pocohantas:
There is nothing wrong with a woman desiring marriage so much, it's her life. She should be successful at it.
Same goes to the one who desires career more.

What I am yet to understand is why Nigerian males speak from both sides of the mouth. I stumbled on a thread talking about desperation of ladies to get married. Then the ones that are not desperate are tagged feminist.

You see, you can't please people.
Just do what works for you.
If you can handle both at the same time, good!
If you can't, take it one step at a time.

Lol d thing tire you too?
Every woman should just pursue her aspirations to the best of her ability and by her own standards.

Brugo:
Let us look at this from another viewpoint. Marriage is an achievement to those who view it as so. Don't condemn them.

A girl who grew up in a functional home where the father provides leadership and finance would see it as an achievement to marry someone like her dad.

Also, a poverty stricken but beautiful lady is often inclined to view marriage (to a rich guy) as an achievement even though her only asset is her good looks. Marriage is her one way ticket out of poverty.

It is also an achievement for an enterprising young man to marry a thoughtful, hardworking, high-flier woman.

If you marry a good spouse (someone who gives you peace of mind and support), you would know in your heart that it is a big achievement.

my guy which location you dey?
You deserve a drink for that wonderful response

Adaumunocha:
But Nigeria is not a matriarchal society... Women are oppressed here so we need feminism... Hope u know we have different types of feminism

women are oppressed in nigeria ? the same nigeria where diezani and alakija were slapping men upanda and controlling all kinds of men ? nigeria is a unique society in that whomever has the money is who is in control. if you are a rich woman you can control all the men. so go get you some money and your problem will be solved lmao. nigeria has no patriarchal system whatsoever so this whole feminism thing is unwarranted. it is a laughable joke

Everything you said made sense until you mentioned being a male feminist. That is the problem with society, social militants and effeminate simps like you. Infact feminism has ruined things for women in general, I advocate the fair and better treatment of women than the current standards, however, I do not support the notion of equality, it doesn't exist and will never happen, we just have to understand our differences and that should not be used as a tool of subjugation.

Daeylar:
The independence or not of ladies has nothing to do with why they are abused,
They are abused because the useless men choose to do so, don't give the useless men excuses

Other than that nice write up op.
Although there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be married


Nothing but the truth.

he is not trying to justify useless men. An average African man believes he can marry any woman in their numbers as long as he is well to do or well placed. So, women are perceived as a "property"... goes back to the society. This is why the useless men perhaps treat what is seen as property anyhow. In other climes i.e the western world, it's a man to a woman. Women have also put being attached to a man a second priority whilst making an impact comes first. The impact made the law favor the women that's not to say there are no abuses. Point is simply, our young girls should strive to make impact first and take away this "husband's house" mentality.

Nov6:


my guy which location you dey?
You deserve a drink for that wonderful response

Thanks

Apogee14:
women are oppressed in nigeria ? the same nigeria where diezani and alakija were slapping men upanda and controlling all kinds of men ? nigeria is a unique society in that whomever has the money is who is in control. if you are a rich woman you can control all the men. so go get you some money and your problem will be solved lmao. nigeria has no patriarchal system whatsoever so this whole feminism thing is unwarranted. it is a laughable joke

I suppose you bear your mum name cos that's what matriarchy is all about in a society. We operate a patriarchal system here pls.

Any lady who is successful in her carrier will not look will not struggle to marry cos marriage will naturally come to he. I advice ladies to marry their carrier first because they did not go to school for nothing.I belive if ladies embrace my advice d prayer for a husband in d church and mosque will reduce and our religious leaders will have a brake. Wisdom is profitable to direct d wise.in our society today there is equal opportunity for both male and females.

Some women dont want a successful career all they want is a happy family.
Do what makes you happy

NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

solasoulmusic:


In fact it increases it if your with the right person

[b]Selfish interest [/b]is what kills today’s marriages I love you but.......anything after that but is usually a selfish reason. I don’t want to get married for marrying sake we get married because we want to build a life together with someone we want to share it with

Keyword share no nonsense behaviors

exactly, the message OP is trying to pass. People marry these days not because they want to complement the other party but because they are looking to benefit something. When that thing is gone, there is a problem. Many Africans are not looking to live a life of impact. What I mean is, when one sees himself as an helper to fufill the other person's destiny, the world would be easier.

Adaumunocha:
I suppose you bear your mum name cos that's what matriarchy is all about in a society. We operate a patriarchal system here pls.

bearing fathers name is your own issue ? that is inconsequential. that applies all over the world. if you want to bear the womans name try planet mars. on planet earth all countries go by the name of the father. its biblical and universal law. nothing to do with patriarchy or matriarchy. matriarchy and patriarchy is in how you perceive the sexes and not in who bears whose name

NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

Bros speak for your self and your family.....

The women i have come across don't have this mind set.....they are all for growth and achievement and just like their male counter part they also want to have families.......just as we have lazy guys who don't want to work but be committing crime...we also have lazy women who are looking for men that will be footing their bills.....

