So we started seeing each other, she works close to where i eat lunch from on a daily.. So I've known her since last year but only faintly on the surface level (just hello hi type of knowing).. She's beautiful (20+yr/o), at least any guy will find her attractive. So this started 4 days ago, i was going to have lunch and she saw me (i didn't see her) she called me and initiated a small chatter, i admired her humility and all so invited her to join me for lunch (a date in disguise, yeah I'm not dumb,wanted to know her beta) i bought her food and some grocery items (mid shopping I told her I'm not even rich with a loud voice because we were at a mall and because she kept saying bla bla is expensive and only rich guys can afford it, indirectly she was referring to me) to take away with i then offered she escorted me a bit as i went on about my business she escorted me really far.... please note before i offered her an invitation to join me for lunch i asked her to escort me a bit while we talk but she was uncomfortable and said she can't go more than a few meters from her shop (I started getting character hints that she's probably a selfish person and will always want control if in a relationship but hey we are not dating yet so lol.. ) but after the lunch and other stuff i payed for she escorted me to my destination and i had to escort her back a bit so she doesn't walk back the distance alone (me trying to be romantic and a gentleman because I didn't expect her to trek this much).. why did she have a change of heart to escort me that far? + when we meet she pulls out the hand but i open my hands wide and opt for the hug instead (I'm guessing she's scared of getting emotionally attached to me just yet?).

then fast forward to the next day, i was using the usual route and she spotted me again, she immediately left her office and came smiling to me, she looked hungry though and i she told me she's hungry (I felt really hurt inside, is she trying to take advantage of my kindness the other day? like she works.. I'm not a freaking free meal ticket or her boyfriend) but i just wanted to show her i can be nice to anyone so i offered to buy some Coca-Cola drinks for her colleagues at work that she should follow me come get them since it wasn't nice me taking her for lunch while her colleagues wait up on her.. so we hit the mall again, i brought out my phone to check my messages and she started making a big deal about it because it's an iPhone, she collected it and was using it to take selfies up and about.. she asked how much i bought it, i said i can't remember that it's not as pricey as she thinks it is (just to drift her from thinking I'm even rich because we all know a relationship built on money is crap.. but it didn't work.. she started blushing up about taking selfies etc) i bought the cokes and my own lunch (take away) she surprisingly said she doesn't want a drink but a cheap bottle water and that she's fine (reverse psychology?) anyway she escorted me a bit and asked me to please check on her when I'm passing her workplace.

Anyway yesterday was the day to clear the air, so i went to her work place and she wasn't around, her other colleagues where really nice to me, even offered me to sit that she'll be back soon, but i didn't want to sit at it'll be less dramatic, because her seeing me standing waiting looks better.. so she finally arrived, I told her i came to see her for the last time because I'll be taking a long leave and wouldn't be seeing her for a long while etc she immediately pullout her phone feeling sad and asked for my number which I gave her, while smiling, saying: "If you wanna call, call.. if you don't want, don't call".. she says she's not that sort of person and that she'll definitely call me ASAP as she reaches home.. so we talked for minutes and minutes until i hit the nail on the head because I'm not a gay guy who will get friendzoned by any girl I'm attracted to.. so i asked her: You have a boyfriend? Your boyfriend must be really cool, I'll like to get to know him, you know, so he gets to see the guy taking care of this beautiful lady when he's not around? (reverse psychology)

She was uncomfortable at this point but faked a smile while looking the opposite direction and said: Yeah my boyfriend, i have a boyfriend.. (she paused a bit, then continued..) I'll let him know. so where do you even live?

