donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

Pls send this piece to my email abeg, l need am to motivate some stubboer peeps in ma family---apaul.abutu@yahoo.com
Happy married life in advance
Theses useless slay queens eyeing eyeing otedola, adenuga etc think thay married with billions. Listen to Oyedepo's testimony during his 60th birthday should teach our youths a lot, but no they are waiting for mayweather and anthony joshua to propose to them........TWALE
( You just made my day, seeing anoda like-minded dude........remember how some bitches here were shouting abt d impossibility of using N500 to prepare a pot of soup)
GOD BLESS YOU BIG TIME

princeeze1:
I am forced to respond to this thread, I work in a private firm, got married 2 yes ago on a 120k per month sal. Company restructured and slashed sal to 65k for me, mind you, those considered expendable lost their jobs. My wife, a student I am training, currently have a 1,year old son. Believe me we are not hungry.

How do we cope: a careful breakdown.
FOOD... We buy what we can consume every month end on this basis.
Rice-2 painter=#3600
Beans-1 painter=#1800
Garri-2panter=#1600
Yams. =#2000
Egg crate=#800
Red oil, big eva can =#900
G oil, same size. =#800
Ingredients, maggi, pepper, salt, onions etc=#1000
Total=#12500. Gas #2000 actually #1800 for 5kg bringing total to #14500

My son now eats adult food along golden morn
Golden morn 2 big pack=#1500
Milk...123 peak for kids 2=#1800
Usual drugs for children, bonabebe, paracetamol, cold drugs etc =#1500
Total=#4800

Actual cooking
We cook once in a month and stock in d freezer, all we need do everyday is boil rice and make EBA. Or rather cook yam porridge or yam n egg.
To cook soup, egusi and ogbon, Egusi 12cups is #1200, my wife also buys ogbono 1500,, tomato fruit and canned and fresh pepper for stew #1500.
Meat to cook all 3=#6000, other things she may buy like vegetables n kpomo etc#1000, total =#11200

Other bills
CTL cable TV #3200
Light =#1000
Waste mgt=500
Fuel for gen, 1k per WK=4000
My recharge n data=3000
Wify recharge n data=2000, I call more lol
Her hair and cream, I don't know her she partitions it is #4000
Total=#17700

Grand total is #48200, So I simply give her 50k monthly to pay for everything at the end of every month. And yes unless you are blind, you can see we are well covered, mind you she and not me drew up our new spending pattern, what a good wife should be able to do.

I save a mandatory 15000k every month, which is #180k per annum, I live in a 2 bedroom flat of 150k, with finance falling down, I simply rented out d guest room for 70k, call me greedy, mind you my guest room has no access to my living room and master room, I only share kitchen, now I only have to pay 80k per annum.
.I still have change.

I make bold to say we live very comfortably. Am I making plans to up my finances again YES. I only made this break down in support of op, from his breakdown, he may not live to even my now manageable standard, but he can, because he has focus.

Lastly we have a good ride, but mostly used socially and for church, I don't fuel or maintain my car from salary, occasional once in a while free cash maybe from office runs does that, everyone who works must have that loose free office change from one or two racket.

Moral.....
LIFE IS ABOUT VISION, WHOEVER CANNOT MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF 35K WILL MAKE NOTHING OUT OF 200K, BECAUSE THE HIGHER YOU GO, THE BIGGER YOUR TASTE. I CUT DOWN MY TASTE, WE HAD A PAID HOUSE MAID AND A LAUNDRY GUY TOO, COMBINE SALARY OF 25K, MY WIFE DOES THAT NOW, WE USED TO PUT ON GEN EVERY NIGHT THERE IS NO LIGHT, NOW UNLESS, THERE IS CONSECUTIVE OUTAGE, DUE TO FOOD IN D FRIDGE, NO NEED AND YES WE DO HAVE NEPA LIGHT AT LEAST 10 HOURS EVERYDAY, I USED TO DRIVE TO GO AND BUY ORDINARY AKARA, NO MORE, I USED TO BE AN OMELORA, NO MORE NOW.

IF YOU LACK FOCUS, YOUR EARNING POWER WILL STILL BE MEANINGLESS.