YelloweWest:

Havi g a child is the greatest thing that can happen to many young women.
_{The only proper way to have a child is through marriage!}

how so?

bettercreature:
You called it wrong perception at the same time you said those you engaged told you their first priority is marriage
Mehn you can not pass a debate,you are in support and against your question

I think the OP's submission to Afam4eva is more of "political correctedness", while having a euphemistic garb.

Again, the OP also appears not to know the real root and philosophy of...communism....sorry feminism. . Let's not even go there yet.

Male feminist?? Better don't let your mum hear that


Anyone who choose to make marriage their first priority has all the right and backing, and can even decide not to be a "career woman", and still be very fulfilled.

Let's cut it short.

Male feminist

The problem is the society. So if you ask 20 girls that graduated from a class after 4-7 years of higher education,the goal of 15 is to marry a handsome prince who can provide for them and their entire family. Years down the line marriage becomes an eyeopener for these women but most of them do find it hard to retrace their path to successful career with family and children responsibilities so they settle for less. However with the hardship experienced these days, that is beginning to change.

majekdom2:
he is not trying to justify useless men. An average African man believes he can marry any woman in their numbers as long as he is well to do or well placed. So, women are perceived as a "property"... goes back to the society. This is why the useless men perhaps treat what is seen as property anyhow. In other climes i.e the western world, it's a man to a woman. Women have also put being attached to a man a second priority whilst making an impact comes first. The impact made the law favor the women that's not to say there are no abuses. Point is simply, our young girls should strive to make impact first and take away this "husband's house" mentality.

You're still doing the same thing,

What I mean is this
, it's not the fault of the women, it's not on the women to change anything, the women are not to be held responsible in anyway for the actions of the men. It's the men that have this mentality, they need to change it by themselves, they didn't take the woman into consideration before considering her as property like you said so therefore they shouldn't also expect the women to do anything to change their mindset,


The problem is from them, they should fix it by themselves

kadara2041:


It is not a general idea. If you follow the bible teaching then the woman is under the man. She must be subservient to the man
Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

many of you contradict the scriptures. Being the head does not mean someone is your subordinate. Christ and God is one. Christ is not subordinate to God. The work together. God was glorified through christ! There is nothing like feminism or inequality in Christian marriage. Women and wives are no subordinates. They are complements. A man can only be glorified through his wife. Pls stop having this sordid view

majekdom2:
how so?

Having a child(ren) out of wedlock signifies irresponsibility and a deadened moral consciousness.

No matter the name you choose to call it (Baby mamism o, friends with benefit o, live-in lovers o etc), a child out of wedlock is a BASTARD!!! And those involved committed fornication/adultery!! (Except it is a case of rape and related causes).

The West can choose to say otherwise, but that is what it is to a normal society.

NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

I believe you want likes and this is the objective of this silly thread



Different stroke for different folks. Every woman has a right to desire marriage and to hold it in whatever way that pleases her, one issue with the notion about the female folks and marriage is the obsession with the male folks about how the female folks see themselves or what for themselves. Just as the male folk wants to own the plane,t the females want marriage, So? Big deal. Op, get a skill, learn a skill, or get a job and be busy.

Every female has a right to fantasize about marriage, and has a right to their choice of partner without unnecessary interference from the media, and the speculative noises. Op, let women be abeg, if they so much esteem marriage as the greatest achievement of a life time, it's their cross to carry and bear, this issue has long been over beaten by the society...Be it to everyone according to his/her desires..


And for the male feminist, it's obvious you need to deal with your confused state...


Peace !!!

It is not an African thing , It is a reflex towards a limited reproductive life. Which needs a quick ignition to get longer span. (menopause)
It nature, you can't fight nature.

Daeylar:


You're still doing the same thing,

What I mean is this
, it's not the fault of the women, it's not on the women to change anything, the women are not to be held responsible in anyway for the actions of the men. It's the men that have this mentality, they need to change it by themselves, they didn't take the woman into consideration before considering her as property like you said so therefore they shouldn't also expect the women to do anything to change their mindset,


The problem is from them, they should fix it by themselves

I have just made my point simple for you to understand... Many young women see men as an escape and not complement. The ladies that see their husbands as complements in fulfilling destiny are enjoying their marriage. What is there for a man to fix? That a man chooses to have 10 wives and the women agreed to marry him... I can decide to buy many cars.. thats the mentality the man has. You are saying the man should decide to have just one car.. a man will always want more. What can the cars do to be unaffordable to the man, they need to get expensive. Can you buy a car worth more than what you have?? NO. This is the point. When our ladies leave marriage and strive to make impact, the men would see things differently. As long as the African women are termed affordable, the cycle continues. I can't just get to the states and decide to marry an American, there are one or two things I will consider but on average one can come to Africa and marry an African.

LadyJasper:

Lol d thing tire you too?
Every woman should just pursue her aspirations to the best of her ability and by her own standards.