I replied: wow.. lucky guy, then proceeded to tell her my street address. I then reminded her about when we first met how she lied about her name telling me a fake name etc lol she was like: You're really close to me now and that time i barely knew you so.. and I was like: no need to be close to me hey.. you're taken.. (I said this in my mind not to her)

i won.. i won't have to spend/waste time with someone that has been taken.. deep inside she knew that her reveal that she had a bf has changed a lot of things.. and things won't be the same anymore with us..

sorry for bad English guys and punctuation.. i was typing fast. what do you think i do? she might be lying to see if i chase her or I'm genuine? anyway I'm out of an awkward situation.. what do you think?


edit: I forgot to add, no one really asked.. She called me around 8pm as soon as i reached home, as she promised.

Your story is romantic but your final move was wack.

Other commenters will explain to you.

mployer:
Your story is romantic but your final move was wack.

Other commenters will explain to you.

hahaha explain sir.. please how wack.. I'm willing to learn from anyone. (no need to be close to me you're taken was said in my mind i didn't say it out) lemme edit my post @izaray

Are you a learner?

izaray:
Are you a learner?

Not quite.. I grew up around ladies men.. i have some experience but I'm willing to learn from anyone.. what are your thoughts?

babtaima:

hahaha explain sir.. please how wack.. I'm willing to learn from anyone. (no need to be close to me you're taken was said in my mind i didn't say it out) lemme edit my post @izaray

Only few ladies will admit they don't have boyfriends, it makes them look undesirable. Now that she has admitted to having one, it will be more difficult for her to date you cos you will see her as a cheat.

You would have gone straight to ask she become your girlfriend. You can even toast and win a girl that obviously has a boyfriend by feigning ignorance of that. Some girls keep improvised boyfriends while waiting for the main one. You can be the main one bro.

babtaima:

Not quite.. I grew up around ladies men.. i have some experience but I'm willing to learn from anyone.. what are your thoughts?

Good. Dating is all about trying of lack, and a game, you put in ur application then wait for her response . You may be lucky to be loved by her or friendzone. Two things are involved. So when next you see her, pour out ur feelings to her, and see her reaction.

Finally a story diff from the normal "she broke my heart and stole my money" "he broke my heart and deflowered me" etc stories we see here all the time

9ice story and ermm you did well clearing the air cos now you and her know shes taken already and she cant make stupid moves on you

the ball is all in ur court........you either fvck off (cos no time for friendzoning) or you chop and clean mouth cos she'll surely fall if you want that to happen


meanwhile lemme call my nigga evaberry to help with a more concrete advice

mployer:


Only few ladies will admit they don't have boyfriends, it makes them look undesirable. Now that she has admitted to having one, it will be more difficult for her to date you cos you will see her as a cheat.

You would have gone straight to ask she become your girlfriend. You can even toast and win a girl that obviously has a boyfriend by feigning ignorance of that. Some girls keep improvised boyfriends while waiting for the main one. You can be the main one bro.

Smart thinking.. but there's a 90% chance that she'll probably cheat on me if she already has a boyfriend but still going out on dates with me like she's doing now.. that's why i asked her that question.. you know as guys if we like a girl and she asks us if we have a gf, we always say No.. so i think she has different guys on her neck because obviously she's really beautiful and she doesn't want to break his heart but yet still wants me.. she can't eat her cake and have it back

imo u made a mistake initiating the boyfriend stuff, did u expect her to say she is single?? u should have just hit the nail on d head and just ask her out officially because frm ur explainations so far, d babe was already feeling u but all hope is not lost. wen next u c ha, just pour out your mind to her and let her knw watsup, she could still end up wit u or atworst she friendzones you like dat ��

izaray:
Good. Dating is all about trying of lack, you put in ur application then wait for her response . You may be lucky to be loved by her or friendzone. Two things are involved. So when next you see her, pour out ur feelings to her, and see her reaction.

hahaha you cracked my ribs right there.. i don't want luck.. I'm not stupid.. this world is filled with selfish people and i want my self-confidence in check, i need to first know if she has a bf first before making any move which i did.. also i wanted it to happen naturally.. no need to pour out feeling to a girl this days they'll take advantage of your honesty.. it's better i get to know her true character/personality etc then let the relationship flow from there.. she's probably a whoře that's why she didn't even say she has a bf while hanging out with me the whole time?
@horlumightyy

