supersystemsnig:


Okay. Are you in Lagos? Let's hook up and chat over a cup of drink...cool ?

Hahaha no. I'm 10 hrs and 1000 dollars away by plane. Thanks for the invite though haha

Blueberrie:


Hahaha no. I'm 10 hrs and 1000 dollars away by plane. Thanks for the invite though haha

Hahahaha, Sup....I dig...It's aiite...

Blueberrie:


Hahaha no. I'm 10 hrs and 1000 dollars away by plane. Thanks for the invite though haha

Anyway, marriage was institutied to be a partnership. Which implies an equality, both diversity in roles within the union. But, a vertical-horizontal relationship too at the same time. Which means a male can look to the female as a partner, but in affairs and management, the male is the guide, and the leader. Hence the term in scriptures, Authority and Submission, now, that Jesus submits to God, and the Holyspirit, don't mean they don't have power or authority, but they will over their offices to the God-head but maintain the cord in the relationship. The same was what God intended for marriage, that the man is his wife's partner,lover,friend and leader, but His also the leader, any tilt of the man from the leadership position is a subversion of innate purpose intended for a man in a marriage...Feminism must stop attacking this delicate spot, it will never change.It's a battle that can never be won. The moment Eve ate the apple roles were defined, if you think i'm lying go and read the scriptures, it was not until after the apple incident that roles were defined, which means up on till that period the female had the opportunity to score high and be the alpha-figure in a marriage, but you know better. So yes, equality of sexes, however it must be earned because women are unable to maintain power as much as men. Trust me, i grew up on the streets as a pauper...I saw a lot, or rather i've seen alot. Or rather, i've been around...

By the way, don't take life too seriously...

is it why some surposed bread winner will refuse to do meaningful something waiting for their wives?

Homeboiy:

supersystemsnig:



On the contrary, submissiveness is not enslavement. That's not what submissiveness implies to me anyway

sub·mis·sive
səbˈmisiv/Submit
adjective
ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
synonyms: compliant, yielding, acquiescent, unassertive, passive, obedient, biddable, dutiful, docile, pliant; More

If a husband and wife are partners, why should either one meekly obey and be passive?

banmee:


sub·mis·sive
səbˈmisiv/Submit
adjective
ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
synonyms: compliant, yielding, acquiescent, unassertive, passive, obedient, biddable, dutiful, docile, pliant; More

If a husband and wife are partners, why should either one meekly obey and be passive?

What can i say? You beat me hands down.....We say partnership to placate them however, the man is the figure head in accordance with the will of the almighty...but the institution has been bastardized, so some men offer a " subtle delicate partnership" to placate the females...But...Who knows..God help us..It's meant to be the man as the leader ideally, and the female trust,obey his leadership and submit under his governing authority...This is God's position on the issue, and i believe i have the authority to declare it without fear..so, you're on spot...Perfect..Thanks for correcting me...

banmee:


sub·mis·sive
səbˈmisiv/Submit
adjective
ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
synonyms: compliant, yielding, acquiescent, unassertive, passive, obedient, biddable, dutiful, docile, pliant; More

If a husband and wife are partners, why should either one meekly obey and be passive?

I love the synonyms "unassertive " seemingly means unassuming.... I like yielding... docile is perfect too.... passive is extreme..obedient is cool

gabinogem:
As long as marriage institution is concerned, men will always be the breadwinner... It's his responsibity to provide for the household, why his wife assist in any little way she can. Unless you decide never to go into such institution, then you can start thinking of sharing responsibility 50/50.

What is a " breadwinner."
The person that make the most money
Women and men need to clearly understand today is 2017
Both women and men are getting good education that will give them equal opportunity
It is not the 1950 or 1950 when women stay home and the men go to work for the family
Family need both incomes today
The better educated you are or business minded you are and bless by God it can both whichever way
The women or men can be the breadwinner.

Blueberrie:


Exactly. and that is exactly what real feminism advocates. Equality of the sexes. In fact, Chimamanda herself complains abt the dating setting in one of her vids. You jst spoke like her

Ok my Final question. In as much as that was the case. Can you in your heart of heart now change and become such an example and live like such from today on?

