Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

Kinda confusing

I really don't like the idea of getting loan from people at all...Something s fishy

Hmmm... Some women & their mischiefs. ((yawns))

What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

na wa oh. All this family issues. this early Sunday morning again.

wait OP. so all this Segun guy does is to loan your wife and her sister money when funds are needed?

is the guy working in Central Bank? something is fishy.

gabinogem:
Hmmm... Some women & their mischiefs. ((yawns))

Women don't make the world go round. They make one world stand still. Those little things they term harmless, are more dangerous than hydrogen bomb.

She really acted weird but then dont be too fast to scream.
I will advice you let it go cos she was with the kids, but sternly warn her you wont tolerate that or something close to that

There is a lean chance she has negative intentions and went out with the kids

But deep down you know that she is lying, and she is actually not a good liar. Check her phone, cause lot of s#it is going down with married women these days.

There's nothing more for you to confirm bro....ur wife has entered the league of unfaithful wives only thing for u to do is set a trap for her so u can catch her red handed.

Larryfest:
There's nothing more for you to confirm bro....ur wife has entered the league of unfaithful wives only thing for u to do is set a trap for her so u can catch her red handed.

She may not be be cheating but I support the trap make we catch the large black rat red handed with crayfish in its mouth it's hands covered with red oil and it's small beady eyes stunned while the flashlight is pointed at it.

KingTom:

She may not be be cheating but I support the trap make we catch the large black rat red handed with crayfish in its mouth it's hands covered with red oil and it's small beady eyes stunned while the flashlight is pointed at it.

Hmmm...even hiding things from ur husband can as well be considered cheating..... Marriage scares d hell out of me seriously cos of all this type of issues, i was imagining if i was the husband what would i have done at dat filling station Mehnn i would have just collected the cars keys chase her and the guy down den drive my kids back home cos that was total insult..

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

I just hope it is only loan she is collecting from that Segun...?

And you too..
Na WA for you
Why allow your wife to collect loan from another man?
Are there no more banks on Lagos?
Even if it should be from someone, why not her female friends?

Their relationship looks fishy and more than the "loan" story.

Will I get married like this? Chai

May we never fall victim to cheating women /wives. Amen.

JeffreyJamez:
What I'm trying to understand is why your wife is collecting loan from another man when you're still alive? Explain that part first.

I tire oo. and what is d money meant for? she could. have take a loan now. op to tell you d truth. you didn't organize you family well cos a responsible women must be open to her husband. (if you are responsible yourself).

Are you a man at all? How dare you sob like this when your wife is having affair right in front of you. How can you agree to her borrowing money from a man to the extent that the man turn to driver or some sort of family and friend. It is clear your wife does not respect you at all. You better act like a man.

Abeg we don tire to resolve husband and wife issues for here.



Me no get ordinary boyfriend sef, what can I tell you

@ poster are you sure you fkcing your wife enough?

Fembleez1:
Will I get married like this? Chai

The thing dey fear me and the men still take it if na me I go divorce straight up. I got no time to take bulls hit.

Perish the thoughts about her cheating. Try and repay the loans then ask your wife to severe further business dealings with segun.

If she adheres without blinking an eye then all is presumably well but if not, find that thing uniting them.

Somehow the thoughts of segun is unsettling to you? honestly ask yourself why and then deal with it.

segun could be a nice harmless guy you know?

emilyone:
@ poster are you sure you fkcing your wife enough?

How much is enough? Three-five rounds per night?

I must commend on ur maturity with wisdom u displayed @ the filling station cus not all men can handle it... In all fairness i don't think ur marriage is safe 4 now, our generation now don't really understand the true meaning of marriage but in all,take charge! I see no reason y there should be a room for her to source loan wen u're footing her bills comfortable... She gets loan frm him that led to him driving her in Ur car to her needs wen U're there? Pally take charge b4 they change it 4 u.. Ur kids are around buh we all are human n anything can happen.. Take Charge cus U're the man incharge!

aiyele200:



To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

Na wa o. Bros you won't get the answer you seek here on NL. Opinions here might just fill your head with non existent problems. I believe you know your partner better than any of us here.Your wife might just not be cheating on you like many would want you to believe. I suggest you be very careful with the situation. Talk to your wife, na your babe, na only you know the buttons to press for her to open up to you.

aiyele200:



To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

You need to man-up bro. You gave your wife too much freedom, it would backfire if you don't stop it now. Your wife is too exposed to opposite sex, they will bang her in no distant time. Put your foot down and Suspend all those communications nonsense for now. Tell her want you want and stand by it.

Seems you love your wife, Pls protect her, she's very weak and vulnerable, if you don't act fast, you will loose her and your marriage. No smoke without fire, she's about to commit.

All these loans you people are loaning about.
First of All, how did she and her sister meet Segun?
Does he loan them money with interest on top?
People rarely loan others money when needed like that unless they profit from it.
Is Segun a money lender? The whole thing sounds one kind.
If your wife cannot run a business, or the business is not profitable, then let her look for paid employment.

While I won't say your wife is cheating,she's dishonest and disrespectful.
Why have dealings with the opposite sex and try to hide it from you?Worse still give another man the car to drive without your knowledge?

I don't know how you will do it but you need to put a stop to this.

Who is Segun?
Why is your wife so disrespectful and dishonest?
Why did you entrust money to a financially irresponsible woman?
Who introduced the other to Segun? Your wife or her sister?

Have this in mind:
1. Segun that had the guts to drive another man's wife and kids, wouldn't hesitate to sleep with her.
2. When she went borrowing from Segun (without your consent), you lost a good percentage of your respect before Segun.
2b. The moment she drove off with Segun,you lost whatever was left of your respect in (2a).
2c. If Segun had any single fear, he would come down from that car to greet you! Even if it's fake!
2d. Segun is now feeling important. Don't try that nonsense of letting such slide in the name of modern husband.
3. Get back some of your respect by ensuring she severes further ties with Segun. If she continues talking with Segun after all that happened. Segun will crown you President of dormant husbands.

When you start hiding things from your spouse, cheating is very close by. Transparency in marriage activates your conscience, making it difficult for you to do things you won't be proud of.

I wouldn't trust such a wife. Talk to her.

She may not be cheating yet, but the road to adultery is paved with good intentions.

Sir, I will suggest you encourage your wife to take a kinda of money management 6 months course. With the look of things, she will one day bring home a very huge debt that can drain your resources. She is not paying for anything yet she is embarrassing you with debts up and down.
Give her better warning not to collect any loan again, call the Segun in question and warn never to grant your wife loan again and also her sister, as she might be the one influencing your wife knowing fully when it set her husband " you " will always come to their aid.

aiyele200:


To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

Larryfest:

Hmmm...even hiding things from ur husband can as well be considered cheating..... Marriage scares d hell out of me seriously cos of all this type of issues, i was imagining if i was the husband what would i have done at dat filling station Mehnn i would have just collected the cars keys chase her and the guy down den drive my kids back home cos that was total insult..

I understand you my brother its very disheartening