Good one Bro, though I don't like to criticize you but according to what you said, you earn 65k monthly though it was slashed. And you said you gave your wife 50k every month for normal stuffs buy also save 15k monthly. What about your transportation to your workplace... ...you forget to explain that.

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

nice, i admire your courage but please take down that "fools at 40" you dont have to hurl insults to make point. just like u said "different strokes....."

I hope you can pray....I hope you dey put this plan in your pray. Cc:donpata

shadeyinka:


Its not about his mistakes. At least, he is not a liability to people around. There is an illusion in having a faily high standard of living, whenkIts about the fact that we sometimes experience Bearish trends in our economy.

Some years back, I did a good business which turned bad and wiped out both my N2m investment and a serious debt which took me almost 3 years of hard labour and poverty to pay off. I was practically borrowing to feed myself. The experience made me to see that change in fortune can happen to anyone.

You have a point though

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

i am convinced you are born again and Igood fearing, I suscribe to your facts. Sincerely I believe you know what you are doing goodluck sir.

donpata:


Thats your opinion. i wear the shoe and know how it pinches. That's why i said, different stroke for different folks. read my intention well.

I really admire people with so much vision and clarity of purpose in their life pursuit. I am very optimistic that God will open doors of opportunities to you even as you go further in life.

I support your decision to get married on time. However, From my little experience of staying in the same house with my Elder brother as He welcomed his new born baby into this world, my perspective and exposure to the institution of marriage is more clearer.

One of the major points I will factor out in your post is your decision to raise a baby even as your fiancee will be planning to round up her University degree program. The cost of raising a healthy baby is not yam and infants are prone to numerous ailments. 35k will not be enough to save for the circumstances you don't plan for. You will pay for Antenatal Care. The Cost of DIAPERS AND WIPES is not small.
The thought of the discomfort you will cause to your wife as to carrying pregnancy and eventually feeding and caring for a baby while rounding up her degree program will be a daunting task and 35k will not be sufficient enough to hire a Nanny to help out while she face her studies.
It will be wise for you to allow her to finish her degree program before bringing a baby to the picture if you really love her and care for her welfare and you are not self-centered.
May God give you Wisdom even as my Bible emphasize that Wisdom is the Principal thing.h

Easier said than done. He has not included medical exegesis and all what not. Hmmm....I also marvel at the quality of home he hopes to raise. 35k...a wife...building project...Phd in view. He'll be extremely selfish and delusional and may end up becoming a nuisance to people who were patient and planned when he comes begging.

Aquariann:
From my time on Nairaland, I think the issue with most Nairalanders is that most of them are city dwelling. i.e they are mostly found in (or live in) Lagos, Ogun, Abuja, PH, Benin, Asaba, Owerri, Calabar etc.

The general cost of living in these places always affects their perspectives and sense of judgement about life in Nigeria generally.

For example, because N1000 can't cook a decent pot of soup in Lagos, Abj, or Ph, no one elsewhere in Nigeria should/can claim to have made a decent pot of soup with 1k.

So with this mindset above, a man earning say 100k a month in Lagos and is still struggling to make ends meet, rent, fees etc would never believe an okada rider in a small town like say Obudu, has built a decent 3 bedroom flat.

They'll ask you was it built with sticks? But just like the Op stated, they only made use of mud blocks and cement to hold the blocks together and for pillars as the case may be. By the time the house is plastered and painted, you'll never know it wasn't built with cement blocks.

Same way if you tell them one can buy a half bag of potatoes for less than 1k in a town/village in Benue, they'll argue just because they can't in the City.

My point is, people earning way less than the op are doing just fine.

All I can say is "Nairalanders, please travel and see".

Bro you've spoken. The Op will be fine. I have a friend who got married in Oyo town 2 years ago with a salary of 27-28k, he works as a clerical staff at a federal institution there, has bsc but took that up when job wasn't forthcoming, that one sef na with connection to penetrate Federal govt job cos once you're in you'll sort yourself out and apply for conversion to senior staff in due time. Visited him this year for his naming and he's doing well, even called musician for naming. He stays in a 2 bedroom flat which yearly rent isn't up to 55k with fenced compound and water running everywhere in the house with and in Lagos to get such apartment you need about 300k+ . All am saying is that there are peaceful locations you can stay in Nigeria and you'll enjoy your life peaceful without digging hole in your pocket to enjoy life.

sexybbstar:
Wow! My head is swelling.what a breathtaking analysis!

why is your head swelling? The guys well-planned life abi? Parlez-vous tres bien francais?