No, we male folks want to dominate you ladies to the point of asphyxiation...

majekdom2:
I have just made my point simple for you to understand... Many young women see men as an escape and not complement. The ladies that see their husbands as complements in fulfilling destiny are enjoying their marriage. What is there for a man to fix? That a man chooses to have 10 wives and the women agreed to marry him... I can decide to buy many cars.. thats the mentality the man has. You are saying the man should decide to have just one car.. a man will always want more. What can the cars do to be unaffordable to the man, they need to get expensive. Can you buy a car worth more than what you have?? NO. This is the point. When our ladies leave marriage and strive to make impact, the men would see things differently. As long as the African women are termed affordable, the cycle continues. I can't just get to the states and decide to marry an American, there are one or two things I will consider but on average one can come to Africa and marry an African.

I disagree, rather it's men that see wrongly. You can't determine people's choices and desires. Everyone has a right to their beliefs and whatthey want for themselves. Have a perspective shift, if you want a thing, you want it, and not because someone else makes you want it. This is how it be brov?

NiggaBoi:
I have come across a sizeable number of ladies and I always love engaging them in different types of conversations. I'm a person that's so focused about making a good living for myself so I'm always interested in seeing everyone around me successful and doing great. But it really breaks my heart every time I ask my female friends what they picture their future like.

The first thing they always talk about is getting married. They got me thinking and I got to understand why. The average African girl has been brought up with the mentality that marriage is the greatest achievement for them. That's why we have a lot of females feeding off men and depending on them for everything.

Our society not having enough independent females is one of the major causes of abuse of women. I'm always happy when I see females excelling and doing well in their various career paths and family life. But I guess the mentality of viewing marriage as the greatest achievement for a female has to be abolished. Our society will be better if we have as much successful females as their male counterparts.

My name is Ola, and I'm a male feminist.

Pls the mods should help me push this to FP.

Biologically look at us from the evolution perspective and imagine us in the animal form, if the lion had to gaurd the den and fight for territory. Then the lioness go hunting, what do you think the male and female of the human species should be doing to bring a good patnership? Thats is when you start understanding more about male and female relationship

supersystemsnig:



I disagree, rather it's men that see wrongly. You can't determine people's choices and desires. Everyone has a right to their beliefs and whatthey want for themselves. Have a perspective shift, if you want a thing, you want it, and not because someone else makes you want it. This is how it be brov?

Bravo. No gun to anybodys head

majekdom2:
how so?

Most of us are either Christians Muslims or traditionalist.

In all 3 of the above it is frowned on to have a child out of wedlock.
Besides children do better in a stable balanced home. Having both a mother and father.

So in this regard and others, married is an achievement.

Apogee14:
women are oppressed in nigeria ? the same nigeria where diezani and alakija were slapping men upanda and controlling all kinds of men ? nigeria is a unique society in that whomever has the money is who is in control. if you are a rich woman you can control all the men. so go get you some money and your problem will be solved lmao. nigeria has no patriarchal system whatsoever so this whole feminism thing is unwarranted. it is a laughable joke

I have found that women that claim they are opressed are the lazy ones. They are the ones that condemn men and shout feminism on a faceless forum. They do not have a a voice anywhere. They are leeches living in delusion. They eat from a man and at the same time do not want to do his will totally. The female gender may be opressed in the North but not south. I am always thrilled at the successful women I see around, the ones that cocky men are afraid of. For the married ones, if you check well, they see their partners as complements. They had their goals and only saw marriage as complement to achieving their goals.

chukwuboi:

Bravo. No gun to anybodys head

I'm lost...

Bidobado:
Everything you said made sense until you mentioned being a male feminist. That is the problem with society, social militants and effeminate simps like you. Infact feminism has ruined things for women in general, I advocate the fair and better treatment of women than the current standards, however, I do not support the notion of equality, it doesn't exist and will never happen, we just have to understand our differences and that should not be used as a tool of subjugation.

it is causing more problems in a less intelligent continent like Africa. Thank you!

majekdom2:
I have just made my point simple for you to understand... Many young women see men as an escape and not complement. The ladies that see their husbands as complements in fulfilling destiny are enjoying their marriage. What is there for a man to fix? That a man chooses to have 10 wives and the women agreed to marry him... I can decide to buy many cars.. thats the mentality the man has. You are saying the man should decide to have just one car.. a man will always want more. What can the cars do to be unaffordable to the man, they need to get expensive. Can you buy a car worth more than what you have?? NO. This is the point. When our ladies leave marriage and strive to make impact, the men would see things differently. As long as the African women are termed affordable, the cycle continues. I can't just get to the states and decide to marry an American, there are one or two things I will consider but on average one can come to Africa and marry an African.

I'm talking about men abusing their wives or women, what are you talking about?
It doesn't seem like we are talking about the same thing

earthcrust:
[b]Any lady who is successful in her carrier will not look will not struggle to marry cos marriage will naturally come to he. [/b]I advice ladies to marry their carrier first because they did not go to school for nothing.I belive if ladies embrace my advice d prayer for a husband in d church and mosque will reduce and our religious leaders will have a brake. Wisdom is profitable to direct d wise.in our society today there is equal opportunity for both male and females.

Exactly, only a few cases.. which may be attitude or some other problems!

youngRx:
even Chimamanda one of the greatest feminist of her time is happilly married....and she is still pursuing her career to the fullest.

Thanks to the reasonableness of the husband.