Im partial to chinese food...

GoodFaith:


What is a " breadwinner."
The person that make the most money
Women and men need to clearly understand today is 2017
Both women and men are getting good education that will give them equal opportunity
It is not the 1950 or 1950 when women stay home and the men go to work for the family
Family need both incomes today
The better educated you are or business minded you are and bless by God it can both whichever way
The women or men can be the breadwinner.

They have finally showed up... Laughs in spiritual powers

Next2Bezee:
If both the husband and wife works, a maid can be employed to take care of the home & nannies can take care of the kids.

For those who like maids this will work for them.

If a wife is unemployed, i don't think a husband will have any issues providing for the family by himself.

All right

The main question suggests that the wife has money, that is..if the husband and wife are both financially stable, is it right for only the husband to provide financing for the family? Definitely a big NO for me.

My response to this is if the man wants support in financing for the family then he must support with the cooking, cleaning, house chores and care of the kids, that's the only way I will support equal or any type of financial help by the wife. My reason is this, many men see providing as their job and taking care of the home and kids as the job of the wives, so if the men want any form of support in their job, they must be willing to support in the job of the wife.
It's not fair nor right in any way to say that just because the wife is financially stable she must help financially yet the husband who is emotionally physically and moral stable leaves the cooking, house chores and care of the kids to the wife because he is a man and that is not what men do.
It can't be shared responsibility when it comes to finances but becomes the woman's job when it comes to care of the home and the kids, it's not acceptable,

50-50 all the way or nothing,

The wife brings money to support the family and the man cooks and cleans and takes care of the children not just when the woman is sick or unavailable but also when she is capable and available to do so, The man does it because it's the 50-50 rule.
Do you see my point?

I blame some Nigerian Traditions. A man paying bride price for a girl is practically slavery (the parents are selling their daughter). The guy then feels entitled to anything and the wife must comply. The guy is tasked with providing and the wife becomes a mother and maid. If i could scrap primitive traditions like this, i will.

I think it depends in the man and wife in question. If he doesn't have the mentality that a woman is a slave then he won't treat her as one no matter the bride price
but I do see the point about the bride price

CEEcey:


A husband that depends on his wife's money is a disgrace to men

My money is mine alone and I can only decide to give him if he asks

Besides isn't he suppose to be the head of the family
His money is ours.

You are a disgrace to today well educated women
You have two hands and the men have two hands
Your parent sent you to school and the men parent sent him to school
so if you get a better job that pay better
something are changes, If you are not marriage and looking for a men to take care of you
I will tell you that you are lazy
Go get a good education

tosyne2much:
So many kids here

Stinginess on either a party has never worked for any relationship or marriage.

Do these ladies think that marriage is for kids? Or it's a boyfriend and girlfriend affair they are into?

too many childish comments. you'll want to assume some of them are still in their teen.

supersystemsnig:



They have finally showed up... Laughs in spiritual powers

If u disagreed with me
Please comment

hrhbae:


too many childish comments. you'll want to assume some of them are still in their teen.

Yes, I am with you 100 on your above comment

hrhbae:


too many childish comments. you'll want to assume some of them are still in their teen.

I know most of them are not properly oriented about marriage.


Some comments here can corrupt your mindset about marriage if care is not taken

Daeylar:

I understand your concerns about the tags placed on women, but i believe both parties are saying the same thing but the terminologies is the root cause of the schism between males and females..When addressed as " weak ", it can leave a feeling...Women could barely breathe under these tags for along time, and the need to tag off those tags was what produced feminism. Trust me, i've been chewing on feminism novels since as far back as early 2000. I'm not a master on any subject but a student of life, so please don't take me serious. I just wish to state, that the tags shouldbe taken off, so women can live a happy and enjoyable marriage without or with lesser strains..i.e.