Coolgent:


Bro, I salute your courage!
My salary as of today Tuesday 05-09-2017 is 35k
* am married with one kid
* we are living in two bedroom flat
* am driving 2005 accord
* am currently building 3 bedrooms flat
* am taking care of my elderly parents
* I got married on 16-08-2015
* i personally sponsore my wife from UG2 to 4
* my standard of living has really improved from the Sept 2015 to date, cos i hustle more knowing i have dependants.
* the funds i used to spent on slay queens recklessly can now be put to other productive things

All i can say is dont depend on your salary alone the poorest people are salary earners no one among the world Millionaires/Billionaires is salary earner.
Hustle, Hustle & Hustle legitimately.


NB i can help u with some tips on how to manage your home economically & efficiently

Your earning is not 35k. You wouldn't have been able to achieve all that on 35k even if you studied savings and management in school. You have other money coming in.
Op is talking about 35k being the ONLY income. No additional hustling bringing in more. Many people earning little do other things for an alternative source of income.

Raiyell:


Look, that I am in Lagos is immaterial; I still live in Nigeria with you. The currency we use has the same comparative value across the nation, my naira equal to your naira. That being said: you're are setting yourself up for some serious sh*t if you go ahead and consummate your relationship without first improving your finances.

Two days ago when me and my brother went to the market for grocery shopping for the next month, I know how much I spent and it was nearly up to N25K.

See oh, I did not go to Ghana to buy my groceries, I shopped at Lagos market.

So, I am all surprised that you are saying N35K is a good and livable income in this post-recession Nigeria with 75% inflation.

What is the quality of life you aspire for? Why are you too patient and unambitious?

Even in rural areas, those who know what they're doing bank more than N100K per month so I don't understand what you're talking about. Before you say I am tied up in my enclave, just know that I am talking about Enugu state from a first-hand and native perspective.

You live in Lagos where throats are cut to the amusement of passersby. I live in the north and I believe the OP wholeheartedly.

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

Me? 30yrs, had my BSc in the north but did my MSc at UI. Hoping to register for Phd by next year.
My fiancée? 24ys old and currently awaiting 300 lv registration. Will be done by 2019.

Fact: without any serious research, I think I am save to say that at least 50% of families (basically father and mother) in Nigeria earn a combined income of less than 40k in a month.
Fact: The federal govt claims it has about 100k civil servants. Add paramilitary and military with about 500k personnel and public office holders, I think 800k people in active service on FG’s payroll is a fair judgment. For the sake of argument, let’s assume fg has another 800k retired personnel on pension. That’s like 1.6 million people. Nigeria has a population of 180million people. The WB estimate Nigeria has a workforce of about 60 million in 2016. If we delete the 1.6million on FGs payroll, we still have about 58.4million people left. Obviously, the remaining are left for the State and Local govt as well as private sector to employ. How many are employed?
Lagos state claims it has about 100,000 workers in its payroll. Let me be liberal enough to use it as a benchmark for all Nigerian states and fct. 100k by 37 = 3.7million employees.
Obviously, we still have over 50million people to employ. How many will the Real private sector pick? Yeah those that will pay a graduate from 60k above – how many can they pick? Now many will have to be entrepreneurs, “self-employed” people, petty traders, artisans etc. How much can they really earn monthly?

Fact: 80% of state and LGA workers between level 1 and 10 earn less than 50k in a month. Apart from states like Lagos, Rivers, Akwa Ibom and a few others, most states, especially in the North, pay quite low. On level 8, with Kad Govt, I earn 35-37k. It fluctuates monthly. Note that there are married people with at least 3 children that are on lev 1 - 6. Do the maths.

Wedding:
Many asked how one will pay bride price. Well, I have crossed that bridge. I know my status so before I even got a lady, I started buying some stuff like wrappers to keep. More so, my savings, family and friends rally round me and that was solved. Only a foolish lady will think of bride price as an issue here. Except if her family is poor, why should they demand too much?. 2 of my sisters that married had their bride price pegged at 5k each. The total money paid on the first was 25k and 50k for the 2nd. Mind you, they are currently running their masters programme so they ain’t illiterates. Let me stop here.