I don't believe what she said, esp wen she now asked where you lived...why don't you just call her to come over your place this evening that you re already missing her in a matured tone though

I am waiting for a day i will have such luxury of time to write such a long epistel

horlumightyy:
imo u made a mistake initiating the boyfriend stuff, did u expect her to say she is single?? u should have just hit the nail on d head and just ask her out officially because frm ur explainations so far, d babe was already feeling u but all hope is not lost. wen next u c ha, just pour out your mind to her and let her knw watsup, she could still end up wit u or atworst she friendzones you like dat ��

You have a boyfriend? - - - - - - - > I might be interested in you so I'm just checking to see if you're taken that's what the question really means in face value.

latexxbro:
I don't believe what she said, esp wen she now asked where you lived...why don't you just call her to come over your place this evening that you re already missing her in a matured tone though

I thought about this too. but i can never know now can i? she already used her own mouth to say she has a bf so i can't know if she's lying or telling the truth + won't she start disrespecting me or feel I'm possessive if I keep leading her on after she's clearly made the reveal that she has a bf?

CHAIRMANMAO:
I am waiting for a day i will such luxury of time to write such a long epistel

hahaha it's worth the read.

babtaima:

You have a boyfriend? - - - - - - - > I might be interested in you so I'm just checking to see if you're taken that's what the question really means in face value.


I thought about this too. but i can never know now can i? she already used her own mouth to say she has a bf so i can't know if she's lying or telling the truth + won't she start disrespecting me or feel I'm possessive if I keep leading her on after she's clearly made the reveal that she has a bf?

bro I still believe no girl is single, so either you snatch her away but Honestly try to be with her alone probably then you will know the better truth like how serious they

Asked her if she's got a boyfriend? Wrong move. Don't back out o. Continue what you started. The pvssy is yours already. Atleast if you be guy man

stupidity:
Asked her if she's got a boyfriend? Wrong move. Don't back out o. Continue what you started. The pvssy is yours already. Atleast if you be guy man

lol boss.. i be guy man.. true... that girl really fine to be single. but imagine she's trying to eat her cake and have it back.. two guys at once.. she was supposed to say No.
@latexxbro true.. she's confused at this point.. when she called yesterday night i knew she was hurt for saying she has a bf.. well I'll see her in 2 weeks from now while maintaining contact with phone calls (once in 4 days).

babtaima:
So we started seeing each other, she works close to where i eat lunch from on a daily.. So I've known her since last year but only faintly on the surface level (just hello hi type of knowing).. She's beautiful (20+yr/o), at least any guy will find her attractive. So this started 4 days ago, i was going to have lunch and she saw me (i didn't see her) she called me and initiated a small chatter, i admired her humility and all so invited her to join me for lunch (a date in disguise, yeah I'm not dumb,wanted to know her beta) i bought her food and some grocery items (mid shopping I told her I'm not even rich with a loud voice because we were at a mall and because she kept saying bla bla is expensive and only rich guys can afford it, indirectly she was referring to me) to take away with i then offered she escorted me a bit as i went on about my business she escorted me really far.... please note before i offered her an invitation to join me for lunch i asked her to escort me a bit while we talk but she was uncomfortable and said she can't go more than a few meters from her shop (I started getting character hints that she's probably a selfish person and will always want control if in a relationship but hey we are not dating yet so lol.. ) but after the lunch and other stuff i payed for she escorted me to my destination and i had to escort her back a bit so she doesn't walk back the distance alone (me trying to be romantic and a gentleman because I didn't expect her to trek this much).. why did she have a change of heart to escort me that far? + when we meet she pulls out the hand but i open my hands wide and opt for the hug instead (I'm guessing she's scared of getting emotionally attached to me just yet?).