Being submissive implies strength,power,intelligence or even wisdom brought under control. In Japanese manga, when Naruto mastered his technique, his allies and friends called it massive power under control. It is like calming a storm.Truth the told, a woman can have higher I.Q., finance, command massive wealth, it's not a problem to God, but it has to be willed under her authority, suffice to say, the scripture even addresses a man as a woman's cap or crown...or glory in many cases...By analogy, when Ruth said to Obed, "cover me", in the physical sense, was an expression of what the feminine soul craves, a cover... and that regardless of her qualifications or achievements she can bring it under an influence, hence the term submissive and obedient wife...It doesn't mean y'all are weak, but are even stronger than men ultimately cause it takes great grace to tame power...You dig?



"The definition I'm using with the word 'submissive' is the biblical definition of that," Bure explained. "So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that's what I choose to have in my marriage."

GoodFaith:

If disagreed with me
Please comment

I disagree with small portion, but will rather keep shut

Blueberrie:


Hahaha no. I'm 10 hrs and 1000 dollars away by plane. Thanks for the invite though haha

I understand your concerns about the tags placed on women, but i believe both parties are saying the same thing but the terminologies is the root cause of the schism between males and females..When addressed as " weak ", it can leave a feeling...Women could barely breathe under these tags for a long time, and the need to take off those tags was what produced feminism. Trust me, i've been chewing on feminism novels since as far back as early 2000. I'm not a master on any subject but a student of life, so please don't take me serious. I just wish to state, that the tags shouldbe taken off, so women can live a happy and enjoyable marriage without or with lesser strains..i.e.


Being submissive implies strength,power,intelligence or even wisdom brought under control. In Japanese manga, when Naruto mastered his technique, his allies and friends called it massive power under control. It is like calming a storm.Truth the told, a woman can have higher I.Q., finance, command massive wealth, it's not a problem to God, but it has to be willed under her authority, suffice to say, the scripture even addresses a man as a woman's cap or crown...or glory in many cases...By analogy, when Ruth said to Obed, "cover me", in the physical sense, was an expression of what the feminine soul craves, a cover... and that regardless of her qualifications or achievements she can bring it under an influence, hence the term submissive and obedient wife...It doesn't mean y'all are weak, but are even stronger than men ultimately cause it takes great grace to tame power...You dig?



"The definition I'm using with the word 'submissive' is the biblical definition of that," Bure explained. "So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that's what I choose to have in my marriage."

Rukkydelta:
His money is his, my money is mine
And according to the Bible a husband is the head of the home. So he should be ready to take responsibility financial and I will also assist in arrears I can.He can take 70% of his financial responsibility while I do take 30%
We can open a joint in which I donate 30% monthly and he donates 70% that we can use for the family expenditure

"according to the Bible a husband is the head of the home"
So what are u going to be doing with ur money?
show me in the Bible where it was stated that the men must take all or most of"financial responsibility" by himself
The Bible talk about family as one unite
The word joint together

supersystemsnig:






Anyway, marriage was institutied to be a partnership. Which implies an equality, both diversity in roles within the union. But, a vertical-horizontal relationship too at the same time. Which means a male can look to the female as a partner, but in affairs and management, the male is the guide, and the leader. Hence the term in scriptures, Authority and Submission, now, that Jesus submits to God, and the Holyspirit, don't mean they don't have power or authority, but they will over their offices to the God-head but maintain the cord in the relationship. The same was what God intended for marriage, that the man is his wife's partner,lover,friend and leader, but His also the leader, any tilt of the man from the leadership position is a subversion of innate purpose intended for a man in a marriage...Feminism must stop attacking this delicate spot, it will never change.It's a battle that can never be won. The moment Eve ate the apple roles were defined, if you think i'm lying go and read the scriptures, it was not until after the apple incident that roles were defined, which means up on till that period the female had the opportunity to score high and be the alpha-figure in a marriage, but you know better. So yes, equality of sexes, however it must be earned because women are unable to maintain power as much as men. Trust me, i grew up on the streets as a pauper...I saw a lot, or rather i've seen alot. Or rather, i've been around...