So the Wedding? How will I handle it? SIMPLE: I AM CUTTING MY COAT ACCORDING TO MY POCKET

Box: I went to the market and saw boxes of 100-200k. I was showed a set of 5 for 30k as well. I opted for a set of 5 at 60k. That’s my own level too. Mind you there were people picking that of 30k too. Different strokes for Different folks.

RECEPTION VENUE: Church Premises. My church got a lot of space so why should I spend 200-500k (that I don’t even have) renting a hall for a 2hr event? A guy who got married last month in my Church did not do reception at all. Again, Different strokes for Different folks.

Wedding Cards: Saw a nice foreign one. They said it will cost me 30k per 100. I needed 500. I was showed another that will cost 5k per 100. I Finally opted for the one of 10k per 100. Even got a 5k discount.

My suit? I opted for a 16k suit and my best man decided to pay for it.

My shoes? I got really nice shoes but coz it’s my day, I opted for new ones. I picked up a very nice one for 2k. It aint top notch quality but it should take me through the day. It can actually pass for a ck or d&g when viewed from a distance.

My Chairs and Canopies? My organizers are 20. Lol . They have paid 80% of the money.

Cake? My aunt who has a HND in catering bla bla and has been in it for almost 15yrs running has taken that as her contribution.

DJ and Camera man? My men in suit, (5 in number) have paid for that service.

MC? A friend is good at it. That is his contribution.

Wedding Gown: My cake designer linked me to a lady who rents out. She thus charged us 10k for a nice wedding gown. I deposited 5k. Will pay 5k after the event.
Need I continue? I don’t think so.

The main thing – The marriage life
Yeah I know you are saying all I have said na wash. You are waiting for how reality will hit me after the marriage cos that’s the main deal. You gonna say you await my regret thread after some few months. Sorry, your expectation will be cut short.

Fees:
Now, my to-be wife will be registering for a new session by December. Her fees is just arnd 30k so I kept that amount and I have promised myself not to touch it until its time. I don’t even need to touch it. Everything appears almost set and done.

Clothing: I filled my wife’s box to the “brim” with both native and English wears. So for now, cloths aint really an issue.

Accommodation: Here in KD, a 1 bedroom mini flat cost between 80-150k depending on the location. Am not talking of a 2 room flat cos, truly, I don’t need it now. But I am not even thinking of taking the mini flat either. A room and parlor (real face me I face u) cost between 18k-45k depending on the location. There are better ones; mostly new houses that cost 40-60k. I’ve gotten a very nice one for 55k. Just 2 tenants in the house and the other guy is single so we just gonna be sharing the toilet with him. It’s not that I can’t afford it but wisdom must direct me. I got 2plots of land already so I don’t even intend staying in that house beyond a year or 2.

My building: I already have 2 plots of land. I’ve struck an agreement with some guys who will supply me mud blocks at N20 each. At my estimate of 3000 blocks, that’s 60k . Havent paid but after my wedding, I will do it jejely. My plan is to rush the building and roof it b4 the rains come next year. I paid some guys in my area 7k so by next week, they are gonna go there and dig the foundation of a 2bedroom flat for me. Not that I am building now but I have to dig during the rainy season cos the land gets hard during the dry season. My intention is to use just ¼ of the land for that so that when I am blessed wella, I will use the remaining ¾ of the land to build my pent house. Need I tell you that by estimates, I need 6 bundles of those “aluminum” sheets to roof it? I bought 3 last year when it was 16k. I could not add cos it went up to 30k. I heard it’s 20k now but I can’t buy the remaining 3 now cos of my wedding preps. Will do that after my wedding when I have relaxed a bit.

Feeding?
A 50kg bag of rice takes me over 5 months now that I am alone. I believe in varieties so I got different things stocked in my room. Adding one or two extra plate should not make life difficult. I planted maize on my 2 plots. Once harvested, I won’t need to buy semovita all the time. If you have been to the north, you will know that with my harvest, Tuwo is served. Need I continue? I don’t think so. Let me not bore you further.