then fast forward to the next day, i was using the usual route and she spotted me again, she immediately left her office and came smiling to me, she looked hungry though and i she told me she's hungry (I felt really hurt inside, is she trying to take advantage of my kindness the other day? like she works.. I'm not a freaking free meal ticket or her boyfriend) but i just wanted to show her i can be nice to anyone so i offered to buy some Coca-Cola drinks for her colleagues at work that she should follow me come get them since it wasn't nice me taking her for lunch while her colleagues wait up on her.. so we hit the mall again, i brought out my phone to check my messages and she started making a big deal about it because it's an iPhone, she collected it and was using it to take selfies up and about.. she asked how much i bought it, i said i can't remember that it's not as pricey as she thinks it is (just to drift her from thinking I'm even rich because we all know a relationship built on money is crap.. but it didn't work.. she started blushing up about taking selfies etc) i bought the cokes and my own lunch (take away) she surprisingly said she doesn't want a drink but a cheap bottle water and that she's fine (reverse psychology?) anyway she escorted me a bit and asked me to please check on her when I'm passing her workplace.

Anyway yesterday was the day to clear the air, so i went to her work place and she wasn't around, her other colleagues where really nice to me, even offered me to sit that she'll be back soon, but i didn't want to sit at it'll be less dramatic, because her seeing me standing waiting looks better.. so she finally arrived, I told her i came to see her for the last time because I'll be taking a long leave and wouldn't be seeing her for a long while etc she immediately pullout her phone feeling sad and asked for my number which I gave her, while smiling, saying: "If you wanna call, call.. if you don't want, don't call".. she says she's not that sort of person and that she'll definitely call me ASAP as she reaches home.. so we talked for minutes and minutes until i hit the nail on the head because I'm not a gay guy who will get friendzoned by any girl I'm attracted to.. so i asked her: You have a boyfriend? Your boyfriend must be really cool, I'll like to get to know him, you know, so he gets to see the guy taking care of this beautiful lady when he's not around? (reverse psychology)

She was uncomfortable at this point but faked a smile while looking the opposite direction and said: Yeah my boyfriend, i have a boyfriend.. (she paused a bit, then continued..) I'll let him know. so where do you even live?

I replied: wow.. lucky guy, then proceeded to tell her my street address. I then reminded her about when we first met how she lied about her name telling me a fake name etc lol she was like: You're really close to me now and that time i barely knew you so.. and I was like: no need to be close to me hey.. you're taken.. (I said this in my mind not to her)

i won.. i won't have to spend/waste time with someone that has been taken.. deep inside she knew that her reveal that she had a bf has changed a lot of things.. and things won't be the same anymore with us..

sorry for bad English guys and punctuation.. i was typing fast. what do you think i do? she might be lying to see if i chase her or I'm genuine? anyway I'm out of an awkward situation.. what do you think?


edit: I forgot to add, no one really asked.. She called me around 8pm as soon as i reached home, as she promised.

I've been trying to overlook your error untill I get to the bolded. You seriously deserved to be flogged mercilessly. Why on earth would you ask a girl about her boyfriend, what is your own business with that. What you have started on a very nice level, you use your own hand to ruin it.

Do you know that, even if she has a boyfriend she would not dare reveal to you if you have played your game very well. The point where you were supposed to build attraction, you were busy asking boring question.

Next time, rather than asking her boring question you can say, " oh I see, you are already tripping for me, but you might need to compete with the like of Rihanna to finally win my heart ooo". That way she will see you as a confident, charming person. Not an insecure guy as you have portrayed yourself.

You need to learn the art of attracting women my brother.

peerless0012:


I've been trying to overlook your error untill I get to the bolded. You seriously deserved to be flogged mercilessly. Why on earth would you ask a girl about her boyfriend, what is your own business with that. What you have started on a very nice level, you use your own hand to ruin it.