By the way, don't take life too seriously...

Hey, I don't have a problem with what you've stated above. I believe marriage, being an institution designed by God is ideal where the hubby being the head of the family, is a leader, a guide and one who loves his wife just like Christ loved the church. And the role of the woman to be his helper..meaning a hubby should also seek his wife's advice before making a decision. No argument there.

What I do have a problem with is society. For instance:
Youre a parent. You have two sons and a daughter. Daughter's the only one who's raised to do the cleaning and cooking while the boys lazy around. She isnt even given ample time to focus on her studies like her brothers. Bad and discriminative parenting. Big problem. Feminism is against this.

two. Youre a woman. You earn more than a guy but when u go out, you expect the guy to pay simply becuz he's the man. Unfair. Feminism is against this.

Feminism is against a whole other bunch of things that i couldnt list here. And btw it benefits both genders, not just women. I have no idea why men feel so threatened by it. And it's taking things seriously in life that brings change.. so yes I love taking life seriously; won't just sit comfortably amidst all this injustice

Blueberrie:


Hey, I don't have a problem with what you've stated above. I believe marriage, being an institution designed by God is ideal where the hubby being the head of the family, is a leader, a guide and one who loves his wife just like Christ loved the church. And the role of the woman to be his helper..meaning a hubby should also seek his wife's advice before making a decision. No argument there.

What I do have a problem with is society. For instance:
Youre a parent. You have two sons and a daughter. Daughter's the only one who's raised to do the cleaning and cooking while the boys lazy around. She isnt even given ample time to focus on her studies like her brothers. Bad and discriminative parenting. Big problem. Feminism is against this.

two. Youre a woman. You earn more than a guy but when u go out, you expect the guy to pay simply becuz he's the man. Unfair. Feminism is against this.

Feminism is against a whole other bunch of things that i couldnt list here. And btw it benefits both genders, not just women. I have no idea why men feel so threatened by it. And it's taking things seriously in life that brings change.. so yes I love taking life seriously; won't just sit comfortably amidst all this injustice

Smart Lady
There is nothing like a good women that can advice her husband
We don't know it all
Your wife can be better in some area than the man
It is a team
" I believe marriage, being an institution designed by God is ideal where the hubby being the head of the family, is a leader, a guide and one who loves his wife just like Christ loved the church. And the role of the woman to be his helper..meaning a hubby should also seek his wife's advice before making a decision. No argument there."

Blueberrie:


Hey, I don't have a problem with what you've stated above. I believe marriage, being an institution designed by God is ideal where the hubby being the head of the family, is a leader, a guide and one who loves his wife just like Christ loved the church. And the role of the woman to be his helper..meaning a hubby should also seek his wife's advice before making a decision. No argument there.

What I do have a problem with is society. For instance:
Youre a parent. You have two sons and a daughter. Daughter's the only one who's raised to do the cleaning and cooking while the boys lazy around. She isnt even given ample time to focus on her studies like her brothers. Bad and discriminative parenting. Big problem. Feminism is against this.

two. Youre a woman. You earn more than a guy but when u go out, you expect the guy to pay simply becuz he's the man. Unfair. Feminism is against this.

Feminism is against a whole other bunch of things that i couldnt list here. And btw it benefits both genders, not just women. I have no idea why men feel so threatened by it. And it's taking things seriously in life that brings change.. so yes I love taking life seriously; won't just sit comfortably amidst all this injustice

Lol @ Youre a parent. You have two sons and a daughter. Daughter's the only one who's raised to do the cleaning and cooking while the boys lazy around. She isnt even given ample time to focus on her studies like her brothers. Bad and discriminative parenting. Big problem. Feminism is against this.


Common sense is against it. I grew up in a home of discipline as the last child...Do you know my mother would virtually tell my sisters to go do something else, i fetched water upstairs, washed the floor, washed the plates...When i finished went for lessons and got home 7.30pm from Primary 3-4...Guess what, it didn't require feminism...I remember being more or less the last in everything, and my mum didn't get the feministic training..