My support to extended Families
Someone asked in that thread that how do one take care of his families and inlaws. Well, my family aint rich but they can cater for themselves. My dad and mum earn and have only one child left in the university. Moreover, they are sensible enough to know that they should not expect from me. Rather, what is sensible is for them to support me if need be . My fiancées’ parents aint rich either. But I know they aint so poor to demand me to take care of their own responsibility when they know I have their daughter to cater for. Of coz, once in a while, I will do what I can for our families.

Children
Just a child and I will pause until she is done with school. I know it’s gonna come with challenges but I don’t think you expect me to plan out every day of my life and budget for same here. I know that I will cross the bridge when I get there.

Other wants
I am a gadget freak. Before my wedding preps, I buy things impulsively. Now I know I have to control that. I know what lies ahead of me. That’s why I didn’t go for an iphone but went for a hot note. When the hot note packed up, I didn’t kill myself for a Samsung s7 even though I love it. I went for my sweet Ulefone Tiger @ 31k. When I went for a tab, I didn’t go for an ipad; not even a tecno pad. I went for imose xii . Instead of ps3 console, I download games to my laptop and play them. That serves me.

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to force anyone to get married when he is not ready - Not at all. I just want some people to know that there are different strokes for different folks. There are too many factors that determine happiness and success in life and marriage. Your salary is just one. YOU CANT CALL ME A FOOL FOR MY DECISION. I HAVE CAREFULLY WEIGHED MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND PROSPECTS AND I FEEL I AM READY TO TAKE THE LEAP. I KNOW IT WONT BE A WALK IN THE PARK; BUT IT WONT BE TOO DIFFICULT EITHER.
FOR THE “FOOLS AT 40” WAITING FOR THEIR MILLIONS TO BUILD UP BEFORE SETTLING DOWN, TILL UNA COME.
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG EPISTLE. HAD TO TAKE MY TIME SO THAT SOME PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE THAT NO TWO PEOPLE HAVE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS.

I PROMISE TO RAISE ANOTHER THREAD ANNUALLY TO TELL YOU HOW FAR WE HAVE GONE.

Bros you have my utmost, one in a life time respect!

hotdi:
Impressive analysis...Op u are right, I also got married earning N48,000, while sponsoring my younger sister in my state's university because my father is late. I was told not to marry yet but I know as a graduate with promising job, at 30 yrs of age it was the right time because I actually planned to get married at age 30.
Then my wife was 27 yrs old and she just finished her NYSC. Most of your plans look similar to mine, I filled her bags upfront too, I have my suit and shoes in stock too, my committee of friends sponsored my bachelors eve, DJ and MC. One of my cousin sister rented the wedding gown, a friend rented a very moderate hall of 45k, I only paid 35k for decoration. My aunt organised her friends to do the cooking after I bought the food stuff including 55k cow. My in-laws waved the dowry even though we presented it. And other favours I can't mention right now.

After the wedding, I was still able to pay my sisters school fees she is now in 300L. I occupied a one bedroom apartment at our staff quarters. Presently, my wife is doing home lesson inside my sitting room for 27 pupils paying her 3k each.
I got the job with my ND and after my wedding I was placed on Grade Level 7 using my HND, now earning 99k.

Note:
I 've always contributed financially during friends wedding in the past ranging from 5k-7k, in addition to physical assistance.
Good deeds pays. I once followed a friend to his elder brother's wedding those days, the cow purchased for the wedding became aggressive during conveyance and got loosed on the road, I took up the challenge of joining them for tracing and capturing it. I never knew the man took notice of my efforts. He is the one who paid 55k for my wedding cow.

Planning is the way out, given the economic realities in this country, as a stitch in time saves nine. You don't want to be paying children school fees at old age, do you? Then better face the hardship now and rest later. There are no comfortable time to marry...you are just deceiving yourself if you think so. Once you are matured in mind, with little resource and matured wife, you will succeed. Don't be a fool at 40, pls. Marriage usually comes with its own luck sometimes.

Thanks boss. I know it won't be a walk in paradise but I am certain I won't feed or thrive in poverty. I have contributed to friends and relatives wedding too so I understand the reciprocation. I am also not expecting any support from anyone after my wedding but I am optimistic that life gonna get better thereafter. Thanks.

pocohantas:
You have lots of support system, not everyone is this lucky.
You also didn't tell us you most likely have another source of income.
You buy impulsively according to your writeup, who does that with 35-37k salary?