Do you know that, even if she has a boyfriend she would not dare reveal to you if you have played your game very well. The point where you were supposed to build attraction, you were busy asking boring question.

Next time, rather than asking her boring question you can say, " oh I see, you are already tripping for me, but you might need to compete with the like of Rihanna to finally win my heart ooo". That way she will see you as a confident, charming person. Not an insecure guy as you have portrayed yourself.

You need to learn the art of attracting women my brother.

I don't want to be lead on.. she sees me as a confident guy but I'm getting to know her and i deserve to know if she's dating someone or not.. before i can advance.. i don't even touch her or hug her tight when we meet.. its feels cold to me so i had to know what i was dealing with. i don't want to waste time playing games.. she's supposed to show tiny hints and gestures that she's tripping not to let me do all the work by flirting etc..

I clearly understand you, i didn't ask her directly if she has a boyfriend (the insecure guy style), i jokingly said: You have a boyfriend..? he must be cool, I'll like to get to know him, you know, so he gets to see the guy taking care of this beautiful lady when he's not around?. Maybe because I've once been in a situation where I was having this attraction with a girl only to figure out she's a liar and dating other guys.. i was looking for a potential relationship and steady SP not a night stand, if i was looking for someone for night stand then you're absolutely right. So what step do you suggest i take now, i wouldn't mind if she leaves her bf for me.

dnt Eva ask a lady if she has a bf bc d answer wl always b yes, if u feel attracted 2 any lady, cross d finishing line and pull her out, dat Wat makes u a real man after all, she is stl single.


4rm ur write up, al dose moves she made shows she likes u, dat hw we ladies roll. Bt ur concern now shud b weda she likes u bc of d iPhone, d lunch, d fact dat u patronize a mall or she truly likes u. 4get d bf k.

IAMSASHY:

I'll really like it if you give your opinion.. i wanna see this also with a female perspective..

She sounds like she is in an insecure relationship and is ready to try a better offer

IAMSASHY:
dnt Eva ask a lady if she has a bf bc d answer wl always b yes, if u feel attracted 2 any lady, cross d finishing line and pull her out, dat Wat makes u a real man after all, she is stl single.


4rm ur write up, al dose moves she made shows she likes u, dat hw we ladies roll. Bt ur concern now shud b weda she likes u bc of d iPhone, d lunch, d fact dat u patronize a mall or she truly likes u. 4get d bf k.

hahahaha if you really love a guy and want him to be your bf, will you tell him: yes you have a boyfriend?
it just doesn't make sense and it's childish and shows that she has tendencies to be a cheater in future.. but if she really has a bf then she's being matured and facing reality. She's like a semi stranger so i don't want to just waste my time leading an already taken girl.

babtaima:

I don't want to be lead on.. she sees me as a confident guy but I'm getting to know her and i deserve to know if she's dating someone or not.. before i can advance.. i don't even touch her or hug her tight when we meet.. its feels cold to me so i had to know what i was dealing with. i don't want to waste time playing games.. she's supposed to show tiny hints and gestures that she's tripping not to let me do all the work by flirting etc..

I clearly understand you, i didn't ask her directly if she has a boyfriend (the insecure guy style), i jokingly said: You have a boyfriend..? he must be cool, I'll like to get to know him, you know, so he gets to see the guy taking care of this beautiful lady when he's not around?. Maybe because I've once been in a situation where I was having this attraction with a girl only to figure out she's a liar and dating other guys.. i was looking for a potential relationship and steady SP not a night stand, if i was looking for someone for night stand then you're absolutely right. So what step do you suggest i take now, i wouldn't mind if she leaves her bf for me.

Listen to me young man, almost every lady out there has a boyfriend. You need not asking either jokingly or seriously.

Besides, when you meet a new lady, don't show desperation no matter how much you like her. Always shows this send-less attitude, like you don't dig her much. Before you know what is going on, she will start telling you things going on in her life without you asking. She will start wondering why you never ask her out like every other guy, and then developing feeling for you.

