the women for their taking.
And I dare say that such action as this(of the woman) could irritate and provoke the man into untoward actions.

I remember jisting with a married woman in a business centre and she said she used to pray everyday that God should give her husband money,but one day she came into the house unexpectedly because she forgot th second keys to her shop sobshe had to quickly enter bike to rush back home and she was in the corridor when she was hearing her husband's voice jisting with his friend (a visitor that came to the house) that if he has money or if God blesses him with money he will date Cynthia because the babe dey bursty bla bla bla and the man was like ahan shebi your wife fine na,he said yes,she's a good woman though but she no too get burst the way Cynthia does.if he get money he go spend on women o.I like women.the only thing making me to face his wife is lack of adequate money as he would have loved to have


So the woman who was eaves dripping tip toed back outside so that her shoe will not make sound and now enters as though she was just coming in for the first time pretending not to hear their conversation

Immediately, the man and his friend changed topic when she walked in and said madam welcome o,I was just talking about you now with your husband, she too was smiling sheeepisly and said I hope its something good o,he said most definetly

They all laughed and she picked her keys and left

As soon as she got back to her shop,she made up her mind to change her prayer point to the direct opposite that God shouldn't give her husband money.she prefers him broke , forced to be faithful because of circumstances and them managing than for him to be financially comfortable and then he will be carrying black white,orobo,lepa etc about

She said anytime the husband prays before he goes out,especially about financial prosperity she goes back and counter it because Its obvious her husband has the propensity to cheat/back stab her


When she said everything I said its well,you know better than anyone what works for your family.

Since they were not doing joint account before and they have been living in peace, why should the adopt it now? Esther wants joint account now that her hubby is earning big because she feels insecure with this change of status. Let Lawrence find ways of reassuring his wife that everything is going to be alright and that she has nothing to fear. I for see problems in that home if they adopt joint account. The wife will become a monitor, wanting to approve every dime the man will spend and we all know men won't agree to that, it will lead to disaster.

dangotesmummy:
I remember jisting with a married woman in a business centre and she said she used to pray everyday that God should give her husband money,but one day she came into the house unexpectedly because she forgot th second keys to her shop sobshe had to quickly enter bike to rush back home and she was in the corridor when she was hearing her husband's voice jisting with his friend (a visitor that came to the house) that if he has money or if God blesses him with money he will date Cynthia because the babe dey bursty bla bla bla and the man was like ahan shebi your wife fine na,he said yes,she's a good woman though but she no too get burst the way Cynthia does.if he get money he go spend on women o.I like women.the only thing making me to face his wife is lack of adequate money as he would have loved to have


So the woman who was eaves dripping tip toed back outside so that her shoe will not make sound and now enters as though she was just coming in for the first time pretending not to hear their conversation

Immediately, the man and his friend changed topic when she walked in and said madam welcome o,I was just talking about you now with your husband, she too was smiling sheeepisly and said I hope its something good o,he said most definetly

They all laughed and she picked her keys and left

As soon as she got back to her shop,she made up her mind to change her prayer point to the direct opposite that God shouldn't give her husband money.she prefers him broke , forced to be faithful because of circumstances and them managing than for him to be financially comfortable and then he will be carrying black white,orobo,lepa etc about

She said anytime the husband prays before he goes out,especially about financial prosperity she goes back and counter it because Its obvious her husband has the propensity to cheat/back stab her


When she said everything I said its well,you know better than anyone what works for your family.

Na wa o.
I support the man in the op....to me the wife is selfish.

But this your own story weak me...even with sentiments it would be hard not to see the pain the woman carries....she try she no even confront her mumu husband.


but it would be better to confront the man and let his prayer for finance go to God...lol.

dangotesmummy:
I remember jisting with a married woman in a business centre and she said she used to pray everyday that God should give her husband money,but one day .......
When she said everything I said its well,you know better than anyone what works for your family.

Yeah its an open secret that many men have a high propensity to cheat, if the circumstances are just right. I also maintain that there are a few men out there who would not soil their dignity because of an innate desire to cheat, especially for the men who have tasted real money.
That lady you talked about is living in denial and the illusion of hope, for whatever god she prays to doesn't answer such prayers and its just a matter of time before he beds the busty Cynthias and the curvacious Bimbos. Cos let's be real with ourselves, you're a lady, you and I know that though money is a factor, but not a few women can opened their legs for less than money. Even the so-called 'expensive babes.
I get your drift though.

Frenchfriez:

Yeah its an open secret that many men have a high propensity to cheat, if the circumstances are just right. I also maintain that there are a few men out there who would not soil their dignity because of an innate desire to cheat, especially for the men who have tasted real money.
That lady you talked about is living in denial and the illusion of hope, for whatever god she prays to doesn't answer such prayers and its just a matter of time before he beds the busty Cynthias and the curvacious Bimbos. Cos let's be real with ourselves, you're a lady, you and I know that though money is a factor, but not a few women can opened their legs for less than money. Even the so-called 'expensive babes.
I get your drift though.

yeah

Dcholeric:

Na wa o.
I support the man in the op....to me the wife is selfish.

But this your own story weak me...even with sentiments it would be hard not to see the pain the woman carries....she try she no even confront her mumu husband.


but it would be better to confront the man and let his prayer for finance go to God...lol.

true though

I no even read am finish, I just burst out laughing........

I need to say this;

Ole!!!..

I would comment properly when I finish reading it...

Done reading it, my initial assertion still remains.

Ole..!!!

They can open a family account where they each put some money monthly, to be spent on the expenses at home
But she shouldn't have access to his salary account. Why should she anyway?
He can let her know how much he earns, but that doesnt mean she should have control over it. I'm of the strong belief that every person that earns should have control over their money.
Its the fruit of their labour.
Provided the man in question is prudent with his money, he should go ahead and continue as status quo. Of course, he should provide for his family, and they shouldn't lack. He should also invest, and leave an inheritance for his children