If they say they can't marry with 35k, leave it for them.
Wish them the best...
While they wish you same.



They are not rare. They are everywhere.
OP, is very discerning that's why he could pick her out of all the karashikas. Some of you want a girl with the so called 'slay queen' looks and body ...someone you can flaunt around as high class babe.

That's how you guys end up ignoring the modest babe because she doesn't look overly flashy. When slayqueen slays una pocket, you come to NL and shout all girls are the same.

Start observing pre-wedding pictures henceforth. Watch how modest young men go for modest young women. The best thing that can happen to anyone...male or female, is to know your size, it's not an insult...it's for ones peace of mind.

u sound like a wife material but a quick check on ur profile pics suggested something else.

Good points though.

I AM FORCED TO COMMENT HERE, OP BRAVO FOR THAT, I HARDLY READ ON PEOPLES ON SUCH TOPIC LIKE THAT, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MOST COMMENT HERE WILL COME FROM THOSE WHO ARE STILL BEING FED BY THEIR PARENTS. I WORK HERE IN THE HEART OF LAGOS, SURULERE, I EARN ABOUT 60K A MONTH, SOME WILL SAY THAT'S THEIR POCKED MONEY FOR WEEKEND, BUT TO THE GLORY OF GOD, I AM MARRIED TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN BLESSED WITH 2 WONDERFUL KIDS, LIVE IN A VERY DECENT 3 BEDROOM APARTMENT, MIND YOUR WIFE IS HER 400 LEVEL IN UNIVERSITY, MIND YOU ALL THESE WHERE ACHIEVED WITH N60K SALARY, AND GOD IN HIS MERCY IS DAILY BLESSING AND INCREASING US, SOME OF MY FRIENDS AS I TYPE ARE STILL SINGLE WAITING UNTIL THEY GET N200K JOB.

Olayemi244:



Good one Bro, though I don't like to criticize you but according to what you said, you earn 65k monthly though it was slashed. And you said you gave your wife 50k every month for normal stuffs buy also save 15k monthly. What about your transportation to your workplace... ...you forget to explain that.

I am curious too. That means the income is not 65k. There is another source of income.

Gud luck

queennsekxy:
if your partner is not also working and earning I wonder how you guys will cope when child bearing comes up...besides you have got alot of helping hands in this your marriage

Not help in his marriage but he received help in his wedding theres a difference...

donpata:


Thanks for telling me the "truth" sir. But you cant discourage me. Over confidence dey worry me.

bro you don't need to reply some people.. Let me tell you we have a lot of teenagers on this platform they are green and not ready to learn.Alot of this guy's That comment are feed by their parent they don't know what life entails.

tonio2wo:


nice, i admire your courage but please take down that "fools at 40" you dont have to hurl insults to make point. just like u said "different strokes....."

It wasnt like an insult but a reference to the title of a movie that was acted by Mr. Ibu. That's y i put the words in quote. I noticed the intent may be misinterpreted and i tried editing it but was not permitted to. Thanks for the observation.

ur plan is good, similiar to mine, but my broda, some people don too suffer for dis life, that the thought of suffering again in life scares the shiit outta them

donpata:

It wasnt like an insult but a reference to the title of a movie that was acted by Mr. Ibu. That's y i put the words in quote. I noticed the intent may be misinterpreted and i tried editing it but was not permitted to. Thanks for the observation.

aiite!

OP Your post is filled with inspiration.

There is no goal one cannot achieve with an excellent plan followed judiciously.
Even if\when the unforseen happens a plan still have a way of pulling one through.

At some point in life we should pause and ask ourselves "what is my plan for so and so?"
This would help us be sure we're not just living life for the sake of being alive.

Aquariann:
From my time on Nairaland, I think the issue with most Nairalanders is that most of them are city dwelling. i.e they are mostly found in (or live in) Lagos, Ogun, Abuja, PH, Benin, Asaba, Owerri, Calabar etc.

The general cost of living in these places always affects their perspectives and sense of judgement about life in Nigeria generally.

For example, because N1000 can't cook a decent pot of soup in Lagos, Abj, or Ph, no one elsewhere in Nigeria should/can claim to have made a decent pot of soup with 1k.