Then you can make up your mind on what to do about her.

Now what you should do?
For now drop the mentality that you want a steady relationship with her. Just see her as a normal girl.

No matter what you do, Never ask her out! Never! Rather talk about you and her (not her boyfriend), talk about future with her, tease her and flirt with her. In no distance time, you would be surprised to see some of the results you would be getting.

In all this, never you always give in to her demands or control. You must be in charge.

K, it ur choice, mayb d nxt lady u wl like is d one dat wl lie 2 u dat she has neva met a man in her life. Let assume she told u truth, y dnt u ask her y she is gvin u attention, den u cn draw ur conclusion

babtaima:

hahahaha if you really love a guy and want him to be your bf, will you tell him: yes you have a boyfriend?
it just doesn't make sense and it's childish and shows that she has tendencies to be a cheater in future.. but if she really has a bf then she's being matured and facing reality. She's like a semi stranger so i don't want to just waste my time leading an already taken girl.

IAMSASHY:
K, it ur choice, mayb d nxt lady u wl like is d one dat wl lie 2 u dat she has neva met a man in her life. Let assume she told u truth, y dnt u ask her y she is gvin u attention, den u cn draw ur conclusion

nice.. smart question at the bolded.. now you've said something really powerful.. I'll ask her this when we meet again.

peerless0012:



Listen to me young man, almost every lady out there has a boyfriend. You need not asking either jokingly or seriously.

Besides, when you meet a new lady, don't show desperation no matter how much you like her. Always shows this send-less attitude, like you don't dig her much. Before you know what is going on, she will start telling you things going on in her life without you asking. She will start wondering why you never ask her out like every other guy, and then developing feeling for you.

Then you can make up your mind on what to do about her.

Now what you should do?
For now drop the mentality that you want a steady relationship with her. Just see her as a normal girl.

No matter what you do, Never ask her out! Never! Rather talk about you and her (not her boyfriend), talk about future with her, tease her and flirt with her. In no distance time, you would be surprised to see some of the results you would be getting.

In all this, never you always give in to her demands or control. You must be in charge.

thanks bro.. i just wanted to know and weigh my chances before i do the main asking her out whether it's too early or not.. clearly for her to say she has a bf means it's too early to pour my feelings because she would've probably betrayed her bf and told me "not really" or "no, i don't have bf" if she was ready for a relationship, now i think she's analyzing me and as you said, it's time to play my cards correctly by seeing her as a normal girl, playing by my own rules and not talking about her bf since I've already gotten the info i wanted already (that she has a "mysterious or fake or real" bf somewhere).. thanks bro..

OP note that some ladies are into a relationship just to fill the gap, most of them know that the relationship is heading nowhere but they are just there waiting for the right man to come.

Please take to correction you said yourself that the babe is beautiful so therefore she will always have both serious and unserious guys in her life. And because she doesn't want to be single she will agree to date any of the guys that come around her.

Only ladies in their 30 plus will be bold to tell you that they are single because at that age all they are looking for is a husband and they won't stay in a relationship that they know is heading nowhere.

I am actually waiting for the day I "ENIOLA" will buy food for a gal on our first meeting...

Hey!

You dunno even talk about love before you start buying food for her!!


Hey!

You took her on a Mini shopping on your first meeting without her asking!!!!!!!!!!!!


Is you mad?

Brother..you're in for a serious Financial relationship stuffs!

I take my gals by surprise by buying stuffs for them when they don't expect and with that they do respect me!

And not me buying stuffs up and down for another man's Daughter!

I will rather give to the street then to a well capable lady

most girls these days are undercover hoes...just tell her you'll love you guys to hookup how much will she charge

hertz9te:
most girls these days are undercover hoes...just tell her you'll love you guys to hookup how much will she charge

Hahaha you're Savage bro.. i admire you.. you sound like a guy i know irl.. hats off to you sir for being so straightforward..