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How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? - Romance - Nairaland

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How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by valkaka(m): 9:12am On Sep 18, 2017
I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body. i have a big eyes and i sometimes struggle to accept that i will never be as attractive as most guys out there are.

Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes....

Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.

It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.

They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better.

Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.

Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells...

It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world.

To him, she is perfect and beautiful.

A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.

Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by FvckShiT(m): 9:17am On Sep 18, 2017
Just fúçking do undecided
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by menxer: 9:22am On Sep 18, 2017
OP, If the old man can see beyond the frumpy empty-nester and you can't see beyond your alleged big eyes, you are truly blind, with due respect.
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by Prettyamaxy(f): 9:25am On Sep 18, 2017
Nobody is ugly.
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by doughziay: 9:30am On Sep 18, 2017
Prettyamaxy:
Nobody is ugly.
see as u fine
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by Nobody: 9:42am On Sep 18, 2017
Prettyamaxy:
Nobody is ugly.
fine babe
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by Nobody: 9:56am On Sep 18, 2017
Prettyamaxy:
Nobody is ugly.
but you ugly like spotted hyena.
check your front no breast but pimples, back flat ,couple with your bad set of teeth but why?
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by valkaka(m): 10:37am On Sep 18, 2017
menxer:
OP, If the old man can see beyond the frumpy empty-nester and you can't see beyond your alleged big eyes, you are truly blind, with due respect.

lol, thanks for that but I doubt you really comprehend my message patently, try and read in between lines for total discernment.i was only trying to send a message to people out there who constantly diminish and loathe their self-cos of their looks.if you look at the subject matter, you will notice ,It was a question asked by a woman and the message was an answer I gave and i chose to share it here.anyways thanks once again.
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by Adaumunocha(f): 10:47am On Sep 18, 2017
taoheedoriloye:
but you ugly like spotted hyena.
check your front no breast but pimples, back flat ,couple with your bad set of teeth but why?
Like u didn't send a pm.... Hyena indeed!
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by NeeKlaus: 10:51am On Sep 18, 2017
taoheedoriloye:
but you ugly like spotted hyena.
check your front no breast but pimples, back flat ,couple with your bad set of teeth but why?
This method no longer works in 2017. Try a more direct approach, Brah.

Moreover, where did you see the "set of teeth" on her dp?
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by Sammmypoko(m): 10:56am On Sep 18, 2017
no 1 is ugly...just that we are more attractive than each other
Re: How Can I Accept The Fact That I Am Not Pretty? by menxer: 3:09pm On Sep 18, 2017
valkaka:


lol, thanks for that but I doubt you really comprehend my message patently, try and read in between lines for total discernment.i was only trying to send a message to people out there who constantly diminish and loathe their self-cos of their looks. if you look at the subject matter, you will notice ,It was a question asked by a woman and the message was an answer I gave and i chose to share it here.anyways thanks once again.

@bolded, that is absolutely true, if you apply it to that comment I made.

I guess this quote below explains you were responding to a girl's question, But the underlined is what I responded to:

I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body. i have a big eyes and i sometimes struggle to accept that i will never be as attractive as most guys out there are.


If i misconstrued your words, apologies.

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