So with this mindset above, a man earning say 100k a month in Lagos and is still struggling to make ends meet, rent, fees etc would never believe an okada rider in a small town like say Obudu, has built a decent 3 bedroom flat.

They'll ask you was it built with sticks? But just like the Op stated, they only made use of mud blocks and cement to hold the blocks together and for pillars as the case may be. By the time the house is plastered and painted, you'll never know it wasn't built with cement blocks.

Same way if you tell them one can buy a half bag of potatoes for less than 1k in a town/village in Benue, they'll argue just because they can't in the City.

My point is, people earning way less than the op are doing just fine.

All I can say is "Nairalanders, please travel and see".

Best comment. That is all d difference.

princeeze1:
I am forced to respond to this thread, I work in a private firm, got married 2 yes ago on a 120k per month sal. Company restructured and slashed sal to 65k for me, mind you, those considered expendable lost their jobs. My wife, a student I am training, currently have a 1,year old son. Believe me we are not hungry.

How do we cope: a careful breakdown.
FOOD... We buy what we can consume every month end on this basis.
Rice-2 painter=#3600
Beans-1 painter=#1800
Garri-2panter=#1600
Yams. =#2000
Egg crate=#800
Red oil, big eva can =#900
G oil, same size. =#800
Ingredients, maggi, pepper, salt, onions etc=#1000
Total=#12500. Gas #2000 actually #1800 for 5kg bringing total to #14500

My son now eats adult food along golden morn
Golden morn 2 big pack=#1500
Milk...123 peak for kids 2=#1800
Usual drugs for children, bonabebe, paracetamol, cold drugs etc =#1500
Total=#4800

Actual cooking
We cook once in a month and stock in d freezer, all we need do everyday is boil rice and make EBA. Or rather cook yam porridge or yam n egg.
To cook soup, egusi and ogbon, Egusi 12cups is #1200, my wife also buys ogbono 1500,, tomato fruit and canned and fresh pepper for stew #1500.
Meat to cook all 3=#6000, other things she may buy like vegetables n kpomo etc#1000, total =#11200

Other bills
CTL cable TV #3200
Light =#1000
Waste mgt=500
Fuel for gen, 1k per WK=4000
My recharge n data=3000
Wify recharge n data=2000, I call more lol
Her hair and cream, I don't know her she partitions it is #4000
Total=#17700

Grand total is #48200, So I simply give her 50k monthly to pay for everything at the end of every month. And yes unless you are blind, you can see we are well covered, mind you she and not me drew up our new spending pattern, what a good wife should be able to do.

I save a mandatory 15000k every month, which is #180k per annum, I live in a 2 bedroom flat of 150k, with finance falling down, I simply rented out d guest room for 70k, call me greedy, mind you my guest room has no access to my living room and master room, I only share kitchen, now I only have to pay 80k per annum.
.I still have change.

I make bold to say we live very comfortably. Am I making plans to up my finances again YES. I only made this break down in support of op, from his breakdown, he may not live to even my now manageable standard, but he can, because he has focus.

Lastly we have a good ride, but mostly used socially and for church, I don't fuel or maintain my car from salary, occasional once in a while free cash maybe from office runs does that, everyone who works must have that loose free office change from one or two racket.

Moral.....
LIFE IS ABOUT VISION, WHOEVER CANNOT MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF 35K WILL MAKE NOTHING OUT OF 200K, BECAUSE THE HIGHER YOU GO, THE BIGGER YOUR TASTE. I CUT DOWN MY TASTE, WE HAD A PAID HOUSE MAID AND A LAUNDRY GUY TOO, COMBINE SALARY OF 25K, MY WIFE DOES THAT NOW, WE USED TO PUT ON GEN EVERY NIGHT THERE IS NO LIGHT, NOW UNLESS, THERE IS CONSECUTIVE OUTAGE, DUE TO FOOD IN D FRIDGE, NO NEED AND YES WE DO HAVE NEPA LIGHT AT LEAST 10 HOURS EVERYDAY, I USED TO DRIVE TO GO AND BUY ORDINARY AKARA, NO MORE, I USED TO BE AN OMELORA, NO MORE NOW.

IF YOU LACK FOCUS, YOUR EARNING POWER WILL STILL BE MEANINGLESS.

How do you get to work and back. What about little miscellaneous expenses you might need. You cnnot leave the house everyday with 0naira in your wallet.