Baby, it's a healthy family we should push for, and not place these basic things under strange tags...Thank God i submitted to that process, i also learnt from the street, today, i'm super versatile, from electricals, to mechanicals, to plumbing, to farming, to cognitive demands, i do all. At 8 years old i was reporting to my dad's workplace till 15...Little wonder why many men are weak now, their mental prowess was not well developed, cause we forget most times, that as we attend to tasks, they also cultivate us in the process and help us become more adept in handling life issues. Thank God i submitted to the process without fighting back. More so, i have an excellent rapport with my sisters. I basically took it as my training...Shame on any mother that don't allow sons do home chores..May they eat from their labour...May the fruits yield increase for them..


We're cool...


So, is it Theresa May or Donald Trump ?

GoodFaith:


Smart Lady
There is nothing like a good women that can advice her husband
We don't know it all
Your wife can be better in some area than the man
It is a team
" I believe marriage, being an institution designed by God is ideal where the hubby being the head of the family, is a leader, a guide and one who loves his wife just like Christ loved the church. And the role of the woman to be his helper..meaning a hubby should also seek his wife's advice before making a decision. No argument there."

WRONG..A man doesn't not to seek his wife's advice, but out of love should involve the wife...Did you read in the scripture where the woman is said to be for the man, and the man for God..A man should hear from God, and should be able to act, but because many women are closer to God, yes, they should be involved in decision making 100%, out of accuracy and rightness but not out of compulsion

supersystemsnig:



I disagree with small portion, but will rather keep shut

Like to hear your view
Life is a learning process

GoodFaith:


Like to hear your view
Life is a learning process

Me ke..I'm a baby o.. Just turned 18 this month

supersystemsnig:


WRONG..A man doesn't not to seek his wife's advice, but out of love should involve the wife...Did you read in the scripture where the woman is said to be for the man, and the man for God..A man should hear from God, and should be able to act, but because many women are closer to God, yes, they should be involved in decision making 100%, out of accuracy and rightness but not out of compulsion

We don't know it all Men or women
If your wife is a better finance planner u will not ask for advice

GoodFaith:


You are a disgrace to today well educated women
You have two hands and the men have two hands
Your parent sent you to school and the men parent sent him to school
so if you get a better job that pay better
something are changes, If you are not marriage and looking for a men to take care of you
I will tell you that you are lazy
Go get a good education

Are you kidding me?
In this present day and age?


Gosh!!!
I think you need that Education more than me
Mr ITK

GoodFaith:


We don't know it all Men or women
If your wife is a better finance planner u will not ask for advice

Read my earlier comments i addressed this issue. I said in a healthy family structure, the best talent should handle the department, whether male or female, the best person should handle the department, in the person's absence number two takes over. If the emphasis is on healthy family building, we won't need to worry about the gender...it should almost not be brought up self

CEEcey:




Are you kidding me?
In this present day and age?


Gosh!!!
I think you need that Education more than me
Mr ITK

I am no kidding u but u fill of BS
Yes in present day and age
Not 1950 0r 1960
if you marry and you make the most money
You need to rethink your position,
In Nigeria let us ask you make 500,000.00 monthly You are a doctor
Your husband make 300,000.00 monthly Junior level banker

supersystemsnig:



I love the synonyms "unassertive " seemingly means unassuming.... I like yielding... docile is perfect too.... passive is extreme..obedient is cool

would like your daughter any of your children to be docile? Is it a good attribute in this world of opportunists.

when I was a teenager I was very timid and docile by dad hated that. He always complains and he made me change.

I do not think being docile as an adult is cool.

GoodFaith:


Yes in present day and age
Not 1950 0r 1960
if you marry and you make the most money
You need to rethink your position,

Wrong Move...


Humility is having more and been under control at the same time...After a contrite heart, God loves an individual that is unmoved by " more ". Shall we now be so unstable that our lives are directed by financial increase? Is financial stability the only/major thing that makes up an individual? You're making some mistakes, but you're in the right direction...Holyspirit, i wished i had time to break these things down...