I don't believe all this 35k marriage thing or 60k,etc. Because what this people will not tell you is their plan B. They wont tell you that they have another source of income. Salary might not be all they depend on. Then some will sheepishly follow what they say and discover that they were deceived. Look before you leap. Don't follow people's mouth o.

vladimiros:
anybody praising this OP is just as foolish as the op

op is a madman, I fvcking mad man

30k salary and he wants to get married .

op let me make u feel bad.

I am 23 and last month I made over 800k, what do I do? agro trading..simple

I started with 50k. I currently have 3 employees..

and the 800k even small sef.

op u better fing money or else..

I have warned you

I'll love to learn this agro trading, mind putting me thru, am patient and smart enough to pick up

Op God will surely bless u for ur write-up, I also read people's comments on that topic when they were shouting is not possible.

As for me, I am happily married for 5 years now with two lovely kids. when I was getting married my hubby didn't even have a stable job, he was living in a one room face me I face u, though he has already gotten his BSC. I was just concluding my NYSC. He had some savings and also from my own savings (since I served in an oil company), I took care of the bride's side for the wedding while my hubby took care of others. Just similar to the writers own. Today by God's grace he works with a renowned construction company and I manage with an NGO for now. We live in a better flat today and we are stiľ progressing.

Ladies especially should wake up to reality, u know the things u are looking for in ur man, then go for it and stop looking at the present. I rest my case.

donpata:
I was moved to write this epistle cos of the fp topic of marrying someone who earns 35k yesterday. I have seen such questions on NL but I normally ignore them. Someone even asked if a lady can marry someone who earns 100k . I normally laugh at the comments and move on. I laughed at the sheer ignorance of many commenters, and the foolish statements many made. I decided to assume that 70% of the people who commented are either undergraduates still studying who have a big Disney picture of the sweet employment awaiting them or some who have not really known what is out there in the world. The remaining 20% earn well probably and so feel life should be like that for everyone. The remaining 10% commenters are those who really see life as it is in reality – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Now am gonna be objective and subjective at the same time. And let me warn you – IT’S LONG

I CAN TRULY GO ON AND ON BUT CALLING SOMEONE A FOOL AS MANY DID ON THAT THREAD YESTERDAY IS QUITE ILLOGICAL. My dad married at 24. My mum was 19 then. Both are now degree holders. Things have changed and that’s why I am marrying at 30. I don’t want to clock 50 and yet taking my first child to write Common Entrance. If you like say I am rushing.
Firstly, I love my fiancée die. 2ndly, I am a Christian and my bodily desires are building up strongly. Marriage is the way out. 3rdly, I love kids. Since they are an inheritance, I can’t wait to have one as God wills. Lastly, I wanna retire in peace. Not old man using my pension to train undergraduates and Jambites.
Finally, I am not complacent with where I am. I have handled a few millions before but this is where I am now. I wanna go for my phd and I hope to reestablish myself in business. But I can’t again let my social life suffer cos of where I am today. I have a job now; low paying as it is, I know if well managed, I will make it out. Even if I remain in the employ of the State Govt, I cant earn 35k forever. I am young and will keep moving on.

If you are real on your mission, you are brave - In fact, one of the most bravest dudes I have come across. I have so much respect for your person and believe. I must tell you, you are extraordinarily blessed with a woman who completes you.

Everything works for good to those who believe. Since you have determined, you will excel.

All the best bro

TheArchangel:
You live in Lagos where throats are cut to the amusement of passersby. I live in the north and I believe the OP wholeheartedly.

I don't understand what you mean by "throats are cut." Care to explain?

Meanwhile, I think it's a serious disservice to encourage anyone to live on such low earnings. I can't imagine the inherent hardships such a person will pass through.

Is ante-natal free in the north? How about quality education, food, shelter etc.? Do things cost a kobo for a dozen in the North?

Please, educate me.

I can't believe I read this thread from beginning to the end!

Don pata, God will continue to bless you and provide for you. This is a very nice write up but please think this through before going ahead. Poverty is a sin in a city like Lagos which is a place full of sharks (slay queens).

We that are in Lagos would in the meantime continue our usual routine of hustle while looking at the institution of marriage from the side walks.

God bless you.